


Walking Down Memory Lane

by Bella_Prince



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 09:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 148,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10160429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bella_Prince/pseuds/Bella_Prince
Summary: Would the story have changed if Severus's mistakes were a little different? What would have changed if Severus had changed sides sooner? Would Lily forgive him, would her choices be different? How would James, Sirius and Remus play into her life with these changes? Had these things happened along with a chance at redemption and forgiveness, Harry's life could have been different.





	1. Chapter 1

It was that time of year again. Severus's birthday was approaching fast. That day along with so many other dates that intertwined their lives that wouldn't allow Lily to forget him. Lily sat at her kitchen table sipping tea as a flood of memories came rushing to her, she thought of how her life had been filled with twists and turns, she thought of all the people who had played huge parts in her life. As a tear ran down her cheek she gave into them. Stepping into the past, indulging in the love, anger, fear and loss. She went back to the day she knew her heart no longer belonged to her. She and Severus had childhood friends but nothing could compare to that day. The day that altered her life forever.

It was the first summer after Severus's mother had left his abusive muggle father. As soon as his grandfather Lord Prince had gotten word his disowned daughter had come to her senses he welcomed her home. Lord Prince had purchased Severus and Eileen a new home on Spinners End and purchased Severus his first muggle car. The Lord Prince took great pleasure in doting on his only grandson; he was trying to make up for Severus's horrible childhood.

Severus wasted no time in coming to show off his new car to Lily. Lily was sitting outside under a tree with a book in hand, upon hearing the loud roar she looked up to see the shiny black Trans Am quickly approaching her house. It rolled to a stop in front of her gate. She walked to the fence to see Severus sitting there with the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face. Lily was giddy with excitement "Oh Sev! Its beautiful!"

Severus smirked and said "Yes, I know. Would you like to go for a ride in it?"

"Of course I do! Let me go tell mom were leaving. I'll be right back." Lily said then quickly ran toward the house.

Severus sat there nervous, he had loved Lily from the moment he had met her, but until now he had never felt worthy of her. His newfound family fortune had done wonders for his confidence. Severus loved Lily and he was done being just her friend, he wanted more. Today would be the day he found out if she felt the same.

Lily quickly made her way out to the car. "Oh Sev! Its got T-tops! Can we take them out?" Lily asked.

"As you wish princess! Grab that side." Severus replied giving her a mischievous look. "Miss Evans where shall we go?" he asked.

Lily thought for a moment then looked at him and said "How about an empty parking lot?"

Severus laughed and said "Girl you will be the death of me! Lets go!" They spent the afternoon doing doughnuts in parking lots and seeing who could leave the best tire marks.

Around dusk they found themselves at a small lake they just sat in the car watching the sun set across the water. Lily found herself laying her head in Severus's lap; he was gently running his fingers through her hair. She looked up at him and smiled.

He smiled back with the most mischievous look in his eyes. "Did you have fun today Lily?" he asked.

"Of course I did, I was with you!" she giggled.

He gently pulled her into his lap; he looked into those beautiful green eyes and kissed her. To his great surprise she kissed him back.

Lily had waited on this moment for years, somewhere along the way she had fell in love with her best friend. Lily pulled back to look at Severus. She could see the shock in his face; she giggled and said "Its about damn time!"

Severus was still stunned but managed to say" I love you Lily ".

Lily smiled sweetly and said" I love you too Sev." In that moment the world stood still and Lily Evans gave her heart to Severus Snape for always. That day would forever be etched into her mind.

The following weeks were full of romantic evenings that fueled the love she already felt for him.

On an August evening Severus had come to pick her up, Lily couldn't have known that this would be one of the most special nights of her life. She had no idea Severus had planned something special. He took her to a small cabin in the woods. When she walked in the entire cabin was softly lit with candle light, a beautiful bouquet of flowers next to a small pallet made on the floor.

"Oh Severus its beautiful!" Lily beamed.

He gave her a half smile and said "I have another surprise."

Lily's face lit up, she loved surprises. "What is it Sev?"

Severus walked over to where the flowers were sitting and from behind them pulled out a bottle of fire whiskey and two glasses. Severus smirked and said "How about it princess. Can you handle this or should we run out for a bottle of Strawberry Hill?"

Lily smugly said "I will drink you under the table Severus Snape!"

Severus laughed and said "And so it begins."

They sat on the pallet drinking shot for shot. It wasn't long until the bottle was gone. Lily picked up the empty bottle waving it in the air and said "We should have gone after that bottle of Strawberry Hill!" They both fell back laughing.

Severus rolled onto his side to look at Lily; she turned her head to face him. Severus leaned down and kissed Lily. That simple drunken kiss was going further than Severus ever thought possible. He stopped and pulled away from Lily.

Lily looked hurt. "Whats wrong Sev?" She asked.

Severus shook his head and said "I wont take advantage of you Lily. You'll regret this in the morning and I wont have you hating me."

Lily was stunned "Severus how could you ever think I would regret this moment with you?"

"Lily you're drunk. You aren't thinking clearly." replied Severus.

Lily looked at Severus and said "Drunk or sober I wouldn't share this moment with anyone but you. I love you. I will never regret this."

Still a little reluctant Severus asked "Are you sure Lily?"

Lily tilted her head to one side and said "I have never been more sure about anything in my life."

He was ever so gentle with her, slow and sweet. There wasn't a part of her he didn't touch or kiss. Lily was feeling rather awkward and shy but she loved him. Severus seemed to understand and took the lead. She was only 17 but he made her feel like a woman. The only woman on earth.

Severus looked at her with those dark eyes and asked once again "Are you sure?"

All Lily could do was shake her head. He then asked if she was ready, she bit her lip and threw her head back as he ever so gently eased into her, taking her innocence. Through the gentle motions he would stop and look at her with the most adoring look and make sure she was ok. She had given him her innocence but she gained her soul mate.

Afterward they laid there intertwined in each other. Her head on his chest it was complete bliss. She was his, mind, body and soul. They didn't leave the cabin that night. She would endure punishment at home but it would be worth it for this night to not end.

Lily's parents were quite upset that she had not returned home the night before. Lily told quite the fib leaving Severus out of her little lie as to not make her parents angry with him. As punishment she was no longer allowed to be friends with the girl she had lied and said she was with. This didn't bother Lily much. The girl she lied about she never cared for much anyways. She still had Severus and that's all that mattered. They had one more year at Hogwarts then they'd be finished with school and could move forward with their lives.

The summer at home was drawing to a close and Lily and Severus had to decide what to do upon returning to school. He was Slytherin and she Gryffindor. They had no mutual friends, being in different houses almost seemed like being in different worlds. Lily looked at Severus with tears in her eyes asking what they should do. If they were public about their love the Slytherins would torment Severus about his "mudblood" and the Gryffindors would taunt both of them. Especially James Potter and his little crew. They sat together for hours talking though options and consequences. At last they decided that they would act toward each other in public as they always had, "just friends".


	2. Chapter 2

It nearly killed both of them those first few days. It was so hard to act like friends with your soul mate. Of course they snuck off many nights into the forest. The forest proved to be their safe haven. There they made love and could just be together as they wished. Sneaking in and out of the castle proved challenging but they had successfully pulled it off quite a few times before the night all hell broke loose.

James Potter had always made it known he wanted Lily. Lily had no interest in him. In Severus's words he was an arrogant swine. He had made it his mission to make Severus's life hell over their years at Hogwarts. James and his band of merry men had constantly taunted Severus. They used every opportunity to embarrass him. It was a well-known fact by their last year that James had an invisibility cloak he used often. This night he had used it to follow Severus and Lily into the forest, he no doubt had watched them the whole time. What he seen must have enraged him.

When Lily and Severus emerged from the forest there stood James Potter. Lily hanging on Severus arm felt him tense; she looked up to see a furious Potter.

Severus looked at Potter with a smirk and an air of triumph for he had won Lily.

Potter looked at them in disgust and asked Severus "Does she know?"

Severus went pale and dropped his head.

Lily confused and frustrated asked "Do I know what?"

Potter looked at her gloating and said "Do you know you're sleeping with a death eater Evans?"

Lily felt like her whole world had stopped. She looked at Severus and begged "Please tell me this isn't true!"

Severus looked at Lily with those dark eyes full of sorrow and pleading.

"Severus! No! Tell me he's lying!" Lily screamed.

Severus looked at her devastated and said "Lily, its not what you think".

Lily confused and devastated herself said "Well enlighten me then!"

Severus frustrated said "We will discuss this but not around that bastard."

Potter stood there in all his smugness, laughed and stalked away.

Lily turning to Severus said "You better have a damn good explanation!"

Severus replied "I do but its complicated. Can we leave this be until tomorrow?"

Lily exhausted and frustrated agreed. They walked in silence up to the castle.

Before going their separate ways Severus looked at Lily and said "Lily, what I must tell you is difficult. Please remember that I love you now and will always love you."

Lily took a long look at Severus and told him she would always love him. They parted ways into their own houses both of them knowing they'd never sleep tonight for tomorrow would change everything.

The following morning Severus and Lily both awoke with dread in their hearts. Lily was so afraid of what Severus had to tell her and Severus was realizing his secret could cost him the only person he loved.

They met under the willow they had shared so many moments under, it was removed from the hustle and bustle of the campus, and it provided some sense of privacy. Both equally nervous they sat and looked at each other, both hearts breaking.

Lily looked into Severus face begging for truth but not really wanting it. She had heard rumors for years but never thought any of it to be true.

Severus crushed by fear knew it was time to tell her his secret. "Lily, what Potter said last night has some truth to it. Please Lily understand had I ever known you'd have me like this, being more than just your friend I would have chosen differently."

Severus barely got out those words when Lily said "Chose what Severus!? What have you done!"

Severus began unraveling his story. "Lily, by our 3rd year all I had was you. Potter and those idiots were making my life hell. I was so lonely at night in my house and I've always been the curious nature. Some of my house mates invited me to a party while you were gone during Christmas break. Out of loneliness and wanting to be accepted I went. I had no idea until I got there what I was getting into. See it wasn't a party. It was a recruitment meeting for future death eaters. Lily, they promised me things I've always wanted and hoped for. The promise of friends, power, money and status; It was a powerful incentive. Yes out of a moment of weakness and greed I accepted."

Lily disgusted and furious said "I know you're lying Severus! I've seen every inch of you! You don't have the dark mark!"

Severus looking down said "No, I don't. I'm not a branded man yet."

Lily outraged "What do you mean not yet! If you aren't branded you can get out!"

Severus defeated said "Lily, you just don't walk away from the Dark Lord"

Lily with tears in her eyes knew what this meant. There was no future for them. It was bad enough he was Slytherin but to be a death eater meant her blood status would never allow them to be together. "Severus what the hell were you thinking!? Do you realize what you've done! Do you realize this will be the end of us!" Lily screamed it, no longer caring who knew.

Severus pleaded with her to give him time to try to figure out a way for them to be together. Knowing they had no option to be together besides living in hiding for the rest of their lives. "Lily, please I beg of you please remember who I am and how much I love you. Please let me find a way. Severus sobbed.

Lily realizing the heartbreaking truth looked into those dark eyes she loved so much and said "Severus I'll always love you, but I'm a mudblood and we both know it. Voldermort will never allow us to be together." With that Lily stood and looked down on the crushed man she loved so dearly and walked away.

The next couple of weeks were hell, Severus and Lily barely talked and when they spoke it was in anger.

They both were angry and stressed, especially Lily. She was so distraught she couldn't keep anything down; she was growing pale and constantly exhausted.

On a chance meeting in the hallway Severus stopped Lily to once again beg her to let him fix this. Lily was so exhausted she didn't have the strength to argue with him. She let herself fall back into the wall and just looked up at him. That was when Severus noticed how dreadful she looked. Worried he asked "Lily, are you ill?"

She looked at him like he had lost his mind and replied "I'm just fine! Why wouldn't I be? The love of my life is a death eater in training and I'm his filthy mudblood girlfriend!"

Severus out of shock and sadness told her "Never say that about yourself ever again! You are mine and I don't give a damn about your blood status!"

Lily feeling sick looked up and said "You may not but your master does!" The argument had left Lily in worse shape than she was already in. The room began to spin then went dark. Lily had passed out.

Severus had never felt fear like this. He grabbed her up and ran her to Madam Pomfrey. He didn't care who seen him with her nor did he stop to answer any questions on the way. He felt anguish he had never known. He knew Lily's condition was his fault.

Upon entering the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey quickly took over asking Severus all kinds of questions some he was not sure how to answer. Madam Pomfrey when done questioning him asked him to please step out.

He looked her dead in the eyes and said "This is my fault and I will not leave her!"

Madam Pomfrey with all her years of knowledge seemed to understand what wasn't being said. She looked at him kindly and said "You may stay in the wing but I need you to step away for a few moments please."

Severus nodded and stepped away. He paced the floor for what seemed forever. When Madam Pomfrey emerged she called Severus to her. He quickly made his way to her. He could see deep concern in her face but she assured him Lily would be fine. She simply needed rest. Severus nodded and made his way to Lily's side where he would stay until she awoke.

Several hours later Severus was awakened to the gentle glide of fingers through his hair. He looked up to see those beautiful green eyes looking down at him. He felt like his heart would explode. How could someone as beautiful and pure as Lily Evans look at him like that after what he had done to her. He had let her down, most hurtfully he disappointed her, he had put their future at risk over a stupid mistake years ago. How could anyone much less her love him?  
He quickly sat up and asked how she was feeling.

Lily gently smiled and said "Much better, though I have no clue how I ended up here."

Severus put his head down and said "Its my fault. All of this is my fault. I did this to you."

Lily rolled her eyes, she wanted to be mad, she wanted to not love him but she couldn't turn off love. Despite his lack of judgment she loved him and he loved her. There was sure to be rumors flying all over school by now, there was no way for her to get to the hospital wing without him carrying her. The gossip mill would be in full swing.

About the time she started to question him further Madam Pomfrey approached along with McGonagall, Slughorn and Dumbledore. Lily looked at Severus terrified; Severus was giving her the same look. Madam Pomfrey asked how she was feeling. Lily replied that she was fine.

Reluctantly McGonagall spoke first "Miss Evans, Do you know why you became so ill?"

Lily shyly replied "I've been under a lot of stress lately." Lily knew she could not allow the teachers and the headmaster know of the relationship between herself and Severus.

Once again McGonagall spoke "Miss Evans, I'm afraid your condition was caused by more than stress."

Confused Lily asked what was wrong with her. McGonagall looked to Dumbledore begging him to take over this conversation.

Dumbledore walked over and sat at the foot of Lily's bed. He looked long and hard at Lily and Severus with a knowing look and said "I believe you two have some explaining to do!"

Severus was dumbfounded. How could Dumbledore possibly know? Severus trying to save the situation said "What on Earth would we need to explain?"

Dumbledore with a strange look of anger and mischievousness said "Please explain how Miss Evans is 6 weeks pregnant!" Lily let out a gasp and Severus went pale. Dumbledore chuckled and said "That's what I thought. Well we should leave these two to talk about things." As they turned to walk away Dumbledore turned to Severus and said "After you've had a few moments with Lily I wish to speak to you in my office."

Severus still unable to speak just nodded. Severus couldn't contemplate how when it seemed things couldn't get worse, they did. A baby! The last thing he wanted or needed at the moment. He was trying to figure out how to keep Lily with him and safe and now there's a baby to worry about! How could he of been so careless. He loved Lily and maybe someday wanted children but not now! If word got back to the Dark Lord that he had impregnated a muggle born he knew what his fate would be. The only fate befitting a blood traitor according to Voldermort. Death.

And his Lily, his beautiful sweet Lily, he knew her fate as well. They both would die if this news reached the Dark Lord. Lily could see the petrified look in Severus's face. She was unsure of how he felt about this child but she already loved this baby. She would do whatever she had to, to protect her child.

Finally not being able to stand the silence Lily said "Sev, are you ok?"

Severus not thinking said "No, I'm not! Do you know the wrath this child will bring?"

Lily was hurt to her core. How could he speak in such a manner about their child! Angry Lily looked at him in disgust and said "Then leave us be Severus! Leave both of us! We won't need you! Go on! Get out! Go run to your damn master and do his bidding! I wouldn't dare raise a child with a death eater anyways!"

Severus still confused and scared didn't know how to handle this. Out of fear he stood kissed Lily on the forehead told her he loved her and left the room.

Walking in a daze Severus finally remembered he was supposed to meet with Dumbledore. May as well get this over with he thought as he made his way to the headmasters office. He knocked on the door to Dumbledore's office, a place he had only had to visit on one other occasion. Dumbledore told him to come in. Severus slowly walked across the office and set across from Dumbledore, knowing he was about to get a train ticket home. He would be expelled and sent away from Lily and now their child.

Dumbledore looked up from his work clasped his hands and leaned back in his chair. After a moment he asked "How long have you and Lily been seeing each other?"

Severus knowing it would do no good lying to this man said "We started seeing each other over the summer."

Dumbledore nodded and asked and "What are your plans for Lily and this baby?"

Severus dropped his head. He had no answer for this question.

After a moment of silence Dumbledore spoke again "Severus let me be honest with you. I know about everything that goes on in this castle. I know of your activities away from here concerning Voldermort. I understand the great deal of danger you have put yourself, Miss Evans and now your child."

Severus's head shot up and he looked at Dumbledore eyes wide and shocked. Severus knew his next words must be chosen carefully. "Headmaster I'm sure you're mistaken."

"Ah, but I'm not!" replied Dumbledore. "I know of your visits to Malfoy Manor. I know what goes on there. My question to you young man is what is more important to you?"

Severus stunned with tears welling up in his eyes asked "Well sir, since you know my situation, what choices do I have?"

Dumbledore stood up and walked to the window, "Severus I will not pretend your choices are easy and will not come at a cost. We both know how Voldermort deals with those who attempt to leave his control. We also know how he feels about muggle borns. My boy, your options are limited. You can walk away from Miss Evans and this child and keep this a secret to the grave. Saving her and your child. You can try to barter with Voldermort for their lives but know, telling him your secret will place you in a position to be killed on the spot."

Dumbledore wasn't telling Severus anything he didn't already know. He knew he was facing certain death. Severus looking for reassurance asked "Headmaster do I have your word this won't get out until I can decide what to do?" Dumbledore assured him it would go no further than the few people who already knew. Severus stood to leave as he approached the door he turned back to Dumbledore who was now watching him "You know I've loved her from the moment I looked into her eyes. I will always love her."

Dumbledore tilted his head and said "Severus we all know that." And with that Severus left the office.


	3. Chapter 3

Severus knew there was only one person he could seek advice from, someone who had once angered the Dark Lord and lived. Lucius Malfoy. Severus knew he could go to Lucius because one drunken night Lucius had confided in Severus that he himself regretted his decision to join the death eaters. Severus knew Lucius would keep his secret because Severus had kept his.

Severus walked to Hogsmeade and apparated to Malfoy Manor. Lucius greeted him at the door and offered him some fire whiskey noticing his stressed demeanor. Severus gratefully accepted and followed him into the sitting room.

Lucius looked at him curiously and asked "Why the sudden visit?"

Severus still uneasy asked if they were alone. Lucius assured him they were. Severus let out a sigh and began "Lucius I need some help or at least advice. I have placed myself and someone dear to me in grave danger. I knew if anyone would understand it would be you. I apologize coming unannounced but time is not my friend."

Lucius a little stunned asked "What have you done?"

Severus still looking around to make sure they were alone finally spoke "Lucius I am in love with a muggle born and have just found out she is pregnant."

Lucius choked on his whiskey. He raised his eyebrows and said "Oh bloody hell Severus! Just what do you intend on doing?"

Severus downing his glass said "I have no idea. I know there's no chance of the Dark Lord letting me walk away to marry and muggle born, buy a house with a white picket fence and a dog! I have no damn clue what to do!"

Lucius poured their glasses full again and sat down he rubbed his chin as if trying to make an idea come to mind. Eventually he spoke "Severus do you love this girl?"

Severus replied "I love her more than life!"

Lucius shook his head and said "Well she very well may cost you that. Severus if you love her, make her hate you. Its the only way to save their lives. You must put as much distance between them and yourself as possible. No one should ever know who that child's father is. This is your only option. You must love them from a distance if you hope for all of you to live."

Severus felt defeated and heartbroken but he knew Lucius was right. Lily was his only reason to live and her safety meant more than anything. He knew the only way to keep them safe was to make her hate him. He knew that meant taking the dark mark. Its not what he wanted but it was what he must do. For tonight he would sit here and drown his sorrows in whiskey. He would begin breaking Lily's heart tomorrow.

Severus woke in the middle of the night in Lucius's chair. Still a little drunk he knew he must see her one last time before he started erasing her from his life. He knew she would still be in the hospital wing so he apparated back to Hogsmeade and ran all the way to the castle.

He was met at the door by Madam Pomfrey, she started to turn him away as he wasn't supposed to be out this time of night but she could see in his face he needed to be here. She looked at him and said "I'm going to the kitchen for a snack. I never seen you!"

Severus shook his head and said "Yes, ma'am". He walked softly to Lily's bed and quietly sat down beside her. She was so beautiful. He never deserved her. He never deserved her love much less her trust. He wished he could oblivate himself, for he knew the pain that was coming but decided his pain would be his punishment for being so damn stupid. One wrong choice had ruined his whole life. If Voldermort was never defeated he would spend his life loving a woman he could never be with and watch a child grow from a distance. So this is what hell feels like he thought.

He sat there for the longest stroking her hair softly, soaking in her scent, enjoying what few moments he had left before he made her hate him. Lily began to stir and he knew he must go. If she were to wake he didn't know if he would be able to go through with it. He found a scrap of parchment and wrote one simple word, "Always" , he gently placed it in her hand took one last look and left.

Lily was released the next morning from the hospital wing with instructions on how to better care for herself and the coming baby.

Lily was filled with joy and sadness. Dumbledore had come to her room that morning and explained what had happened with Severus and explained to her that it was an absolute must her condition be kept a secret. The words "Your lives depend on it!" still rang in her ears. How could Severus put us in this situation! How could he be so thoughtless! She was upset he wasn't there this morning but she shrugged it off as part of the secret they must keep.

As the days went on Severus acted as though she didn't exist, Lily noticed he had fell in with a group of suspected death eaters. When they passed in the hallways he had a smugness about him as he looked at her in disgust. She was crushed.

Almost every afternoon she went to the willow and cried, hoping Severus would come to comfort her or check on the baby. He never showed. Though her heart was broken she went about life, classes then visiting the willow. Eventually the tears were replaced by conversations to the baby.

One afternoon while basking in the sun she heard footsteps. Her heart raced thinking it was Severus she turned to see none other than James Potter. Immediately her face fell and he could see the anger in her face.

James put his hands up and chuckled. He said "I come in peace".

She could help but laugh. "What do you want Potter? Severus isn't here to torment!"

James looked down and said "I know. I came to talk to you."

Lily smirked and said "We have nothing to talk about."

James a little frustrated said "Lily I would really like to have a peaceful conversation with you."

Lily was in no mood to argue and was quite lonely. She finally agreed and James sat beside her. "So how have you been?" He asked.

Lily simply said "I've been better."

James asked "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Lily shook her head and said "No one can help me now."

James knew he was about to hit thin ice but it was now or never. "Lily what if I told you I can help you?"

Lily laughed again and said "And just what do you know of my problems Mr. Potter?"

James dared to say "I know Snape got you pregnant and ran off with his death eater buddies!"

Lily shocked said "Who told you that!"

James turned red and said "I must confess after I noticed you two weren't glued to each other I started watching you. I noticed you come here often and always alone crying. I followed you down here several afternoons and I heard you talking to the baby."

Lily was livid "James Potter! You had no right to do that! You and that damn cloak! Who have you told?"

James putting his hands up again told her "I swear Lily I haven't told a soul. I wouldn't betray you like that. You're in a sorry enough place because of that bastard Snape, I wouldn't dare add to it."

Lily wasn't quite sure what to say. She still loved Severus but how could she defend him against the truth. He had gotten her pregnant and left her alone. He had made his choice. Voldermort was more important than her and the baby. Lily was still confused by James. He had always been such an ass! Why should he care? Was he here to gloat? Finally Lily asked "So why are you here Potter? Why do you care what happens to me? Are you here to rub it in my face that I was so foolish?"

James shaking his head said No, No Lily you are misunderstanding me. I'm here because I care about you. I have never made a secret of the fact I wanted you for my own. I've always wanted you. You need me and I want you, baby and all! I know you don't love me, hell you probably don't like me but I wish you'd give me a chance to be there for you."

Lily was speechless. This man she'd always looked at like a pompous ass was offering to be with her. Offering to help with the child Severus walked away from. Was it a cruel trick? Could she trust him? "James if this is one of your cruel tricks I really don't need this!"

James looked hurt but he understood his past behavior had left her with mistrust toward him. He knew exactly how to earn her trust. "Lily I know your secret, what if I show you mine? Would you trust me then?"

Lily still reluctant said "Depends on how good your secret is I guess."

James stood up and looked around to be sure they were alone, then looked at Lily and said please don't be scared. Before Lily's eyes James Potter turned himself into the most beautiful stag she had ever seen. He turned a few circles then walked over to her. She reached up and touched the muzzle of the stag. The stag gently moved her hand to the side of his face and met eyes with her. He slowly backed away and transformed back into James Potter.

James looked at her and said "Well is being an unregistered animagus good enough to earn your trust?"

Lily sat there with her mouth still open in shock and finally started laughing. It felt good to laugh. She hadn't laughed in weeks; she never thought James Potter would be the one to start mending her broken heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Severus felt like he was locked in his own personal hell. He knew he could not speak to Lily though he longed to just be near her. His despair was driving him insane. He knew of all the afternoons she had sat at their willow and cried. No doubt crying over him, over the loss of what could have been, her fear of being a single parent. It tore his heart apart to see it and do nothing to comfort her but he could not risk being associated with her. He had noticed her new placement in the dining hall. She had found a place next to that smug bastard James Potter and was quickly becoming friends with his crew. There she sat with him and his disgusting friends while his child grew within her.

How had she came to befriend him? Did he know she was carrying his child? No he couldn't know, if he knew he'd never be seen with the likes of her. She knew she could tell no one their secret. Potter was simply looking to put the next notch on his belt. Severus could never allow Lily to become nothing more than a Potter triumph. Somehow he must break up this friendship. He must find a way to speak to her. To warn her.

The next morning Severus sent an owl to Lily with the morning mail. He watched as the letter was dropped in front of her. She didn't open in. She slid it in a book and excused herself leaving the dining hall.

Lily knew the moment the letter that was dropped in front of her it was from Severus. She so much wanted to open it hoping he had found a solution to their problem but in her heart she knew it was probably about the company she had been keeping.

Who did Severus think he was telling her who she could befriend! He left her and the baby for the death eaters! James was far from perfect but he willing came to her, to comfort her, to accept and love what Severus had walked away from. No Severus Snape will not control me. He left me when I needed him the most. He deserves nothing more of me, not my time, my loyalty or my love. I must learn to love another.

Lily tried for hours to throw the letter into the fire. The only thing that stopped her was a small piece of parchment with the word "Always" written on it. Always huh? What a joke... Lily finally gave in and opened the letter. It read simply:

"Meet me at the willow at 8. SS".

Great! Now I must decide to go or not she thought. She paced the common room until 7:45. James and Sirius laughed saying she was going to walk a hole in the floor.

By this time she had learned of the marauders secret and asked if Sirius would take a walk with her. He gladly agreed, he himself had grown very fond of her. Before they got outside she asked if he would change forms and just watch from a distance. "If I need you I'll whistle. Ok?" Sirius didn't understand but agreed.

Lily walked down to the willow and waited. Severus showed up right on time. Before he ever reached her she asked "What could you possibly want after all this time?"

Severus feeling quite jealous asked "So what's the deal with you and Potter?"

Lily smirked and said "What the hell does it matter to you? You left us remember!"

Severus enraged barked "That filthy swine will not claim nor raise my child!"

Lily scoffed "You don't have a child Severus! You may have given some of your genes but you shall never be a father. You gave all that up for Voldermort!"

Severus could only see red "After everything that bastard has done you think he's more fit than I to be called father?"

Lily with no expression said "Yes, I do! He was there when you weren't. Nothing was more important to him than me and this child! We both know as long as Voldermort lives you'll never see this child anyways. I shall give him a father that can always be there to love him, not one who comes when its convenient. Don't ever forget Severus Snape, you turned your back on us! I see you with those death eaters! You have chosen your life. We aren't a part of it, not now not ever!"

Lily's words were harsh but true. He had chosen the Dark Lord but only to save her. "Lily are you telling me if Voldermort were to fall tonight you wouldn't have me tomorrow? The boy you grew up with? The person who has been your best friend, lover and father to your child? You would still turn me away if all of this were over tomorrow?"

Lily with a cold look in her face "Severus those people don't exist anymore. You have sold your soul to Voldermort. And as I said you have no child! If you brought me here to only question me about James Potter this meeting is over!"

Severus pleading one more time "Lily does it matter that I haven't taken his mark yet?"

Lily turned to look at him "One simply doesn't walk away from the Dark Lord, and you're not a branded man YET! Isn't that what you told me Severus?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I said Lily. So I guess this is goodbye then?"

Lily nodded her head and said "Yes Severus this is goodbye. Please leave us be." With that they parted ways.

Sirius met Lily at the top of the hill, she patted his head and told him it was ok to transfigure. Back in his human form he asked if she was ok. Lily stopped and looked at Sirius and said "Not right now but I will be. Thank you for coming with me Sirius."

Sirius knew Lily needed a friend and stopped her asking her to sit by on a nearby bench. Lily put her head down as tears began to run down her cheeks. Sirius squatted down in front of her placing his finger under her chin and bringing her head up to meet his gaze. He wiped her tears away and said "Lily I know something is weighing on your heart. I can see you need to talk. Lily whatever it is I'm here to listen."

Lily did need to talk. James had been so good to her but she didn't feel like she could talk freely of her pain and fear. She patted the bench next to her and said "You might want to sit, we could be here awhile." Sirius grinned at her and took the place next to her.

"Sirius can I trust you with a secret that you can never tell a soul. You can't even let James know that I've told you."

Sirius chuckled and said "Well I have trusted you with my biggest secret. I know you think my loyalty is solely with James but it is not. I have grown to care about you greatly and whatever you need I will be here for you."

Lily felt relieved and told the twisted tale of her and Severus. Sirius listened intently his face and body would tense during moments he knew caused Lily great pain. When Lily told of the baby, the risk of Voldermort killing them and Severus walking away from them, it took everything Sirius had not to jump up and go kill Severus!

Sirius had never cared for Severus but what kind of coward puts an innocent woman in such a predicament? When Lily was done telling her woes Sirius stood grabbed her hands and pulled her into his arms, he hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear "You and your child will never be alone, not as long as there is breath in my body."

Lily wasn't sure why she had trusted Sirius with this problem of hers but she felt she could tell him the whole truth, not like with James. With James she felt like all she could do is smile and pretend all was fine. Sirius was different, she felt like he really cared about her feelings and wants. He understood her heartbreak.

They stood there embracing each other for the longest time; it felt natural to be in Sirius's arms. With James it was forced and awkward. Sirius finally let her go and took her hand and smiled at her he said "Its getting quite chilly; we need to get you back inside if you feel you're ready to go back."

Lily didn't really want to go back inside but knew it was best. They made their way into the common room. James was still up. He looked from Lily to Sirius as if to ask what took so long. Sirius ever the hero said "We went for a stroll under the moonlight. It was my fault we were gone so long. I miss being able to stroll around freely at night."

James shot Sirius a look of anger. Lily wasn't sure if it was because they had been gone so long or Sirius's reference to Remus's "furry problem". Either way Lily excused herself and went to bed. James and Sirius remained in the common room.

When Lily was sure to be out of ear shot James asked "So what did you two talk about for so long?"

Sirius grinned and replied "The weather."

James was angry "I know damn well you didn't talk about the weather for an hour and a half!"

Sirius unfazed by James anger "I was quizzing her about muggles. You know I'm way behind in muggle studies."

James was livid by now "Dammit Sirius why are you lying to me?"

Sirius was getting a little aggravated "James do you think Lily belongs to you? Do you really think that girl can't talk to anyone but you?"

James was feeling betrayed "Sirius, don't you dare! You don't know what I know about Lily Evans!"

Sirius finished with this conversation looked at James and simply said "I know enough. I'm going to bed James."

The next morning Lily could feel the tension between James and Sirius. She felt awful, she had never meant to cause a riff between them. She knew what James wanted, he wanted to marry her the day after graduation, claim Severus's child as his own and them live happily ever after. Lily wanted that life too but she didn't know if she could ever bring herself to love James as a wife should. She cared greatly for him but she didn't love him, not like that. At this moment she only loved her child, one day she may be able to love another man but it wouldn't be anytime soon.

The next few days she found herself spending a lot of time with both James and Sirius but rarely together. When they were all together there seemed to be great tension in the room.

Remus was often around but always remained quiet. Remus was the one observing everyone. He had always been the quietest and most passive of the marauders. Lily often looked over to him to try to bring him into a conversation he would always just give her a sad smile.

Lily felt like Remus was a kindred spirit, in need of a friend. One afternoon while James and Sirius were having a pointless argument she walked over to Remus and asked him to escort her to the grounds. He looked at her confused and full of fear. She smiled sweetly and said "Remus its 5 o'clock in the afternoon I'll have you back before dark. I promise!"

He looked to Sirius and James, James said nothing and Sirius just laughed and said "She don't bite, at least not hard anyways."

Remus chuckled and said "Well I feel much safer now!" Remus stood and Lily put her arm inside his and they strolled off.

They walked in silence until they reached the lake; Lily sat on the ground near the water and patted the place next to her. Remus sat and looked across the lake; he always wore such a sad expression. "Remus, talk to me. The three of you have adopted me, you all look after me, go steal food from the kitchen for me at 2 a.m., and the least I can do is be there when you need me. I can see in your face you're lonely. I know that look. I wore it for weeks."

Remus knew Lily had him backed into a corner. He rarely spoke of his troubles; he felt like a burden to his friends, it was because of him they had learned to become unregistered animagus. They had risked a lot to help him with his "furry problem" as they liked to call it. Yes, they had accepted him and helped him through many full moons therefore he felt like that was all he could ask of them. They had already given him more than he'd ever hoped to have, friendship.

Then here sat Lily, dear sweet Lily, she had no clue the effect she had on people. She had no clue why James and Sirius were suddenly at odds. She had no clue that both men were madly in love with her and that eventually their merry circle would be torn. No, she had no clue and for now she didn't need one.

"Remus!" Lily shouted.

Remus realizing he had been setting there in a daze replied "I'm sorry Lily, I was thinking."

"Well what were you so deep in thought about then?" Lily questioned.

Remus gave her a half smile and said "I'm wondering why such a lovely girl would want to be seen with the likes of me."

Lily rolled her eyes and said "Seriously Remus! You're too hard on yourself, and I know your lying. Something's bothering you. Can you not trust me?"

"Lily, I trust you wholeheartedly. That's not the problem. I'm already a burden to so many. Who am I to complain? I have far more than I deserve."

"Remus Lupin! You cannot help what happened to you. You were just a boy. You didn't ask for this life nor did you make the choice to have to live it. You deserve everything the rest of us do. You are no less human nor wizard because you're a werewolf!" Lily stated matter of factly.

Remus was taken aback no one besides James and Sirius had ever spoken to him in such a kindly manner. "Lily do you realize what I turn into when the moon is full?" Remus asked.

Lily replied "I've never seen you under a full moon but I like to imagine the three of you in the shrieking shack, you as a giant dog, Sirius and a smaller dog and James as a stag sitting around a table drinking fire whiskey from dog bowls and sniffing each others butt!"

Remus fell over from laughter, he laughed until tears ran down his cheeks. He looked up at Lily with a true smile and said "Thank you Lily, I haven't laughed like that in forever."

Lily still giggling asked "Well was I right?" They both started laughing again. When the laughter died down Lily looked at Remus still wearing a true smile and said "Your much more handsome and younger looking when you're happy."

Remus turned red and said "Thank you! There may be hope for me yet."

Lily smiled and told Remus "There is always hope Remus, I'm sure one day controlling your condition will be as simple as taking a potion. Until then you have us, and quite frankly I like this Remus much better!"

Remus felt like a huge burden had been lifted off of him. He now understood why Lily was so loved. She only seen the best in people. "Lily I will do my best to try to find more happiness, if only for you, as long as you promise not to tell that we drink whiskey from dog bowls." Remus said with a chuckle.

Lily pretending to pout said "Fine then! But at least I know what to buy you for Christmas!"

Remus noticed the sun fading and suggested they head back. They walked back arm and arm engaged in light conversation.

When they reached the fat lady Lily tugged on Remus's arm to stop him. She had a serious look on her face "Remus, I'll always be here for you when you need a laugh or a friend. You understand you're not alone right?"

Remus nodded and replied "Yes I know this now and thank you again Lily. I needed today. I needed to be reminded that life isn't over. Should you ever need anything just call on me." Remus gave the password and walked them into the common room.

James and Sirius were in a heated argument.

"Dammit James you don't always get what you want!" Sirius yelled.

"I sure as hell won't as long as you're around, you thieving bastard" James shot back.

"I haven't stolen anything from you, you arrogant ass! She's not yours to be stolen!" Sirius retorted.

"Enough!" screamed Remus.

James and Sirius both looked at Remus then to Lily. "Come Lily let me walk you to your staircase." Remus offered. Lily took his hand and followed her head down the whole way. She didn't dare look at either of them. When they reached the staircase Lily looked at Remus with tears in her eyes and asked "Are they fighting over me?"

Remus didn't want to answer. He didn't want to tell her the truth but he would not lie to her. Remus looked at her and smiled and said "Don't worry about those prats; I'll have them sorted out quickly. Goodnight Lily and thank you again."

Lily knew that was the best answer she would get. She told Remus goodnight and walked to her room.

Remus flew back to the common room where James and Sirius were both fuming. Remus was angry; he lit into both of them. "Look here you two idiots! That woman has been through enough! She has had her heart broken and left with a child that could cost her, her life! You two damn idiots in here fighting over something that doesn't belong to either of you! The best thing to do is stop this nonsense until she has had time to heal! She doesn't need jealous morons fighting over her! She needs friends! The two of you need to face the fact that she may never love either of you! If you can't be just her friend and let her chose then stay the hell away from her!"

James sat silent.

Sirius looked at Remus and said "What the hell did she do to you? That's the most I've ever heard you speak in one sentence Moony!"

Remus shook his head looked up at Sirius and said "She gave me hope and made me laugh."

Sirius walked over and patted Remus on the back and said "She's a hell of a girl."

"Yes she is. Now if you morons will remember tomorrow is a full moon." Remus replied.

Sirius said "Ah yes, time to dance in the moonlight again. We should bring Lily along this time."

Remus rolled his eyes and said "I'm off to bed. You two prats behave!"


	5. Chapter 5

Severus once again found himself at the door of Malfoy Manor. This has been his refuge since the night Lily left no doubt that she would never be with him again. He came here nightly to drown his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. Lucius had listened to his troubles for all these nights and never let his glass get empty. It would be the same this night, as Severus knocked on the door, Lucius answered with the same pitiful look.

Severus entered the manor and said "Lucius I don't come here for pity."

Lucius smirked and said "Then why do I find you on my door every night and in my chair every morning?"

Severus said "Because you have the best whiskey"

Lucius laughed and replied "Yes and your tab is getting rather high. Severus is your plan to drink yourself to death?"

"I have no plan, I have no purpose and nothing else works." Severus answered.

"Bloody hell Severus! Yes you've lost a lot but life isn't over! You're going to have to sober up soon and get with the program. I can't keep nurse maiding you. You have very little time to make a decision. Not that you really have a choice but your childhood pass is almost over. Its time to take the mark or pay the price." Lucius spat at him.

Severus knew it was true there was no way of getting around it much longer. It didn't really matter so much now his future had no other option, Lily was done with him. He had succeeded in making her hate him. She was gone from his life. All he had now was his future as a death eater. Servant to the Dark Lord.

The only thing that hurt worse than losing Lily was knowing that his child would call Potter "daddy". The thought of it made him sick and angry. He hated Potter. He had often thought of hurting him even killing him just to keep Lily and his child away from the arrogant bastard. Severus had even invented his own spell to do just that.

"Severus which bottle will you be drinking tonight?" asked Lucius.

"The strongest one." replied Severus.

Lucius raised a brow and handed Severus the bottle. "I'm not running myself to death tonight, just drink from the bottle."

Severus lifted the bottle as to toast Lucius and said "Fine by me."

As Severus and Lucius sat drinking and talking they heard a loud pop. Someone had apparated into the house. From the front room a cold voice called Lucius. They both knew the voice; only one man had a voice that cold and calculated. Voldermort is here.

Lucius rose quickly and made his way to where Voldermort stood, bowing and saying "Welcome, my Lord."

"Lucius you have company. Am I interrupting?" Sneered Voldermort.

"No, my Lord it is only Severus Snape." Replied Lucius.

"Severus is here? How wonderful! I shall speak with him." Voldermort hissed. Voldermort made his way into the library where Lucius and Severus had been drinking moments before.

As Voldermort entered Severus stood, bowed and said "My Lord".

Voldermort looked Severus over and glared at him "Trying to drown your problems I see. If you would take my mark and your place in my circle you would not have these problems. Severus I know of your talents. If only you would be a good and faithful servant you will raise through the ranks quickly. You will have more money, fame and power than you can possibly imagine. Yes I can give you all that. Only when you decide you will join me will you get your rewards. You will be untouchable. There is no curse you cannot use, no more fear, no more loneliness and you can bring wrath to those who have wronged you. The moment you take my mark all these things are yours Severus. All you must do is ask."

Severus was intimidated by the Dark Lord but so intrigued by his promises. If I take his mark I can kill Potter and never spend a night in Azkaban. If I take his mark and kill Potter it will probably gain me favor. If I take his mark I can bring my wrath.

These were the thoughts in Severus's drunken mind when he uttered the words "My Lord may I pleased receive your mark?"

The next words Severus heard were "Yes you may my faithful servant." Followed by a searing pain in his forearm. When Severus opened his eyes he seen Voldermort smiling that evil smile, he looked down to see the still burning brand. He had done it, he was a death eater.

Voldermort said "Welcome to my circle, my faithful servant. Lucius you fill him in on the details. Oh, and Lucius, Bellatrix will be stopping by later." With a loud pop Voldermort was gone.

Lucius shaking his head said "You know what this means now? He will always know where you are. He can summon you at any time and you must do whatever he asks without question."

"Yes Lucius I'm aware of what I've done. It hit me about the time the brand did!" Severus replied.

"Well let's celebrate I guess, you've already opened that bottle." Lucius said reluctantly. Severus and Lucius finished that bottle and Severus had opened another one when the loud pop came again.

Lucius looked at Severus and said "You need to go. Take the bottle with you."

Severus already drunk nodded and with his bottle apparated to Hogsmeade. He stumbled his way to the edge of the forest, sat with his back against a tree facing their willow.

No, it wasn't theirs anymore. There was no they anymore, it was just him and this damn mark. Severus sat there drinking Lucius's whiskey for quite some time. He was staring at the willow he didn't know if it was his drunkenness or if they were really there. Then he heard it. That name! That damn name that helped ruin his life! The name that had first told Lily his secret. The name that planned on raising his child. He heard it alright. Potter!

"James I'm going to get her. She'll be fine! Remus will be out for hours. I soaked that steak in sleep draught all day." Sirius exclaimed.

"Its not a good idea Sirius! We've never given it to him before. We don't know how long it will last!" James shot back.

"He's still human James. She needs some fun! Well both be here should anything go wrong." With that Sirius started marching toward the castle.

"Damn idiot." muttered James.

Sirius made his way to the common room where Lily was sitting by the fire in a beautiful flowing white dress. Sirius smiled to himself thinking about how beautiful she looked. He stalked around the sofa where Lily had her head buried in a book. Sirius stood in front of her and cleared his throat, when Lily looked up he bowed put his hand out and said "My lady. Shall I escort you?"

Lily laughed placed her hand in his, stood and said "Yes sir you may. "

Gesturing toward the door Sirius said "This way madam."

Lily still trying to play Sirius's game asked "And where will we be spending this pleasant evening?"

"Ah, yes my lovely lady. I have planned a splendid evening for you! We shall dine in the finest of accommodations. We shall drink the finest whiskey from handcrafted dog bowls. Then we shall entertain ourselves with rounds of ass sniffing!" Sirius answered with a wink.

Lily's face turned red and said "I cant believe he told you that! I'm going to kill him!"

Sirius just laughed and said "I fell out of the chair laughing when he told me. I couldn't believe my sweet Lily would say such things!"

"I'm sorry Sirius. I was just trying to make him laugh." Lily said meekly.

"Lily don't you dare apologize! We all need a laugh sometimes and personally I like a woman with a twisted sense of humor." Sirius said with a smile.

Lily knew Sirius was flirting now and she kind of liked it. He was much more interesting than James. He was fun and exciting, James was dry and boring. She liked Sirius but she knew she had far too much to deal with before she could think of dating. Not to mention the problems it would cause should she ever chose Sirius over James. "So where are we really going Sirius?" Lily asked.

"Dancing in the moonlight!" Sirius answered.

"Just us?" asked Lily.

"No my dear, James will be with us. We have to stay close to Remus." Sirius said pointing to the moon.

"Oh! Will it be safe?" Lily questioned.

Sirius stopped walking and turned Lily to face him "Lily I would never intentionally put you in harms way. I care deeply for you and would lay my life down to protect you and the little squirt, but if you don't feel safe I will gladly take you back to the castle. The choice is yours sweetheart."

Lily was a little afraid but she wanted out of that castle so badly. Sirius must have sensed it or he wouldn't have came after her. "Where is Remus?" Lily asked.

"Remus is taking a long nap thanks to a raw steak and a lot of sleeping draught. I thought he could sleep through this moon." Sirius answered with a mischievous grin.

"So were going to Hogsmeade?" Lily asked.

Sirius laughed and said "You do realize you're in the company of a marauder! We have many secrets. One being that, the willow tree you love so much has an entry way to the shack. No we wont be going to Hogsmeade. Just to the willow."

Lily felt relieved "Well sir that changes everything! Off we go!" Lily said giving the wink this time.

Sirius's face lit up and they continued to the willow. Upon arriving Lily could see the anger in James face. He was livid she was there.

Lily trying to lighten the mood conjured two dog bowls and a bottle of whiskey. She looked at Sirius, winked and said "Tonights on me boys!"

James couldn't help but laugh. "I see your making this a running joke Miss Evans!" James said shaking his head.

Lily put her hand on her hip and stated "I brought the party favors but I'm not sniffing either of you!" That brought a roar of laughter and broke the tension.

James told them he had just checked on Remus who was still sleeping soundly. They sat for a while talking of things of no great importance, mostly making fun of each other.

When the conversation died down Sirius stood up and offered his hand to Lily. He smiled down at her and said "I promised you a dance under a full moon." Lily took his hand and they danced gracefully around and around the willow.

"Sirius who taught you to dance like a muggle?" Lily still shocked by his skill.

"Lily I come from a wealthy, snobbish family it was required of me as a child." Sirius said with a disturbed look.

"Well the snobs taught you well then!" Lily replied.

James was sulking by the tree. He knew he could never compete with Sirius not when it came to a woman. Sirius had decided he wanted Lily so he had no chance in hell. He watched Lily dance with Sirius in her beautiful flowing gown. The moon made the white even brighter. She was glowing, inside and out. She seemed happy. Sirius would be good to her and he had plenty of means to take care of her. James had accepted he had lost but he couldn't stand to watch it anymore, at least not tonight. James stood looked at the two of them, they were smiling and happy. Maybe one day I'll be happy for them. With that thought James turned to leave.

Sirius had just threw Lily into a spin when in the corner of his eye he seen James walking off. "Potter!" Sirius called. James didn't look back. "Potter!" Sirius called louder.

Then Sirius seen James hit the ground. Confused he looked to Lily, Lily's face was ashen, and she wasn't speaking he looked down to where she was clutching her stomach. The white gown was covered in blood. "Lily! Lily say something!" Sirius screamed.

Sirius needed help and quick, he sent a message to Dumbledore through his patronus. He sat with Lily in his lap begging her to talk. He knew James needed help as well but he couldn't leave Lily. Dumbledore will be here soon, he always stays awake on full moons thought Sirius.

Sirius held Lily and continued to scream at James. Neither of them answering him. I cant lose them both Please! NO! Let this be a bad dream! Sirius screamed it in the air. "Lily please open your eyes! James! Answer me!" Sirius had never felt so helpless or scared.

Drunkenly pointing his wand at Potter, Severus full of rage and hate, said the words that would alter his life. "Sectumsempra." He watched Potter hit the ground; he felt a mixture of joy and disgust.

He had brought his wrath upon Potter and it felt good but wrong at the same time. He'll probably live thought Severus. Its not a killing curse necessarily. His idiots friends are with him, they'll save him, he'll just have a nasty scar.

Severus started to walk away when he heard the word that made his blood run cold. "Lily!" No! Lily wasn't supposed to be with them! Lily should be in the castle.

Severus ran back to the edge of the woods. He fell to his knees as he took a more sober look he seen Lily lying on the ground in Sirius's lap. Sirius was frantically screaming. Severus squinted hard to see them better. His heart fell when he seen Lily's beautiful white gown growing red.

He couldn't breathe. What have I done?! I hit Potter I seen him fall! How could I have hit Lily too? This cant be! thought Severus. Severus stood to run to Lily but stopped when he seen Dumbledore arrive. They'll kill me he thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Dumbledore arrived within seconds of getting Sirius's patronus. He was the only person who could apparate inside Hogwarts grounds. "Sirius, what happened?" Dumbledore demanded.

Sirius frantic said "I don't know! Just please help me! Help me save them!"

Dumbledore ran to James and checked for a pulse. "He's still alive! What about her?"

"Yes she's alive but she's very weak!" Sirius informed Dumbledore.

"I've got him, bring her over here!" Dumbledore ordered. Sirius stood with the lifeless Lily and met Dumbledore. "Ok son, I'm going to apparate all of us to St. Mungos. Dont let go of me or her! Do you understand Sirius?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Yes sir, please lets go quickly!" Sirius begged. With a loud pop they appeared inside St. Mungos hospital.

The hospital staff took no time taking James and Lily from Dumbledore and Sirius. As the nurse started to leave with Lily, Sirius yelled at the nurse who was several feet from him "She's pregnant!" The nurse looked back and nodded to show she had heard him and kept going.

Sirius fell to the ground, he looked at his hands that were covered in Lily's blood, he screamed "No!" and began to sob uncontrollably.

Dumbledore placed his hands on Sirius's back and let him sob for a few moments then told him. "Come with me Sirius." Sirius was in a daze and let Dumbledore lead him. Dumbledore lead them into a nearby waiting room. He sat Sirius in a chair and gave him a moment to compose himself.

After Dumbledore thought enough time had passed he asked Sirius did "Remus do this?"

Sirius's head shot up and said "No! This was not Remus! Remus is asleep in the shack! I fed him a steak full of sleeping draught! Have someone check. He's been out for hours!"

"I believe you Sirius. Do you know who did this?" Dumbledore asked.

"I have no idea but when I find out I'm killing the bastard!" Sirius retorted.

"Calm down Sirius, we will find out who did this and they will be punished. We can't have you sent to Azkaban! James and Lily need you here." Dumbledore said softly.

Sirius couldn't stand the waiting, he was pacing the floor, he couldn't think of a life without Lily or James.

Dumbledore sat quietly and watched Sirius.

Hagrid peered inside and quietly asked "Professor can I come in for a moment?"

Dumbledore nodded and asked "Did you find anything?"

Hagrid shook his head and said "Only this sir." holding out a very expensive bottle of whiskey "I found this at the edge of the woods."

Dumbledore took the bottle and examined it."Take this back with you, please put it in my office."

Hagrid nodded and turned to leave then stopped and spoke to Sirius "I checked on Remus for you. He's still asleep. When he wakes up I'll tell him where you are."

Sirius finally stopped his pacing and said "Thank you Hagrid."

Hagrid said "You're welcome. Sirius, please... please tell Lily... well just tell her I stopped by." Hagrid walked out sniffling.

Sirius was becoming agitated "Why aren't they telling us anything?" he said rather loudly.

"Sirius they are doing all they can. They will let us know something as soon as possible." Dumbledore said placing his hand on Sirius's back.

The sun was rising. There was still no word on either Lily nor James. Sirius and Dumbledore were sitting in silence when Remus walked in. "How are they?" Remus looking frantic at both men.

"We have no damn clue! No one will tell us anything!" Sirius shouted for the staff outside to hear.

"Who would do this?" Remus questioned sitting beside Sirius.

Dumbledore looked to Remus and said "The only clue we have found was a nearly empty bottle of whiskey found at the edge of the forest."

Sirius put his head in his hands and began to sob "This is all my fault! I took her out there. I should have listened to James."

Remus patted Sirius's back "Sirius this isn't your fault. You couldn't have known someone would attack them."

"You don't understand! I promised her she would be safe! I promised her and I didn't protect her!" Sirius spat angry at himself.

Remus looked to Dumbledore looking for guidance. Dumbledore shook his head with a sad look as to say leave him be. The three men sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

A tall healer walked into the waiting room and asked "Are you the family of James Potter or Lily Evans?"

All three of them replied "Yes!" and stood.

The healer took a deep breath and said "James is in stable condition. We aren't certain how he received his injury but he has a gash on his back from his left lower back to his right shoulder. It is a clean cut much like you would see from a knife or sword. His wounds are not very deep and he should be able to go home in a day or two."

The three of them let out a sigh of relief. "What about Lily?" Sirius asked.

The healer looked rather distraught and asked "Are you the father of her child?"

Without thinking Sirius said "Yes."

The healer looked to Dumbledore then to Sirius and said "Sir you may want to sit down."

"Just tell me dammit! Are they ok?" Sirius said loudly.

The healer with a pitiful look said "I'm sorry sir but we couldn't save the baby. Miss Evans was injured much like Mr. Potter; she had a deep gash diagonally across her abdomen. The baby had passed before she arrived. Miss Evans will recover but I'm afraid she will never be able to have children. I am deeply sorry for your loss sir."

Sirius felt sick "She will never forgive me! I did this to her! I let her child be killed after I promised her. It should have been me!"

Remus pulled Sirius into a tight hug and whispered "This is not your fault. We will find the bastard who did this to our Lily and kill him."

The healer turned to leave, Dumbledore stopped him "Sir, May I ask why you're holding Mr. Potter if his injuries are minor?"

"We are having a hard time getting the wounds to close. Whatever caused this is dark magic. We have never seen this particular injury before." answered the healer. With a nod the healer left the room.

"Dark Magic?" said Dumbledore confused.

Dumbledore sat in his office looking at the bottle Hagrid had left on his desk. It was expensive, not the cheap kind that was often found in the possession of rebellious teenagers. Dalmore was a rich mans whiskey. There was only one way a bottle such as this would end up on Hogwarts grounds. Dumbledore had a feeling he knew where this bottle came from and who brought it here. With a loud pop Dumbledore was standing at the door of Malfoy Manor, he knocked and was greeted by the house elf. "Well hello Dobby!" Dumbledore greeted him.

"Good day sir, please come in. I will fetch master." replied Dobby. Dobby ran into the library where Lucius and Severus were sitting. "Master you have a visitor." Dobby said timidly.

"Who is it Dobby?" Lucius said impatiently.

"Master it is Albus Dumbledore." Dobby replied with his head down.

"Go tell him I'll be out momentarily." Lucius said eyeing Severus. When Dobby left the room Lucius looked to Severus and said "Why the hell would Albus come here Severus?"

"I assume he has come for me. He knows I come here. After what I did last night I'm sure he's come to take me to Azkaban." Severus replied with his head in his hands.

Lucius stood he looked at Severus with pure anger and said "Pull yourself together! No one must know what you did! If this gets out you'll wish your only punishment was Azkaban! Keep your mouth shut and your sleeves down! You were here all night! Do you understand?"

"I got it Lucius. Whats the worst they can do? I already wish I were dead!" Severus said with distain toward himself.

Lucius sneered at Severus and walked toward the front room. "Well hello Albus! What do I owe this pleasure to?" asked Lucius.

"Hello Lucius. It has been a while hasn't it. I think one of my lost sheep may be in your company." stated Dumbledore.

"Last I checked we don't keep farm animals here at the manor." Lucius replied.

"Then let me get to the point Lucius. Is Severus Snape here?" Dumbledore asked pointedly.

"Ah, you're looking for Snape. Yes, he's here. I'm afraid he had a little too much to drink last night. He's sleeping it off." Lucius said nonchalantly.

"Can you go wake him? It is very important I speak with him." Dumbledore asked.

"Dobby!" Lucius yelled.

"Yes master" Dobby replied.

"Go fetch Snape!" Lucius demanded.

Severus took a deep breath and walked toward the front room. He felt like he was taking a death walk. "Hello Headmaster. I apologize for not returning to school last night." Severus said with his head down. He couldn't look up; if he were to look up he would confess his crime.

Dumbledore placed his hand on Severus shoulder and said "Severus I need to talk with you privately. Will you come with me?"

Severus knew by the kind gesture he wasn't off to Azkaban but he knew something was very wrong. "Yes, sir" Severus replied.

Dumbledore took Severus to a park not far from St. Mungos. Severus didn't understand the strange location for their talk. "Severus something awful happened last night. Would you know anything about the events of this past evening?" Dumbledore asked looking intently at Severus.

"No Headmaster. I left the grounds shortly before dark. I went to the Malfoys to talk to Lucius and ended up getting rather drunk. I woke up there this morning." Severus only telling a half truth.

"Severus would you know anything about a rather expensive bottle of whiskey being found on the grounds?" Dumbledore asked seeing if Severus would lie.

"Yes, sir. It is mine; I have done a lot of drinking the last few weeks to deal with the loss of Lily and the baby. Much of it has been at the expense of Lucius." Severus still not telling the whole truth. It was killing Severus he had to know how badly he had hurt Lily. He knew somehow he had hit her and James Potter both with the same spell even though he had no clue how. He had lied to himself all night telling himself it didn't really happen. When Dumbledore showed up at Malfoy Manor this morning he knew it wasn't a nightmare. He had hurt Lily and he was wishing death upon himself every minute since.

"Severus I must delivery some very sad news. I'm afraid Lily and James Potter were both hit with an unknown spell. They both will recover"

"She's ok! She'll be fine then? She wasn't hurt badly?" Severus interrupted.

"Yes, she will be just fine but I'm afraid the baby was killed" Dumbledore said sadly.

"The baby... the baby... is gone?" Severus asked with his voice quivering.

"I'm sorry Severus; there was nothing they could do. The healers said the baby passed before we ever reached St. Mungos. Lily will heal but she has been left barren from the injury. It was rather deep." Dumbledore told him sadly.

Severus put his head in his hands and sobbed loudly.

"Severus the spell that was cast at them was of dark magic. If you should know of who might have done this I urge you to tell me." Dumbledore spoke gently but demanding.

Severus looked at Dumbledore, he wanted to admit what he had done in his drunken rage fit but he knew of Lucius's warning. Azkaban was a vacation compared to the wrath of Voldermort. No he couldn't admit it, admitting it would link Lily back to him and put her in the sights of Voldermort. This was a secret he must take to the grave. If there was any justice in the world he would find death soon.

"Headmaster, Lily is very angry with me by my own hand. It was my only option in keeping her safe. I wish to see her, to comfort her, to cry and mourn with her but you know this isn't possible. I can't go to her if I'm to keep her safe." Severus barely managing the words.

"I know Severus. I know your love for Lily. I watched you two for years. It is very sad it has come to this. I only bring you this news because I felt you should know of the loss of your child." Dumbledore replied.

"Sir, If I gave you something will you give it to her? Only she will know its meaning." Severus pleaded.

"Yes, Severus I will do that for you." Dumbledore said giving a sad smile.

Severus conjured a small piece of parchment and quill, and then wrote one simple word "Always." He handed it to Dumbledore with a broken heart "I shall never bother her again. She is free to live her life as she chooses. I will always love her no matter where life takes either of us. I wish her only happiness and love. She will find that when I'm gone. Thank you Headmaster for all you have done for both of us."

With that Severus decided he would never lay eyes on Lily again. He only brought her pain. He would go and fulfill his duty to Voldermort taking every mission and task offered in hopes he would find death quickly. Its what he deserved.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been two days and Sirius still hadn't left Lily's bed side. The healers came and went telling him bits and pieces of information. The wounds had closed, yet Lily wouldn't wake. The healers had no explanation for her unconsciousness. Sirius was sitting beside Lily's bed holding her hand pleading with her to wake up when Remus and James walked into her room.

"Sirius mate you need some sleep and food." pleaded Remus.

"I told you I'm not going any damn where until she wakes up! I will not have her wake up alone!" Sirius spat back.

Remus looked at the floor and shook his head; he had tried everything he knew to get Sirius to give himself a break.

James stood there in awe, he had only thought he had loved Lily, he could see the desperation and pain in Sirius's face that he himself didn't have. James cared a great deal for Lily but he knew right then that what Sirius felt for her was true love. James finally spoke "Sirius, we will stay right here. We wont leave this room, at least apparate to Grimmauld Place, take a shower and have Kreacher make you something to eat. She wont wake up in the hour your gone."

Sirius looked at James in disbelief and yelled "I'm not fucking leaving!"

James put his hands up as a sign he was backing off the subject.

Remus trying to defuse the situation timidly looked to Sirius and said "Ok, well since you won't leave, do you need us to bring you anything?"

Sirius just shook his head and said "You cant bring me what I need."

The three sat there in silence for what seemed like hours. The door opened and Dumbledore walked in looking sadly at Lily. "I assume she has still not woken?"

The word "No" rang out in unison.

Dumbledore shook his head and walked to the window looking out; he was very deep in thought. He sighed, drew his wand and threw a silencing spell around the room. He turned to the three and began with his plan for Lily.

"I have kept a great secret for the three of you for some time now. I kept your secret because it is whats best for the whole. I have even helped you keep your secret of being unregistered animagus, now I'm asking you to trust me and help me keep a secret. Lily has yet to awaken so it will make this easier if you should decide that this is the right choice for her. The four of us will make an unbreakable vow to keep this secret if we proceed with it. Do all of you understand?"

The three looked at each other knowing the consequence of breaking an unbreakable vow is death. Sirius spoke up and asked "What is it we will be keeping a secret?"

Dumbledore nodded his head and continued "Lily has been put through a lot in the past couple of months and I think her sorrow should end now. I have the power to erase and modify some of her memories. Should I do this I will allow her to remember her relationship with Severus and remember their break up but I'll remove all memories of her baby. Please understand that if I do this I will see all her memories, I will see every moment she has spent with you. I will have to modify some moments so the baby isn't brought up. She may see you all a little different when she wakes up but she will never have to remember all that she's lost. She will wake up to a mending heart and three great friends instead of waking up heart broken, no baby and barren. I can't change her physical state but I can change her mental state. I think this is whats best for her. The last thing we need is her trying to run to Severus for comfort."

"So you're going to remove all memories that she was ever pregnant but she will remember all of her moments with us right?" Remus questioned.

Dumbledore gave a sad look and said "Yes for the most part. Some conversations will have to be modified to remove mention of the baby."

"You won't change how she feels about us then? Or how she feels about that bastard?" Sirius asked.

"No, Sirius I will not be changing her feelings toward people. That would be cruel. Severus has made some great mistakes but like it or not he loves her and she loves him. I just feel that removing the memories of the baby will allow her to move forward with life instead of trying to find him." Dumbledore replied.

The four of them sat in silence for a few moments thinking about the consequences of removing Lily's memories. They talked back and forth about the pros and cons of it all. Within the hour they had decided it was best to remove the memories of the baby.

Dumbledore sent them all out. Sirius had started to put up a fight to stay until Dumbledore explained there was no way for her to wake while he was in her mind. He finally conceded to leave. Dumbledore didn't allow them back in for almost two hours, he opened the door and smiled at the three camped outside the door. When they were all back inside Dumbledore explained that all had gone well and she would never remember being pregnant, he also informed them he had sent for Minerva, Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey.

"Why did you send for them?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore laughed and said "Who do you think was there the day we informed Lily and Severus about the baby? Plus we need someone to perform the unbreakable vow."

It wasn't long until everyone that knew the secret was there. Minerva performed the unbreakable vow for Dumbledore, Sirius, James and Remus. Dumbledore performed the unbreakable vow for Minerva, Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey. Lily's room had been cleared out on the exception of Remus, Sirius and Dumbledore; they all stood looking at her begging her to wake silently.

"SHIT!" Sirius shouted

"What is it Sirius?" Dumbledore asked looking confused and shocked.

"Fucking Snape! He knows and he's not bound! He can tell her everything we took away! He will ruin this!" Sirius stated pacing back and forth.

Dumbledore placed his hand on Sirius's back and said "I have talked to Severus, I assure you he won't be a problem but I plan on telling him what I have done. I trust Severus to stay away from Lily."

Sirius calmed down, he didn't have a choice but to trust Dumbledore. Dumbledore looked sadly at Lily once more and announced he had other business that needed attention, as he walked to the door and started out he looked at Remus and Sirius with a smile flickering on his lips and said "The next full moon after Lily is well I expect the grandest dog bowl in the lot!" He winked and went out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Dumbledore apparated back to his office and sent an owl to Severus asking him to meet him at a church close to Spinners End. He sat in his office shuffling threw paperwork and talking to Fawkes until the owl returned with the message from Severus agreeing to meet with him. Dumbledore kept himself busy until late afternoon when it was time to meet Severus.

He apparated to the church to find Severus sitting on the steps sobbing. Dumbledore walked over and sat beside the devastated young man, he gently patted his back and let Severus compose himself.

When Severus managed to form a sentence he looked at Dumbledore with his swollen puffy eyes and asked "Did she die?"

Dumbledore gave a small sad smile and said "No, Lily's wounds have closed she will be fine. We are still waiting on her to wake. I brought you here because I need to tell you what I've done and I need your word that you will never tell her what I've done. Its whats best for her."

Severus looked shocked and confused "What did you do to her?"

Dumbledore stood and asked Severus to walk with him, as they walked he told Severus what had transpired that morning and why he decided to do so. "Severus I know this is hard to understand but its best for you both. She doesn't have to mourn the loss and she will not seek you out, which will keep both of you safe from Voldermort." Dumbledore said finally looking Severus in the face.

Severus was feeling a mix of emotions. Dumbledore had erased the memory of what would be her only child, their child, the only good thing Severus had done was now gone. Severus understood that it would be easier on Lily because she could never miss what she never knew she had, it still hurt that she would never remember being a mother in any fashion. Severus finally looked at Dumbledore and agreed he had done the right thing then asked "Why did you bring me here of all places? Why bring me back to our childhood home?"

Dumbledores face fell as he looked over to the fresh heap of dirt with a blank headstone. "I brought you here so you could say goodbye to your son and give him a name. He needs to have at least one parent who knows where he is and he needs a name."

Severus followed Dumbledores stare, when his eyes reached the blank headstone he went rigid he looked to Dumbledore taking all the strength he had to hold himself together and said "Thank you. I appreciate all you have done. I hope one day I can redeem myself of what I've done. Can I please be alone with him?"

Dumbledore nodded his head and looked at Severus with such sadness and said "Severus you are a good man who has made some bad choices, that doesn't make you a bad man. Should you ever need me you know where I am." A few steps and a crack later Severus was alone.

He walked timidly to the tiny grave and fell to his knees crying and screaming into the air begging and pleading with anyone listening to not let this be real.

When Severus managed to pull himself together he sat beside his sons tiny grave and started talking to him. He told him how much he was loved, how sorry he was, and how much he wished he could change that day so long ago.

Severus fell silent trying to think of a name for his only son, he wondered what the child would have looked like, would he have red hair or black, would he have Lily's beautiful eyes or his dark ones, would he have Lily's caring nature and his talents? A single tear rolled down his cheek as he knew he'd never have answers to these questions because he himself was the reason he would never see his child alive. I created this child and I ended this child, one in love and the other in anger.

"Gods I wish I were dead! I don't deserve to live!" he screamed at the sky.

Severus sat at the little grave trying to think of the perfect name for the baby Lily would never know, he knew muggle names but that wouldn't do, not for his son. He had learned several languages, as he ran through several languages in his mind a small smile appeared on his face. He had found the perfect name. He took out his wand and pointed it at the small grave and the words were magically engraved into the concrete headstone:

Eros Siempre Snape  
November 2, 1977-November 2, 1977  
Our hearts still ache in sadness,  
and secret tears still flow.  
What it meant to lose you,  
no one will ever know.

Severus smiled at the tiny headstone with tears streaming down his face. He conjured a beautiful bouquet of lilies as he laid the flowers by the headstone he quietly said "Goodnight sweet prince. I'll see you soon. Please forgive me." Severus composed himself and turned to walk away, with a crack he was gone.

**AN: The baby's name is Greek and Spanish. It roughly translates to**   
**"Love Always Snape"**


	9. Chapter 9

The sun was coming up Remus and Sirius hadn't really slept much in the last 4 days. Sirius was at his usual place beside Lily's bed, Remus was in a chair opposite him.

Remus sighed and looked at the broken Sirius "Sirius I'm worried about you."

Sirius looked up at him confused and asked "Why would you be worried about me?"

Remus knitted his eyebrows together and quietly said "It's plain to everyone that you are in love with her. What are you going to do if she doesn't love you back? I know you hate him but she loves him. Can you love her past his memory? I have been your best friend for the last 6 years, I know you inside and out. She's not something you can forget or throw away if you cant have her exactly like you want her. His memory will always be a ghost for her. Can you really handle that?"

Sirius slumped in his chair rubbing his forehead with his head down, deep in thought he replied "I've never been second best at anything. I know in a lot of ways I'm still childish like that, I know I want what I want right now. I'm a spoiled ass rich kid who had everything handed to him. I'm not sure how I'll handle her feelings, all I know is right now I'd do anything for her to just look at me. I really wouldn't give a shit if all she did is look at me and tell me to get the fuck out! She is the only person I have never felt selfish about. Her happiness means more than what I want. I promised her she would never be alone, and she won't. No matter how she wants me I'll always be with her. So if that's what your calling love then, yes I suppose I'm in love with her. I'll deal with whatever comes along with her."

Remus smiled and shook his head chuckling a little "Look at this shit! Sirius Black all grown up!"

Sirius looked at Remus laughing, stuck up his middle finger and said "You better not tell a soul! I like being the spoiled ass rich kid!"

The day melted away Remus and Sirius hadn't left, Lily had many visitors, James, Slughorn, Minerva even Hagrid had stopped by. All day Lily had laid peaceful looking, not so much as a flinch.

Very late in the evening Dumbledore walked in, he wore a very sad look. "Boys I want to try something, it's a long shot but the heart is a funny thing. Lily has an old soul and she believes in old magic. Sirius and Remus can you please step away."

The pair did as Dumbledore asked and moved into the far corner thinking he was about to do some kind of ancient spell on Lily.

Dumbledore sat on the side of Lily's bed and grabbed her hand, he placed a piece of crumpled parchment in her hand and leaned down and whispered into her ear where only she could hear him. He straightened up some, kissed her on the forehead and wiped away what looked like a tear rolling down her cheek. He turned to look at the pair standing in the corner, they looked at him in disbelief, he gave a smile and a wink and walked out.

Sirius and Remus hurried back to Lily's side, Sirius squealed like a little girl when he saw her hand move to clutch the parchment in her hand. Sirius and Remus stood there holding their breath, as Lily began to stir.

Finally her eyes fluttered open; she looked around with confusion in her eyes. The first person she seen was Sirius, he was standing there looking at her like a puppy dog begging to be adopted. Lily let out a giggle and an audible sigh was let out by both men.

Sirius grabbed Lily's hand and asked "Are you ok? Do you need anything? I'm so sorry Lily! What can I do to make you better?"

Remus chuckled and cut in before Lily could say anything "Sirius! Calm down! She's awake now give her a second to get her bearings."

Sirius shot Remus a fuck you look but didn't say a word.

Lily giggled again she tilted her head, reached up with the back of her hand and brushed Sirius's cheek and said "I'm fine. A little confused but fine. You look like a puppy needing adopting!"

Remus chuckled and said "Sweetheart you have no clue!"

Lily looked to Remus and gave him a smile and nod then narrowed her eyes "Remus Lupin! You're in trouble! You told on me!"

Remus with a confused look asked "What exactly did I tell love?"

Lily pointing her finger at him failing miserably at containing her smile said "You told them about the whiskey and dog bowls!" The room erupted in laughter.

"Well its so good to have your sassy self-back, we have missed you greatly!" Remus told her still looking guilty.

Lily's face fell a little, it had finally hit her she hadn't woke up at Hogwarts, she was at St. Mungos. Lily looked at Sirius panicked and asked "Why am I here?"

Sirius looked to Remus then back to Lily "I'll only tell you if you promise to stay calm. I just got you back I don't want them to have to give you a draught to put you back out. Everything is fine. Do you promise to stay calm?"

"Yes, I promise I'll do my best to stay calm. Now please tell me how I ended up here! The last thing I remember is dancing with you at the willow tree." Lily said calmly.

Sirius sighed loudly knowing he'd tell her about being barren last because that would be the most upsetting "Lily we were dancing under that willow. We don't know who or how but a spell was cast at either you or James. You both were hit, before you get upset James is fine, he went home almost 2 days ago. The spell that was cast was of dark magic and they had a rather hard time closing your wounds because they were rather deep. You are fine now, I haven't seen it but I'm told you have a diagonal scar across your stomach. Are you ok so far?"

Lily looked a little shocked but nodded her head. "What aren't you telling me Sirius? I can see you're holding something back." Lily asked very pointedly.

Sirius had his head down shaking his head no. He looked up to Remus tears welling up in his eyes pleading silently for him to tell her, his guilt wouldn't allow him to do it but she deserved to know.

Remus sat on Lily's bed and took her hand smiled at her sadly and told her "Lily, sweetheart, you will never be able to have children. The cut was so deep that it injured you in a way that children will never be possible. I'm sorry love. If it weren't for us you would have never been out there. This would have never happened to you."

Lily sat silently crying she suddenly felt a huge loss. She felt as though something had been torn from her. She was telling herself it was knowing she would never be a mother that she was mourning but there was still something that just didn't settle right with her.

The two men held her hands and let her cry, both of them apologizing repeatedly. Lily managed to calm back down and dry her eyes. She looked at the two men who had no doubt stayed with her nonstop the last 4 days, she smiled at them sweetly and said "Thank you both. I don't know what I'd do without either of you. Now one of you go spring me so we can go home!"

The sun was coming up Remus and Sirius hadn't really slept much in the last 4 days. Sirius was at his usual place beside Lily's bed, Remus was in a chair opposite him.

Remus sighed and looked at the broken Sirius "Sirius I'm worried about you."

Sirius looked up at him confused and asked "Why would you be worried about me?"

Remus knitted his eyebrows together and quietly said "It's plain to everyone that you are in love with her. What are you going to do if she doesn't love you back? I know you hate him but she loves him. Can you love her past his memory? I have been your best friend for the last 6 years, I know you inside and out. She's not something you can forget or throw away if you cant have her exactly like you want her. His memory will always be a ghost for her. Can you really handle that?"

Sirius slumped in his chair rubbing his forehead with his head down, deep in thought he replied "I've never been second best at anything. I know in a lot of ways I'm still childish like that, I know I want what I want right now. I'm a spoiled ass rich kid who had everything handed to him. I'm not sure how I'll handle her feelings, all I know is right now I'd do anything for her to just look at me. I really wouldn't give a shit if all she did is look at me and tell me to get the fuck out! She is the only person I have never felt selfish about. Her happiness means more than what I want. I promised her she would never be alone, and she won't. No matter how she wants me I'll always be with her. So if that's what your calling love then, yes I suppose I'm in love with her. I'll deal with whatever comes along with her."

Remus smiled and shook his head chuckling a little "Look at this shit! Sirius Black all grown up!"

Sirius looked at Remus laughing, stuck up his middle finger and said "You better not tell a soul! I like being the spoiled ass rich kid!"

The day melted away Remus and Sirius hadn't left, Lily had many visitors, James, Slughorn, Minerva even Hagrid had stopped by. All day Lily had laid peaceful looking, not so much as a flinch.

Very late in the evening Dumbledore walked in, he wore a very sad look. "Boys I want to try something, it's a long shot but the heart is a funny thing. Lily has an old soul and she believes in old magic. Sirius and Remus can you please step away."

The pair did as Dumbledore asked and moved into the far corner thinking he was about to do some kind of ancient spell on Lily.

Dumbledore sat on the side of Lily's bed and grabbed her hand, he placed a piece of crumpled parchment in her hand and leaned down and whispered into her ear where only she could hear him. He straightened up some, kissed her on the forehead and wiped away what looked like a tear rolling down her cheek. He turned to look at the pair standing in the corner, they looked at him in disbelief, he gave a smile and a wink and walked out.

Sirius and Remus hurried back to Lily's side, Sirius squealed like a little girl when he saw her hand move to clutch the parchment in her hand. Sirius and Remus stood there holding their breath, as Lily began to stir.

Finally her eyes fluttered open; she looked around with confusion in her eyes. The first person she seen was Sirius, he was standing there looking at her like a puppy dog begging to be adopted. Lily let out a giggle and an audible sigh was let out by both men.

Sirius grabbed Lily's hand and asked "Are you ok? Do you need anything? I'm so sorry Lily! What can I do to make you better?"

Remus chuckled and cut in before Lily could say anything "Sirius! Calm down! She's awake now give her a second to get her bearings."

Sirius shot Remus a fuck you look but didn't say a word.

Lily giggled again she tilted her head, reached up with the back of her hand and brushed Sirius's cheek and said "I'm fine. A little confused but fine. You look like a puppy needing adopting!"

Remus chuckled and said "Sweetheart you have no clue!"

Lily looked to Remus and gave him a smile and nod then narrowed her eyes "Remus Lupin! You're in trouble! You told on me!"

Remus with a confused look asked "What exactly did I tell love?"

Lily pointing her finger at him failing miserably at containing her smile said "You told them about the whiskey and dog bowls!" The room erupted in laughter.

"Well its so good to have your sassy self-back, we have missed you greatly!" Remus told her still looking guilty.

Lily's face fell a little, it had finally hit her she hadn't woke up at Hogwarts, she was at St. Mungos. Lily looked at Sirius panicked and asked "Why am I here?"

Sirius looked to Remus then back to Lily "I'll only tell you if you promise to stay calm. I just got you back I don't want them to have to give you a draught to put you back out. Everything is fine. Do you promise to stay calm?"

"Yes, I promise I'll do my best to stay calm. Now please tell me how I ended up here! The last thing I remember is dancing with you at the willow tree." Lily said calmly.

Sirius sighed loudly knowing he'd tell her about being barren last because that would be the most upsetting "Lily we were dancing under that willow. We don't know who or how but a spell was cast at either you or James. You both were hit, before you get upset James is fine, he went home almost 2 days ago. The spell that was cast was of dark magic and they had a rather hard time closing your wounds because they were rather deep. You are fine now, I haven't seen it but I'm told you have a diagonal scar across your stomach. Are you ok so far?"

Lily looked a little shocked but nodded her head. "What aren't you telling me Sirius? I can see you're holding something back." Lily asked very pointedly.

Sirius had his head down shaking his head no. He looked up to Remus tears welling up in his eyes pleading silently for him to tell her, his guilt wouldn't allow him to do it but she deserved to know.

Remus sat on Lily's bed and took her hand smiled at her sadly and told her "Lily, sweetheart, you will never be able to have children. The cut was so deep that it injured you in a way that children will never be possible. I'm sorry love. If it weren't for us you would have never been out there. This would have never happened to you."

Lily sat silently crying she suddenly felt a huge loss. She felt as though something had been torn from her. She was telling herself it was knowing she would never be a mother that she was mourning but there was still something that just didn't settle right with her.

The two men held her hands and let her cry, both of them apologizing repeatedly. Lily managed to calm back down and dry her eyes. She looked at the two men who had no doubt stayed with her nonstop the last 4 days, she smiled at them sweetly and said "Thank you both. I don't know what I'd do without either of you. Now one of you go spring me so we can go home!"


	10. Chapter 10

Lily was brought back to Hogwarts and waited on hand and foot by the marauders, much to her dislike they wouldn't let her do anything. She had been excused from classes for the first week and Sirius skipped with her. "Sirius I cant take this anymore! I have to leave this common room! Please can we go outside or anywhere but here!" Lily said frustrated.

"Love, it is the middle of November, we will not be going outside! If you wish we can walk around the castle." Sirius answered her.

Lily gave him a damn you look then finally agreed. As they were leaving the common room Lily was trying to go down stairs thinking she could tempt Sirius to take her outside for fresh air. Lily was walking at a rather quick pace trying to get far enough ahead of him so she could slip out. Sirius seen what she was doing and ran in front of her, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and started upstairs.

"Dammit Sirius Black! Put me down! Now!" Lily yelled in the middle of a laughing fit.

Sirius laughed at her and said "Nope!" then slapped her on the ass playfully.

"Sirius when you put me down I'm kicking your ass!" Lily still trying to sound angry.

Sirius kept laughing and walking.

"Sirius! People are going to see us!" Lily said trying to sound like she was pouting.

Sirius stopped and asked her "Miss Evans are you embarrassed to be seen with me!?"

Lily stopped squirming and laughing not knowing if Sirius had took her comment the wrong way. "Sirius I was only joking so you'd put me down. That's all I meant." Lily said in a small voice.

Sirius lifted her off his shoulder and stood her up facing him. He had a twisted expression of sadness, hope, and longing, he looked like he desperately wanted to tell her something but all he did was place his hands and her cheeks and kiss her forehead. He grabbed her hand pulling her forward and said "Come on were almost there!"

Lily followed him to the 7th floor "Where are we? There's nothing here but walls!"

Sirius wearing his mischievous smirk said "Sweetheart when will you ever learn? I am always full of surprises! Now I want you to walk past this wall three times with your eyes closed thinking of where you want to be."

Lily did as Sirius had told her when she opened her eyes there was a door that hadn't been there before. Sirius smirked and motioned for her to open the door.

Lily gasped when the door opened. Laid before her was a winter wonderland. There were trees covered in snow, a small pond that was iced over and about a foot of snow. Lily turned to Sirius and jumped into his arms "This is perfect! Thank you so much!"

Sirius's heart melted when he seen how happy she was, Lily was still clung to him with her legs wrapped around his waist, he hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear "Anything to make you happy, love."

Lily quickly jumped down and before he knew it Sirius had been hit in the face with a snowball.

"Oh so that's how you want to play then! Your ass is grass Lily Evans!" Sirius shouted at her as she ran to hide.

They threw snowballs at each other until their fingers were numb, when they had enough of the snow Lily ran for the pond and slid across it. Sirius ran after her and trying to look cool and impress her, he ended up falling flat on his ass. Lily doubled over laughing at him, and then finally asked if he was ok.

"Yeah I'm fine. My pride is a little bruised." Sirius said with a frown.

"Oh come on get up and try again." Lily laughed.

Sirius managed to get up and slid toward Lily, she grabbed both his hands to stop him. "Look at THE Sirius Black playing silly muggle games." Lily laughed.

Sirius turned his nose up and said "We wizards invented this game!"

Lily couldn't help but laugh at his fake smugness. "Hold on to my hands. Don't let go! Ok!" Lily said almost begging.

"Ok as long as you promise my ass wont hit the ice again! That hurts!" Sirius replied trying to pull off a fake hurt look.

Lily looked at him with a smirk and began to slowly spin them around on the ice. The slow spin soon got faster. Lily threw her head back laughing like a fool. Sirius was nervous at first then relaxed and just went with it. He loved hearing her laugh even if it was at his expense. He felt Lily's hand slipping from his and tried to pull her closer they both lost their balance and fell into the snow bank. Sirius had fell flat on his back and Lily had landed on top of him. Before he could panic about her being hurt she had buried her face in his chest laughing. He let his head fall back into the snow and laughed with her. "Lily what am I gonna do with you?" Sirius mused aloud as he was playing with her long red hair.

Lily had stopped laughing and was laying on Sirius's chest looking out at the snow. Deep in thought not meaning to say it out loud she said "Probably forget about me when we finish this year."

"What!?" Sirius exclaimed.

Lily sat up and looked at him confused "Well I didn't mean to say that out loud but you will. You'll leave here and find a job and a wife and have a bunch of little shitheads just like you. You won't have time for me anymore and that's ok." Lily putting her head down and mumbling the last part.

"Lily are you blind?" Sirius asked in a hurt tone.

"What do you mean am I blind?" Lily asked still confused.

"Lily there wont be a wife or little shits like me." Sirius stated matter of factly.

"Oh, so you and Remus?" Lily said disappointed.

Sirius's eyes bulged and all he could do was laugh. He sat there thinking either she really is this innocent or she's a damn good actress.

"Why are you laughing at me!?" Lily shouted.

In one swift move Sirius grabbed Lily by the waist and placed her in his lap and kissed her, much to his surprise she kissed him back. This wasn't a friend kiss, this was a heated and passionate kiss, it started innocent but quickly it had turned into hair pulling, trails of kisses, and love bites. Sirius got carried away in the moment as he was trailing kisses up her neck he nipped her ear and said "I love you."

Lily stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at him horrified "No! You can't love me and we can't do this!" She jumped up and ran out of the room.

"I have no damn clue Remus! I told you, I let it slip that I loved her and she bolted. I don't know why she reacted that way and she won't come out of her room!" Sirius said frustrated.

"So everything was fine until you said you loved her?" Remus questioned.

"Yes Remus! Everything was great until I let it slip. Its not like I said it to get into her pants, hell I was already half way there!" Sirius answered while pacing the common room floor.

"It has to be that she's not over Snape or she's worried about what James will say." Remus stated looking around frustrated.

"If it's James I can fix this right now. James is dating Samantha Clearwater." Sirius stated smugly.

"When did that happen?" Remus asked shocked.

"Apparently she's fancied him for a while and after he got hurt and came home and we stayed she stepped in to help him and it went from there. He didn't tell me until I caught them together when I was going to the kitchen for Lily the other night." Sirius said shrugging.

Remus sat back in his chair with a shocked expression then finally muttered "Well this all worked itself out better than I had expected. I wasn't looking forward to trying to keep you two from killing each other until she decided."

Sirius frustrated and desperate walked over to the girls dorm stairs. He stood at the bottom of the stairs trying to decide what to do. He looked at Remus and winked then bounded up the stairs he knocked on Lily's door but she never answered. "Lily Evans! I know you're in there! I know you're ignoring me. I'm not going anywhere. I promised you'd never be alone and I meant it! I told you I love you and I meant that too. Now I'm not leaving until you open this door and talk to me! I swear I will sleep out here!" Sirius shouted so the whole dorm could hear.

Remus sat in the common room laughing, shaking his head and said to himself "She's going to kill his ass!"

Suddenly Lily's door flew open "What in the bloody hell are you thinking Sirius Black!? Out here screaming like a fool!" Lily growled at him.

Sirius simply smirked and said "I meant what I said and I don't give a damn who knows it!"

Lily visibly aggravated turned around and walked toward her bed throwing her hands in the air before flopping down on the bed. She was screaming something into the mattress but Sirius couldn't understand her.

"Love, please talk to me. I love you but if you don't love me that's fine. I'm still not going anywhere. I love you enough to be whatever you need me to be." Sirius pleading.

Lily sat up and looked at Sirius, her eyes were puffy and red, she shook her head and said "Don't waste your life on me. I'm a mudblood. You're a Black! Your family will disown you. I've already been through this, my blood status means I'm less than in the wizard world. I'm not worthy. Not to mention all this shit with Severus. Then there's James. I won't break up your friendship. All of that doesn't even compare to the fact I can never give you a child. I know you are the last Black. You need a wife with better blood and a functioning body. You deserve better than me."

Sirius looked at her with amusement "This is why you bolted on me today? This little list you have are the reasons you think I shouldn't love you?"

Lily looked up insulted "What you need more reasons? Give me a minute and I can think of a few more!"

Sirius knew she was pissed and worried but he didn't care, nothing she had mentioned meant shit to him. He grabbed her and kissed her; Lily melted under his touch and kissed him back. Sirius pulled away when he tasted salt knowing she was crying again. "Lily, do you love me?"

Lily sighed "It doesn't matter how I feel. We can't be together. Were you not paying attention to what I said?"

Sirius bit his bottom lip looking up at her through his lashes "Lily I didn't ask for a list of reasons! Do you love me? It is a simple question with only one answer."

"Fine! Yes I do love you Sirius Black but it doesn't matter! I won't let you ruin your life over me!" Lily shouted as she jumped off the bed and walked over to look out the window with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Sirius sat on the bed a little shocked; he smirked then shook his head. He walked over to where Lily stood; he pushed all of her hair over on one shoulder then kissed her bare shoulder. "Lily, will you listen to my list of reasons for us to be together?" Sirius asked playfully.

Lily gave him a side glance and smirked.

"Lily, dear I don't ever want to hear the word mudblood come out of your mouth again. Your blood status doesn't mean a damn thing to me. Yes, I am a Black but only by name. I am the only Black to ever be sorted into Gryffindor. Yes, I am a pureblood but my family disowned me several years ago. I'm not a Slytherin and I'm a blood traitor. I am not Severus. I don't give a shit how much magical blood you have, I don't associate with people who would care about your blood and I will never leave you. I don't break my promises. As far as James goes he has found someone he is quite taken with so you won't be ruining any friendships. I have never really cared about having children of my own, you were right they would be little shitheads and I don't care to deal with that. As for the Black name dying, well I am the best person to ever come from that line so I may as well let it die with me. Now, the most important reason we should be together is because I love you and you love me."

Lily turned to Sirius, he could still see the tear steaks in the moonlight, he ran his thumbs across her cheeks to remove them.

"Nothing matters to me but you. I don't ever want to see your face stained like that again unless its from tears of joy. If you want me I'm yours. I'll let you think about it." Sirius turned to leave.

Lily grabbed him by the wrist and stopped him, Lily jumped into his arms and whispered into his ear "Please don't ever leave me!"

Sirius ran his hand from her head down her back and whispered back "You're stuck with me now."

Lily was brought back to Hogwarts and waited on hand and foot by the marauders, much to her dislike they wouldn't let her do anything. She had been excused from classes for the first week and Sirius skipped with her. "Sirius I cant take this anymore! I have to leave this common room! Please can we go outside or anywhere but here!" Lily said frustrated.

"Love, it is the middle of November, we will not be going outside! If you wish we can walk around the castle." Sirius answered her.

Lily gave him a damn you look then finally agreed. As they were leaving the common room Lily was trying to go down stairs thinking she could tempt Sirius to take her outside for fresh air. Lily was walking at a rather quick pace trying to get far enough ahead of him so she could slip out. Sirius seen what she was doing and ran in front of her, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and started upstairs.

"Dammit Sirius Black! Put me down! Now!" Lily yelled in the middle of a laughing fit.

Sirius laughed at her and said "Nope!" then slapped her on the ass playfully.

"Sirius when you put me down I'm kicking your ass!" Lily still trying to sound angry.

Sirius kept laughing and walking.

"Sirius! People are going to see us!" Lily said trying to sound like she was pouting.

Sirius stopped and asked her "Miss Evans are you embarrassed to be seen with me!?"

Lily stopped squirming and laughing not knowing if Sirius had took her comment the wrong way. "Sirius I was only joking so you'd put me down. That's all I meant." Lily said in a small voice.

Sirius lifted her off his shoulder and stood her up facing him. He had a twisted expression of sadness, hope, and longing, he looked like he desperately wanted to tell her something but all he did was place his hands and her cheeks and kiss her forehead. He grabbed her hand pulling her forward and said "Come on were almost there!"

Lily followed him to the 7th floor "Where are we? There's nothing here but walls!"

Sirius wearing his mischievous smirk said "Sweetheart when will you ever learn? I am always full of surprises! Now I want you to walk past this wall three times with your eyes closed thinking of where you want to be."

Lily did as Sirius had told her when she opened her eyes there was a door that hadn't been there before. Sirius smirked and motioned for her to open the door.

Lily gasped when the door opened. Laid before her was a winter wonderland. There were trees covered in snow, a small pond that was iced over and about a foot of snow. Lily turned to Sirius and jumped into his arms "This is perfect! Thank you so much!"

Sirius's heart melted when he seen how happy she was, Lily was still clung to him with her legs wrapped around his waist, he hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear "Anything to make you happy, love."

Lily quickly jumped down and before he knew it Sirius had been hit in the face with a snowball.

"Oh so that's how you want to play then! Your ass is grass Lily Evans!" Sirius shouted at her as she ran to hide.

They threw snowballs at each other until their fingers were numb, when they had enough of the snow Lily ran for the pond and slid across it. Sirius ran after her and trying to look cool and impress her, he ended up falling flat on his ass. Lily doubled over laughing at him, and then finally asked if he was ok.

"Yeah I'm fine. My pride is a little bruised." Sirius said with a frown.

"Oh come on get up and try again." Lily laughed.

Sirius managed to get up and slid toward Lily, she grabbed both his hands to stop him. "Look at THE Sirius Black playing silly muggle games." Lily laughed.

Sirius turned his nose up and said "We wizards invented this game!"

Lily couldn't help but laugh at his fake smugness. "Hold on to my hands. Don't let go! Ok!" Lily said almost begging.

"Ok as long as you promise my ass wont hit the ice again! That hurts!" Sirius replied trying to pull off a fake hurt look.

Lily looked at him with a smirk and began to slowly spin them around on the ice. The slow spin soon got faster. Lily threw her head back laughing like a fool. Sirius was nervous at first then relaxed and just went with it. He loved hearing her laugh even if it was at his expense. He felt Lily's hand slipping from his and tried to pull her closer they both lost their balance and fell into the snow bank. Sirius had fell flat on his back and Lily had landed on top of him. Before he could panic about her being hurt she had buried her face in his chest laughing. He let his head fall back into the snow and laughed with her. "Lily what am I gonna do with you?" Sirius mused aloud as he was playing with her long red hair.

Lily had stopped laughing and was laying on Sirius's chest looking out at the snow. Deep in thought not meaning to say it out loud she said "Probably forget about me when we finish this year."

"What!?" Sirius exclaimed.

Lily sat up and looked at him confused "Well I didn't mean to say that out loud but you will. You'll leave here and find a job and a wife and have a bunch of little shitheads just like you. You won't have time for me anymore and that's ok." Lily putting her head down and mumbling the last part.

"Lily are you blind?" Sirius asked in a hurt tone.

"What do you mean am I blind?" Lily asked still confused.

"Lily there wont be a wife or little shits like me." Sirius stated matter of factly.

"Oh, so you and Remus?" Lily said disappointed.

Sirius's eyes bulged and all he could do was laugh. He sat there thinking either she really is this innocent or she's a damn good actress.

"Why are you laughing at me!?" Lily shouted.

In one swift move Sirius grabbed Lily by the waist and placed her in his lap and kissed her, much to his surprise she kissed him back. This wasn't a friend kiss, this was a heated and passionate kiss, it started innocent but quickly it had turned into hair pulling, trails of kisses, and love bites. Sirius got carried away in the moment as he was trailing kisses up her neck he nipped her ear and said "I love you."

Lily stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at him horrified "No! You can't love me and we can't do this!" She jumped up and ran out of the room.

"I have no damn clue Remus! I told you, I let it slip that I loved her and she bolted. I don't know why she reacted that way and she won't come out of her room!" Sirius said frustrated.

"So everything was fine until you said you loved her?" Remus questioned.

"Yes Remus! Everything was great until I let it slip. Its not like I said it to get into her pants, hell I was already half way there!" Sirius answered while pacing the common room floor.

"It has to be that she's not over Snape or she's worried about what James will say." Remus stated looking around frustrated.

"If it's James I can fix this right now. James is dating Samantha Clearwater." Sirius stated smugly.

"When did that happen?" Remus asked shocked.

"Apparently she's fancied him for a while and after he got hurt and came home and we stayed she stepped in to help him and it went from there. He didn't tell me until I caught them together when I was going to the kitchen for Lily the other night." Sirius said shrugging.

Remus sat back in his chair with a shocked expression then finally muttered "Well this all worked itself out better than I had expected. I wasn't looking forward to trying to keep you two from killing each other until she decided."

Sirius frustrated and desperate walked over to the girls dorm stairs. He stood at the bottom of the stairs trying to decide what to do. He looked at Remus and winked then bounded up the stairs he knocked on Lily's door but she never answered. "Lily Evans! I know you're in there! I know you're ignoring me. I'm not going anywhere. I promised you'd never be alone and I meant it! I told you I love you and I meant that too. Now I'm not leaving until you open this door and talk to me! I swear I will sleep out here!" Sirius shouted so the whole dorm could hear.

Remus sat in the common room laughing, shaking his head and said to himself "She's going to kill his ass!"

Suddenly Lily's door flew open "What in the bloody hell are you thinking Sirius Black!? Out here screaming like a fool!" Lily growled at him.

Sirius simply smirked and said "I meant what I said and I don't give a damn who knows it!"

Lily visibly aggravated turned around and walked toward her bed throwing her hands in the air before flopping down on the bed. She was screaming something into the mattress but Sirius couldn't understand her.

"Love, please talk to me. I love you but if you don't love me that's fine. I'm still not going anywhere. I love you enough to be whatever you need me to be." Sirius pleading.

Lily sat up and looked at Sirius, her eyes were puffy and red, she shook her head and said "Don't waste your life on me. I'm a mudblood. You're a Black! Your family will disown you. I've already been through this, my blood status means I'm less than in the wizard world. I'm not worthy. Not to mention all this shit with Severus. Then there's James. I won't break up your friendship. All of that doesn't even compare to the fact I can never give you a child. I know you are the last Black. You need a wife with better blood and a functioning body. You deserve better than me."

Sirius looked at her with amusement "This is why you bolted on me today? This little list you have are the reasons you think I shouldn't love you?"

Lily looked up insulted "What you need more reasons? Give me a minute and I can think of a few more!"

Sirius knew she was pissed and worried but he didn't care, nothing she had mentioned meant shit to him. He grabbed her and kissed her; Lily melted under his touch and kissed him back. Sirius pulled away when he tasted salt knowing she was crying again. "Lily, do you love me?"

Lily sighed "It doesn't matter how I feel. We can't be together. Were you not paying attention to what I said?"

Sirius bit his bottom lip looking up at her through his lashes "Lily I didn't ask for a list of reasons! Do you love me? It is a simple question with only one answer."

"Fine! Yes I do love you Sirius Black but it doesn't matter! I won't let you ruin your life over me!" Lily shouted as she jumped off the bed and walked over to look out the window with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Sirius sat on the bed a little shocked; he smirked then shook his head. He walked over to where Lily stood; he pushed all of her hair over on one shoulder then kissed her bare shoulder. "Lily, will you listen to my list of reasons for us to be together?" Sirius asked playfully.

Lily gave him a side glance and smirked.

"Lily, dear I don't ever want to hear the word mudblood come out of your mouth again. Your blood status doesn't mean a damn thing to me. Yes, I am a Black but only by name. I am the only Black to ever be sorted into Gryffindor. Yes, I am a pureblood but my family disowned me several years ago. I'm not a Slytherin and I'm a blood traitor. I am not Severus. I don't give a shit how much magical blood you have, I don't associate with people who would care about your blood and I will never leave you. I don't break my promises. As far as James goes he has found someone he is quite taken with so you won't be ruining any friendships. I have never really cared about having children of my own, you were right they would be little shitheads and I don't care to deal with that. As for the Black name dying, well I am the best person to ever come from that line so I may as well let it die with me. Now, the most important reason we should be together is because I love you and you love me."

Lily turned to Sirius, he could still see the tear steaks in the moonlight, he ran his thumbs across her cheeks to remove them.

"Nothing matters to me but you. I don't ever want to see your face stained like that again unless its from tears of joy. If you want me I'm yours. I'll let you think about it." Sirius turned to leave.

Lily grabbed him by the wrist and stopped him, Lily jumped into his arms and whispered into his ear "Please don't ever leave me!"

Sirius ran his hand from her head down her back and whispered back "You're stuck with me now."


	11. Chapter 11

It didn't take long for the entire school to know that Lily Evans and Sirius Black were dating. Sirius loved fueling the rumor mill. He never wasted a chance to kiss Lily in public, escort her to every class, grab her up and carry her around, while she laughed and cussed at him, or the time he punched the arrogant Slytherin who called her a filthy mudblood.

Every student and professor knew Lily belonged to Sirius, for Lily is was a drastic change, the only other person she had ever dated she had to hide. Lily loved being able to be open about who she was seeing. She loved the fact that someone was proud to be with her, even though he knew of all her mistakes, he loved her and he meant what he said, he didn't give a damn who knew it.

The days were ticking by the tension between Sirius and James was gone. James and Samantha were happy, so happy that Remus and Sirius had a bet on when he'd ask her to marry him. Lily still missed Severus, she would always love him but she couldn't get past him being a death eater. As much as she missed Severus she was happy, she loved Sirius and Remus had become her best friend and James well he was friendly and she was grateful to him. Without James she would never have what she did, someone who proudly loved her and a best friend.

Lily was sitting in the library reading a book; Sirius stalked in silently grabbed the book and ran off with it. Lily was cussing him as she ran after him. He taunted her with the book all the way back to the portrait of the fat lady.

"Dammit Sirius! Give me my book!" Lily shouted.

Sirius laughed and said "Nope!" He said the password and went through the portrait. He ran over to the banister and threw the book up to Remus who was standing outside Lily's door.

"Really Remus! You're helping him be an ass now?!" Lily shouted as she stomped up the stairs toward Remus. When Lily was just a few feet away Remus opened her door and threw the book inside giving Lily a mischievous grin. Lily stopped in front of Remus and narrowed her eyes at him, growled and walked into her room. Lily bent down to retrieve the book and as she stood up she noticed two beautifully wrapped boxes on her bed. She turned back to the doorway, there stood Remus and Sirius beaming at her. "What is this?" She asked confused.

"Well they look like gifts to me!" Sirius said grinning.

Lily narrowed her eyes at the pair, Christmas was soon but with these two you never knew what they could be up to. Remus shooed her with his hands to go over and open them. Lily walked over to her bed to find a piece of parchment laying on top of the larger box. She gently unfolded it and began to read aloud:

Padfoot and Moony would like to request your company to the coming  
Christmas ball. You will find everything you need within these boxes.  
XOXO Padfoot & Moony

Lily turned to look at both of them smiling; she grabbed the larger box, and removed the lid. "Oh My! This is beautiful!" Lily said in awe. She removed the dress from the box. It was a deep crimson color, strapless with a corset top, the bottom was floor length, made of satin.

"So you like it?" Remus asked sheepishly.

"I love it!" Lily exclaimed.

Remus elbowed Sirius and smugly said "I told you!"

Sirius just frowned at Remus then asked "Well love, are you going to open the other one?"

Lily blushed having forgot there was another box. Lily picked up the smaller box and removed the lid, inside was a larger felt covered box. She knew immediately it was jewelry she lifted the lid and there laid softly on a black cushion was one of the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen. It was a collar style necklace in white gold and was covered in rubies. Lily felt a tear roll down her cheek; she had never been given anything as beautiful this. While in her daze Remus had walked in front of her. Lily looked up, smiled and said "This is beautiful!"

Remus wiped away the tear gave her a small smile and said "This belonged to my mother. Her name was Hope. I will never forget the day you dragged me to the pond and made me talk to you. You knew I was lonely and you knew I was giving up. You, with a few simple words gave me something I had lost.. hope. That my dear is why I want you to have this."

Lily couldn't hold back the tears, Remus pulled her into a tight hug and said "Thank you for caring."

Lily pulled away wiping her face, she smiled at Remus and said "Thank you, I will cherish it always."

Remus leaned forward and kissed her cheek, smiled and turned to leave the room. Remus patted Sirius on the back as he passed him.

Sirius was leaning on the door jamb looking as cocky as ever.

Lily smirked at him and asked "Can I help you Mr. Black?"

Sirius smirked and said "Depends..."

Lily pulled a half grin and asked "Depending on what?"

Sirius walked over, grabbed her by the hand and led her over to bed, he sat beside her. He pulled a leather box from his pocket and held it in his hand looking up at her "I want to give you something but I'm not sure how you will feel about it. What is in this box will bind us together until one of us no longer loves the other. Once it is on it will not come off until one of us doesn't love the other anymore. What it does is show the other deep emotion, anger, fear, hurt, loneliness, and sadness. I want you to have this because I know you will be going home for Christmas and Remus and I cant come with you until after Christmas due to the full moon. I want to know if you need me when I'm not around. I know this may seem intrusive this early in our relationship but it would ease my mind with you being away from me. If you don't want to accept it yet I will fully understand."

Lily was rather shocked that did seem like a huge step being magically bound to a person I'm not even married to. "Sirius how exactly does this bind us? We aren't married if I put that on are we? You cant run to me every time I feel lonely. How do you know when its real fear instead of typical fear like seeing a spider?" she questioned.

Sirius chuckled as he remembered she was muggle born and didn't quite understand magical jewelry. Sirius opened the box to show her it was two silver bracelets one was stamped with a doe and the other was stamped with a black dog. "Love, the way these work are when you are just sad because it's raining it will turn light blue, no big deal I won't come. If it turns a dark blue and starts to get hot then that's when I will come because you are so sad you need me. Lonely is green, anger is red, fear is yellow and pain is black. I promise I won't ever come unless it starts to burn, as I expect the same from you. No, we will not be married. This will never prevent you from living your life as you see fit, as long as you love me in any form it will stay on, even if you only love me as a friend it will stay. It is my way of proving I'll always be there no matter what."

Lily was feeling much better about the gift now smiled and put out her left wrist. Sirius smiled and placed the bracelet with the black dog on her wrist, then gave her the box with the other bracelet in it. Lily picked it up and placed it on his left wrist. They then joined hands letting the bracelets touch they glowed silver then they heard the click of the bracelets being permanently closed. Sirius leaned over and kissed Lily, he tucked her hair behind her ear and said "Thank you. I will be much more at ease now. I love you Lily."

Lily blushed and said 'I love you too. "

"Come on let's go downstairs before McGonagall kills me for being up here" Sirius said laughing.

Severus sat at the bar at Hogs Head spinning the empty whiskey glass in front of him. He had grown to hate these moments when he had nothing to do. He had found a twisted comfort in his new job, torturing, spying, and killing kept his mind busy enough to not think about Lily or Eros. In these moments when he had no mission he always found himself here getting drunk being as close to her as possible.

Voldermort had been correct in telling him that he would rise through the ranks quickly. He had already earned his spot in Voldermorts inner circle; his eagerness to do any mission given had impressed the Dark Lord.

Dumbledore had been gracious enough to teach him Occlumency and Legilimency soon after he had buried Eros. Dumbledore knew it was essential to Lily's safety as well as his own. No one could enter his mind to know how broken and miserable he was. No one could ever see how much he regretted his decisions, no one would ever know how often he wonder what she was doing, no one would ever know how much he hoped she didn't hate him, no one would ever know how much he still loved her. "Always" he muttered to himself.

It came like a cold rain on a summer day, that familiar burn on his skin, he was being summoned to do something awful to someone; his only way of forgetting her if only for a little while. Severus smirked, stood and disapparated.


	12. Chapter 12

The Christmas Ball was beautiful. The great hall had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Huge Christmas trees were everywhere, the walls were white instead of their usual stone color, the floor was red carpet on the exception of the place that was hardwood that was to be a dance floor, there was even snow falling from the ceiling that disappeared before it hit the floor.

Lily was the only person to show up with two dates; she was also the most beautifully dressed according to Sirius and Remus and the gasps of the crowd when they walked through the doors. It was one of the most wonderful nights the three of them had spent together.

They just fit together; Lily had grown from the shy little girl into one of the marauders. She was becoming as sneaky as they were and Sirius's language had rubbed off on her long ago. Sirius fell in love with Lily a little more every day and Remus had come out of his shell. James had fell away from the group but it wasn't because of Lily and Sirius. He was very happy for them; James had matured a lot after dating Samantha and didn't care for their wild behavior anymore. He was thinking ahead to his future. He was working hard to pull up his grades to be able to get a good job so he could impress Samantha's parents so they could wed soon after school. In that moment everything was perfect.

Lily was in her room packing to go home for the holidays, she missed her parents but she wanted to stay with Sirius and Remus. She had tried to argue with them but both of them shot her down quickly. They wouldn't allow it because of the full moon Remus must endure, on Christmas Day of all things. There must be a way of making this easier on him, there has to be a potion to ease or even stop his transformation. Lily's heart broke for Remus, his last Christmas at Hogwarts and he has to spend it as a werewolf! This is so unfair she thought, still slinging clothes into her trunk.

"Whats wrong love?" Sirius asked quietly.

Lily yelped and spun around "Nothing!" she lied.

"Tisk, tisk, tisk, Miss Evans. I know your lying!" Sirius smirked at her.

"I am not!" Lily retorted.

Sirius raised his left wrist and shook the bright blue bracelet. "Now, care to tell me the truth?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Dammit I forgot about that thing! You promised you wouldn't come unless it burned and its not dark blue!" Lily shot back.

"I was just down stairs love, its not like I traveled hundreds of miles to check on you." Sirius said smirking.

"I'm just upset about having to leave you and Remus. I feel like I should be here!" Lily finally admitting the truth.

"Lily we have talked about this. It is not safe for you. Why do you think we take animagus form to be around him? He's not the Remus you know when he's a werewolf. Besides as soon as the full moon passes we will come to Spinners End. We may miss Christmas but well be with you on New Years." Sirius told her trying to calm her down.

"Fine! I will go home with no more protest if you and Remus promise to teach me how to become an animagus. He is my best friend and I don't think I should have to leave him when he needs me most! Promise me or I swear I'll miss that train!" Lily stated matter of factly.

Sirius shook his head exasperated walked to the banister and yelled for Remus.

Remus made his way up quickly and looked around confused "Whats wrong?" he asked looking from Sirius to Lily.

"Miss Evans here has informed me that if we don't teach her how to become an animagus after Christmas holidays that she isn't going home!" Sirius informed Remus.

Remus shook his head looking at Lily and said "Sweetheart it's not as easy as a spell. Are you seriously going to walk around for a month with a mandrake leaf in your mouth? Not to mention all the other things you must master. It is a long and difficult thing to master. Plus you wont know what your animagus is until you've become one. What if you turn into a chicken? Lastly why are you so adamant about this?"

"Remus Lupin you are my best friend and I will not leave you every time this happens. I will do whatever it takes to be able to stay with you through these nights! If I turn into a damn chicken then I guess you two will have something to chase! Now either you both promise me or I'm not leaving!" Lily spat back.

Sirius looked at Remus and shook his head in defeat "I guess we have no choice because you're going home! Plus we would like to meet your parents. We promise! Now finish packing so we can escort you to the train please!"

Several hours later the three of them were standing at the platform in front of the train. Lily kept her promise of no more protesting but that didn't mean she had to be excited about it.

Lily hugged Remus tightly whispering in his ear "This is the last time I leave you when you need me!" she kissed him on the cheek saying "Love you!"

Sirius grabbed his chest and bent his knees with a shocked look on his face.

Lily playfully slapped his arm. He straightened himself up smiling at her, which quickly fell into a frown.

Lily hugged Sirius "I'm going to miss you so much!" Lily said fighting back tears.

"Well be with you soon; I'll miss you more than you'll ever know." Sirius said with a half-smile.

Lily grinned and dangled her bracelet in front of him and said mockingly "Oh, I'll know!"

Sirius smirked and said "Don't be surprised seeing a lot of blue and green."

Lily looked a little more somber and said "Remember we don't come unless it burns! I don't care how dark it gets do not leave him unless it burns! Do not leave him Christmas unless it burns black! Promise?"

"Yes love, I promise." Sirius said narrowing his eyes at her. Sirius kissed Lily then playfully patted her on the ass and said "I've promised all my fun away now get your ass on that train woman!"

Lily laughed and headed for the train as she reached the door she turn back to them and said "You two stay out of trouble! Ill miss you both! Love you." then walked aboard the train.

Before she knew it Lily was back inside her childhood bedroom. She laid on the bed looking around thinking she needed to redecorate.

She sighed looking at the bracelet that linked her and Sirius together; it had been the palest blue since she had lost sight of the platform at Hogwarts. "Guess he really does love me." she mused to herself. "I wonder what those two jackasses are up to?" she thought.

Suddenly there was a small knock on her window. A beautiful tawny owl sat on her window sill; she opened the window and let him in, carefully removing the letter tied to his foot. She giggled in excitement as she opened the letter.

 

 

Love, we are bored out of our minds. We have decided to riot in Hogsmeade then go and rob  
Gringotts. We just wanted to know if there was anything we should steal for you? Just name it and its yours!  
Love, Padfoot & Moony

 

 

Lily laughed out loud. "Damn stupid idiots" she said to herself.

"Oh look the freak is home! I see you brought back one of your disgusting creatures with you." Petunia spat at Lily.

Lily spun around glaring at her vicious, jealous sister. Lily slid her way to the door and closed it so her parents couldn't hear what she was about to say. Lily had put up with Petunias attitude all she was going to, she would not embarrass Lily in front of Sirius and Remus. It was bad enough she had made excuses for her all those years to Severus, no Petunia was to be set straight today.

Lily stalked over to her sister giving her a look of death using her index finger to back her into the wall and in a deadly whisper said "Look here you jealous little bitch! I'm done with your shit! I have played nice with you all these years trying to feel sorry for you but I'm done! You will speak to me and my friends with civility or you keep your hateful mouth shut! It would do you well to remember my trace was lifted when I turned 17 and there is nothing but my will keeping me from hexing you!"

Petunia looked at Lily in fear and shock, Lily had never spoken to her like that. Petunia knew something had changed in Lily over the last year, she also realized her little sister wouldn't be putting up with anymore of her taunts.

Lily took a few steps back to allow Petunia to pass her, as Petunia reached the door Lily smirked at her and said "By the way sister, I can do wandless magic now! Mom and dad would never know." Lily looked over at the glass of water sitting on her night stand and it suddenly shattered.

Petunia turned white and ran out of the room. "Bitch" Lily muttered as she heard Petunia running down the stairs.

The forgotten owl cooed and reminded Lily she needed to respond to the letter.

 

 

Padfoot & Moony, I expect to have waiting on me all the jewels of Gringotts,

one of everything from Honeydukes, and every bottle of fire whiskey from Hogs Head.  
All my love, Lily

P.S. Don't worry about the bracelet unless it burns black.

Petunia and I aren't getting along so I'll be an emotional wreck until you guys get here. I miss you guys so much!

 

 

Lily loving placed the letter on the owls leg, pet him softly and whispered to him "I'll give you a cookie next time if you nip Sirius!" The owl cooed as to say he understood and flew out the open window.

The rest of the afternoon was relatively quite. Petunia was still an ashen color and refused to look at Lily. Lily laughed and talked with her parents, she had missed them greatly. They had been so wonderful in supporting her unlike her spiteful sister. They began discussing Sirius and Remus's visit after Christmas.

"Are you seriously letting her bring two boys home to stay in our house?" Petunia shouted.

Lily's father gave her a stern look and said "Yes, Petunia. Your sisters friends are welcome in our home and you will be on your best behavior. We understand that one of these boys is your sisters boyfriend and the other is her best friend. Your mother and I would like to meet both of them. They will stay in the guest room and you will make them feel welcome young lady."

Lily looked at Petunia with as much smugness as she could muster, raised her eyebrows and smirked at her.

Petunia excused herself and walked to her room, Lily could have sworn she heard her scream into a pillow.

Shortly after Lily excused herself to go to bed, the travel had been quite tiring. Lily was almost asleep when she heard the infamous crack. "Sirius and Remus! Why are you here? You two had better be quite, my father will kill you if he catches you in here." Lily said quietly without raising her head off her pillow.

"How did you know it was us?" they both asked in a baffled tone.

"I knew it was you two because, you two are the only ones daft enough to apparate into my bedroom!" Lily said tired now sitting up in her bed.

"I'm sorry love I had to come check on you. I didn't like your P.S.." Sirius said softly with a more somber tone.

Lily giggled as she noticed the fresh bite mark on Sirius's finger. "Guess I'll have to get that bird a cookie now" Lily said giggling.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her and asked "You told that damn bird to bite me?!."

Lily sat laughing shaking her head up and down. Sirius tackled her in the bed tickling her. "Sirius! Please stop! You're going to wake up my bitch of a sister!" Lily managed between laughs.

Sirius relented but smugly told her "This is far from over Miss Evans! Now what is going on with your sister? It makes it very hard to ignore this thing when its changing colors every 5 minutes."

"She's just a jealous bitch that I cant stand to be around anymore. She's so hateful. She's been this way since I got my Hogwarts letter and she didn't. I used to feel sorry for her but after these last few months I've decided to never let anyone hurt me or those who mean the most to me anymore. Family or not!" Lily said quietly.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other not knowing what to say. Finally Remus broke the silence "So you're ok then love? Just sisterly fighting? No one else has bothered you or contacted you then?"

"No, Remus its just my bitch of a sister. That's all, nothing to worry about. Now you two need to get your asses back to Hogsmeade and get my stuff! Were getting drunk the night we get back!" Lily told them.

They both laughed and asked "Are you serious?"

Lily looked at them with her eyebrows raised and said "I'm not joking! We are getting smashed the night we return! Trust me you'll understand after you've been here a couple of days."

Sirius and Remus shook their heads and laughed agreeing to secure several bottles of her favorite whiskey before Christmas. They both hugged Lily and Sirius kissed her making her blush. "Anything else before we part ways your highness?" Sirius asked mockingly.

Lily tilted her head and said "Yes, gather everything I need to start my animagus process so I can start as soon as the holidays are over. Do not argue! You promised!"

Sirius and Remus drew a deep breath then sighed "Ok darling." Sirius replied and with a crack they were gone.

Lily smiled and laid back down hoping to find peaceful sleep.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The next couple of days seemed to drag by, Lily had redecorated her room with more mature furniture, she changed the pink walls to red, she took down the childish posters and replaced them with photos, both magical and muggle. The room started to look like it belonged in Gryffindor tower instead of Spinners End.

Lily sighed as she started her last task to complete her new room. She sat on her bed with a black and green photo board, she had debated this idea for hours before she admitted that Severus Snape had been a huge part of her life and she simply couldn't erase his memory. Its better to embrace it, I guess she sighed to herself as she opened the box containing pictures of them from childhood until a few months ago.

Each photo held a memory; it was a mixture of loss, anger and love. I'll always love this bastard she thought. When she accomplished the task of arranging the pictures to her liking she welled up in tears as she opened her school trunk and removed the crumpled pieces of parchment with a single word written on each one. "Always." Maybe I should send him the definition of the word because he obviously doesn't understand it's meaning! Lily thought to herself.

Lily finished the board and placed it on the wall alongside the other ones of herself, Sirius and Remus. A small knock came at the door and her mother gasped as she stepped instead. Lily sheepishly asked "How do you like it?"

"Honey this is beautiful! How did you do this?" her mother asked astonished.

Lily smiled and twisted her wand in her hand.

Her mother laughing said "I'm sorry darling. Sometimes I forget how powerful you are. Sweetheart I came to ask if you can come help prepare dinner for tomorrow night. You know its Christmas Eve."

"Yeah mom I'll be down in just a few minutes." Lily said smiling at her mother who was still gawking at her new room.

When Lily was alone she cast a spell on the photos so they couldn't be removed by anyone besides herself or the person in them. That'll keep that bitch from destroying my stuff while I'm gone Lily thought. Lily took a long look at the photos that were causing her the most pain, frowned and bounded down the stairs to help her mother.

Severus had stood outside for hours watching Lily. He couldn't help laughing at himself when he momentarily changed her Gryffindor red walls Slytherin green. She had looked at her wand like it was broken for far too long, so he changed it back. Gods I miss her, he thought to himself. "I'd give my last breath just to hold her one more time" he muttered to himself.

His original plan had been to ensure she had arrived home safely, then promptly leave, that had been hours ago. He seen her leave her room and appear in the kitchen. He knew as long as the light was off he could sneak in for a few moments. This would probably be the last time he could ever enter her house. In just a few short months she would do as he had done and left Hogwarts and found an occupation. A sorry excuse for a job, he didn't want to think of that now. In this moment he was almost happy.

In one swift moment he was standing in Lily's much more mature room. Severus smirked, dear Merlin, she's brought Gryffindor tower home he thought. Simply standing in her room, smelling her perfume that always lingered was gut wrenching. He felt love, loss, anger at himself, disgust at himself and the ever so familiar stabbing pain of regret.

He quickly scanned the room, almost immediately finding all the pictures of Lily, Sirius and Remus. "What in the bloody hell is she doing hanging around the dog and the wolf, and where in the hell is Potter?" He muttered to himself. "Foolish girl is going to get killed around that beast!" Severus was infuriated at this point. Then he thought for a moment taking a closer look at the pictures. She was happy and to his knowledge the mutt and the wolf had never harmed her. He was the only one who had hurt her; Severus felt his heart breaking all over again knowing she probably hated him more than ever judging by her new friends.

Then something caught his eye. In the sea of that vile red color he seen it, Slytherin green, he approached the photo board she had place on her wall in his house colors and his heart melted as he scanned over what was on that board. All of their memories captured in photographs, they were all there from childhood to just this year. She doesn't hate me. She still loves me, at least part of her does. Severus soon found his favorite photo. It was a magical picture of them; it was 5th year, before all the bitterness and loss, back when it was just them. They were in Hogsmeade at the Three Broomsticks, she had a butter beer mustache, he had pointed it out to her and she started laughing like a fool throwing her head back, he was smiling at her trying to wipe it away as she laughed. Just before the picture stopped moving they locked eyes. Severus placed the picture in his pocket and once again conjured parchment and quill, wrote the one word he knew only she would understand, he placed the parchment into the empty space left by the stolen picture. His whispered "I love you" into the air and disapparated.

Lily woke the next morning smiling and giggling like a child. It was Christmas morning, even though she was almost an adult she still had that childlike excitement. She bounded down the stairs where her parents were waiting like always, coffee mugs in hand. Lily sat crossed leg in front of the tree waiting on Petunia to come out like always. After what seemed like forever Lily yelled "Petunia!" it only took a few moments for her sour sister to appear and sulk down beside her.

Within a few minutes the living room was covered in torn Christmas paper, everyone loved what they had received and thanked each other. Lily and her mother started to clean the mess up while Petunia went to her room to try on her new clothes. Lily reached under the tree for a stray wad of paper as she pulled the paper to her she noticed 3 more presents tucked tightly to the base of the tree. Lily picked up the one wrapped in shiny green paper and gasped as she seen the name. Lily looked to her mother with tears in her eyes and asked "What is this?"

Her mother looked at her with a small smile and a confused look and said "It's for Severus dear. I assumed he would be by this afternoon like always."

The pang of guilt and loss that hit her was indescribable. She had forgotten that she had never told her parents of their relationship or their falling out. Her mother looked at her still in confusion and asked "Severus is coming by isn't he?"

Lily didn't want to fall apart in front of her mother so she silently pulled herself together and did something she rarely did. She lied. "Umm... No mom, he wont be by this year, he decided to stay at school."

"Oh, well that's unfortunate. I was so looking forward to seeing him. He's such a dear boy; you couldn't have picked a better friend. Will you please put it with your things and take it to him?" her mother asked with a deep frown.

Lily looked to her mother with a sad smile and agreed. Lily gathered her gifts and the one meant for Severus and walked to her room with silent tears running down her face. She had only been in her room, sitting on her bed hugging her knees while letting the silent tears stream down her face, for a few minutes when the same tawny owl softly pecked at her window.

Lily sighed looking down at the bracelet and muttered "Damn thing needs an off button!" Lily let the owl in, took the letter, patted him on the head and gave him his well-earned cookie. She knew it was Sirius probably about to apparate to her front door at any moment.

 

 

Lily, Love what is wrong? I am very concerned.

I know I promised but I need to know you are ok.

It's Christmas, you shouldn't be sad. Please talk to me.  
Love you and miss you, Sirius

 

 

"This damn bracelet will be the death of me! He worries too damn much! Can a girl not be sad?" Lily said looking to the owl. While quickly starting her letter back to him.

 

 

Sirius, Everything is fine. DO NOT LEAVE REMUS! I am ok, just family stuff.

You're really going to have to learn that women are emotional creatures.

If you leave Remus and I'm not physically hurt I will strangle you!

Please calm down and stop worrying about me so.

Take care of Remus and yourself so you can be here with me. Give my love to Remus.  
I love you both and Happy Christmas, Lily

 

 

Lily gave the letter to the owl, the very content owl flew out the window and Lily was alone again.

Lily lost in her sadness glanced over at the green photo board, at first it was painful memories, and then she realized something was different. The board had been tampered with. "This is not how I left it!" she muttered to herself trying to figure out what was different. I warded it, no one but me and... she gasped. She seen it, the piece of parchment replacing a missing picture.

Severus has been here she realized, I just did this yesterday! When could he have gotten in? She glanced around the room but nothing else seemed to have been touched. "Fucking coward!" she hissed to herself. He can sneak into my room but he cant face me in person! If he's in Spinners End I'll find him she vowed to herself.

Remus chuckled as Sirius read him Lily's letter.

"Sirius I know you are well intentioned but I think you are being a little overbearing. Women are very emotional, especially around the holidays. You need to have a drink and stop worrying yourself to death. I wouldn't send her another owl unless my arm was on fire if I were you." Remus said looking half serious and half playful.

Sirius knowing he was defeated and Remus was right said "I know, I just worry about her. I'm worried that bastard will tell her about the baby!"

Remus gave a knowing nod and said "Sirius he won't tell her. He can't tell her. He would be putting himself on deaths door to even be seen talking to her. You need to listen to Lily, if she's not in physical pain then leave her be. I should be able to travel by tomorrow night, maybe the next morning. Calm down mate and have a few drinks. We only have a few hours until we have to leave for the shack."

Sirius sighed and rubbed his chin; he looked off into the distance for a moment and then laughed. He looked to Remus with the most amused look and said "What the hell happened to me? This time last year I was so smashed I didn't know where I was or who I was with. The only thing that mattered was where the next party was. Now I'm sitting here staring at this damn bracelet wondering why she feels this way or what's wrong! She consumes my every thought! Your right, I need to calm down and just have fun. I'm going to change shirts so I can't see this thing. If it burns I'll check it. When I come back were going to Hogs Head and get smashed!"

Remus smiled a genuine smile lifted his glass as to toast Sirius's words. In just a few short minutes they were inside Hogs Head ordering fire whiskey. Remus the ever careful one had already told the bar keep their cut off limit to make sure he got to the shack with some kind of sense left.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

Lily paced in her room not knowing if she was mad or hurt. The longer she paced the worse her emotional state became. "I need to get out of here for a while" she murmured to herself. She found her thickest winter clothes and told her mother she was going out for a walk. Her mother sensing her distress didn't argue.

Lily found herself wandering; she was thinking of Severus, every memory good and bad was floating through her mind. She found it odd that some memories seemed to blur or jumped but she played it off to her mixed emotions.

When Lily finally realized where she was she shook her head and said "You've got to be kidding me!" She was at the playground just off Spinners End where she and Severus had met as children. The same place he told her that she was a witch and that they'd go to Hogwarts together.

All those childhood moments, so innocent, she would never have imagined things between them would be this way. She wanted to blame everything and everyone for Severus's choices, everyone but him, so she could forgive him. She hadn't realized how much she missed him. She sat on the small swing that used to seem so big and thought, it's not all his fault. His father was an awful man. He was abusive both mentally and physically. He was raised poor so he never seemed to fit in. The very men whom I hold dear to me made his life hell. Those are all factors but it's mine and Voldermort's fault. It's mine because I wasn't there for him enough, I didn't love him enough, and I couldn't mend his broken soul. I waited too long to make him feel loved, the very thing he needed most and I withheld it for too long. Its Voldermort's fault for dangling everything he ever wanted in his face. Voldermort could offer him everything but love.

Lily sighed and said to herself I guess power and money mean more to him than love. Must be a hell of a drug, that or I never really meant that much to him. No! I know that arrogant prick loves me! He keeps leaving me the same damn note. Why bother if you don't care? Why would he give up so easily if I meant so much to him? None of this makes sense. I know my blood status isn't favorable to the Dark Lord but that doesn't automatically mean I'm marked for the killing curse. If he killed every muggle born then half of the wizard world would be dead. What am I missing? What changed so quickly?

Lily stood up and hugged herself trying to not think about how cold she had became sitting there. She decided to take the long way home, if I go this way I'll walk past his house she thought. Lily had walked a few blocks lost in thought when she noticed the beautiful church. She had always loved this church. It was the oldest and most beautiful building in Spinners End. She stopped in front of it admiring its old world beauty.

As she started to continue on she noticed a tall dark haired man sobbing at a tiny grave. He was all alone, she felt so sad for him, poor man crying alone at what looked to be a child's grave. From behind he looked a lot like Severus; she stood watching him out of pity. She began to feel like she was spying on this poor man and started to walk away but as soon as she heard the words "Lily please forgive me." in that low velvet voice she knew all too well she stopped looking around frantically. No one was there but the man at the grave.

No, it cant be she thought. Sev would never be caught dead crying in public. It cant be him. Why would he be at a child's grave and talking about me? Lily wanted to leave thinking it was her mind playing tricks on her but it was like she was being called to where the man stood. She couldn't explain it; it was a pull from deep inside telling her to keep walking toward the grave. The tall dark man was still muttering things to the ground she couldn't hear; he was oblivious to her approaching presence. She finally got close enough to read the headstone she let out an audible gasp as she read the name "Eros Siempre Snape." The dark man quickly turned around and she immediately recognized the gaunt tear stained face.

"Sev?" she questioned with a very confused look.

"L... Lily?" he stammered back.

"Who is this?" She demanded pointing at the small grave noticing the dates and the last name.

Severus froze. He knew he could not tell her the truth but he also didn't want to lie. Fuck! I cant tell her. How am I going to explain this? She knows I have no family! What the hell do I say? Shit! Severus scared and knowing he needed to get her away from here as soon as possible Severus took two large steps forward and disapparated them both to the guest house at Prince Manor. Severus had been staying here some and had already warded the house.

As soon as they got their footing inside he started casting spells Lily had never heard. It only took a few moments to have the house fully secured before Severus realized he was screwed again. He turned to see a very confused and pissed off Lily. Think fast Severus! You're a death eater for Merlins sake! One look at her and he lost every bit of sense he had. Trying to save the situation he gave her a curt nod and a coy smile and asked "Tea Miss Evans?"

"What in the bloody fucking hell just happened Severus? Why were you there and who is that?" Lily angrily barked at him.

"Miss Evans I see the animals you are running with have taught you some very colorful language." He said smiling at her.

"Don't you start with that shit! You left me! Remember!?" she spat at him.

His face dropped a little and said "Did I?!"

Lily didn't know if it was a question or a smart ass remark. It had been a long time since she had thought of their last conversation. She sat on the sofa rubbing her head trying to remember. It came back in bits and pieces. She couldn't understand why she was having such a hard time remembering such an important conversation.

################################  
"So whats the deal with you and Potter?"

"What the hell does it matter to you? You left me remember!"  
"You gave all that up for Voldermort!"  
"He was there when you weren't. Nothing was more important to him than me! We both know as long as Voldermort lives you'll never see me anyways."  
"I see you with those death eaters! You have chosen your life. I'm not a part of it, not now not ever!"

"Lily are you telling me if Voldermort were to fall tonight you wouldn't have me tomorrow? The boy you grew up with? The person who has been your best friend and lover? You would still turn me away if all of this were over tomorrow?"

"Severus those people don't exist anymore. You have sold your soul to Voldermort. If you brought me here to only question me about James Potter this meeting is over!"

"Lily does it matter that I haven't taken his mark yet?"

"One simply doesn't walk away from the Dark Lord, and you're not a branded man YET! Isn't that what you told me Severus?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I said Lily. So I guess this is goodbye then?"

"Yes Severus this is goodbye. Please leave us be."

################################  
Severus knew Lily was trying to remember their last conversation and he was begging Merlin to give him an answer to give her about her questions. He knew he couldn't put her off forever. He could lie and tell her that the child belonged to a mistress he had picked up after leaving her but he wasn't sure she would buy that. He knew she had seen the name and that it wouldn't take her long to figure out his true meaning. He wasn't sure of the memories Dumbledore had left her with, all he knew was that all traces of their child were supposed to be gone.

This was an impossible situation. I don't want to hurt her anymore but I cant have her in my life. I took this fucking brand and I've done things that will haunt me forever. Once again I must break her heart he thought as he hung his head in shame.

"Sev, what I'm remembering doesn't sound right. You asked me one question and I yelled at you almost nonstop. You said very little and from what I'm remembering you begged me to not turn my back on you! I know I was angry with you but this seems so petty for you to walk away and for me to tell you to leave me alone. I really cant even remember why I began talking to Potter." Lily said through sobs.

Severus knowing he must fix his mistake of letting her catch him at the graveyard put on his death eater façade in his low silky deathly voice laced with venom he began "Yes Lily, I begged you! I pleaded with you but you wanted nothing to do with me after you found out I was on my way to being branded. You shunned me and St. Potter was there to take my place, and you let him. I'm actually shocked at the lack of a diamond on your finger! He is so much better than I, isn't he? So good and decent everyones golden boy. Yes you picked him over me. So I said to hell with it and left! I went to Malfoy Manor and in a broken hearted drunken stupor I TOOK THE FUCKING DARK MARK! Happy now? You broke me to the point of no return. The child in the cemetery is the product of a miscarriage of some slut I was using to try to fuck away your memory. Now if you're done intruding in my life I will take you back to Spinners End."

Lily was shocked, angry and heart broken, she wasn't sure what to say or if she should say anything at all. This man towering above her barking at her with such venom wasn't her Sev. He truly was a death eater now. This was the first time she had ever been in his presence that she was scared. As meekly as she could manage she asked to be taken home. Severus started waving his wand removing some of the wards so they could apparate out. He turned to look at her; his face was cold and calculated but there was something in his eyes that betrayed that stony look.

Severus grabbed her by the waist and with a pop they were just a few doors from her house. Severus turned on heel to leave but Lily grabbed his wrist, he didn't turn around but he didn't walk away.

"Severus I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't love you enough or soon enough. I'm sorry that you had such a shitty childhood. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry you lost your child. I'm sorry you felt like Voldermort was your only way to happiness, but most of all I'm sorry you're gone from my life and that you hate me and blame me. Just for the record, there was never anything between Potter and I, he wanted something and I didn't. Just thought I should tell you that just in case I never see you again. I still love you Sev." As soon as Lily finished her last word she started running to her house.

Severus stood there with tears silently falling down his face feeling like the scum of the earth. All he ever wanted was her and she was far too good for him. He was the asshole and she apologized, apologized for things that weren't even her fault. Dear Merlin, before I die please allow me to make this right with her. Severus whispered to the sky then immediately disapparated.


	15. Chapter 15

Severus landed in Hogsmeade there was only one way to deal with this pain, a bar full of whiskey should do the trick. Severus walked into Hogs Head looking down at the ground hoping no one he knew would be around. It was Christmas everyone should be with their families, he could sit here and drink himself numb without being bothered. He made it to the bar, sat down and told the bar keep to bring him a bottle and a glass.

Severus was on his second glass when he heard a chair scrape across the floor and the words

"You fucking bastard!"

He smirked knowing the voice that had taunted him for years, with very little moment he grabbed his wand that was tucked in his robes prepared for anything, he heard footsteps and knew the mutt was walking toward him.

"Hey you fucking git! Did you not hear me?" a very pissed off Sirius barked.

Severus slowly turned on the stool smiled and with his calm velvet voice said "I'm sorry I don't speak mutt."

Sirius drew back to punch Severus but before the blow landed Remus grabbed him.

"Can you two not grow up? Must you always act like insolent children? I left Hogwarts and you still cannot leave me be!" Severus hissed at them.

"Leave you be?! What in the hell makes you think you deserve peace? Do you realize we have been cleaning up your mess since you decided they weren't worth your time? Yes! We're the shoulders she has cried on for months. We're the ones who had to make an unbreakable vow to lie to her for the rest of her life. We're the ones who sat by her bed worried sick wondering if she'd ever wake up! Where the fuck were you when she needed you? Oh... that's right. Off doing sick shit for that piece of shit you call master. Fuck you Snape!" Sirius spat at Snape with venom.

Severus was stunned, how did they know about the baby? Dumbledore swore it wouldn't leave the staff that knew and he knew Lily had been told not to tell anyone. "Fuck! Can this day get any worse?" Severus riddled with guilt hung his head in shame.

He was tired of lying. He was tired of living with the regret. He was tired of being alone and miserable. Severus never looked up he simply mumbled "I didn't want to do any of this. I never wanted to leave them. I had no choice; it was leave them in safety or watch them be killed."

"You are still a fucking coward Snape! You don't up and leave a woman in that condition! I don't give a fuck what you're facing! You abandoned them! A real man would have done whatever it took!" Sirius spat at him.

Severus so done with this miserable existence looked up at Sirius with pleading eyes "I did what I thought was best. I see that my best will only come upon my death." Severus handed Sirius his wand "I believe you know the curse Mr. Black. If it takes my death to make this right, then please by all means, I'm ready."

Sirius looked down at the wand that had been handed to him in disbelief. "This crazy bastard isn't joking. He gave me his damn wand!" Sirius looked back to Severus snarled his nose and said "I'd love to kill you but seeing as how it must take a tortured soul to give over his wand and ask for death, I think I'll just let you live. I'd much rather watch you grieve yourself to death than to make it quick and easy. But I'm fucking warning you if you ever come near her again I wont hesitate to kill your worthless ass!"

It all seemed to happen so fast the door to the pub opened, the three angry men looked to the door, there stood Lily her face contorted in pain with silent tears falling from her red puffy eyes with none other than Dumbledore himself standing behind her, the next sound heard was the clank of the two bonded bracelets falling to the floor.

Lily turned to run out the door but Dumbledore blocked the door. He looked down at her with a pitiful look and said "My dear we need to talk. All of us." He pulled Lily to him where she stood sobbing into his robes. He shot the three men a look of disgust. "I'm assuming you didn't know the bar keep is my brother Aberforth? I will also assume you had no clue she was standing here!"

Sirius started to walk toward them but Dumbledore held his hand out as to say stay away. We need to go somewhere private and secure. Dumbledore said looking at Severus asking a silent question. Severus nodded and told Sirius and Remus to side arm apparate with him. Dumbledore took Lily already knowing where they were going.

They all landed inside the Prince Manor guest house. Severus and Dumbledore both warded the house quickly. Lily was sitting on the sofa crying into her hands. Sirius and Remus stood on the other side of the room looking between the broken hearted Lily and the house trying to figure out where they were.

Severus quickly made tea but the only person he intended to serve was Lily. He slowly and timidly walked over to her and squatted down in front of her. "Lily please take this." He said in the softest voice he had. Lily looked up with her tear stained face looking into Severus's eyes, looking to see if he was the vicious person of hours before or her Sev. She saw her Sev. She knocked the tea out of his hands and threw her arms around his neck; all she could do is repeat I'm sorry in between sobs.

Severus placed his arm under her knees picked her up and sat them both down on the couch cradling her like a child. He whispered in her ear that it was all his fault and she had nothing to be sorry for as he gently caressed her hair. In a whisper meant only for her "I did this, I ruined your life and I'm sorry. I did everything wrong. I hurt you in a way I can never be forgiven. I'm sorry I said all those awful things earlier. I didn't mean them. I love you and I would do anything to make this right. I thought you'd be better off without me. I love you Lily and I'd give anything to be with you. I'm sorry I was so stupid."

Lily sat up looking deep into his broken, sorrow filled, loving dark eyes and knew he meant everything he said. "I forgive you. Whatever you've done, I forgive you."

Lily then spoke to all of them "I know there are things being kept from me and I don't want to know. I didn't hear everything that was said but I heard enough to know all of you are hiding something from me. I'm sure that for all of you to go to such great lengths and for Severus to feel like dying is his only redemption it must be awful and you've all had good reasons to lie to me. I can forgive you all for lying to me for my benefit."

"What I can't forgive is that you, Sirius Black shamed this man to the point of thinking death was his only option. I heard what you said. It was vile and cruel! No one in this room is perfect! He has made some mistakes but I'm willing to forgive him for them. That is my decision! If you cant accept that then I suggest you stay the hell away from me and if you ever speak to him in that manner again I won't for one second hesitate to kill you!" Lily said directly to Sirius with venom dripping off every word.

"Lily I'm so sorry. I was so mad at him for the pain he's put you through. I would never have actually killed him. I was just pissed." Sirius pleaded with her.

Lily looked at Sirius with disgust "Sirius you have drove me crazy with those bracelets, but had it not been for them I'd of never seen the true side of you. The only reason I was in Hogs Head is because that bracelet was burning so bad. When I walked in on you and seen how vile and cruel you were being I had to silently watch, I seen the side of you that you manage to hide well. Severus may be branded with a dark mark but with what I seen of you today you could easily get one as well. I saw the true Black in you."

Dumbledore and Remus were trying to let the love triangle sort itself out. They stood there watching and waiting on it to be over or explode. Remus finally spoke up Guys I know all of this is very important but I must leave. Nightfall is fast approaching. Everyone turned to look at him, they had forgotten.

Severus looked to Lily with a slight frown "You care about him don't you?"

Lily still looking at Remus shook her head yes and said "He's been my best friend since you've been gone. He cant help this."

Severus sighed and asked Lily to sit on the cushion beside him, as soon as she was off him he stood and disappeared down the hallway. He returned quickly with a vial, he then looked to Remus and spoke to him for the first time without distain in his voice "This is wolfsbane, it is very expensive and very complicated to make, and the aconite it contains can be deadly if mixed improperly. This will not cure you, but it will allow you to stay in human form during a full moon. It comes with a price; you will be very tired and typically it is to be taken every day for a week before the full moon. It hasn't been around for very long but I know this batch works with one large dose. The Dark Lord has me making it for Fenrir Greyback. Should you wish I will provide this for you when necessary as a thank you for taking care of Lily in my absence."

Remus stood there looking at Severus slack jawed. Not only had the man that despised him spoken to him in a semi friendly manner but he also was offering a way for Remus to live an almost normal life. "Ummmm... Thank you Severus. What do I do with it?" Remus stumbled over his words still in shock.

Severus frowned and shook his head annoyed said "Swallow it! Quickly!"

Remus nodded his head and without a second thought swallowed the entire vial. It tasted awful but if it meant he could stay human he would drink it all day every day.

Sirius was looking on in disgust. He couldn't fathom Snape doing anything nice for anyone. Sirius glared at Snape and said "You better hope that wasn't poison!"

Severus turned on heel to face Sirius and hissed "Mr. Black if I wanted to kill a man in a room full of people there are quicker ways and he wouldn't be my first pick."

Dumbledore had quietly sat with tea taking in all the events unfolding in the room. He noted each interaction trying to decide if this was the right idea. There was definitely a love triangle but he was almost sure that he knew where that triangle would end.

Severus was a death eater but he was also a man living in regret, he knew he was on the wrong side but he was trapped.

Lily was brave and almost as talented as Severus with potions, with her heart and head in the right place she would be back to herself quickly.

Sirius was impulsive but brave.

Remus was the thinker of the group and loyal to a fault.

He finally decided they would all be would all bring strengths with them. There would be some tension for a while but he thought they would all overcome it for the greater good. He just needed to talk to them separately, then together. "Lily dear aren't you supposed to be at Christmas dinner at your parents house?" he finally questioned.

"Yes sir, I'm sure they're waiting on me but this seems a little more important." She replied.

"Lily why don't you, Sirius and Remus apparate to your house and Severus and I will follow shortly." Dumbledore said looking at Lily with mischievous smile.

"Headmaster I really don't think that is the best idea. Mr. Black isn't someone that I think I can pretend to be friendly with right now!" she said shooting daggers at Sirius.

Dumbledore chuckled and stood to look more authorative "Miss Evans I am kindly asking you to do this for me for a greater purpose. I need all of you to come back with me tonight. I have something of great importance to talk to all of you about but we can't have your parents wondering where you are. Please go home pack your things quickly have a nice dinner and Severus and I will be there to rescue you in just a little while."

Lily drew a deep breath and smirked at Sirius "I will do this for you headmaster. Mr. Black don't you dare touch me while we are there. In a few days I'll be sending my parents an owl that things just didn't work out!"

Sirius dropped his head, Remus looked a little scared and Lily was pissed. Dumbledore chuckled at the three of them.

"Severus are you sure this will work? I don't want to hurt anyone." Remus asked in a very worried tone.

Severus knowing all to well the feeling Remus was having about not wanting to hurt others against your will gave him a small smile and said "You will be fine Remus. If it wasn't going to work you would already know it." Severus walked over to the window and pulled back the dark curtain to show Remus it was already dark.

Everyone in the room saw the joy that rushed across Remus's face. This was the first time since he was 6 years old he could be free on a full moon. Remus beamed at Severus "Thank you Severus! You don't know how amazing it feels to be free of that curse."

Severus gave a curt nod and said flatly "Maybe one day I will know how you feel."

Dumbledore clapped his hands and said "Now off you three go!" Severus and Dumbledore removed the wards that prevented them from apparating. Lily gave Severus a sad smile then with a crack all three of them were gone.

Severus landed in Hogsmeade there was only one way to deal with this pain, a bar full of whiskey should do the trick. Severus walked into Hogs Head looking down at the ground hoping no one he knew would be around. It was Christmas everyone should be with their families, he could sit here and drink himself numb without being bothered. He made it to the bar, sat down and told the bar keep to bring him a bottle and a glass.

Severus was on his second glass when he heard a chair scrape across the floor and the words

"You fucking bastard!"

He smirked knowing the voice that had taunted him for years, with very little moment he grabbed his wand that was tucked in his robes prepared for anything, he heard footsteps and knew the mutt was walking toward him.

"Hey you fucking git! Did you not hear me?" a very pissed off Sirius barked.

Severus slowly turned on the stool smiled and with his calm velvet voice said "I'm sorry I don't speak mutt."

Sirius drew back to punch Severus but before the blow landed Remus grabbed him.

"Can you two not grow up? Must you always act like insolent children? I left Hogwarts and you still cannot leave me be!" Severus hissed at them.

"Leave you be?! What in the hell makes you think you deserve peace? Do you realize we have been cleaning up your mess since you decided they weren't worth your time? Yes! We're the shoulders she has cried on for months. We're the ones who had to make an unbreakable vow to lie to her for the rest of her life. We're the ones who sat by her bed worried sick wondering if she'd ever wake up! Where the fuck were you when she needed you? Oh... that's right. Off doing sick shit for that piece of shit you call master. Fuck you Snape!" Sirius spat at Snape with venom.

Severus was stunned, how did they know about the baby? Dumbledore swore it wouldn't leave the staff that knew and he knew Lily had been told not to tell anyone. "Fuck! Can this day get any worse?" Severus riddled with guilt hung his head in shame.

He was tired of lying. He was tired of living with the regret. He was tired of being alone and miserable. Severus never looked up he simply mumbled "I didn't want to do any of this. I never wanted to leave them. I had no choice; it was leave them in safety or watch them be killed."

"You are still a fucking coward Snape! You don't up and leave a woman in that condition! I don't give a fuck what you're facing! You abandoned them! A real man would have done whatever it took!" Sirius spat at him.

Severus so done with this miserable existence looked up at Sirius with pleading eyes "I did what I thought was best. I see that my best will only come upon my death." Severus handed Sirius his wand "I believe you know the curse Mr. Black. If it takes my death to make this right, then please by all means, I'm ready."

Sirius looked down at the wand that had been handed to him in disbelief. "This crazy bastard isn't joking. He gave me his damn wand!" Sirius looked back to Severus snarled his nose and said "I'd love to kill you but seeing as how it must take a tortured soul to give over his wand and ask for death, I think I'll just let you live. I'd much rather watch you grieve yourself to death than to make it quick and easy. But I'm fucking warning you if you ever come near her again I wont hesitate to kill your worthless ass!"

It all seemed to happen so fast the door to the pub opened, the three angry men looked to the door, there stood Lily her face contorted in pain with silent tears falling from her red puffy eyes with none other than Dumbledore himself standing behind her, the next sound heard was the clank of the two bonded bracelets falling to the floor.

Lily turned to run out the door but Dumbledore blocked the door. He looked down at her with a pitiful look and said "My dear we need to talk. All of us." He pulled Lily to him where she stood sobbing into his robes. He shot the three men a look of disgust. "I'm assuming you didn't know the bar keep is my brother Aberforth? I will also assume you had no clue she was standing here!"

Sirius started to walk toward them but Dumbledore held his hand out as to say stay away. We need to go somewhere private and secure. Dumbledore said looking at Severus asking a silent question. Severus nodded and told Sirius and Remus to side arm apparate with him. Dumbledore took Lily already knowing where they were going.

They all landed inside the Prince Manor guest house. Severus and Dumbledore both warded the house quickly. Lily was sitting on the sofa crying into her hands. Sirius and Remus stood on the other side of the room looking between the broken hearted Lily and the house trying to figure out where they were.

Severus quickly made tea but the only person he intended to serve was Lily. He slowly and timidly walked over to her and squatted down in front of her. "Lily please take this." He said in the softest voice he had. Lily looked up with her tear stained face looking into Severus's eyes, looking to see if he was the vicious person of hours before or her Sev. She saw her Sev. She knocked the tea out of his hands and threw her arms around his neck; all she could do is repeat I'm sorry in between sobs.

Severus placed his arm under her knees picked her up and sat them both down on the couch cradling her like a child. He whispered in her ear that it was all his fault and she had nothing to be sorry for as he gently caressed her hair. In a whisper meant only for her "I did this, I ruined your life and I'm sorry. I did everything wrong. I hurt you in a way I can never be forgiven. I'm sorry I said all those awful things earlier. I didn't mean them. I love you and I would do anything to make this right. I thought you'd be better off without me. I love you Lily and I'd give anything to be with you. I'm sorry I was so stupid."

Lily sat up looking deep into his broken, sorrow filled, loving dark eyes and knew he meant everything he said. "I forgive you. Whatever you've done, I forgive you."

Lily then spoke to all of them "I know there are things being kept from me and I don't want to know. I didn't hear everything that was said but I heard enough to know all of you are hiding something from me. I'm sure that for all of you to go to such great lengths and for Severus to feel like dying is his only redemption it must be awful and you've all had good reasons to lie to me. I can forgive you all for lying to me for my benefit."

"What I can't forgive is that you, Sirius Black shamed this man to the point of thinking death was his only option. I heard what you said. It was vile and cruel! No one in this room is perfect! He has made some mistakes but I'm willing to forgive him for them. That is my decision! If you cant accept that then I suggest you stay the hell away from me and if you ever speak to him in that manner again I won't for one second hesitate to kill you!" Lily said directly to Sirius with venom dripping off every word.

"Lily I'm so sorry. I was so mad at him for the pain he's put you through. I would never have actually killed him. I was just pissed." Sirius pleaded with her.

Lily looked at Sirius with disgust "Sirius you have drove me crazy with those bracelets, but had it not been for them I'd of never seen the true side of you. The only reason I was in Hogs Head is because that bracelet was burning so bad. When I walked in on you and seen how vile and cruel you were being I had to silently watch, I seen the side of you that you manage to hide well. Severus may be branded with a dark mark but with what I seen of you today you could easily get one as well. I saw the true Black in you."

Dumbledore and Remus were trying to let the love triangle sort itself out. They stood there watching and waiting on it to be over or explode. Remus finally spoke up Guys I know all of this is very important but I must leave. Nightfall is fast approaching. Everyone turned to look at him, they had forgotten.

Severus looked to Lily with a slight frown "You care about him don't you?"

Lily still looking at Remus shook her head yes and said "He's been my best friend since you've been gone. He cant help this."

Severus sighed and asked Lily to sit on the cushion beside him, as soon as she was off him he stood and disappeared down the hallway. He returned quickly with a vial, he then looked to Remus and spoke to him for the first time without distain in his voice "This is wolfsbane, it is very expensive and very complicated to make, and the aconite it contains can be deadly if mixed improperly. This will not cure you, but it will allow you to stay in human form during a full moon. It comes with a price; you will be very tired and typically it is to be taken every day for a week before the full moon. It hasn't been around for very long but I know this batch works with one large dose. The Dark Lord has me making it for Fenrir Greyback. Should you wish I will provide this for you when necessary as a thank you for taking care of Lily in my absence."

Remus stood there looking at Severus slack jawed. Not only had the man that despised him spoken to him in a semi friendly manner but he also was offering a way for Remus to live an almost normal life. "Ummmm... Thank you Severus. What do I do with it?" Remus stumbled over his words still in shock.

Severus frowned and shook his head annoyed said "Swallow it! Quickly!"

Remus nodded his head and without a second thought swallowed the entire vial. It tasted awful but if it meant he could stay human he would drink it all day every day.

Sirius was looking on in disgust. He couldn't fathom Snape doing anything nice for anyone. Sirius glared at Snape and said "You better hope that wasn't poison!"

Severus turned on heel to face Sirius and hissed "Mr. Black if I wanted to kill a man in a room full of people there are quicker ways and he wouldn't be my first pick."

Dumbledore had quietly sat with tea taking in all the events unfolding in the room. He noted each interaction trying to decide if this was the right idea. There was definitely a love triangle but he was almost sure that he knew where that triangle would end.

Severus was a death eater but he was also a man living in regret, he knew he was on the wrong side but he was trapped.

Lily was brave and almost as talented as Severus with potions, with her heart and head in the right place she would be back to herself quickly.

Sirius was impulsive but brave.

Remus was the thinker of the group and loyal to a fault.

He finally decided they would all be would all bring strengths with them. There would be some tension for a while but he thought they would all overcome it for the greater good. He just needed to talk to them separately, then together. "Lily dear aren't you supposed to be at Christmas dinner at your parents house?" he finally questioned.

"Yes sir, I'm sure they're waiting on me but this seems a little more important." She replied.

"Lily why don't you, Sirius and Remus apparate to your house and Severus and I will follow shortly." Dumbledore said looking at Lily with mischievous smile.

"Headmaster I really don't think that is the best idea. Mr. Black isn't someone that I think I can pretend to be friendly with right now!" she said shooting daggers at Sirius.

Dumbledore chuckled and stood to look more authorative "Miss Evans I am kindly asking you to do this for me for a greater purpose. I need all of you to come back with me tonight. I have something of great importance to talk to all of you about but we can't have your parents wondering where you are. Please go home pack your things quickly have a nice dinner and Severus and I will be there to rescue you in just a little while."

Lily drew a deep breath and smirked at Sirius "I will do this for you headmaster. Mr. Black don't you dare touch me while we are there. In a few days I'll be sending my parents an owl that things just didn't work out!"

Sirius dropped his head, Remus looked a little scared and Lily was pissed. Dumbledore chuckled at the three of them.

"Severus are you sure this will work? I don't want to hurt anyone." Remus asked in a very worried tone.

Severus knowing all to well the feeling Remus was having about not wanting to hurt others against your will gave him a small smile and said "You will be fine Remus. If it wasn't going to work you would already know it." Severus walked over to the window and pulled back the dark curtain to show Remus it was already dark.

Everyone in the room saw the joy that rushed across Remus's face. This was the first time since he was 6 years old he could be free on a full moon. Remus beamed at Severus "Thank you Severus! You don't know how amazing it feels to be free of that curse."

Severus gave a curt nod and said flatly "Maybe one day I will know how you feel."

Dumbledore clapped his hands and said "Now off you three go!" Severus and Dumbledore removed the wards that prevented them from apparating. Lily gave Severus a sad smile then with a crack all three of them were gone.Severus landed in Hogsmeade there was only one way to deal with this pain, a bar full of whiskey should do the trick. Severus walked into Hogs Head looking down at the ground hoping no one he knew would be around. It was Christmas everyone should be with their families, he could sit here and drink himself numb without being bothered. He made it to the bar, sat down and told the bar keep to bring him a bottle and a glass.  
Severus was on his second glass when he heard a chair scrape across the floor and the words  
"You fucking bastard!"  
He smirked knowing the voice that had taunted him for years, with very little moment he grabbed his wand that was tucked in his robes prepared for anything, he heard footsteps and knew the mutt was walking toward him.  
"Hey you fucking git! Did you not hear me?" a very pissed off Sirius barked.  
Severus slowly turned on the stool smiled and with his calm velvet voice said "I'm sorry I don't speak mutt."  
Sirius drew back to punch Severus but before the blow landed Remus grabbed him.  
"Can you two not grow up? Must you always act like insolent children? I left Hogwarts and you still cannot leave me be!" Severus hissed at them.  
"Leave you be?! What in the hell makes you think you deserve peace? Do you realize we have been cleaning up your mess since you decided they weren't worth your time? Yes! We're the shoulders she has cried on for months. We're the ones who had to make an unbreakable vow to lie to her for the rest of her life. We're the ones who sat by her bed worried sick wondering if she'd ever wake up! Where the fuck were you when she needed you? Oh... that's right. Off doing sick shit for that piece of shit you call master. Fuck you Snape!" Sirius spat at Snape with venom.  
Severus was stunned, how did they know about the baby? Dumbledore swore it wouldn't leave the staff that knew and he knew Lily had been told not to tell anyone. "Fuck! Can this day get any worse?" Severus riddled with guilt hung his head in shame.  
He was tired of lying. He was tired of living with the regret. He was tired of being alone and miserable. Severus never looked up he simply mumbled "I didn't want to do any of this. I never wanted to leave them. I had no choice; it was leave them in safety or watch them be killed."  
"You are still a fucking coward Snape! You don't up and leave a woman in that condition! I don't give a fuck what you're facing! You abandoned them! A real man would have done whatever it took!" Sirius spat at him.  
Severus so done with this miserable existence looked up at Sirius with pleading eyes "I did what I thought was best. I see that my best will only come upon my death." Severus handed Sirius his wand "I believe you know the curse Mr. Black. If it takes my death to make this right, then please by all means, I'm ready."  
Sirius looked down at the wand that had been handed to him in disbelief. "This crazy bastard isn't joking. He gave me his damn wand!" Sirius looked back to Severus snarled his nose and said "I'd love to kill you but seeing as how it must take a tortured soul to give over his wand and ask for death, I think I'll just let you live. I'd much rather watch you grieve yourself to death than to make it quick and easy. But I'm fucking warning you if you ever come near her again I wont hesitate to kill your worthless ass!"  
It all seemed to happen so fast the door to the pub opened, the three angry men looked to the door, there stood Lily her face contorted in pain with silent tears falling from her red puffy eyes with none other than Dumbledore himself standing behind her, the next sound heard was the clank of the two bonded bracelets falling to the floor.  
Lily turned to run out the door but Dumbledore blocked the door. He looked down at her with a pitiful look and said "My dear we need to talk. All of us." He pulled Lily to him where she stood sobbing into his robes. He shot the three men a look of disgust. "I'm assuming you didn't know the bar keep is my brother Aberforth? I will also assume you had no clue she was standing here!"  
Sirius started to walk toward them but Dumbledore held his hand out as to say stay away. We need to go somewhere private and secure. Dumbledore said looking at Severus asking a silent question. Severus nodded and told Sirius and Remus to side arm apparate with him. Dumbledore took Lily already knowing where they were going.  
They all landed inside the Prince Manor guest house. Severus and Dumbledore both warded the house quickly. Lily was sitting on the sofa crying into her hands. Sirius and Remus stood on the other side of the room looking between the broken hearted Lily and the house trying to figure out where they were.  
Severus quickly made tea but the only person he intended to serve was Lily. He slowly and timidly walked over to her and squatted down in front of her. "Lily please take this." He said in the softest voice he had. Lily looked up with her tear stained face looking into Severus's eyes, looking to see if he was the vicious person of hours before or her Sev. She saw her Sev. She knocked the tea out of his hands and threw her arms around his neck; all she could do is repeat I'm sorry in between sobs.  
Severus placed his arm under her knees picked her up and sat them both down on the couch cradling her like a child. He whispered in her ear that it was all his fault and she had nothing to be sorry for as he gently caressed her hair. In a whisper meant only for her "I did this, I ruined your life and I'm sorry. I did everything wrong. I hurt you in a way I can never be forgiven. I'm sorry I said all those awful things earlier. I didn't mean them. I love you and I would do anything to make this right. I thought you'd be better off without me. I love you Lily and I'd give anything to be with you. I'm sorry I was so stupid."  
Lily sat up looking deep into his broken, sorrow filled, loving dark eyes and knew he meant everything he said. "I forgive you. Whatever you've done, I forgive you."  
Lily then spoke to all of them "I know there are things being kept from me and I don't want to know. I didn't hear everything that was said but I heard enough to know all of you are hiding something from me. I'm sure that for all of you to go to such great lengths and for Severus to feel like dying is his only redemption it must be awful and you've all had good reasons to lie to me. I can forgive you all for lying to me for my benefit."  
"What I can't forgive is that you, Sirius Black shamed this man to the point of thinking death was his only option. I heard what you said. It was vile and cruel! No one in this room is perfect! He has made some mistakes but I'm willing to forgive him for them. That is my decision! If you cant accept that then I suggest you stay the hell away from me and if you ever speak to him in that manner again I won't for one second hesitate to kill you!" Lily said directly to Sirius with venom dripping off every word.  
"Lily I'm so sorry. I was so mad at him for the pain he's put you through. I would never have actually killed him. I was just pissed." Sirius pleaded with her.  
Lily looked at Sirius with disgust "Sirius you have drove me crazy with those bracelets, but had it not been for them I'd of never seen the true side of you. The only reason I was in Hogs Head is because that bracelet was burning so bad. When I walked in on you and seen how vile and cruel you were being I had to silently watch, I seen the side of you that you manage to hide well. Severus may be branded with a dark mark but with what I seen of you today you could easily get one as well. I saw the true Black in you."  
Dumbledore and Remus were trying to let the love triangle sort itself out. They stood there watching and waiting on it to be over or explode. Remus finally spoke up Guys I know all of this is very important but I must leave. Nightfall is fast approaching. Everyone turned to look at him, they had forgotten.  
Severus looked to Lily with a slight frown "You care about him don't you?"  
Lily still looking at Remus shook her head yes and said "He's been my best friend since you've been gone. He cant help this."  
Severus sighed and asked Lily to sit on the cushion beside him, as soon as she was off him he stood and disappeared down the hallway. He returned quickly with a vial, he then looked to Remus and spoke to him for the first time without distain in his voice "This is wolfsbane, it is very expensive and very complicated to make, and the aconite it contains can be deadly if mixed improperly. This will not cure you, but it will allow you to stay in human form during a full moon. It comes with a price; you will be very tired and typically it is to be taken every day for a week before the full moon. It hasn't been around for very long but I know this batch works with one large dose. The Dark Lord has me making it for Fenrir Greyback. Should you wish I will provide this for you when necessary as a thank you for taking care of Lily in my absence."  
Remus stood there looking at Severus slack jawed. Not only had the man that despised him spoken to him in a semi friendly manner but he also was offering a way for Remus to live an almost normal life. "Ummmm... Thank you Severus. What do I do with it?" Remus stumbled over his words still in shock.  
Severus frowned and shook his head annoyed said "Swallow it! Quickly!"  
Remus nodded his head and without a second thought swallowed the entire vial. It tasted awful but if it meant he could stay human he would drink it all day every day.  
Sirius was looking on in disgust. He couldn't fathom Snape doing anything nice for anyone. Sirius glared at Snape and said "You better hope that wasn't poison!"  
Severus turned on heel to face Sirius and hissed "Mr. Black if I wanted to kill a man in a room full of people there are quicker ways and he wouldn't be my first pick."  
Dumbledore had quietly sat with tea taking in all the events unfolding in the room. He noted each interaction trying to decide if this was the right idea. There was definitely a love triangle but he was almost sure that he knew where that triangle would end.  
Severus was a death eater but he was also a man living in regret, he knew he was on the wrong side but he was trapped.  
Lily was brave and almost as talented as Severus with potions, with her heart and head in the right place she would be back to herself quickly.  
Sirius was impulsive but brave.  
Remus was the thinker of the group and loyal to a fault.  
He finally decided they would all be would all bring strengths with them. There would be some tension for a while but he thought they would all overcome it for the greater good. He just needed to talk to them separately, then together. "Lily dear aren't you supposed to be at Christmas dinner at your parents house?" he finally questioned.  
"Yes sir, I'm sure they're waiting on me but this seems a little more important." She replied.  
"Lily why don't you, Sirius and Remus apparate to your house and Severus and I will follow shortly." Dumbledore said looking at Lily with mischievous smile.  
"Headmaster I really don't think that is the best idea. Mr. Black isn't someone that I think I can pretend to be friendly with right now!" she said shooting daggers at Sirius.  
Dumbledore chuckled and stood to look more authorative "Miss Evans I am kindly asking you to do this for me for a greater purpose. I need all of you to come back with me tonight. I have something of great importance to talk to all of you about but we can't have your parents wondering where you are. Please go home pack your things quickly have a nice dinner and Severus and I will be there to rescue you in just a little while."  
Lily drew a deep breath and smirked at Sirius "I will do this for you headmaster. Mr. Black don't you dare touch me while we are there. In a few days I'll be sending my parents an owl that things just didn't work out!"  
Sirius dropped his head, Remus looked a little scared and Lily was pissed. Dumbledore chuckled at the three of them.  
"Severus are you sure this will work? I don't want to hurt anyone." Remus asked in a very worried tone.  
Severus knowing all to well the feeling Remus was having about not wanting to hurt others against your will gave him a small smile and said "You will be fine Remus. If it wasn't going to work you would already know it." Severus walked over to the window and pulled back the dark curtain to show Remus it was already dark.  
Everyone in the room saw the joy that rushed across Remus's face. This was the first time since he was 6 years old he could be free on a full moon. Remus beamed at Severus "Thank you Severus! You don't know how amazing it feels to be free of that curse."  
Severus gave a curt nod and said flatly "Maybe one day I will know how you feel."  
Dumbledore clapped his hands and said "Now off you three go!" Severus and Dumbledore removed the wards that prevented them from apparating. Lily gave Severus a sad smile then with a crack all three of them were gone.


	16. Chapter 16

The trio landed a few doors from Lily's house. Finally away from the ears of Dumbledore she could finally say what she wanted. "Sirius I cant believe you! You are really fucking twisted. You and James made his life hell but that wasn't good enough was it? No! You had to push him to the point of asking for death! What the fuck is wrong with you! I am so disgusted with you. I know you have been there for me the last few weeks but this is some bullshit that will take me a long time to forgive you for! I don't have to tell you that its over between us; I guess you got that memo when those bracelets hit the floor! I will be civil to you when I have to be but don't expect anything more of me. Maybe one day I can forgive you, if there is ever any hope for a friendship you will treat Severus with some civility and fucking respect! Do you know how quickly he could have killed you? He's a fucking death eater for Merlins sake! You have always looked down on him but today I seen who the bigger man was! He was willing to give up his life to redeem himself, over a few mistakes. Do not ever speak ill of him to me or around me or I swear I will hex your balls off!"

Sirius stood there wide eyed and feeling very small. He knew he had carried it too far and Lily was right, he would never have felt bad about it if she had never heard him. He still desperately loved her but he knew as soon as he heard that bracelet hit the floor she no longer loved him. He had fucked up big time and was not looking forward to what it would take to make her even like him again. "Lily once again I apologize for my behavior today. I was out of line and I cannot take back what I said. I will do my best to be civil with Snape for your sake. I still love you and yes I got the memo. I truly hope we can at least be friends again soon." Sirius said sheepishly.

Lily snarled at him and began to look around for Remus. She couldn't help but giggle when she found him standing in the middle of the road looking up at the bright full moon. She walked over to him and hooked her arm inside his; she looked up at the moon with him for a moment. "I know it's beautiful and I know you haven't seen it in years but we have things we must attend to. I'll make sure Sev keeps you in Wolfsbane."

Remus smiled at Lily and said "Thank you!"

The trio entered her house to a very excited mother and father. Petunia sat silently and nodded when spoken to. Lily made an excuse to run up to her room and magically packed everything in seconds. She bounded down the stairs to start dinner and pretend everything was fine. The dinner went well, she informed her mom that Severus would be by later, which made her mother even more excited. Dear woman has no idea everything that has happened today Lily thought with a smile on her face as she helped her mother prepare for tea in the sitting room.

After securing the house again Severus and Dumbledore sat for what they knew would be a lengthy conversation.

"Sir if I may begin, I feel you need to know that Lily caught me at Eros's grave this morning. In a confused panic I brought her here and said some rather vile things to hurt her to keep her away. I told her that the grave was a child that belonged to myself and a woman of ill repute. I'm not sure how long she will believe that lie but it was the best I could do in the moment. When I entered Hogs Head earlier I had no idea that Sirius and Remus were there. I was in the mindset that everyone would be with family today." Severus admitted to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore nodded and gave a quick grin and said "I'm glad you told me this. We will deal with the issue with the child as it comes. I think in time all of this will settle itself. I'm sure by now you have figured out I wanted you here alone with me. We need to discuss your future. Severus what do you truly want? Not what you think you deserve or what you feel will happen. I need you to be honest with me."

Severus drew a deep breath he knew exactly what he wanted but being in the middle of a war and being on the wrong side of it didn't allow him to even daydream about being happy. "I want Lily." He said in a small voice.

Dumbledore nodded his head already knowing the answer he would get "What would you risk to have her?"

Severus was a little confused by where Dumbledore was taking this conversation "My life!" he answered without wavering.

Dumbledore paced around the room for a moment "Severus would you be willing to be a double agent? Before you answer, understand your life will always be in danger; every breath could be your last. If you were to ever be found out you know well what Voldermort would do to you, it would not be a quick painless death. I know you have done some very dark things in his name and I also see what a toll it has taken on you. Should you decide to take me up on this offer the only thing I can offer you in return is redemption for your soul and when he falls I will stand with you at any and every hearing you endure at the ministry."

Severus leaned back in the chair thinking. He thought of how complicated it would be, he thought of the dangers, he thought about how he would have to be two different people. Then his mind wandered to Lily. This could be my second chance. He's offering me redemption. He's offering me a possible future free of this damn brand; he's offering me a life with Lily if I survive. Without a second thought Severus blurted out "I'll do it! What do I need to do?"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and asked "Have you thought this through? This will not be a simple task. The danger is great."

"Yes, I know what I'm facing, but if I live through it and we can bring him down I can have my life back. If there is even a small chance I can have a normal life with Lily I will do whatever it takes. If I die then at least I died trying." Severus said with astounding confidence.

Dumbledores eyes were twinkling a silly grin on his face he spoke softly and sincere "You know Severus I never believed in soul mates until I met you and Lily. I saw this written in the stars when you two first arrived. Although I must admit I didn't believe it until Lily wouldn't wake in the hospital. Her body was healed but her soul was not. I confess I waited to take her the parchment you gave me the day in the park. As a last effort I took it to her, placed it in her hand and whispered to her 'He still loves you' not a second later a tear fell from her eye. I knew she would awaken. All she needed was to know that you still loved her. You were her will to live. Apparently she is yours as well."

Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could he be that important to anyone? After all he had done she still loved him. Severus looked up and smiled a true smile he usually only showed Lily and asked "So when do I start and what do I do?"

Dumbledore chuckled and said "We'll get to that later. Right now I think we should probably go save Mr. Black from Miss Evans."

Dumbledore and Severus stood on Lilys door step giving each other an amused look before knocking. Mrs. Evans opened the door and squealed upon seeing Severus, Severus found himself clutched in a bear hug. Mrs. Evans now teary eyed placed her hands on Severus's cheeks "Sweetheart it is so good to see you! I was so disappointed when Lily told me you stayed at school for holiday."

Severus smiled at the woman who had always been kind to him and said "It's good to see you to Mrs. Evans." Dumbledore trying to make his presence known lightly coughed. Severus promptly introduced Mrs. Evans to Dumbledore. Being the quick on his feet Slytherin and Death Eater he explained he could only return for tonight by being escorted by the Headmaster and the Headmaster needed to speak with Lily, Remus and Sirius as well.

Mrs. Evans quickly ushered them into the sitting room where everyone was talking and laughing on the exception of Sirius, who was looking like a beaten puppy dog. Severus smirked at Sirius right before he found that Lily had ran across the room and launched herself into his arms.

Severus let out a small chuckle and asked "Did you miss me Lils?"

Lily blushed not thinking about how many people were in the room and how awkward it must look considering her parents thought she was dating Sirius. "Yes actually I have missed you! More than you'll ever know."

Severus kissed her lightly on the cheek and said "I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Followed by a wink.

Mrs. Evans made her rounds handing out peppermint tea and introducing Mr. Evans to Dumbledore. Everyone engaged in polite conversation on the exception of Severus mocking Sirius. "Im telling you, Mr. & Mrs. Evans, Lily tried to adopt the ugliest mutt anyone had ever seen. The thing had mange and no manners at all what so ever. Luckily for us, it's against school rules to have a dog on the grounds. "

"Lily! What on earth were you thinking darling? You could have caught anything from that dog or gotten in trouble! Whatever became of the animal?" Mrs. Evans scolding Lily.

"Oh, the mangy mutt is still hanging around but no one pays it much attention, Lily finally came to her senses that pity was wasted on the mutt. I explained the dangers of such mongrels to her." Severus chimed in to save Lily and to piss Sirius off a little more.

Sirius was fuming, Remus was trying to hide his laughter, Dumbledore was shaking his head smiling, Lily was in a laughing fit and the Evans were clueless.

"As lovely as this evening has been I'm afraid I must break apart the party. Mr. and Mrs. Evans with your consent I wish to take Lily back with me tonight. Our world has had a breakout of dragon pox and we need everyone with the skill to help with the potion to cure it. St. Mungo's is overwhelmed and need as much potion as can be made. Lily here can brew it in her sleep. It would be a great personal favor to me if you allow her to come with me." Dumbledore lied.

Lily's parents beamed with pride at their daughter being asked to help with something so important. "Of course. If she is need for something important we will allow her to go with you." Mrs. Evans said proudly.

Before anything could possibly go wrong Lily ran to get her things. She loved her parents and would miss them but she had bigger problems to deal with. Lily stood by the front door with her things "Is everyone ready then?" She asked impatiently.

Dumbledore nodded and with a flick of his wand her things disappeared. Everyone said their goodbyes and they were out the door. Lily lead them to the apparation spot then stopped when she realized she wasn't sure where they were going. They all stopped and looked at Dumbledore. Dumbledore looked to Severus and nodded. Severus nodded back and grabbed Lily quickly and apparated before he got stuck with those two again.


	17. Chapter 17

Once again they were all inside the Manor guest house. "Now that is over what is going on? You two are the only ones who know where we are. I mean it has to be safe considering Lily is being brought here by a death eater! So where are we and what's going on?" Sirius immediately asked.

Dumbledore lifting his eyebrows said "Calm down my boy. Where we are is of no importance. Why we are here is only known by me and I will get to that."

Severus warded the house while Sirius was ranting then found his way to a well-stocked liquor cabinet. He grabbed two bottles of fire whiskey and a bottle of brandy, followed by five glasses. He threw a bottle of fire whiskey to Remus as he was finding him more tolerable "Share that with your friend."

Remus nodded and said "Thanks."

Severus then handed Dumbledore a glass and the bottle of brandy. Dumbledore smiled and said "Thank Merlin, I don't think I can handle anymore tea today."

Severus then looked to Lily who was standing next to him, he winked at her and with that velvet tone whispered in her ear "I have this or a bottle of Strawberry Hill, your pick love."

Lily looked up at him narrowing her eyes and took the bottle of fire whiskey out of his hand, cracked the seal on it and drank straight from the bottle. "You can keep your cheap wine Mr. Snape" she said with a wink.

After everyone had a couple of drinks to smooth out the chaos of the day the real conversation began. "Now I know most of you are wondering why you're here. I am here to offer each of you a place inside an organization to fight Voldermort." Dumbledore started.

"All of us? Even the death eater? Really? You trust him that much?" Sirius spat in disbelief.

"As a matter of fact I do Mr. Black. Everything isn't always as it seems. Severus and I have been in contact on several occasions in the last few months. It may have escaped your notice but I am a legilimens. I know when I'm being lied to. Severus has yet to lie to me. He has held back the entire truth but he has never flat out lied to me. He and I talked while you three were at dinner. He was totally honest and sincere in his answers. So yes, I am offering him a way to redeem himself. I have faith in him and his intentions." Dumbledore answered sternly.

"Now the three of you have six months left until graduation. During this time you will go about classes as usual. I will make free time for you to work with different members to learn certain skills that will be useful when you graduate and become full active members, should you accept." Dumbledore informed them.

Severus decided to chime in "I am already in the Dark Lords inner circle. I have mastered occlumency and legilimency. I can walk both sides of the fence. I know I made a grave mistake. There isn't a day that has past I haven't regretted it. If the Dark Lord falls I am free of this damn brand and him. I want him to fall as badly as everyone else. We all have strengths that will play to our advantages. I can get inside information and feed false information. The Dark Lord is planning a war. It's coming either way. You may as well prepare for it."

Lily was feeling very useless and left out. She had no special talent or gift that was of any great value. Yeah, she was great at potions but Severus could make anything she could. She remembered her plan to become an animagus. She turned to Dumbledore and before she could say anything he simply said "Yes Miss Evans, I will arrange it for you and Severus both. Remus will help you."

She was a little shocked. She giggled and said "You must have been reading my mind."

Dumbledore just gave a knowing nod. "Well I'm in." Lily stated as she lifted the bottle of fire whiskey to her lips.

"I would be honored to help in any way I can." Remus said softly.

Sirius was leaning against the wall wearing a smug look he finally spoke "So we're all going to join an organization to bring down Voldermort with a death eater? Nobody has a problem with this? Everybody is just all forgive and forget?"

"Sirius you have been my best friend for the last 6 years. I love you like a brother but you are an asshole! Yeah Snape has fucked up more than once but we aren't exactly innocent either are we? We gave him hell every chance we got. He did nothing to deserve it. We bullied the shit out of him. Part of his bad choices are probably because of us. He has admitted his wrongs, apologized for them, offered to put his life at risk to help us and on top of everything else he helped me tonight. He doesn't owe me shit, yet he did it anyways. Stop being a prick!" Remus boomed at Sirius.

Lily wide eyed at Remus's outburst quietly said "Thank you for doing that before I did Remus."

Sirius hung his head knowing he was defeated but didn't say anything. He was still trying to decide if we wanted any part of this. Lily wasn't going to get over being pissed at him anytime soon and seeing her back with him was a bit painful. Remus did have a point though; they had been very ruthless to Snape for no reason besides they could. Remus had also warned him about Snape's ghost. I took a chance and lost he thought.

While Sirius was deep in thought Remus walked over to Snape and looked directly in his eyes and gave a true apology. "Snape, I am so sorry for my actions over the years. I was being a little prick with my gang of buddies and it was wrong. You didn't deserve anything we did to you. I hope you can truly forgive me one day. I also want to thank you for the wolfsbane. You gave me a chance at a semi normal life. I know you have a similar curse. I will try to help you get away from yours like you helped me."

Severus was stunned to the point of being frozen. He couldn't believe the wolf actually apologized and meant it. He finally regained his senses. "Remus I accept your apology. I thank you for taking such good care of Lily while I was off making my own mistakes. I am grateful she had you to turn to. I think we should call it even and start over."

Remus put his hand out and the two men shook hands and in unison said "Truce."

Lily was bouncing up and down giggling. "Finally! I can have you two in a room together and not worry about you killing each other!"

Everyone turned to look at Sirius still leaning against the wall in silence. He cleared his throat and said "I'm in, but I still have some trust issues. Only time will fix that. Snape, sorry for being a dick."

Severus nodded at him and said "Apology accepted, sorry for slipping you the Tentacula Juice in 4th year, and the laxative potion I slipped you several times, and for putting sleeping draught in your pumpkin juice last year on the morning of our O.W.L.S and for paying the elves to put fleas in your bed." Snape chuckled and took a drink of the whiskey.

Lily and Remus were wide eyed then burst into laughter; Dumbledore was even looking down shaking his head and chuckling.

Sirius sneered "That was you?! Do you know how many times I had to go to Madame Pomfrey?"

"Yes, actually I do. After the 3rd or 4th time she figured out it was me. I had to clean the ward every time you came in but it was well worth it." Severus was loudly laughing by this point; it was rare and everyone, even Sirius laughed with him.

The night went on well, they sat in the sitting room continuing to drink and tell of all the underhanded things they had done to each other in those 6 years. Dumbledore even chimed in a few times and told some rather shocking stories of his mischief.

Through the laughter there was a lot of healing. It was almost normal... almost.

The following morning Severus was awakened to Dumbledore lightly nudging his shoulder. He found Lily sound asleep on his chest. He looked over to the other couch and chuckled; Remus was sitting up with his head leaned back snoring with Sirius asleep with his head in Remus's lap.

Dumbledore must have found his potion stores because he was quickly handed a hangover potion and a glass of water. Severus gladly took both. "Better now?" asked an amused Dumbledore.

"Yes, much better. Thank you." Severus replied gratefully.

"Now my boy, while these three are still out we need to discuss some important things. I need you to understand that we need you to stay in Voldermort's good graces. I know you will have to do things that will be awful and horrid to not raise his suspicions. It is of the greatest importance that you maintain your façade. None of this will work if you are found out. The last thing I want for you is for you to be caught and not live through this." Dumbledore's voice laced with fear.

"I understand. I wish I had never chose this. Joining his ranks is one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. All I want is to be free of him and to be the man she wants me to be. If I live through this and can have her I shall never want for anything else. I'll do whatever it takes to be with her." Severus muttered solemnly.

"I know you will Severus. Just know that whatever he asks of you, do it without wavering. I will be right beside you after this all ends. I will make sure you are pardoned for your crimes." Dumbledore stated with a small smile.

"Thank you for giving me this chance. I know I probably don't deserve it. I have done horrible things. Things I'll never forgive myself for. I've hurt her worse than anyone will ever know and it kills me." Severus said disgusted with himself.

"Severus, she has no knowledge and she doesn't want any knowledge of it. She forgave you, now forgive yourself." Dumbledore told him.

"Sir, I have done things no one knows. Things I can't bring myself to even admit I've done. I can't forgive myself for what I did to her. I don't deserve forgiveness. She damn sure wouldn't forgive me if she knew all that I've done." Severus with tears rimming his eyes.

"Severus, I know. I knew the day I brought you from Malfoy Manor. I was reading your thoughts. Granted it was rather fuzzy due to all the alcohol you consumed that night; I know what you did. He was intentional, she was not. I also seen the disgust and despair you felt; the regret and heartbreak. It was a terrible thing fueled by years of torment, rage, despair, jealousy and alcohol. Had you done it with intent and a clear head I would have turned you in; that wasn't the case so I have kept your secret and will continue to do so. Now please Severus, forgive yourself and make yourself a better man." Dumbledore said quietly.

Severus sat stunned. He thought no one knew. "Sir.. I'm..I'm..."

Dumbledore shook his head and said "Forgive yourself. It was an accident. Trust me; I know much more than you think about accidentally hurting people. Now I don't want to hear of this again."

Severus swallowed hard and simply said "Yes sir."

"Now, I need you to do something for me and for yourself. I think this plan will help us both. I need you to come and at least take your N.E.W.T.S. I will not require you to return to school as a student but I do need you to take that test. I know you will pass them easily." Dumbledore said as he clasped his hands and looked to Severus.

"Sir, why must I take N.E.W.T.S? I passed my O.W.L.S last year with outstanding in every subject. I don't ever plan to work for the ministry or at St. Mungo's, why do I need them?" Severus asked confused.

Dumbledore had that infamous twinkle in his eyes "Professor Slughorn is looking to retire soon. He has told me every year for the last few years that this year was his last but he always returns due to no one else to fill his shoes. I wish for you to take his place soon. I can't think of one potion you couldn't make with a blindfold on. You will also take over as Head of House being the only Slytherin teacher. Before you tell me no, hear me out. You get to teach something you are incredibly talented at, you will spend a great deal of time at Hogwarts which will provide you with a great deal of safety, this opportunity will appeal to Voldermort, as he will have someone inside the school to look after death eater children and he will think you can push his agenda. I know this will appeal to him because he once wanted to teach at Hogwarts. He wanted the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. I refused to employ him even back then. He jinxed the position, that's why we never have a DADA teacher longer than a year. All of that aside, I happen to know Miss Evans plans to apprentice as a healer under Madame Pomfrey next year. You both will be in the same place soon enough. Do you need to think about this?"

Severus chuckled "I never thought of teaching. I'm not sure I have the right temperament for it. Then there's the ministry to deal with. It sounds ideal but I'm not sure I'm teacher material. I also have this death eater problem."

Dumbledore grinned and said "Severus you let me deal with the ministry. You haven't been a death eater long enough for it to be a well-known fact amongst the general public. I will send you a formal job offer when the time comes. You go to Voldermort with it and we will go from there. I do want you to take your N.E.W.T.S either way."

"As you wish. You will have to owl me the date to come. I have no clue when they are since I left school." Severus shaking his head.

"Not a problem my boy. Now I think its time to wake these three, heal their hangovers and discuss their future plans along with yours." Dumbledore prompted with a mischievous grin.


	18. Chapter 18

Severus gently woke Lily. She looked up at him with a groggy smile. Severus quickly put a finger to his mouth to let her know to be quiet; he then pointed over to Remus and Sirius. They both gave a small chuckle. Lily looked at Severus with a mischievous look "I have a camera in my bag." She quietly walked over to her bag and retrieved the camera snapping a picture of the two. "This will make great blackmail someday." She said giggling.

They then woke up the two boys laughing hysterically. Sirius shot up like a wild cat had been thrown on him and was crimson red in the face. Remus just looked confused. Severus made rounds handing out hang over potions and water. Lily started tea and coffee for them while Severus called Shelby the Prince house elf.

Shelby arrived with a small pop "Good morning Master Snape, how can Shelby be of service?"

"Morning Shelby. Can you please bring breakfast over for 5 people." Severus asked politely.

"Yes, Master Snape. Shelby will be very quick with it." With another small pop the little elf was gone.

Sirius looked confused "How did you call a house elf? Why in the hell was she so nice? That horrid thing at my house is awful!"

Severus was amused, it hit him that Sirius didn't have a clue that he was no longer poor. He had no clue that they were only in the guest house. No, Sirius has no clue I own the manor just across the lake. Oh, this will be fun Severus thought to himself. Severus never got to answer Sirius, Shelby reappeared with breakfast and that ended the conversation for now.

"Master Snape can Shelby do anything else for you sir?" the cute well dress elf asked.

"No Shelby, that will be all. Thank you." Severus smiled and the elf was gone.

Breakfast was over quickly; Lily went around gathering dishes and headed to the sink.

"Lily, I can have Shelby take care of that." Severus said trying to take the dirty dishes from her.

She smiled and turned so he couldn't grab them "No! I want to do something." She walked over to the sink sat the dishes down and with a flick of her wand they cleaned, dried, and stacked themselves. She giggled and clapped her hands, she turned to Severus "I've always wanted to do that but mom will never let me."

Severus smiled and shook his head. He walked over to Lily placing both hands and her cheeks, kissed her forehead and said "Whatever makes you happy love."

Dumbledore cleared his throat "Now that we have cured what ailed us and have eaten we need to discuss what will happen in the next few weeks. I would like for the four of you to stay here and teach each other things others may not know until Christmas holiday is over. Sirius, I know you can cast a patronus charm. You could teach the others who can't. Severus, I know Sirius and Remus could use some help with potions. Lily, I know you have learned a few healing charms. It would be a great benefit for you to teach these three. Remus, I need you to start informing Lily and Severus on the process of becoming an animagus. That is if you all agree of course."

"Becoming animagus?!" Severus nearly shouted.

"Oh Sev! It was my idea. I didn't know he would ask you too. I had already planned on doing it after Christmas holiday for Remus." Lily pleaded.

"Lily why would you want to do that? What are you two fools thinking letting her do it! You do realize she could be sent to Azkaban for this?!" Severus said shooting daggers at Remus and Sirius.

"Severus, calm down. Think about it. You two will never stay apart. Should someone see you in public together or anywhere in general it would mean trouble. Should people see two animals scurrying down a side walk they would never give it a second thought." Dumbledore placing a hand on Severus's shoulder trying to calm him.

"I suppose you have a valid point." Severus bit with irritation.

"So is everyone staying and helping each other then?" Dumbledore asked with his twinkling smirk.

They all looked at each other and shook their heads in agreement. "I will send over a few of each of your things to get you through the next few days. I shall return New Years Day to bring you back to school. Please try to mind your egos and tempers." Severus flicked his wand a few times and Dumbledore was gone.

"Ok we are stuck together for a week. I guess make yourselves at home. Should I have to leave the house is warded. You can't get out, no one can get in but me or whomever I allow in. It will ease your mind to know that this place is a secret to the Dark Lord. You will be safe here. I will have Shelby bring breakfast, lunch and dinner for us." Severus informed them flatly.

"Can we call Shelby if we need anything?" Lily asked.

Severus immediately called Shelby. The small pop came along with the little elf "Yes Master Snape, how can Shelby help you sir?"

"Hello Shelby, this is Miss Lily Evans. She will be staying here some. Should she call for you I want you to answer her. I want you to treat Miss Evans as you would anyone else that lives here." Severus instructed the little elf.

Shelby beamed at Severus like she knew a secret "Hello Miss Lily, can Shelby do anything for you?"

Lily blushed and shook her head no "Its nice to meet you Shelby. I didn't get to say hello this morning."

"It is Shelby's pleasure to serve Miss Lily while she stays with Master Snape." the little elf curtsied to Lily then looked to Severus.

"Shelby until we depart I need you to bring breakfast, lunch and dinner for four. We should only be here a week."

"Yes, Master Snape" with a pop she was gone again.

"She is so cute. I don't know if I can get used to being called Miss Lily though." Lily giggled.

"Yes that is odd. House elves always address people by their last names. Looks like Snape here has fell into some money considering that elf keeps calling you Master Snape." Sirius said with arched eyebrows.

Severus sneered "Shelby was inherited. She is treated well and appreciated thus her pleasant nature. You know Mr. Black if you treat them kindly they will be very loyal and kind creatures. You might want to try that method with your house elf."

Sirius scoffed and shook his head dropping the subject.

As the morning went by Lily taught the guys a few simple healing spells, how to mend broken bones, how to stop bleeding, how to heal bruises, and how to heal cuts. It was all very useful as Severus and Sirius wouldn't stop prodding each other Lily had finally had enough of the childish behavior and told them to beat the hell out of each other and get it over with.

Severus thought she was joking until he felt the sting of Sirius's fist across his face. The fight ensued, Lily and Remus stood back watching knowing they would quit when they got tired or broke enough furniture.

Shelby appeared with lunch as the fight was winding down, as soon as the little elf realized what was happening she screamed "Master Snape."

Before she could hex Sirius, Lily walked in front of her and squatted down to her level. "Shelby, I know it's hard to watch but Severus is fine. He needs to do this. Please Shelby leave them be. I love Severus very much and don't want him hurt either but they aren't using wands. They are working out years of childish behavior. It will be ok. I promise."

Shelby looked up to Lily wringing her hands with tears in her eyes "Miss Lily, can Shelby stay until I can see Master Snape is ok?"

Lily smiled at the little elf and grabbed her hand "Of course you can. He will be fine. I think hell feel better after this."

The two finally had enough of beating on each other and stopped. Neither man could claim victory as they both were badly bruised and broken. Lily thought it was fitting to make them heal each others wounds as punishment.

Shelby stayed and repaired everything they had broken and cleaned up their mess and took care of lunch dishes. "Master Snape, Shelby is glad you are ok. It was only at Miss Lily's request that Shelby did not hex your guest sir." The little elf almost sobbed.

Severus patted her head and told her "It's ok Shelby. Miss Lily was correct in asking you not to help. I needed to do that. You did just as I asked; you did as Miss Lily asked of you. Thank you Shelby."

"Master Snape, do you need anything else of Shelby?"

"Yes I do actually, come to my room with me please." Severus lead the way to his bedroom when the little elf entered he shut the door and cast a silencing charm. "Shelby, you know how much Lily means to me. I have spoke of her to you often. There may be times that she is here and I am not. If ever you see Lily in trouble while I'm away you do everything in your power to protect her. Her safety is your job while I'm away. Please keep a close watch on her for me Shelby." Severus said solemnly.

Shelby looked up doe eyed "Shelby knows how important Miss Lily is. Shelby will protect Miss Lily with Shelby's life."

Severus looked at the little elf in amusement "Shelby, why do you call her Miss Lily instead of Miss Evans?"

Shelby put her head down but mumbled "Miss Evans doesn't feel right to Shelby. Shelby thinks she should be Madame Snape. If Master Snape wishes I can call her Miss Evans."

Severus chuckled "No Shelby, call her Miss Lily. You are showing no disrespect. I was simply curious. Hopefully one day I can make her Madame Snape. Thank you for cleaning up our mess Shelby. You can go back to the main house and do as you wish until dinner."

"Thank you Master Snape." With a pop she was gone.

Severus sat on the bed thinking about how much he trusted that little elf. At certain points she had been his only friend the last few months. She always took care of him when he came home injured or drunk. She always listened to his stories about Lily, hell the little thing even cried with him one night after Eros had died. "What would I do without Shelby." He mused to himself before he got up and left the room.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Severus walked back into the kitchen where Lily, Remus and Sirius were lost in conversation and laughter. "What's so funny?" he asked amused.

"Oh we are laughing at Sirius. He is telling us all about your little fight like we weren't here." Lily informed him stifling laughter.

"Well, I'm sure it was quite a show." Severus smirked.

"Asshole. I think you broke my jaw." Sirius said smirking.

"Mr. Black I believe you struck me first. I was merely defending myself," Severus said smugly.

Sirius started laughing shaking his head in disbelief. It was odd the feeling he was having. He was still rather angry with Snape but he felt conflicted; somehow beating the hell out of each other had done away with the childish years of hatred. Watching Snape with Lily was heart wrenching but he could see they belonged together. Seeing Snape help Remus like no one else could out of sheer gratefulness made him see there was more to the git than he ever thought possible. And that damn elf, he had never seen a house elf so kind or loyal to a master. Snape always spoke to it with kind words; the house elf was more than just a creature to do his bidding. The elf knew of Lily before Snape ever told her to serve Lily and the elf refused to call her Miss Evans like any other house elf would do. Sirius was figuring out that the words Remus had screamed at him were true; I am an asshole and there is more to Snape than I ever wanted to admit. Sirius was lost in thought when the panic in the room brought him back to reality. Snape was standing in the kitchen barking orders at Remus clutching his left forearm. Just before Snape disapparated he called for Shelby and he was gone.

"What the hell just happened?" Sirius asked.

"The Dark Lord called." Remus said with a frown.

Lily was sobbing into Remus's chest. Remus got Lily to the couch and sat her down "Lily I know you're very upset but he will be ok. This isn't his first task. He will be back soon."

"What if he's not?! What if Voldermort has found out about him or me?" Lily screamed still sobbing.

"Lily darling everything is fine. He probably has to go Crucio some muggle and then he will be home. Please calm down. Sweetheart you knew he would have to do this." Remus said softly trying to comfort her.

"Knowing it and living through it is two different things." Lily sobbed.

"Miss Lily, Shelby has brought you tea." the little elf said meekly.

"Thank you Shelby" Lily said as she took the tea she didn't want.

"Lily remember what Snape said before he left." Remus reminded her.

"Oh yes, I forgot. Shelby, before Severus called you and left he said to tell you to go get Albus Dumbledore and bring him back here. Please." Lily told the little elf with a small smile.

"Yes, Miss Lily. Shelby will be right back." Shelby looked to Remus nodded her head toward the teacup, winked and with a small pop was gone.

Remus was a little confused by the elf but he did know there was something to the tea. "Lily dear, drink your tea. It will get cold and you will hurt Shelby's feelings" Remus said with a small chuckle.

Lily looked at the tea in disgust. She didn't want anything but Severus to be home. "You're right. I can't hurt the little things feelings." She said as she drank the entire cup.

The pop came and with it was Shelby and Dumbledore. Shelby went straight to Lily just as she was told to do that morning. Dumbledore looked around at the faces and knew immediately why he was there. "Voldermort called him." He said as a statement not a question.

"Afraid so." Sirius huffed.

Dumbledore nodded his head and cast a few extra wards on the house. "I will wait with you as long as I can." Dumbledore said solemnly.

Shelby was glued to Lily. The little elf would never disappoint Master Snape; no Master Snape chose to let her stay at Prince Manor after she begged to not be freed like he had offered. No Shelby was allowed to stay with her family, Master Snape was family now and he was very kind to Shelby. Shelby will not fail Master Snape. This is why Shelby gave Miss Lily calming draught in her tea. Master Snape will be proud of Shelby for taking care of his heart. The little elf was thinking to herself as she looked at Lily intently waiting orders. "Miss Lily, are you feeling better now?" Shelby asked beaming with pride because Lily was now quite instead of crying.

"Actually I am. He'll be ok won't he Shelby? He's done this many times and he always comes home doesn't he? He comes here doesn't he Shelby? You must tell me Shelby! Tell me he's always fine when he comes home." Lily begged of the little elf.

"Miss Lily, Master Snape stays here most nights. Shelby has seen Master Snape leave after his arm burns; Shelby always waits for him here. Master Snape usually comes home fuzzy, sometimes he has injuries but they are never terrible." The elf answered as truthful as you could.

"Fuzzy? What do you mean fuzzy?" Lily asked.

Sirius laughed, outside of Dumbledore he had the only other experience with house elves. "Lily she means drunk. Shelby here is very loyal to her master and is trying to make it sound nicer than it is."

"Oh, well drunk is better than hurt." Lily said flatly.

"Lily he will be fine. Trust me. He can handle himself. If you ever tell him I said this I will never admit to it; but he kicked my ass today. Without a wand I might add." Sirius chuckled.

Lily put her hands over her face and started laughing thinking back to those two idiots rolling all over the living room. "I suppose you're right. This is something I have to get used to. I can't fall apart every time he is called." Lily looked down at Shelby "What do you do while you wait on him?"

The elf looked up at Lily pitifully "Miss Lily if Shelby has finished all her work Shelby just waits."

Lily's heart broke for the little elf, she looked so worried and sad yet she would do anything asked of her. "Well tonight you wait with us. Come Shelby, sit at the table with us." Lily said as she grabbed the little elf's hand.

"Miss Lily it is not proper for Shelby to sit at the table with guests." Shelby said fearfully.

Lily looked at Sirius with an arched eyebrow "Is there a rule that says she can't sit at the table if she is invited?"

Sirius shook his head and laughed "No Lily, there is no rule. She is allowed or must do anything asked of her by you. You in a way are her master as Snape told her to do as you ask. If you want her to sit at the table she can, she probably won't be comfortable but if you tell her to she has to."

Lily looked back to the elf "Shelby, would you like to sit with us?"

The little elf bowed her head and mumbled "Shelby doesn't think it is proper. Shelby would like to stay close to Miss Lily. If it pleases Miss Lily, Shelby will sit next to her in the floor to wait on Master Snape."

Lily found herself angry. She wasn't angry with Shelby, she was angry that Shelby felt she wasn't worthy of a chair. "Shelby if that makes you comfortable then you may do that. You may sit in the floor or in a chair. I will let you decide which you feel better about." Shelby nodded and sat in the floor next to the chair that Lily just sat in.

Sirius could see Lily fuming "Lily, that is the kindest and most loyal elf I have ever encountered. It takes a well-loved elf to be that way toward a master. Elves aren't like people. They have their own rules. Their mission in life is to serve. She is happy, don't be upset. Most elves are beaten and worked every minute of the day. She has a good life and she knows it. She is showing respect the only way she knows."

"I will respect her choice. That doesn't mean I think it's ok that she thinks she doesn't deserve a chair!" Lily spat.

Sirius laughed, "You have a lot to learn in the wizard world sweetheart. Just let it go for now." The four of them got lost in conversation waiting on Severus to return. Shelby had left to get them dinner and returned with it. No one ate much. Shelby cleared and cleaned then sat right back at Lily's side to wait. For hours they waited. Finally in the early morning hours the crack came.

Severus landed in the sitting room. He sat silent holding his head in his hands shaking his head back and forth.

Dumbledore reached him first "Are you injured?"

Severus simply shook his head no.

Shelby approached Severus slowly with a glass of fire whiskey like she always did when he returned like this. "Master Snape." as she slowly moved the glass forward. Severus never looked at her, he took the glass and in one swift move it was empty. He handed it back to Shelby with a broken voice "Bring me the bottle, then escort my guest to another room. Do not allow them to leave." Shelby did as she was told. No one argued, not even Lily.

After the room was cleared Dumbledore left Severus in his silence and to his whiskey until he was ready to talk. Dumbledore knew something terrible had transpired so he waited patiently.

Severus finally after a half a bottle of whiskey found his voice, "He killed the Bones family. All of them. I did all I could; I was alone when I found Amelia and Edgar hiding in a closet up stairs. I hit them with a body bind curse and told them to never speak a word of this and if the door opened again to not open their eyes. I did all I could do. I'm sorry." Tears streaking down his face.

Dumbledore with a sad expression on his face placed his hand on Severus's shoulder "You saved two lives, two people will live to see tomorrow because of you. You did all you could. You did the right thing. Don't blame yourself for what he does."

"I'm fine. Someone needs to go get them. I'm sure they are scared to death." Severus said pitifully.

"Severus I know this is hard but you have done a great deal more than you realize. You saved two lives and by telling me this you have saved more. I now have an idea of whom he is going after and who needs to be hidden. You have helped immensely tonight. Thank you Severus." Dumbledore trying to ease his conscience.

"Please just go get them, and Sir until those three are official members I ask that they not know what I tell you about what goes on. We are just now patching things up and I don't think they will understand what I'm truly doing until they see it themselves." Severus pleaded.

"You are correct. I shall not tell them any Order information like this until they are officially members. They will only train until they graduate. I promise." Dumbledore said with a sad smile.

While Severus sat in the floor with his back against the couch trying to pull himself together before Lily seen him; Dumbledore prepared to apparate to gather Order members and quickly get to the two surviving Bones children. Right before he apparated he looked at Severus with a true look of admiration "I am truly proud of your bravery Severus." With a crack he was gone.

Severus was shaken, he had defied the Dark Lord, he saved two people in doing so, and the one man Severus looked to for true guidance was genuinely proud of him.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Severus gave himself a few more minutes to pull himself together, a few more minutes to change facades. When he felt he had composed himself enough to face those three and all their questions he called for Shelby. He knew as soon as Shelby came to him they would leave the room she was keeping them locked in. Within seconds they all were before him looking at him like he had the answer to the meaning of life. "Remus! Grab us another bottle!" Severus laughed.

Lily stood there slack jawed for a moment before she started "Really! That's how this works? You leave us for hours doing Merlin knows what and you come home and get drunk telling us nothing!"

Severus started to answer her but before he could get a word out here came Shelby to save is ass. "Miss Lily, Master Snape gets fuzzy. Would Miss Lily like a drink? Shelby will fetch it for you. Shelby thinks it will help your nerves. Yes, Miss Lily should get fuzzy too." And off went the little elf. The entire room was rolling in laughter on the exception of Lily who didn't know if she should laugh or be mad. Shelby made quick work of fixing Lily a drink and handing it to her with a small smile.

Lily looked at the drink in her hand and laughed "Thank you Shelby."

"Master Snape do you need anything from Shelby?"

"No, Shelby my dear you have done more than enough today. Thank you. We should be fine until morning." Severus said half chuckling. A small pop later Shelby was gone.

"Snape, I fucking love your elf." Sirius said while plopping across a couch.

"She's one of a kind." Severus said as he raised his glass to Sirius.

Remus and Lily looked to each other at the strange yet friendly exchange but didn't say a word.

"I am fine. I was not injured. What I did while I was gone is between Dumbledore and myself until all of you are official members. It will continue to be that way. Please do not ask, any of you. Now, yes when I have to go do shit for him I come home and get "fuzzy". It helps. I plan to sit here get "fuzzy" take a shower and go to sleep. Is that acceptable to everyone?" Severus stated with a fuzzy smirk.

The trio look at each other with a disappointed frown but accepted it and had a few drinks. Severus did just as he said he would he got drunk, took a shower but soon realized there was a sleeping arrangement problem. The night before they had all slept where they fell but tonight they had to figure out where they belonged. There were only two beds in the guest house and the Manor wasn't safe. "Lily you take my bed, I'll take the guest bed tonight and we will alternate sleeping on the couches and bed. Is that ok with all of you?" a rather drunk Severus asked.

"No it is not. I will sleep with you and they can swap bed and couches!" Lily said sternly.

"Lily I really don't mind giving you my bed. You don't have to sleep with me because you feel sorry for me." Severus slurred.

Lily was pissed. She drew a deep breath and said, "I am not sleeping with you because I feel sorry for you! I am sleeping with you because I love you! I lost you for months, I just got you back and now I have to deal with you disappearing for hours on end not knowing if your coming back or not! I will sleep with you if I want to! Now take your drunk ass to bed! I will be in there shortly!"

Severus was stunned into silence. He simply nodded his head and walked to his room passing out as soon as he laid down. Lily sorted out Remus and Sirius with a coin toss. Remus won the bed. Lily rummaged around until she found an extra blanket in a closet. Sirius was situated and she felt like a mother to some very overgrown children. "This is why I'm here. They need to be taken care of." She mused to herself before walking into Severus's room. Dumbledore had forgotten to send their things so she just slept in her shirt. She climbed into bed with Severus who had his back facing her. She slithered her way across the king size bed so that there wasn't anything between them that didn't touch. She carefully placed her arm across his stomach holding him; she kissed his bare shoulder and whispered "I love you" then fell fast asleep.

Severus awoke to a very odd feeling of weight on his chest, it wasn't the normal pressure of guilt and remorse he felt after doing the Dark Lord's bidding, it was actual weight. He reluctantly opened his eyes and slowly lifted his head to find red hair splayed across his chest. He smiled remembering Lily's little outburst the night before. He gently kissed the top of her head and simply laid there playing with her hair relishing in the fact he never thought he would ever experience this again. He mused to himself "Even if I die, these moments will be worth it."

"You better not die on me Severus Snape!" Lily said startling him.

"I'm sorry love, I didn't mean to wake you." He replied sheepishly.

Lily looked up at him, smiled, kissed him and said "Babe I have been awake for a while. I was the one not wanting to wake you." They laughed at each other.

"I'm so happy you're here. I never thought you would speak to me again much less wake up to find you in my bed." He said while running his fingers through her hair.

"Severus I gave you my heart. I forgive you. Just never leave me again. I don't care what we have to do, where we have to go or how hard it is, promise me you will never leave me again." She said on the verge of tears.

Severus pulled her closer to him and held her tightly "I promise I will never leave you like that again. I will never deceive you to keep you away again. We may have to be apart physically but I will never push you away again. I will do whatever it takes to be with you, even if it means becoming a loathsome animal. I am yours as long as you want me."

"Always then." She said with an arched eyebrow.

"Always." He replied sincerely.

"Good. We have that settled. Now when are we getting married?" she said giggling throwing a pillow at Severus and jumping out of bed.

Severus sat up in the bed looking at her shocked, he had no clue if she was joking or not. Lily slipped her jeans back on and started to walk out of the room. "Lily!" Severus trying to call her back.

Lily poked her head just inside the door "Get your ass out of that bed!" she winked and left again.

"What the hell! Witch come back here! I need to talk to you!" Severus yelled.

"Get your ass out of bed Sev! We have things to do today!" Lily yelled back.

Lily immediately started their day. She woke Remus and Sirius, then she called for Shelby, she started tea and coffee then made rounds to get everyone out of bed once again. It was noon so Shelby brought lunch. Lily finally had every one awake and at the table eating. For once there were no evil glances being shot back and forth, no snide remarks, and the tension in the room was minimal. Lily finally had the most important people to her in a room together and they were actually being civil. It was bliss.

"I do have a question. I don't understand where Potter is. You two were always glued to him growing up but I have yet to hear mention of him. Why isn't he here?" Severus questioned.

Lily looked to Remus then to Sirius then to Severus. Well there went my bliss she thought. Lily started to answer by telling the whole story but she didn't get out a word before Sirius spoke up. "He has chosen a different path for his life. After his injury he met the girl he plans to marry and well…. We stay in trouble and he's trying to straighten up for her. It's just been the three of us for a while now."

Severus arched his eyebrows and smirked "Potter has grown up?! You're telling me that the three of you are now the troublemakers of Hogwarts and Potter is the boy with his nose in a book?"

Sirius laughed "Something like that. Lily did sort of take his place when he told me he had to get his life together and pull up his grades."

Severus nodded rubbing his chin looking at Lily "The female marauder then, Miss Evans? I'm not sure if I should laugh or be upset."

Lily blushed then regained her confidence "Yes Sev, I cause mischief and mayhem everywhere I go! I thought you knew!"

Severus found it amusing, in the short time they had been apart Lily had grown up a lot. Merlin knows she had been through far more than she realized or deserved. She had changed, long gone was the little girl he grew up with. Now she was a fierce and determined woman who was far stronger than she would ever realize. Severus cleared his throat to swallow the lump that had formed there thinking about Lily and who she had become "Very well Miss Evans, but you two are responsible for her and her safety during any misdeeds you may decide to partake in." Severus looking at Remus and Sirius.

"Don't worry Snape. We never take her when we do the really fun stuff." Sirius gloated.

"Dammit Sirius, I told you not to tell her that!" Remus said poking Sirius in the ribs.

"What the hell do you mean! Leave me behind?! You assholes!" Lily whined.

Severus sat back watching them, at first he had been insanely jealous of Sirius and Remus but in that moment he was thanking Merlin for them. They had been there for her while he was away being an idiot. They had helped bring her back to life. They were teaching her things she needed to know. They were her friends and she was having fun and that's all that mattered. Severus frowned when it dawned on him that their fun would be over soon. They were clueless about what was coming. Let them have their fun while they can he thought. Dear Merlin I'm sitting in my house with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin being grateful for them, wishing them more time to be innocent and actually find I'm coming to like them. What the hell! Severus thought and let out an audible chuckle. The bickering at the table stopped and everyone looked to him. Severus shook his head "I was just thinking. What is on the agenda for today Miss Evans?"

Lily arched an eyebrow at Sirius and said "Patronus Charms!"

 


	21. Chapter 21

"Lils there's a small problem with that. It's not ideal to try teaching 3 people to cast a full bodied patronus in this small space." Sirius informed her.

Lily looked around. Sirius had a point "Well we go outside then!"

Severus immediately stiffened "Lily sweetheart you are not simply walking out the door unprotected."

Lily turned on heel to face Severus "Well Sweetheart" dripping with sarcasm "You are the only one with the privilege of knowing where we are. You said we were safe here. Why can't we go outside?"

Severus drew a deep breath and narrowed his eyes "You are safe! Inside the house! I can't magically protect the entire country!"

Lily rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip "You're telling me you don't know one spell that we could use to hide us for a few hours outside?"

Severus sneered at her "Yes, I do. You are safer in the house. I know you though you won't give up! Give me a few minutes! Insufferable witch!"

Lily smiled innocently and said "Thank you darling!" Severus went to his room closed the door and called for Shelby. "Yes, Master Snape." She answered. "Shelby can you quickly scan the grounds and make sure we are alone please." He asked the little elf. "Yes, Master Snape" pop and she was gone. Several minutes later she returned to inform him that she could find no trace of magic or other persons on the entire grounds. Severus dismissed her and grudgingly took them outside. He lead them to a beautiful flat area of lush grass he stood pointed his wand skyward and cast "Protego Maxima". He looked around suspiciously then finally let out the breath he did know he was holding. "Happy now Miss Evans?" he asked.

"Very!" she smiled back at him.

"What did you cast?" Remus asked.

"A charm to hide us from view of the outside world. No one can see or hear us within the barrier." Severus answered.

"Pretty cool!" Sirius chimed in.

"Sev where are we? It's beautiful here." Lily pleaded for an answer.

"Lily I'm not sure I can or should tell you. Just know you are safe here and enjoy it and focus on learning how to cast a patronus." Severus answered then kissed her on the forehead.

Lily rolled her eyes then looked to Sirius "Ok charms teacher. Get to it! What do we do?"

Sirius was the only one capable of casting a full-bodied patronus. Dumbledore taught Sirius and James in case they ever needed him quickly on full moon nights with Remus. Sirius wasn't the best teacher so he did as Dumbledore had done with him. "Ok, so Dumbledore taught me how to do this so he could be quickly reached in case anything ever went wrong with Remus. When he first taught me he told me that this charm was once only used to drive away dementors or other dark creatures but somehow he figured out how to send messages with it. First you have to be able to cast a full-bodied patronus. It will take the form of some animal that resembles something of yourself. We'll work on that before sending a message with it." Sirius said in his most teacher like voice. Sirius placed Lily and Remus where he wanted them then looked to Snape to direct him where to stand only to find Snape pale and looking at everything but the group. "Snape, You're supposed to learn this too man." Sirius said trying to pull him into the group.

Severus looked at him and shook his head "I can't."

Sirius knitted his eyebrows "Why not?"

Severus cocked his head to one side looking at Sirius like he had lost his mind "Dark wizards can't cast a patronus charm. I assume Dumbledore forgot to tell you that."

"You are not a dark wizard Sev. Dumbledore would never have asked Sirius to do this if he thought you couldn't do it too." Lily stated flatly.

"It must have slipped his mind like sending your clothes. I can not cast a patronus with a dark mark on my arm Lily!" Severus bit back.

"Lily call Shelby" Sirius directed.

Lily was confused but called for Shelby. "Yes, Miss Lily."

"Now tell her to go get Dumbledore." Sirius smirked. Lily gave a knowing nod and sent Shelby on her way.

"This is a ridiculous waste of time!" fumed Severus. Before they could argue about it further Shelby and Dumbledore were there. "Headmaster sir, can you please explain to these dunderheads that a dark wizard can not cast a patronus charm." Severus said with arrogance.

"Ah! I see why I'm here now. Severus is correct. It would be a grave and painful mistake for a dark wizard to try to cast a patronus charm." Severus looked at them smugly; arms crossed at his chest with his head tilted upward knowing he had proven his point. Lily, Remus and Sirius were all looking to Dumbledore like he had done something cruel. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he said "But seeing as how there are no dark wizards here I suggest you four get to work!"

Severus swiftly turned to the headmaster "Sir, I am branded. I can not cast a patronus!"

Dumbledore gave a small smile "Severus my boy, a dark wizard is defined by what is in his heart, not by markings on his body. You can and will cast a patronus. Now if that is all I was needed for I must go."

"Sir ummmm….. You forgot to send our stuff over." Lily said timidly.

"I did. I apologize Miss Evans. I will bring them later tonight. I expect to know what each of your patronus's are by then. Especially yours Severus!" Dumbledore said before chuckling and disappearing.

"Now if you will please stand here!" Sirius said looking at Severus with an I told you so look.

Severus was defeated and honestly a little scared. Lore told that if a dark wizard were to try to cast a patronus charm he would be eaten by maggots. He gathered his courage and walked over to stand to the left of Lily.

"Now you will need the happiest memory you have. I don't need to hear it. Just think about it. Concentrate on it. Let that memory fill you with happiness. Now take your wand and make circles with it; when you feel like you can't get any happier say "Expecto Patronum."" Sirius explaining the spell while doing it himself. Sirius of course produced his usual dog. Remus produced a decent size amount of silver mist. Lily almost had it and Severus produced a faint amount of silver smoke. Sirius was concentrating on his dog to allow the others to see that it could stay and would act as the animal would in nature. Sirius broke his concentration and the dog disappeared. "That was a very good first try! Lily you almost had it! Remus you're not far behind. Severus…..if it were going to kill you, you'd be dead. I seen the silver smoke. Relax and try harder."

After many attempts and hours later Lily was playing with her fox. Remus was watching his amazingly ironic wolf and Severus almost had it. "Dude. You are holding back. You are so close, it's like you are intentionally not allowing it to form. What is wrong?" Sirius asked frustrated.

Severus narrowed his eyes "I told you I can not do this!"

"The hell you can't! You are breaking concentration right before it forms! This would be like me fucking up a potion on purpose because I'm scared it would actually work! What the hell is holding you back?" Sirius barked at him.

Lily overheard every word and thought she had a good idea what Severus was doing. "Hey Sev! Can people walk in and out of our little bubble?" she asked smiling.

"Yes Lily anyone invited in or inside when it's cast can come and go as they please." Severus answered her.

"Sirius and Remus I think we've had enough of this today. How about you guys go in and find something for us to do tonight. Me and Sev will be in shortly." Lily trying to usher them off.

"Sounds good to me!" Sirius said and both men walked toward the house.

Lily watched until she seen them close the door on the house. "Sev, Sirius is right. I know why you won't let it form. You are scared of what it will be. You think you are some vile person not worthy of anything good or pure. You are wrong." Lily whispered as she was hugging him from behind.

"No, Lily you are wrong!" Severus said through gritted teeth.

Lily got on her tiptoes so her lips brushed his ear with every word "Then cast that fucking patronus and prove me wrong then!" she hissed.

"Fine! I will show you what an evil bastard I really am!" he shouted. Severus braced himself thought of the night in the cabin with Lily circled his wand "Expecto Patronum" he almost screamed it. He kept thinking of that night but wouldn't open his eyes. Lily gasped then giggled. The giggling made him open his eyes. "That's not funny Lily!" He spat as he watched the fox roll over on its back kicking its legs in the air.

Lily arched her eyebrow, pulled a smirk, drew her wand and said "Expecto Patronum". The two little foxes were now playing together. The laughter broke the concentration and the foxes disappeared.

"Let's try that again. This is impossible for us to have the same thing." Severus stated still in shock. "1…..2…..3… "Expecto Patronum"" There again were the two foxes playing together.

"Evil bastard huh…." Lily said as she leaned against him smiling at their foxes.

"Guess not…." Severus said kissing her forehead.

The clap behind them broke the concentration. They both spun around caught off guard.

"I told you." Smirked Sirius.

"Why do you have the same thing?" Remus asked puzzled.

"We have no idea." Lily shrugged.

"Mission accomplished! Let's celebrate!" Sirius said feeling quite proud of himself.

"You better be glad I keep a lot of whiskey around Black!" Severus said laughing.

"Oh, I am. I intend on you paying me in whiskey for teaching you that and gracing you with my presence Snape." Sirius said walking away.

Severus looked down at Lily "I can't wait until that little prick is under me learning potions."

Lily grinned at him playfully slapped his arm and started to walk toward the house. Severus grabbed her wrist pulling her back to him. She smashed into his chest; before a word could be said he grabbed her on the outside of each thigh pulling her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her hard and passionate, out of breath he pulled away and rested his forehead on hers still panting "Thank you. I love you."

Lily pulled back, she gently pushed his hair from his face so she could see those dark eyes she loved so much "I love you. If I do nothing else I will show you what you are worth. I'm not going anywhere Sev."

All he could do is smile, a true, happy, blissful smile.

"Come on we're missing the party" Lily said trying to wiggle down.

"You may as well stop. I'm not letting you go." He smirked at her.

"Fine then. Take me in the house at least!" she said with a fake pout.

"That I can do! Let's go see whom the weakest link is." he said with a wink.


	22. Chapter 22

Upon entering the house Severus and Lily were a bit shocked. They had expected Sirius and Remus to be up to something mischievous but they were met at the door by Shelby who ushered them into the kitchen where Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus were having dinner. "Master Snape, Miss Lily, Shelby has your dinner ready now." The little elf smiled at them.

"Thank you Shelby" Lily said while taking a seat.

"I understand everything went well today." Dumbledore beamed.

"Yes Sir, I managed not to die and didn't produce a patronus from the depths of the underworld." Severus chuckled.

"So I heard. A fox seems most fitting." Dumbledore smiled.

"How is that? Can you explain why Lily and I have the same patronus?" Severus asked being thoroughly confused.

"My boy a fox in nature is known to be cunning, strategic, a quick thinker, it can adapt to many things, they are clever and are quite wise. I see all of those traits between the two of you. Although, I believe the reason behind your matching patronus probably lies in the fact that your happiest memory involves the other one, in addition to the bond you share. You have complementary patronus because well….. simply put…. you're soul mates." Dumbledore enlightened them with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

Lily and Severus looked at each other shocked. Sirius dropped his head, letting it sink in that he had lost Lily forever at least as anything more than a friend. Remus was torn between feeling sorry for Sirius and being happy for Lily and Severus, he simply smiled and returned to his dinner without a word.

"I didn't realize magic worked like that." Lily said astonished.

"Lily dear, magic is much more powerful than any of us understand at times. I will never pretend to know the bounds of magic both light and dark. Dear child old magic like love magic is the most powerful and misunderstood of all." Dumbledore reassured her.

"I have a question headmaster, I noticed today that Sirius has a dog much like his animagus form and Remus produced a wolf. Would I be correct in assuming that Lily and I will take the form of foxes as animagus?" Severus asked with raised eyebrows.

Dumbledore chuckled "Once again ahead of the game Severus, it is most likely, yes you will. It is not guaranteed but highly probable."

"I can live with that I suppose." Severus sneered at the thought of taking the form of an animal.

Dumbledore pulled a half grin and slid a piece of parchment across the table to Severus with a wink then stood "You all have done wonderfully today! I suggest tomorrow you learn to send messages with your patronus and then Remus if you would please sit down with Lily and Severus and start explaining the animagus process. Sirius please help them understand the way they will feel at certain points. I brought your things, now I must be on my way." The crack came and he was gone.

"I got dibs on the shower!" Lily yelled as she ran to the bathroom.

Severus got up from the table and excused himself and went to his room.

Sirius and Remus were left alone in the kitchen. "How you taking all of this?" Remus asked.

Sirius looked over to him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow "How do you think? I want to be mad, I want to hate him, I wanted her to love me but I can't be mad, I can't hate him and I can't make her love me."

Remus sighed, "I was afraid of this happening, just not like this. I never thought I'd owe Snape a damn thing, now I feel like I owe him a life debt."

Sirius laughed, "I know what you mean. I was pissed at you the day you called me an asshole but you were correct. I am an asshole. I lost her by my own hand, she knew him better than we ever will. I hate admitting this but we do owe him, we were little pricks to him for no reason other than we could be and then here he comes with this magic vile of life for you; he didn't have to do that, she never asked him to, he did it all on his own. I have to accept things for what they are and learn to live with it. I promised her I'd love her no matter what and I will, she loves him and that means I'll help keep the git alive. Hell maybe one day we might actually be friends…."

Remus smirked "He's not that bad you know. He can't be. He has the unconditional love of Lily and Shelby. Plus you know he's promised me wolfsbane as long as he lives."

Sirius shook his head "I know, the damn elf kills me. Can you see Kreacher doing anything remotely nice? When I go there the little bastard is a hateful and I have to order him to do everything. Shelby pops in begging to do stuff and does things not even asked of her."

Remus and Sirius carried on with their conversation deciding that Snape wasn't so bad and they would try to befriend him instead of being arrogant prats to try to make up for the years of torment. They vowed to help wherever they could in keeping him alive for Lily's sake. (Or at least that is what they were telling each other.)

Severus sat on his bed holding the parchment that Dumbledore had left him with. He had sat there for what seemed like an eternity not sure why he was nervous about opening it. Whatever was written was meant to be kept between them, which meant it was probably Order business. He finally gathered the courage to open it.

 

 

Severus, I found it necessary to tell you that the Bones children have been

questioned by multiple aurors and Order members and neither of them have

mentioned you at all. I also wish to tell you that Minister Crouch has given

permission for aurors to use unforgivables on death eaters, giants and werewolves.

Your safety is of great concern to me. Please remember this should you encounter

an auror while doing dark work. Stay safe my boy.

Albus

 

 

Severus drew a deep breath "Wonderful! Now aurors are allowed to kill me on the spot!" he said to himself. Dear Merlin let this be over soon, he thought. The light knock on his door broke his thought, he threw the letter in the fireplace before opening the door.

"I need a hair brush!" Lily pouted.

Severus looked at her trying so hard to maintain his amusement there she stood dressed but her hair was a giant wad of red mess. "Lily dear, did it slip your brilliant mind that you are a witch?"

Lily narrowed her eyes "It may have."

Severus finally gave up and laughed at the mess that was her hair. With a wordless flick of his wand her hair was dry and beautifully straight.

Lily was amazed "How did you do that?!"

Severus kissed her and smugly stated as he walked away "I have learned many new tricks Miss Evans."

While Remus and Sirius showered Lily was rummaging through cabinets pulling out shot glasses and whiskey, then went to her bag to find something.

"Lily what are you looking for? Severus asked confused.

"Muggle money. I need what muggles call a quarter. I know I have one in here somewhere." She answered nonchalantly. "Found it!" She beamed a few moments later. Lily then proceeded to the kitchen table where 2 bottles of fire whiskey sat along with 5 shot glasses she positioned and filled 4 of them around the table then filled the glass in the middle of the table with whiskey.

"Witch what are you doing?" Severus still confused.

"You'll see. We have to wait on those two pointing down the hall." She winked.

Shortly Sirius and Remus emerged smelling and looking much better, wearing the same look of confusion as Severus "What is that?" Sirius asked.

"It's a game we are going to play tonight! I'm bored and this should be fun!" Lily said with a grin.

"How is it played?" Remus asked.

Lily got a wicked grin and began "This is a muggle drinking game. It's called quarters. How it is played is you take this, holding up the quarter, you bounce it off the table once trying to land it in the shot glass in the middle. If you miss you drink the shot in front of you. If you make it you can pick anyone to take a shot. Here, I'll go first." Lily looked at the table with great concentration, tossed the quarter at the table, it bounced once and landed perfectly inside the shot glass. With a wicked grin spread across her face she looked at each of them finally landing on Severus. "Drink up love!" she snickered.

Severus arched an eyebrow and took the shot. "I suppose it is my turn now?" he asked.

Lily shook her head and the game began. Lily was particularly good at the game while the guys weren't so lucky. The few shots that were actually made all seemed to go to Severus. Within an hour the two bottles were gone and a third had been opened. They laughed and picked at each other they forgot about the outside world, there was no war raging, there was no Dark Lord, there was no Hogwarts or even childhood resentment. Just four friends drinking and laughing.

They played until they found that they could barely stand much less get anywhere near the shot glass in the middle of the table. By the early morning hours they found themselves in the living room. Severus was on the couch with Lily sitting in the floor between his legs. Remus and Sirius were across from them. They all had far exceeded their limits of alcohol especially Severus.

"Rrrreeemmuusss we neeed to find you a girrrllllfriend!" Lily slurred

Remus laughed "Lilsss, nobody wantsss to marry a damn werewolfff."

"Don't feel bad Remus nobody wantsss to marry a witch with ugly ass scarsss that can't have babiessss either." Lily said with a hiccup.

"Thatsss not true Lily and you fuckin' know it!" Severus trying to hide how intoxicated he was.

"Yes it is! I'll end up alone with 50 damn cats!" Lily said slightly plainer.

"Lily nobody gives a damn that you can't have children. Who wantsss little shitheadsss running around anywayssss." Sirius chimed in laughing.

"I wanted little shitheadsss" Lily bit back.

"Lily I don't want any little shitheadsss but I'll marry you right now and we can adopt all the little shitheadsss you want." Severus said proudly.

Lily laughed but it was a bitter laugh "You won't marryyy me. No one will."

"I will dammit! Right now!" Severus said as he stood and pulled her up to look at her in the eyes. "Dammit I love you! I will marry you right now! Drunk, sober, death eater or saint! If you want me I will!"

"Really?" Lily asked tears rimming her eyes.

"Well shit lets do this then!" Sirius said as he stood and grabbed his wand. "Remus get your ass over here! We havin' a wedding" They all laughed at their mock wedding Sirius was conducting "Remus your over here by Lils, you're her person."

Remus laughed and staggered over to Lily somehow conjuring flowers he conjured a bouquet of white lilies for Lily and red roses for him to hold.

"Good Remus took care of the flowers….. those clothes won't do… nope…." With a flick of his wand Lily was in a beautiful white gown and Severus in a black tux. "Much better…. Oh, no Remus…. We must fix you…." With another flick Remus was in a pink tux.

"You fucking asshole." Remus said laughing at himself.

"Oh…. I look like shit don't I?! Well lets fix this!" Sirius was now in a black suit. "Now we need Shelby! Shessss gonna take the picturesss. One of you call her!" Sirius slurred pointing at Severus and Lily.

Lily was laughing so hard at Sirius's fake wedding for her she couldn't talk. Severus was laughing at Lily for laughing so hard but managed the word "Shelby". With a pop there stood the very confused elf.

"There she is! Hey little cute adorable elf can you find a camera and take pictures for us? These two are gettin' married!" Sirius slurred and chuckled at the smiling elf. "Yes Sir, Shelby will be right back."

"I swear to Merlin if you show anyone these pictures I will strangle you!" Remus said still laughing at his pink attire.

Shelby returned with a camera and a velvet box she handed to Severus. Severus arched an eyebrow and asked "What is this?"

"The Prince family ring, Sir" the little elf replied.

"YES! We can't have a wedding without rings! I love you Shelby!" Sirius slurred patting Shelby on the head. "Now we begin! You two grab each other by your left wrist!" Sirius commanded.

Lily and Severus contained their laughter and did as Sirius told them.

"Now, Do you Lily Evans take Severus Snape as your Wizard, Best Friend, and Soul Mate? Do you promise you will love him until your dying breath through good times and bad? Through sickness and the Dark Lord you promise to stay by his side, love him unconditionally no matter how many times he screws up, and remain forever faithful to him?" Sirius questioned slurring almost every word.

"I do!" Lily said with confidence she never knew she had.

"Great! NOW! Do you Severus Snape take Lily Evans as your Witch, Best Friend, and Soul Mate? Do you promise you will love her until your dying breath through good times and bad? Through sickness and the Dark Lord you promise to stay by her side, love her unconditionally no matter how insufferable she is, to protect her at all costs and remain forever faithful to her?" Sirius once again slurring.

"I do" slipped from Severus's mouth like velvet.

Sirius waved his wand over their joined wrists but never said an audible word. "I now pronounce you Master and Madame Snape! You may kiss your bride!" Sirius said before falling in the floor laughing.

Severus and Lily shared a kiss passionate enough to make the whole room blush. Then Severus picked up Lily bridal style "Come Madame Snape lets make this official!" Severus said laughing at their mock wedding.

"Oh Merlin I don't want to hear this!" Sirius whined

"Sleep in here on the other couch and I'll cast a silencing spell around us. Give them tonight. That was fun. Except for this damn pink tux you asshole!" Remus said swatting Sirius on the back of the head.

Sirius just laughed and said "Wait until tomorrow!"


	23. Chapter 23

Severus was awakened to a rather hard smack to the back of his head. "What the hell!" he exclaimed as he rolled over to see his very angry looking mother.

"Severus I will give you one minute exactly to get decent and meet me in the kitchen!" Eileen hissed in a whisper.

Dear Merlin what is that woman so angry about Severus thought as he gently eased himself away from Lily's grip to get out of bed without waking her. Severus threw on the pants Sirius had conjured him the night before and grabbed a shirt from the closet then went on his death march to his angry mother. "Good morning to you too mother." He said with a fake grin rubbing the back of his head.

"After what you did last night you should be grateful I didn't hex you into oblivion!" Eileen bit with a very hurt look.

"Mother the only thing I did last night was great drunk and well…. Lily isn't exactly a shock. I am a grown man after all." Severus still not understanding his mother's wrath.

"Yes, yes you are a grown man. MAN being the key word. I thought I had raised you better but I guess I didn't. You are as thoughtless and cruel as any other man I've ever encountered." Eileen said holding back tears.

"Mother you can't possibly be this upset over me being with Lily. How did you even find out she was here? I haven't seen you since grandfather's funeral. Shelby hasn't made mention of you staying in the manor. The last post I received from you, you were in Paris." Severus not understanding his mothers emotional state and harsh words.

"Severus Snape I don't care if I am on the other side of the Earth! I expect to be notified of my only child's life altering decisions before they are made!" Eileen bit.

"Mum I didn't realize that it meant so much to you to know when I got a girlfriend. I don't understand how that is life altering." Severus said almost sarcastically.

Eileen let out a bitter laugh "Girlfriend….. Just how drunk did you get last night and what exactly happened?"

"Ok mother I will recount my life altering day for you. I learned how to cast a patronus charm. Which happens to be a fox that matches Lily's. Then Dumbledore stopped by to bring my company their things and then we played a muggle drinking game. We all consumed far too much whiskey. We were talking in the sitting room and Lily got upset about herself thinking no one would marry her. I told her that I would and one of my very drunk guests put on a fake wedding for us to make her feel better. Then we…..ummm….. went to bed." Severus stumbling over the last sentence blushing at the memory of the night before.

"A fake wedding!" Eileen said in disbelief.

"Yes mother, he was drunk and never said a word while waving his wand over us. Lily was upset and she means the world to all of us, so yes we in a drunken stupor, had a fake wedding. You never answered me as to how you even found out she was staying here." Severus said right before he consumed his hang over potion.

"Well my dear child I was getting dressed this morning and noticed that something very special to me was missing. A black velvet box was missing from its usually spot on my vanity. I apparated here begging Merlin it was here for some reason. Shelby met me in the manor and when I asked her about it, she informed me that she brought it to you last night! That is when I came to see my dear child that I know is staying in the guest house because he finds the manor to large. When I walked into your room my question was answered for the most part." Eileen stated still rather emotional.

"Oh yes, I apologize mother. I have the box. Shelby brought it to me last night when Sirius sent her for a camera. I put it in my pocket. I had no clue where she got it from or why she brought it but I never even opened the box." Severus said as he reached into his pocket pulling out the black velvet box from the night before and handing it to his mother. As he let go of the box he remembered what Shelby had told him the night before. "Merlin mother! I understand now!" he chuckled. "You thought I got married last night didn't you! I just remembered Shelby telling me what is in the box! I was so confused as to why you were so angry with me. It was fake mother. I apologize for upsetting you like that."

Eileen let out another bitter yet sad laugh "Fake huh…." Eileen pushed the box across the table "Open the box Severus!"

Severus knitted his eyebrows and picked up the box and opened it to find it empty. He looked at his mother confused "Mother there isn't anything in here. Shelby said it was the Prince family rings. I swear I never opened the box. I have no clue how they could have gotten lost!"

"Yes that box has held those rings since my mother passed away. She knew what true love was. They weren't presented to me because your father never really loved me. They only present themselves in true love when a Prince heir marries. They are not lost Severus." Eileen said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm sorry mum, I'm sorry about my father but I must admit I am confused. How are they not lost if the box is empty?" Severus fearing somehow he had lost a family heirloom.

Eileen now understood Severus was clueless and had never meant to hurt her but her son was a moron at times. She stood walked over to Severus, kissed him on the cheek, whispered, "I love you, my son.", then slapped him on the back of the head again "Look at your left hand you dunderhead!"

Severus looked down to his left hand and there on his ring finger sat a white gold wedding band with a snake with a ruby eye coiled around an embedded emerald. "Mother I swear I did not put this on!" He looked at her shocked.

Eileen smirked over her teacup "I know you didn't. You can't take it off either."

"What do you mean?" Severus said now in a panic.

"I told you they only present themselves to true love. Seeing as how your brain still isn't functioning properly let me explain this to you. See that fake wedding last night….. wasn't fake my son. You are now married. Lily is now Madame Snape. Her rings are beautiful by the way. I saw it before I slapped you. Once those rings present themselves and are on your finger they do not come off until one of you dies. If one of you should die they both can be removed as your vow has been fulfilled to love them until death. Only then are you allowed to marry another. The rings change each time they are passed down, their appearance will match the wearer and their spouse. The emerald and snake represents your Slytherin heritage and the ruby eye is a representation of Lily being of Gryffindor."

"Mother this can not be. Sirius never said a word last night when he waved his wand over us. This has to be a mistake." Severus now in full-blown panic.

"Severus I will assume you are referring to Sirius Black. Black! He comes from a pureblood family full of Slytherins. Do you think you were the only child to attend Hogwarts that was taught nonverbal spells before you ever entered those castle doors?" Eileen now finding Severus's panicked look quite amusing after what he had put her through this morning.

"Oh Merlin, I'm going to be sick. Lily is going to be livid. We thought it was a joke. I cannot do anything right. Do you know how mad she will be when she realizes we stole her true wedding day! What if she didn't want to really marry me? What will she do about her name? She still has six months of school left. Dammit! Mother this is a problem. A huge problem! I can't let anyone know she is married to me. It's not out of shame. It's for her safety. Mother how does all this work? I know we can hide the rings with a disillusionment charm but what about her name?" Severus begging for answers.

Eileen was now the confused one "Why must this be a secret Severus. How could her being married to you cause her safety to be effected?"

Severus sat with his head in his heads finding all this overwhelming "Mother I never wanted you to know but seeing as how I need your help and if things get worse I will have to tell you anyways for your own safety. Long story short my dumbass became a death eater. I cannot have anyone I care about linked to me. I didn't worry about you because you were traveling abroad. Lily is a sitting duck if this gets out. He will kill her to punish me for marrying a muggleborn. Please mother I cannot image how upset you are at me right now but please help me. I'm trying to make things right. I am doing things that will bring down the Dark Lord but right now he is still very much a risk to Lily. Help me and then you can hex me into oblivion." Severus begged almost in tears.

Eileen's heart broke, she had long suspected this of her son but it was a hard realization. She also hated seeing her son so upset, the poor child had a horrible childhood and she was to blame for not taking him and leaving sooner. She was very upset with his stupid decision to join the ranks of death eaters but she would save that for another day. Today she would be his mum and protect him by protecting what he obviously loved most….. Lily. "Shelby!" Eileen called. "Yes, Madame Prince" the little elf mumbled with her head down thinking she was in trouble. "Shelby I need you to go get Albus Dumbledore. Quickly! It is an emergency!" "Yes, Madame Prince" with a pop Shelby was gone. "Severus calm down. Albus and I will fix this." She said patting his hand. "Why don't you go wake up my daughter in law. I would love to greet her properly" Eileen smiled at him.

Severus walked into the bedroom and couldn't help but smile at the sight before him. There Lily laid curled up in a ball hugging his pillow. He gently lifted her left hand holding his pillow to look at the ring. His mother was right. It was absolutely gorgeous. The engagement ring was a rather large solitaire diamond and the wedding band was emeralds and rubies alternating, both set in white gold. He gently kissed her hand and pushed the mess of red hair away from her face then gently tucked it behind her ear. He sat there looking at Lily with a million thoughts and fears. "What if" seemed to be the main topic running through his mind. What if she didn't really want this. What if the Dark Lord finds out. What if I die and leave her alone. What if this is really what she wanted. What if I can't live up to what she needs and wants me to be.

"Good morning husband." Brought him back from his trance of doubt.

"Good morning Madame Snape." He smiled back at her.

"Will I wake up every morning with you staring at me like you're scared to death?" she asked confused.

"Let's hope not love. Take this then drink this." He said handing her a hang over potion and a glass of water.

Lily did as he asked then flopped back on the bed letting the potion rid her of the sick feeling and the headache. Severus sat beside her playing with her hair looking at her intently trying to figure out how to tell her last night wasn't a joke. "Love we need to talk." Severus said with a voice laced with fear.

Lily sat up knowing those words never brought anything good "What's wrong Sev?"

"Do you remember last night?" he asked swallowing the lump in his throat.

Lily laughed snidely "Oh, Sev how could a girl forget her wedding!"

Severus nodded and bit his bottom lip "Lily how would you feel if it had been real?"

Lily was caught off guard but thought for a second then said, "Well, as far as being married to you for real that would be wonderful. I was kind of hinting the other day about it but I know we can't right now because it would cause too many problems for you."

"Yes, we never returned to that subject. Why were you hinting at marriage?" Severus asked with a your not getting away this time look.

Lily blushed and pulled her knees to her chest hiding her face "If you marry me then I know you can never leave me again. I know we can't and it's ok. I know it would cause chaos for you and it would cause you to worry even more. I guess I was being childish or selfish. I wanted something more than just your word that you would never leave me again."

Severus stood up and picked up Lily then sat on the bed with her in his lap in that low velvet whisper in her ear "I understand that I have said and done some very vile things. I wish I could take them all back but I cannot. What I can do is from this moment forward do everything I can to be everything you want from me and everything you need. I meant every word I said last night, those were not empty words."

Lily looked up with a tear streaking down her cheek "I meant them too. I know it's wrong but I wanted it to be real."

Severus arched an eyebrow at her "You wanted last night to be real?"

Lily sat up straight so she could look into his black eyes and make him understand how honest she was being "It may have been the most selfish and dangerous thing I've ever wanted. YES! I wanted last night to be real. All of it!"

Severus tilted his head, smiled at her, picked up her left hand and with a voice laced with love and velvet said, "You got your wish Madame Snape."

Lily's mouth fell open at the beautiful jewelry wrapped around her ring finger "How? When? I don't understand!"

Severus laughed "Trust me, you weren't the only one awakened to this shock. My mother woke me up livid! I'm not sure how but whatever we did last night was real. We are really married."

Lily squealed and hugged him so hard she was choking him "I'm so excited!" Lily pulled back and kissed him until they both fell over backward onto the bed.

Well into that heated kiss "Love as much as I would love to repeat last night we do have company." Severus panted breaking the kiss.

"Oh I forgot. Is your mum mad at me too?" Lily asked sheepishly.

"No love she was angry with me thinking I intentionally got married without telling her. These rings are heirlooms and when she found them gone she came looking for me; seeing as how they would only go to a Prince heir. It was very confusing but we figured out somehow that our little wedding last night was real and these rings will only present themselves to a Prince heir in true love. I should also tell you those rings won't come off until one of us dies."

Lily looking at her rings smiling like a fool "I love magical jewelry!"

"I'm glad you like it love considering you will be wearing it for a while." Severus said with a small chuckle.

"Come love. We have company and certain issues we need to address." He said before he kissed her and pulled her off the bed. "Get dressed Madame Snape then meet us in the sitting room"

Lily laughed "You can call me Madame Snape all you want but I will not be calling you "Master Snape"!"

"Love you can call me anything you like. Now get dressed witch!" Severus said walking out the door.


	24. Chapter 24

Severus walked into the sitting room to find his mother and Dumbledore deep in conversation. This will not end well he was thinking as he inched closer to where they were.

"Albus I don't care what it costs, I don't care who has to be bribed or bought! Just do it!" Eileen stated flatly.

Severus cleared his throat to make his presence known.

"Well Severus…. I hear you had an eventful night." Dumbledore eyeing him over his spectacles.

"Yes sir, we did. It was unintentional in the moment but it is what it is and Lily is very happy about it and I cannot say I didn't wait this. Maybe not at this exact moment but none the less I'm not unhappy, just worried." Severus said standing his ground.

"Severus dear, we have been tossing around ideas to help conceal this marriage until such time that things can be set right." Eileen trying to ease her son's fears.

"Good Morning!" Lily beamed as she pranced through the house stopping next to Severus and hooking her arm through his.

"Good Morning dear. Congratulations! I so wish I could have been here." Eileen said smiling at Lily then glaring at Severus.

"Mrs. Prince I am so sorry about that. My parents will be very upset as well. We honestly had no clue it was real. I don't remember Sirius saying anything last night. We honestly thought it was a joke." Lily said apologetically.

"I heard sweetheart. I do hope Shelby managed to take pictures. I was told she was sent after a camera and came back with a camera and your rings." Eileen smiled.

"I'm sure she did mother. You know how Shelby is; she would never fail anything asked of her. She probably took so many if you flicked them quickly it would show you the entire thing." Severus laughed.

"One can only hope." Eileen bit still a little bitter.

"Lily dear we need to discuss the consequences of last night. You have to return to school in four days. We must keep this a secret until it is safe." Severus told her with a bit of disappointment in his voice.

"Do I have to go back? Why can't I stay with you? I don't want to leave you for six months." Lily said almost begging.

"Yes. You are returning. You are safer there and you know I am called at all hours and you would be alone. Not to mention you must take and pass your N.E.W.T.S. You are not giving up your dreams because we are married. We will still be married in six months when you finish." Severus stated sternly.

Lily huffed and looked to Mrs. Prince and Dumbledore for help but neither would agree with her. Knowing she was defeated finally asked Dumbledore "Headmaster, I will gladly return to Hogwarts and finish this year and continue on as we had planned but I would like to respectfully ask to be allowed to come home to my husband on the weekends."

Dumbledore gave her a half smile "I think we can work around that as long as Severus says it is safe for you here."

"Have you figured out what to do about her name?" Severus asked anxiously

"What about my name?" Lily asked confused.

"Love in our world when one marries their name automatically changes. When those vows were sealed last night your name changed from Evans to Snape; everything at Hogwarts now has the name Lily Snape." Severus informed her with a voice laced in worry.

"Oh! That's a problem huh…" Lily said peering up at him.

"Yes, a rather large problem." Severus eyeing Dumbledore silently pleading for an answer.

"What about everything before last night? Will that remain Evans or has my whole existence as Lily Evans magically disappeared?" Lily asked trying to figure out this craziness.

Eileen lightly giggled, "Lily dear, you did not lose your existence as an Evans. Severus has failed to explain this properly. I am sure you are familiar with name changes in the muggle world, where the wife after the wedding goes to the correct places with her marriage certificate and legally changes her name in the proper places." Lily nodded her head to acknowledge she understood so far. "In our world the same thing happens only magically. Everything before your marriage will remain the same. The exception being you don't have to visit several places to change your name and we don't have marriage paperwork. Magical marriages are made by vow not by paper. Every piece of paper you turned in at Hogwarts that was there before Christmas break still has Lily Evans on it. Your return will be the problem dear."

Lily stood there thinking of the things that could possibly change that would be a problem "What about my apparition license? Did that change?"

"No, dear. You obtained that before your marriage, it isn't like muggle drivers license; it doesn't renew every few years. Albus and I talked about this at length this morning, you should have nothing at the Ministry change, for now." Eileen trying to soothe Lily's fears.

"I understand magical marriage is by vow but the Ministry has to have some record of it. Do our names magically appear somewhere in a book or something?" Lily asked still in confusion.

Eileen pulled a knowing smirk with a hint of evil "Lily dear, the Ministry is a rather large place and documents go missing all the time." Winking at Severus who finally grinned.

Lily gave a nod knowing that they already had something planned to make a certain something disappear for the time being. "What about Hogwarts? How will it be hidden there?" Lily asked.

"I have a solution that will work until the end of the school year. Lily I can change your name back to Evans at Hogwarts, probably before anyone notices. That will only work until you take N.E.W.T.S; those are legal documents that will go to the Ministry. Upon those being filed at the Ministry, your new name will have an official record. So we have some time to sort through this until then. Of course you will have to hide your rings with a disillusionment charm while at school." Dumbledore giving a weary smile.

"If I were pureblood or half blood this wouldn't even matter." Lily said frustrated.

"Lily I wouldn't want the Dark Lord to know of this even if you were his cousin. The man is evil. He would use you against me like a pawn." Severus said exasperated.

"That's funny because Lucius and Narcissa got married. You can't tell me they aren't a part of this!" Lily bit back.

"Yes they did. I was there. They both are morons and yes, I told them so. Lily do you realize should this get out even if you were pureblood the role you would be forced to take? It must have escaped your notice that you are married to a death eater. I don't think you would enjoy sitting in on these meetings. Wives are not off limits. Vows mean nothing to him. I will not have you in his presence. Ever!" Severus trying to hold back his irritation.

"I didn't think about that." Lily admitted quietly letting his words sink in. Lily finally realized how much danger they were in. "I will do whatever you tell me to do. I won't say a word to anyone but can we please tell my parents before the end of the school year? I'd like for them to know before the Ministry does."

"Yes love, we will tell them when you feel the time is right." Severus smiling at her.

"Lily, Severus, we will work this out. I have the connections and you have the money we will sort all of this out quickly. I wouldn't worry too much about telling your parents. As I understand his focus at the moment is getting into the Ministry. He is trying to take over our world through the government. Torturing and killing muggles have taken a back seat at the moment. I will be working on this diligently but for now I must go." Dumbledore stood walking over to Severus to shake his hand leaving a piece of parchment. Just before apparating he looked to Severus and said "Being your wife now I think she can know." He gave a wink and was gone.

"What can I know?" Lily asked with a questioning arched eyebrow.

Severus shot his mother a panicked look. Eileen nodded and smiled "Lily dear shall we make tea and talk for a few minutes alone please. I feel I barely know you."

Severus never gave her a chance to protest; as soon as his mother started talking he left the room. He went to their bedroom closed the door he opened the parchment he was still clutching knowing what it was.

 

 

Madame Lily Snape

Prince Manor and Guest House

Tickenham Road,

Somerset, England

Albus Dumbledore

 

 

"Meddlesome man." Severus said to himself. He wasn't exactly ready to tell Lily what all came with his name. He wasn't sure how she would feel about it. The guest house was similar to what most people considered average. To Lily it looked like something he could afford with his grandfathers help of course. She had no clue that when the man passed away just a few short months ago very shortly after he had returned to their lives; that he left Severus everything. Eileen inherited a substantial amount of money but everything else belonged to Severus. Severus had been smart enough to go to Dumbledore before the will was read and have it conveniently disappear much like the record of their marriage would. Eileen and Severus being the last Prince heirs there would be no need for a will reading. The Ministry had no record of Severus owning the Manor and Severus and Dumbledore cast a Fidelius charm upon both the Manor and guest house. They had mutually agreed it would be best kept a secret from the Dark Lord, as they were afraid he would attempt to use the Manor as a gathering place as he did with the Malfoy Manor. Dumbledore being secret keeper had decided with this piece of parchment Severus now was making Lily a secret keeper by willingly giving her the address. I suppose she has the right to know it is her home now he thought. Hell everything I own is hers now. Won't she be shocked. Lily grew up in a nicer home with much better parents but she was about to be in for the shock of a lifetime.


	25. Chapter 25

Before Severus ever entered the kitchen where is wife and mother where chatting he could hear her angelic laughter. He stopped just outside the kitchen keeping himself out of sight eavesdropping on their conversation. His mother was telling a terribly embarrassing story of his first attempt at magic and Lily seemed to think it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Just a few short months ago I would have felt betrayed and angry he thought still listening. I was such a bitter and angry person; I let my anger and bitterness drive me to stupid things. I wonder how different my life would have been if things had always been like this? I certainly wouldn't be standing here branded by the Dark Lord, yet how did I get here? I'm standing here watching my wife…..wife…. Lily Evans, No!…. Lily Snape and my mother laughing at my childhood mishaps and I find it endearing. After every terrible thing I've done what did I do to deserve this? It almost seems like a dream. Lily is my wife and Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are asleep in my guest room… who would have ever thought… Severus was lost in thought.

"Babe? Are you ok?" Lily asked worried as she saw him standing there when she had gotten up to put her cup in the sink.

Severus snapped from his thoughts "Yes love I'm wonderful. Come I have something to show you." He grabbed her hand and led her back to the kitchen table. He sat looking at her with a mixture of excitement and nervousness "Lily,….I need you to read something. Do not speak it, simply read it and commit it to memory." Severus placed the parchment from Dumbledore on the table and pushed it toward Lily before taking his fingers off the parchment holding it firm to the table he looked to his mother.

Eileen knew well what he was giving Lily; she imagined he was scared of what her reaction would be. Merlin knows Severus didn't take it well the first time he entered the Manor. He still didn't care for it, that would all change once he's not there alone she thought. Eileen smiled at her son and gave a nod of approval.

Severus let out a long sigh and removed his hand off the parchment allowing Lily to pick it up. Lily quickly picked it up and furrowed her eyebrows; she looked to Severus about to ask what it meant but was met with him shaking his head no.

"Commit it to memory." Severus urged her.

Lily sat studying the paper for a few minutes finally placing it on the table then looking to Severus with a what now look.

"You've memorized it?" he asked questioningly.

"Yes, Sev. I got it." Lily answered unamused.

"Very well, please go throw that parchment in the fireplace then." Severus directed her.

Lily rolled her eyes and did as she was asked, she returned to stand beside him with her hand on her hip. It was taking all of her will to remain quiet and not question the odd address.

Severus looked up at her and read her irritation with him like a book "Now or never I guess. Mother are you coming?"

Eileen smiled and simply said, "No dear, I'm sure your company will awake before you return. I will stay here with them until you return."

"Very well." Severus stood and turned to Lily trying to lighten her irritated mood put out his hand "Madame Snape, shall we?"

Lily was irritated but apparently she was going somewhere so she was trying to hide her excitement "We shall, Insufferable Husband!"

The last thing they heard before apparating was Eileen's laughter.

When Severus and Lily landed the shock on Lily's face was immediate. Severus couldn't help but adore the look on her face. Clueless little thing has no clue this is her new home he smiled to himself.

Lily stood on the stone walkway leading to the one of the largest houses she had ever seen; the house was enormous, it was two stories tall and made of a grayish brick, ivy covered most of the front of the 'L' shaped house, the lawn and shrubbery seemed to go on forever, Lily smiled to herself when she noticed a very large willow tree in the distance. "Sev….. where are we?" she finally managed to ask. Severus simply smiled placed his hand in the small of her back and lead her toward the arched entry to the house. They reached the massive door, which was made of cherry wood. Lily stopped waiting on Severus to knock on the door. He smiled and chuckled as he reached down and turned the knob to open the door without being invited in. "Sev! What are you doing? We can't just walk into someone's house uninvited!" Lily shrieked. Severus let out a true laugh looked at her adoringly in a swift move picked her up bridal style and walked her inside the manor.

Lily started to fight with him until suddenly his lips met hers, they shared a passionate kiss, Severus broke the kiss with a smile and whispered in his seductive velvet voice "Welcome home Madame Snape." Lily's face was priceless she wore a mixture of shock and awe. Severus put her on her feet, as she stood looking around at what he had just called home he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind placing his chin on her shoulder waiting for all her questions.

Lily was stunned. This wasn't a home. This looked like a much nicer version of a wing of Hogwarts. This wasn't a house it was a freaking mansion. Standing in the foyer in front of her was a massive cherry wood staircase leading up to the second floor at the base of the staircase there was a pillar on each side, sitting on top of each pillar was a coiled snake posed to look like it were ready to strike; at the top of the stair case there was a wall of portraits all of them looking intently at her, the staircase split to the left and to the right. On the right of the staircase was a hall that looked like it may have led to the kitchen and to the looked like maybe a sitting room. Hanging from the ceiling was a beautiful chandelier. "Sev…. what….what… did you mean welcome home?" Lily stumbling over her words.

She could feel Severus smile against her cheek "Love this is our home. This is Prince Manor my grandfather left it to me."

"Oh….what about the house we've been staying in?" she questioned.

"That is the guest house. I stay there because it is smaller. This house can be overwhelming when you're here alone and I have a few extra wards on that house." He answered still watching her in amusement.

"So the paper?" Lily asked timidly.

Severus smiled at her "We will discuss that shortly. Come Madame Snape, let me give you a tour of your new home!" he said with more excitement than he realized. Severus took her through each room giving her a few moments to take it in; the first room was a sitting room, it was a large yet cozy room the chairs and sofas were made of black leather, there was a small writing desk to one side, toward the back of the room was a larger round cherry table just in front of two very ornate cabinets, they moved to the dining room (which in Lily's opinion would have held an entire house at Hogwarts). The table seemed to go on forever, each chair was a cushioned green chair; Lily silently counted the seats there were 20 seats and each was set perfectly waiting guests.

"Sev, why do we need a dining table that seats 20?!" Lily asked with a chuckle.

"Because we can love!" he answered fake smug. Leaving the dining room they walked into a massive room with a square bar in the middle, complete with barstools wrapping all the way around the square bar, there were couches, tables and a pool table. It was almost like having a real bar inside your house. "The bar is bewitched to stay fully stocked" Severus whispered in her ear.

"Now I understand why you never run out!" Lily laughed. The next room was best described as a living room, it had multiple couches all made of black leather, a beautiful fireplace and 8 foot of one wall was made of windows facing the garden. On the wall facing the garden there was a beautiful stained glass door leading outside into the garden. Lily opened the door to look out to see flowers, bushes and herbs of every kind. Severus quickly ushered her into the kitchen not wanting her to be outside of the house.

"Madame Snape! It is so good to see you in the manor! Shelby is most excited!" the little elf beamed at her.

"Thank you Shelby. You may have to help me around the first few nights this place is massive!" Lily looked sweetly at Shelby

"Madame Snape, Shelby will be most happy to help in any way." The little elf said smiling.

Severus chuckled "I doubt you will spend much time in here but this is the kitchen. Shelby takes care of everything in here and gets quite upset if she's not asked to do it."

Lily looked at the room she was told she would hardly use it was beautiful; the walls were what looked like gray stone with jagged edges, there was an island in the middle that would seat 4, above the areas where the sink and stove were there were arches of stone above each one, to the left of the kitchen area Lily could see a small breakfast nook. "It's beautiful," Lily said in awe.

"I'm glad you like it so far love. Let's tour the upstairs." Severus winked at her.

"Master and Madame, Shelby has your pictures ready if you would like them." Shelby said as she ran to them. Lily took the pictures and thanked her while Severus was gently pushing her toward the stairs by the small of her back. Once they reached the top of the stairs Severus pointed to the left "Those are all guest rooms and bathrooms."

"That entire wing is guest rooms?" Lily questioned in disbelief.

"Yes!" he answered.

"How many rooms are there?" Lily asked still not believing an entire wing was bedrooms and bathrooms.

"There are seven guest rooms and four bathrooms." Severus answered uninterested. "This is our wing." Walking her the right of the staircase. Severus walked a few feet and opened a door that lead to an elaborate library. Every wall floor to ceiling was filled with books, there were black leather sofas and chairs throughout the room. "There are both magical and muggle books in here. The books are bewitched to come when called so you can access the ones closer to the ceiling." Severus said smirking like he was answering an unasked question.

"I am amazed!" was all Lily could manage to say.

The house was beautiful everything matched perfectly every piece of wood was cherry; most rooms were decorated in green but done so tastefully, the house itself was magical. Severus walked a few more feet to the last door on the hall smiled at her and said "This Madame Snape is our quarters." The room itself was almost as big as Lily's parents entire house. The oversized bed was the center piece of the room, it was of course a cherry four pollster canopy bed, the canopy itself was silver, the sheets were silver satin and the comforter was of course Slytherin green. The room was filled with antique, ornate furniture, each piece looked priceless. The furtherest window was a large bay window with a cushioned seat. Close to the bay window was a door that lead to an office. It looked much like a professional office. A very large desk, high back chair behind the desk and two wing back black leather chairs in front of it. The ensuite bathroom was large and lavish the ceiling was high and had the same arches above the sinks as the kitchen. The walls were made of the same jagged rock walls and like the rest of the house everything was cherry wood accented in black and green. To the right was a double shower stall; beyond the shower was a door that lead to a private loo. Lily was impressed but the one item that had Lily's attention the most was the spa tub it, envied the prefects bathroom at Hogwarts, settled against the rock walls a lighted mural cut into the wall, the mural was a painting of a snake wrapped around the letter P, 4 large pillars held up the dimly lit dome that was directly above the circular tub. Floating candles circled the edges and as Lily bent down to touch the water it was the absolute perfect temperature. "This is unbelievable Sev! All of this is really our home?" asking in disbelief never thinking she would be living in such a lavish home.

Severus turned her to face him "Love this is our home. Ours. I know it may be a little 'green' for your liking but we can redecorate in time. I do hope you like it."

"No….it's perfect! I don't want to change any of it. I can't believe this is where we live. What will we do with such a large house and just the two of us?" Lily said still astonished.

Severus smirked "Well I have a few ideas. First we try out this tub you seem to be so drawn to, then we must make sure that the bed is suitable and then we will discuss all those shitheads you wish to adopt."

Lily arched an eyebrow at Severus and within seconds all he seen was her bare ass gently easing into the water.

"Merlin witch, you will be the death of me!"

"Oh just wait until we quality check the bed." Lily said with a devious smirk and a wink. Severus followed her into the spa tub and they spent a delicious afternoon christening several rooms and pieces of furniture.


	26. Chapter 26

Eileen was quietly sitting at the kitchen table reading the prophet when she started hearing voices coming from the guest room. She listened intently as she had always been of the nosy sort.

"What the hell Sirius!"

"Huh…..What?"

"Get your ass off me dammit!" followed by a rather large thud.

"How the hell did we end up in here?"

"I have no fucking clue!"

"Get dressed dammit!"

"Will you shut up before they here us!"

"Oh, like they won't notice both of us gone from the living room! Moron!"

"Just shut the hell up! My head hurts too bad for this."

Eileen listened to the boys' banter trying desperately not to laugh. That'll teach him to marry my son without his knowledge and his mother, she thought. She got up from the table and started tea, found Severus's potion stores retrieving two hangover potions, and called Shelby to bring them a light lunch. Shelby had returned with the food and left before the boys gained enough courage to leave the bedroom.

"I don't think they are here. It's too quiet." Remus whispered hoping they were alone.

"Just where would they go genius?" Sirius bit back.

By the time the boys had reached the kitchen they were sure they were alone and had avoided a very embarrassing situation but as they rounded the corner both of their faces turned blood red as Eileen looked up and smiled a wicked smile of 'Oh, yes I heard that'.

"Good afternoon boys, Shelby brought you some lunch, there's tea and hangover potions here as well. I was starting to get lonely. Won't you join me."

Remus and Sirius looked to each other questioning who this woman was but she knew Shelby so she must know Snape they thought.

"Ummm….. Yes ma'am. Thank you." Remus managed through his confused embarrassment.

Sirius in his unusual demeanor looked at the floor and walked to the table.

Eileen took a small amount of pleasure in making these two nervous; she knew well who they were and how they had treated her son during his school years. Eileen decided to have a little fun at their expense, because that's what mothers do…. Isn't it, she smirked as the thought fluttered through her head. "I understand you all had quite an eventful night last night." Eileen started the conversation.

Both boys once again turned beet red, Remus nodded and swallowed the bite of food in his mouth, took a long drink of water, and cleared his throat before he managed to find any words "We did have a rather fun night….. what I can remember of it." He said looking at Sirius who refused to look up from his plate.

Eileen quickly figured out that Remus was the kinder of the two and she needed to find a way to get Mr. Black to talk, "So, Shall I call you Sirius, Mr. Black or is Preacher Black these days?"

Sirius looked up shocked, who the hell is this woman he thought and how does she know about last night "Sirius will be just fine ma'am. What shall we call you?" Sirius asked thinking he would get an answer that would help.

Eileen smiled at him and said simply "Mrs. Prince."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Prince" Sirius said trying to hide his frustration of still not knowing who she was.

This wasn't enough fun for Eileen, she wanted them to cringe instead of just being uncomfortable, "So how long have you two been together?"

Remus choked on his tea and Sirius shocked and embarrassed screamed "WHAT?!"

"Oh, it's ok boys, you don't have to hide it from me. I think it's lovely. Merlin anybody around you can tell; not to mention the way you two snuck out of that room this afternoon." Eileen said as she smirked over her teacup.

"Now Mrs. Prince….."

"Sirius dear, don't worry times have changed. People don't frown upon these kinds of relationships anymore." Eileen interrupted determined to get Sirius as pissed as she possibly could.

"Ma'am we are…" Remus tried.

Yet again Eileen interrupted patting Remus's hand "Love, you don't have to explain anything to me. I was merely curious because you two are just adorable together."

"You don't underst…." Sirius couldn't finish his sentence.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry I've upset you, I shouldn't meddle in other peoples affairs. Tell you what Severus and Lily will be gone for a bit and I need to go pick up a few things. I'll let you two have the house for a bit so you can do….whatever…" Eileen said with a playful grin before she apparated back to her hotel room. She hit the floor doubled over in laughter knowing she had managed to piss off the arrogant little prat who had picked on her child. Oh, this is bliss she thought, I only wish Severus could have been there. I'll have a bit more fun with them later she thought.

"Who in the bloody hell was that?!" Sirius yelled.

"I have no damn clue." Remus said shaking his head. There was a long silence while the two thought; Remus's laughter broke the deafening silence.

The laughter only angered Sirius more "I'm glad you think this is so damn funny! We have no clue who that woman is and she thought we were…..having….are….GAY! For all we know the whole country will think we are gay in the next 24 hours. She's probably owled everyone she knows by now!"

Sirius's outburst only fueled Remus's laughter, he was laughing so uncontrollably he found himself in the floor by the time he managed to calm his laughter "Merlin, lighten up Sirius. You have to admit that was funny as hell. You can't blame the poor woman, she probably heard us."

Sirius picked up the prophet off the table, rolled it up and threw it as hard as he could at Remus "Keep laughing you damn fool! We'll be on the front page by morning!"

Remus started laughing again then managed to say "Well on the upside it will piss off what family you have left."

If looks could kill Remus would have died a thousand deaths by now "Fuck you Remus!" Sirius barked as he stormed off to the bathroom to shower.

"Don't worry the whole wizard world will think we're fucking by morning!" Remus yelled down the hall before collapsing in the floor clutching his ribs.

"Bastard!" Sirius yelled as he slammed the bathroom door.

"I love you too baby" Remus yelled through chuckles.

The afternoon at the guest house was filled with long bouts of silence followed by death glares, insults and Remus's laughter. Shortly before dusk Severus and Lily apparated back to the guest house to check on their friends and Eileen.

"Hey guys!" Lily beamed.

Sirius shot Remus a death glare of 'you better not' but Remus couldn't help it, he erupted in laughter again. Severus furrowed his eyebrows and gave Lily a questioning look. Lily shrugged her shoulders as to say she had no clue.

"What is so funny" Severus asked amused by Remus.

Sirius was positively pissed "I swear to Merlin, Remus Lupin if you don't stop I will hex your balls off."

At the mention of balls Remus lost any amount of composure he had and his cackling became contagious. Lily and Severus were laughing with no clue why.

Somewhere lost in the laughter and the fuming Sirius, Eileen returned; standing back watching the three lost in laughter then glanced over at the blood red visibly irate Sirius. Eileen couldn't help but chuckle but she refused to get lost in the laughter as well. No, this might be the only chance I ever have to do this she thought. Eileen walked over to Severus, she stopped before she touched him, it hit her that her usually stoic, rigid, angry and withdrawn son was laughing like a child, she couldn't remember a single other time she had seen her son so happy. Maybe they aren't too bad after all she thought I won't make this cruel but after all…. I am his mother. Eileen grabbed Severus by the arm "Darling! You're home! Did you and Lily have a nice trip?" Severus tried to stifle his laughter but eventually gave up and just shook his head yes. "Merlin! What has all of you so happy?" Eileen asked amused.

No one could answer her at the moment Remus was back in the floor alternating between howling in pain from laughter and actually laughing trying to talk but nothing made sense. If it were even possible Sirius was madder at seeing Eileen return but now his anger was mixed with fear. Severus and Lily were doubled over at Remus's behavior. Eileen even began to chuckle. It was infectious; well at least to everyone but Sirius.

Severus managed to calm himself enough to form sentences still chuckling at the mess that was Remus in the floor "Hello, mother. We had a wonderful day. How was yours?"

"MOTHER! She's your mother?!" Sirius asked going from beet red to ghost while in the blink of an eye.

Eileen smirked knowing that everything that made her Slytherin was about to show "Yes, Sirius dear I'm Severus's mother." She answered his question with an arched eyebrow.

Sirius turned around to face the kitchen counter, he propped himself up with his elbows with his head in his hands knowing he would never live this down in a thousand lifetimes.

Eileen turned back to Severus "Dear, my day was wonderful! Although I think I may have interrupted your friends early this afternoon. I probably should have made myself known. They are wonderful boys though, embarrassed as they were they were gracious enough to have lunch with me. They are absolutely adorable together. I told them not to worry about being together that people don't judge those kinds of relationships anymore."

Severus and Lily were looking at Eileen like she had grown another head "Mother what do you mean 'Interrupted them'". Severus asked unsure where this was going.

"Well dear I was having tea at the table and reading the prophet after you two left and a short while later I heard voices from the guest room. I couldn't hear everything but I did hear something about 'get off' and 'ass' (she intentionally whisper yelled) and several curse words and then a loud bang and then one of them told the other to get dressed. I assume they were…. You know…" Eileen said innocently.

Severus and Lily immediately looked to Sirius who was still propped up on the counter. You could see the redness of his face between each finger. Remus had lost it, he was rolling in the floor yelling "Dear Merlin" "Please Stop" "I Can't" "I'm Dying" between fits of laughter.

Severus looked to Lily questioningly "Are they… together?"

Lily bit her bottom lip hard to keep from laughing, the pain grounded her "I wouldn't have thought so but…. Well….. this does seem a bit odd."

Sirius couldn't take it anymore he had to say something "Look, I don't know how we ended up in the bed together but we aren't doing anything! I know it looks bad but it's not what it looks like! This damn fool here isn't helping matters any! Remus! Get your ass up and help me explain this!" Sirius tried to explain embarrassed and flustered.

Remus after a few moments composed himself into slight chuckling. The entire room was waiting on his words. Remus stood and brushed himself off, walked over to the table took a drink of water, he sat his glass back down looking at the table running his finger back and forth across the table top like he was having an internal dilemma he finally looked up; his eyes were bloodshot and teary but no one knew if it was from the laughing fit or real tears. He took a deep breath and began to speak "Mrs. Prince it has been an honor to meet you. You are a very kind and open-minded lady, you handled the situation this afternoon with more grace than we deserved. I apologize for what you heard this morning." Remus paused and took a few steps toward Sirius who was standing smug and rigid.

Remus put his arm around Sirius's shoulder "Severus, Sirius and I would like to apologize for what your mother heard this morning. It was awfully embarrassing." Remus looking genuinely apologetic. Severus just nodded and gave a look of 'get to it'. Remus then looked at Sirius "I don't really know what to say about our behavior. I can't explain what came over us last night."

No one saw the twinkle in his eyes but Lily. She knew what was about to happen. She bit her knuckle on her index finger to keep from laughing.

In a swift movement Remus took the arm around Sirius's shoulder and wrapped it around his waist pulling Sirius to him blurted out quickly "But next time we'll be quieter." Kissed Sirius on the cheek, pinched his ass and took off out the front door laughing his fool head off.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Sirius screamed chasing after him.

The room erupted in laughter. They watched as the two ran around the grounds trying to hex each other. Sirius would curse at Remus and Remus would respond with "I love you too baby", "Oh you know I love when you get feisty", "You know I like it rough" but the one that seemed to piss Sirius off the worse was when he yelled "Fuck you" and Remus responded with "Ok, but you bottom tonight". Lily, Severus and Eileen watched and laughed until they got bored; knowing eventually they would tire themselves out. As they turned to walk back inside Severus asked "So do you think they are?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders and said, "They fight like they are."

Eileen just wickedly grinned behind them thinking 'Serves you right, Mr. Black.'


	27. Chapter 27

Severus scratched the back of his head as he walked into the sitting room still trying to make sense of the mess with Sirius and Remus and what had happened with them last night. Lily and Eileen were following him. "Well it looks like we weren't the only one who had and eventful night last night." Severus said with a chuckle.

"You know once in the Room of Requirement I asked Sirius about him and Remus. He denied it then too." Lily said laughing with a devilish smirk.

"Well when the happy couple are done with their domestic squabble we shall have a drink to their coming out." Severus said playfully.

Eileen arched an eyebrow "I think you all would have learned your lesson last night about all this drinking."

"Merlin mother what harm can we do? Marry Sirius and Remus this time?" Severus said laughing.

"I wonder who would change their name?" Lily asked seriously contemplating the question.

"That's a good question…..they both want away from their names. Maybe they should just pick a new one." Severus said almost serious.

"Hmmmmm…." Lily murmured tapping her finger on her chin. "Got it!" she exclaimed. "Blupin! Sirius and Remus Blupin!" she said cackling.

Severus and Eileen laughed at the red head that was far to amused with herself. Eileen leaned into Severus and whispered "Dear I think you may need to explain things to Lily before the boys are done with their fight."

Severus nodded in agreement and motioned Lily to come sit beside him. Once Lily managed to contain her laughter and had settled herself beside him he took a deep breath and started to explain the parchment "Lily dear I'm going to explain this quickly as I don't know how much time we have alone. The manor and this house have a Fidelus charm cast upon them, which means they are hidden from the world. No one but secret keepers can find the houses. The parchment you were given this morning made you a secret keeper because you now know the address. The only people who can apparate here alone are myself, mother, you and Dumbledore. Sirius and Remus are only here because we, meaning Dumbledore and myself brought them here. In being a secret keeper you can never tell anyone the address or they then are allowed to come here alone. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I think so; you're telling me to never say the address aloud and not to mention the Manor to anyone?" Lily said in a half statement half question.

"Sort of, never speak the address to anyone and never write it down. That is why I told you to commit it to memory and yes, do not tell anyone of the manor not even Sirius and Remus. Maybe someday but not right now."

"Ok, I won't" Lily said in a pout

"I also think it wise that Sirius and Remus be kept in the dark about the fact that we really are married. I know they are your friends but I can't stress how important it is that this does not get out right now. In time we will tell them. Probably after you finish school. I don't like lying about it either but it's about your safety and not shame." Severus said sadly.

"I don't like this either but I know you're right." Lily huffed.

Severus leaned over and kissed Lily on the temple and picked up her left hand looking at it adoringly "I wish we could have it printed in the prophet but that's just not possible love. The moment the Dark Lord falls we shall plan the grandest wedding the wizard world has ever seen and I will give you a proper wedding day love."

Lily looked up smiling "And we can invite everyone and tell the whole world then!"

"Yes love, hopefully very soon." Severus replied kissing her hand.

Eileen gave a fake cough "I better be the first to know this time!"

Severus and Lily chuckled and in unison "You can even help plan it!"

Eileen smiled satisfied that she would eventually see the day she bitterly missed.

"Oh I almost forgot! Shelby gave me these today at the Manor. They are the pictures from last night!" Lily said excitedly.

Eileen immediately moved to sit as close as possible to Lily who was opening the envelope containing the pictures. As Severus predicted Shelby had taken a massive amount of pictures. They all looked at the pictures that were moving as all magical pictures did, showing their obvious drunken state of stumbling and laughing. They laughed at most of them until they reached the last few; those pictures were about to tell a story. The first couple were Lily and Severus saying their vows they were actually beautiful pictures they were the only ones so far that they actually looked serious in, no laughing, no stumbling, no smirks, just two people hopelessly in love vowing themselves to each other until death. After looking intently at those few, the next was the one where Sirius silently waved his wand, being a magical picture it caught the magical ribbon that bound their left wrists. No one had noticed the night before because Severus and Lily were kissing and Sirius and Remus were laughing. They all looked at the picture in silence, not quite sure what to say. They exchange glances at each other and looked at the last picture Shelby took, Severus and Lily were still kissing but Lily had moved her hand to Severus's cheek and shining like the huge diamond it was there was the Prince ring already on her left hand.

"Well this explains a lot." Lily finally said.

Eileen cocked her head to one side looking to Severus and smugly said, "I told you so."

Severus shook his head "Yes you did. I'm not mad but I should kill him. Devious little prick."

Lily was looking back and forth between the two not understanding "Excuse me, but I'm confused."

Eileen knowing she was better at explaining things said, "Sweetheart Sirius sealed your vows wordlessly. He intentionally married you. The magical vow ribbon couldn't have appeared any other way. He may not remember doing it, but none the less he did. If you noticed in the last picture the Prince ring was already on your finger before you two ever broke your kiss dear."

"Oh…. So that little jackass knew what he was doing then? I thought somehow we had some magical connection or maybe it was me wanting it to be real so badly, but you're telling me he knew what he was doing?!" Lily asked not knowing how she felt.

Severus leaned back against the couch rubbing her back "Lily darling he probably doesn't remember doing it. We both know how he loves to do devious shit, as drunk as he was in the moment he probably thought it would be funny."

Lily wasn't angry she was married, No, she was elated but she did feel that Sirius might need a taste of his own medicine. I won't be forgetting this she thought to herself determined to pay the little shit back.

A few short moments later Sirius came through the door cussing Remus and Remus still chuckling. Sirius stormed toward the bedroom not being able to face the others. Remus shut the door and looked toward the sitting room where he was met with three pairs of arched eyebrows and smirks. Remus wasn't sure what do to or say so he stood there, face on fire and fidgeting.

"Come sit down dear. You need not explain anything. We won't ask a word. Will we?" she said looking toward Severus and Lily. It was like they were already in sync with each other they both bit their bottom lip and silently shook their heads no. Eileen patted the seat next to her and Remus silently shuffled to the sofa taking a seat never feeling more uncomfortable in his life.

Severus actually felt sorry for him 'Merlin I'm going soft.' he thought as he stood and walked to his well stocked liquor cabinet grabbing a bottle of the strongest whiskey, filling a glass with it. He walked over to where Remus sat with his head down and said "Here."

Remus glanced up to see what Snape was holding "Thank Merlin!" he said taking the glass but refusing to meet Snape in the eye.

Severus smiled down at him and returned to the liquor cabinet knowing his mother was there and probably wouldn't like him drinking whiskey in front of her he found a nice bottle of wine and returned to Lily and his mother with three glasses of red wine. "To us!" he said with a playful grin as he raised his glass.

They drank with small talk until Eileen started telling goodbyes to Severus and Lily ensuring she would do better at staying in contact. Eileen walked over to Remus and placed a gentle hand on his knee "Dear child, take care of yourself. I hope to see you soon as well."

Remus was shocked he thought surely the woman would have thought ill of him knowing who he was and after the way he had impulsively acted today. He somehow found the courage to look up at her with flushed cheeks "I apologize about today. I shouldn't have acted that way in front of you. I wasn't thinking."

Eileen kindly smiled "Sweetheart this whole day has been an adventure. Thank you for the laughs. I may be old but I remember being young once too." She patted his cheek gave him a warm smile, looked to Severus and Lily adoringly and disapparated.

"Well now that mother is gone, can we drink something worth drinking?" Severus playfully asked looking at Lily.

"Please! Ugh, I hate wine!" Lily answered rolling her eyes while handing her glass to Severus.

Severus came back with what they felt like were proper drinks stopping in front of Remus filling his glass again.

Remus very quietly said "Thank you."

"So, we shot this whole day to hell getting nothing done that we were supposed to. I guess it's going to be catch up day tomorrow." Severus said more as a statement.

"Yes, we have to get everything done in the morning we were supposed to do today and start with potions tomorrow afternoon." Lily confirmed.

"Hey Remus! What's the suckiest part of this whole animagus thing?" Severus asked trying to bring the poor guy back into a comfortable state around them.

Remus was more than a little relived knowing they weren't going to ask about anything that happened as promised, he cleared his throat "Well the thing James and Sirius complained about the most was the mandrake leaf they had to hide in their mouth for a month."

"That does sound terrible. How long does all of this take?" Lily asked.

"Depends. If you do the incantation every sunrise and sunset, after the month of mandrake leaf, until the first thunderstorm, assuming the potion is ready by then, and you've done it all correctly the shortest amount of time it can take is roughly two months but I've heard it takes some a year and some never have success."

"Lovely!" Severus said sarcastically "How long did it take Potter and Sirius?" he asked in a more civil tone.

Remus laughed thinking back to those days of begging Merlin for a thunderstorm "They were ready long before it happened but they had to wait on a thunderstorm. We begged Merlin for a month for rain. See, you must take the potion immediately after a thunderstorm starts then say the incantation and hope it takes. They were determined and never missed an incantation, so it took the first thunderstorm. It took them some training and getting used to but shortly they could change back and forth at will. I think that is the only time I'd ever been so happy to see people break the law. I wouldn't have to face moons in the shack alone because a werewolf will not harm another animal. Just humans."

Severus shook his head in understanding, not of the process; he had already studied it after he learned that he and Lily were to go through the process. He understood how lonely Remus had been and the relief of not being alone even if you were breaking laws. "Lils as soon as we get through the month of that leaf you had better start begging Merlin for rain!" Severus said chuckling.

Lily smiled at him "Sev it's getting late and we have a lot to do tomorrow." As she leaned her head toward the direction of their bedroom giving a look of 'he needs to be alone'.

"Yes, Madame Snape." Severus said chuckling as he stood and Lily took his hand leading them off. "Night Remus." They chimed as they left the room.

Remus looked down at his almost empty glass musing to himself 'Oh, that was fun…..while it lasted' with a frown playing on his lips. He finished the glass off before making his little nest on the couch; smiling at the days memories before drifting off to sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

The next morning was started with Lily waking the entire house, followed by a silent breakfast full of glares, glances, snickers, and sneers. The tension was so thick it couldn't have been cut with the sharpest of knives but no one made mention of the day before. As breakfast came to a close and Shelby came to clear everything Lily filled Sirius in on the talk from the night before. Lily and Severus asked a few questions about his experience going through the animagus process, which he grudgingly answered.

"Now that we have that covered, shall we learn to send patronus messages?" Severus asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, sure." Sirius said still obviously pissy.

Severus once again took them to the grassy spot from before and cast the same charm to hide them. They spent the better part of the morning learning this new trick and had it mastered by lunch. Lunch was much like breakfast on the exception of small talk about which potions Sirius and Remus needed help with the most. Severus and Lily worked to set up a make shift potions lab in the kitchen magically rearranging things and quickly gathering needed supplies.

The potions lessons went on until early in the evening. It proved very frustrating for Severus as he couldn't understand how two 7th year students were struggling with basic 5th year potions. Sirius and Remus both had taken several insults and even a rolled up prophet to the back of their head for their 'intolerable ignorance' but neither bit back, much to Severus and Lily's surprise. The only thing either of them uttered were questions about potions.

After a very late dinner everyone was exhausted Severus and Lily bid Sirius and Remus goodnight and went to their room to shower, be alone but mostly to get away from the tension that radiated off the two men that were still not speaking. Severus and Lily had barely made it inside their room when they heard the guest room door slam.

"What in the hell is wrong with those two?" Severus asked genuinely confused and frustrated.

"I honestly don't know….they have never been this way before. I don't think I've ever seen them fight before." Lily answered confused herself.

"This has to be more than a prank gone to far. Something is off with them. In the short time I have spent with them even I can see that." Severus shaking his head.

Lily stalked over to Severus wrapping her arms around his neck kissing his cheek then whispering, "You know what I miss?"

Severus smiled, leaned forward toward her barely nipping her ear before whispering "What do you miss Madame Snape?"

Lily hissed "The tub in MY house!"

Severus pulled back to look into her face he arched an eyebrow and a devious smirk crawled across his lips. Lily seductively bit her bottom lip an arch her own eyebrow as to say 'Let's go!'. Within seconds Lily found herself sitting in her perfectly temperatured spa tub with her husband inching his way across the water toward her, everything written on his face told her there would be little to no sleep tonight.

Lily had been right in her thinking, it was almost dawn when they finally decided they had claimed enough of the manor rooms, furniture, and the counter tops. Lily awoke at around 10 a.m. to her best guess "Sev! Wake up! We have to get back to the guest house!"

Severus rolled over and groaned.

"Severus Snape if you don't wake up so help me to Merlin" Lily barked at him while pushing him.

"NO!" he said into the pillow.

"Fine then!" Lily said as she walked into the bathroom. "1….2….3!" and with that she threw a glass of ice cold water on him.

"OH MY GOD! YOU INSUFFERABLE WITCH! YOU WILL PAY!" Severus yelled as he jumped out of bed stark naked chasing the giggling Lily who had also forgotten her clothes. They ran through the house him chasing her and her trying to remember where she was going; but much to Lily's dismay and embarrassment she found herself in the kitchen facing a very embarrassed Shelby. Severus soon ran into the room slamming into her from behind before realizing why she had stopped running.

Upon seeing Shelby he laughed and laughed hard "Morning Shelby" he said as he picked up the very embarrassed and speechless Lily taking them back to their room.

"I will never be able to look at her again," Lily said sitting on the bed with her face buried in her hands.

Severus laughed as he was dressing. "Love it is not uncommon for house elves to see their masters in the nude. I think you shocked her more than anything."

"So she's seen you naked then?!" Lily asked.

"Probably….. I have come home rather drunk at times and I've always awakened in my bed unclothed, I assume Shelby had a hand in getting me there." He answered nonchalantly.

Lily let out a frustrated growl and fell back on the bed. Severus walked over to the bed climbing on top of her holding himself up so he could talk to her "Unless you would like the same treatment I got this morning I suggest you get dressed witch!"

"FINE!" Lily said pushing a laughing Severus off her. She quickly dressed and they were back inside their bedroom inside the guest house.

"REALLY!? After all this time? Why now?" they heard one of them yell.

"Oh shit, let's go break this up" Lily said with wide eyes.

"Well would you rather…."

"Morning! Sorry we slept in!" Lily nearly yelled coming down the hall ended the conversation.

Severus hadn't seated himself well before Shelby appeared with brunch. The little elf said no words and Severus winked at her, she smiled back and in a small pop was gone. "Good to see you two are talking again." Severus said smirking behind a teacup.

Remus looked up to Sirius in a pleading look.

Sirius let out a huff and his shoulders sagged he shook his head "Yeah, we worked it all out. Thanks."

"Wonderful! I hate you two not talking. Yesterday was awful!" Lily beamed.

"Yes it was." Remus chimed in.

They all made their way to the table and ate brunch with much happier conversation and a lot less tension than the day before. All to quickly they were back at potions; Sirius and Remus seemed to be catching on quicker today after Severus decided to teach them 'his' way. His methods were simpler and more effective. When they decided they had accomplished enough for the day Severus was satisfied he had at least brought them up to 7th year standard potions. "I'm impressed. With tomorrow being New Years Eve I think we should work until lunch tomorrow then call this entire mission complete. I need to show you a few simple things that will not be in your books that are very useful and then we shall relax and drink our way into 1978. Is this acceptable to everyone?" Severus questioned as if anyone would argue.

The entire room nodded in acceptance. Severus and Lily quickly started putting everything out of the way and moved the kitchen back to being functional. Severus got lost in his work but Lily noticed that Sirius and Remus had moved into the far corner of the sitting room. They appeared to be in a heated whisper argument. Lily frowned at her friends and returned to her work.

As Severus and Lily walked into the sitting room with four glasses of whiskey they broke up the very quite argument that had been going on for quite some time. "Hey guys, have one drink with us before we go to bed." Lily tried to say cheerfully.

Sirius and Remus almost automatically turned back into themselves. 'That's weird.' She thought as she handed Sirius his glass. The four of them sat and talked like nothing had ever happened. It was an odd but easy conversation. When the clock struck 10 p.m. Severus suggested that they all retire for the night, they all needed to be up early tomorrow. Everyone agreed and went to their respective places in the house.

Severus closed the bedroom door and looked at Lily suspiciously "No, witch! We must stay here tonight!"

Lily automatically frowned "Fine then!"

They showered and curled up in the middle of the king size bed trying to go to sleep. "Something is still off with them." Lily whispered.

"I know love. If they want us to know they will tell us. It's not exactly like we aren't keeping things from them." Severus whispered back.

Lily sighed deeply "What we aren't telling is for peoples safety. What they aren't telling is personal. It's like they don't trust me anymore. If I told what I'm hiding it would do more harm than good!" Lily whispered in a very hurt tone.

Severus tucked her hair behind her ear and looked at her in a very solemn look "How do you know thier secret won't cause more harm than good?

The next morning started far earlier than anyone would have liked but they knew once Snape finished with potions they would be free to do whatever they liked until Dumbledore showed up to take them back to Hogwarts on New Years Day. Breakfast came and went quickly as they were all ready to get the work done and remove the cloud of 'school work'. Severus started returning all the potion ingredients and instruments back to their proper place quickly after breakfast.

"Sev, I thought we were going to learn some 'not in the book potions' today?" Lily questioned confused by her husband.

Severus disappeared without answering her only to promptly return a moment later empty handed. "Lily dear, I said we were going to learn 'things' that will not be in your books. I never said potions love." He stated smugly as he gathered the last of the misplaced potion materials and disappeared with them.

Lily, Remus and Sirius looked at each other in sheer confusion. "You don't think he's going to teach us dark magic do you?" Sirius asked.

Lily slapped his arm "Of course not! Moron!"

Severus returned with an arched eyebrow "No, Mr. Black we will not be dabbling into dark magic. As I stated yesterday they are simple, yet used properly can be very useful. I assume everyone has their wand on them?" The three still confused shook their heads yes without another word. "Good, we will need to be outside for a while." Severus stated as he opened the door and motioned them all outside. In their usual spot with the same charm hiding them Severus wickedly grinned as he thought about what he had planned. "I am going to teach you a few spells that may seem stupid right now but trust me, one day they could prove very useful. Lily will you please come stand in front of me."

Lily did as she was asked looking around not knowing what was about to happen. Severus smiled at her wickedly "Lily do you trust me?"

Lily threw her hand on her hip and threw Severus a death glare "Did you really just ask me that?! Of course I do!"

Severus still grinning wickedly "Then promise me you will do exactly as I say without question."

Lily rolled her eyes "I promise!"

With almost an evil sneer Severus said "Tell Sirius and Remus your biggest secret!" Lily's eyes went wide. "Remember you promised, without question!" Severus reminded her.

Lily looked terrified but she trusted him, she drew a deep breath "The night that we had…." Suddenly Lily couldn't talk anymore, it was as if her tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth. She looked to Severus with narrowed eyes knowing he had done this. Severus chuckled and flicked his wand. "Asshole!" Lily spat.

"Sorry love." Severus said turning to Sirius and Remus. "What I just did to Lily is a jinx called Langlock, as you seen it prevents the person from talking by locking the person's tongue to the roof of their mouth. Should you ever need a person to shut up or prevent them from casting spells at you, this jinx works wonderfully." Severus went on explaining the details further and helping them learn the new jinx until they all had it mastered. "One last thing before we move on, this jinx works on ghosts as well. I used it several times on Peeves before I left."

"Finally! A way to shut up that annoying bastard!" Sirius said in excitement.

"This is a charm called Muffliato." Severus said as he cast the charm leaving all three of them with a very irritating buzzing noise in their ears, leaving it in place for a few moments enjoying watching them yell at each other; with a flick they all were back to normal. "Muffliato when cast affects everyone in your vicinity. Allowing a temporary private conversation in a public place."

Snapes three students were already impressed. They were thinking of how much easier this would make life at Hogwarts; it never entered their minds he was teaching them these things for future purposes. Severus worked with each person separately to make sure they had it correct and how to cast it so the other person in the conversation would not be affected. The excitement of learning non-textbook spells had them excited and eager to learn so things moved quickly.

"This will be the last one I show you today, Levicorpus. I need Sirius and Remus to move back a little ways. Lily please come stand by me." Severus directed. Lily drew close to his side smiling in excitement. Severus leaned down and kissed her cheek whispering in her ear exactly how to do the spell and told her to aim at Remus. Lily looked up and winked with her own evil grin. Severus cleared his throat to signal Lily. With a flick of their wands both men were hanging upside down. Lily laughed wickedly.

Severus went back into teacher mode, "This as you see is a jinx that holds a person upside down until such time that the counter curse is given."

"Ok Snape, we get it, can you put us down now." Remus almost begged.

"Normally I would but I simply can not seem to remember the counter curse for it!" Severus said furrowing his eyebrows tapping his chin as if he were thinking hard. Severus turned back to the now angry upside down men with his wand he turned them to face each other while still upside down. "Lily and I are going in for a few minutes to see if we can locate the counter, you two should talk. Seems like you may have a lot to say to each other and …..well…. neither of you are going anywhere for a while." Severus gave an innocent look as he took Lily's hand leading her back to the house leaving the two behind him that had invented new curse words toward him.

Lily and Severus broke into laughter as they entered the house. "How long are you going to leave them out there?" Lily asked giggling.

"I haven't decided yet. Long enough so they are pissed at me and not each other. I don't want tonight ruined by their….. whatever it is." Severus answered her.

Twenty minutes later Severus and Lily reentered their little bubble hearing the two talking about all the torment they planned on inflicting upon 'That Bastard Snape'.

Severus whispered to Lily "I think it worked."

She smiled gratefully back at him "You might want to watch your back tonight."

Severus smirked "Liberacorpus".

The two very pissed off Gryffindor guests landed on the ground with a hard thud. "Bastard!" they yelled in unison.

Severus threw his hands up innocently "Forgive me. I haven't used that particular jinx in quite some time. It's counter slipped my mind."

"I bet it did you lying git!" Sirius bit.

"None the less "Levicorpus means up and Liberacorpus means down. I trust you can remember that. One last note, all of these are more effective if used nonverbal. You don't want your opponent knowing what you are about to cast at them. In fact every spell you use should be nonverbal should you find yourself in a duel. Now, I officially dismiss Dumbledore's Christmas vacation school. You are all free to carry on like dunderheads until Dumbledore comes to retrieve you tomorrow. Class dismissed." Severus said in his most serious teacher voice.

Lily trying to break up the anger yelled, before taking off running "Last one to the liquor cabinet has to drink that bottle of Strawberry Hill!"

"Oh hell no!" the remaining three said all taking off toward the house to start their New Years party.


	29. Chapter 29

The short trip to the house was playful yet a little vicious, the guys were all throwing fairly harmless spells at each other; much the Snapes surprise Remus threw Levicorpus at Sirius and refused to let him down until he was inside the house.

Sirius after hitting the ground in a thud brushed it off knowing exactly what he would do, he calmly walked into the house and flicked his wand at Remus leaving Remus speechless. Sirius glared at him evilly "Fucker" he said quietly as he walked past him.

Severus just stood back and watched them in amusement. None of them knew the secret of the bottle they were desperate to not get stuck with. Lily of course had beaten them all inside already sipping on a glass of whiskey. Sirius and Remus were scuffling in the floor trying their best to beat the other one; not realizing Snape wasn't even trying.

Severus body bound them together just for his amusement then Langlocked Sirius as well, without ever moving from his spot or using his wand. When the two stopped fighting the bind Severus walked over to them. Towering over them with a rather amused face "Neither of you will touch that bottle. First, because should you touch that bottle you would have a stinging hand for several hours. Second, that bottle isn't meant for consumption. I have saved that bottle for reasons I don't have to explain to you. Now, should you two decide to act like grown ups I will remove all binds. Nod your head that you will behave and I will counter both spells." Sirius and Remus nodded in agreement and Severus removed the body bind and both Langlocks. With a wave of his hand toward the liquor cabinet "Now you may pick your poison on the exception of the aforementioned bottle."

"Sev, why are you protecting a bottle of Strawberry Hill?" Lily asked suspiciously.

Severus turned on heel unashamed "That bottle was in my car the night at the cabin. I refused to tell you it was there because you were already quiet intoxicated and I felt you had reached your limit. I didn't want you sick the next day. I saved it as a reminder of that night."

Lily teared up "I can't believe you have saved that all this time. Not to mention charmed it."

Severus pulled Lily into a tight hug "Love, you'd be surprised at the things that are charmed around here. Don't worry, they aren't charmed against you. You may touch anything you wish." Kissing her forehead before letting her go.

Lily blushed and returned to sipping her drink. Sirius and Remus seemed to be almost back to normal, they were whispering and throwing evil glances at Snape. Severus just smiled knowing he could easily fend them off now. He had learned a lot in the past few months, even things that weren't dark and dangerous.

That thought was almost a curse in itself, the thought barely fluttered past his thoughts when he felt that familiar burn "Dammit! Not tonight!" Severus yelled clutching his left arm. He looked at Lily desperately "I'm so sorry love. Call Shelby and should I not return in two hours time call for Albus and DO NOT GO OUTSIDE THIS HOUSE!" Severus managed through gritted teeth and searing pain.

Lily ran to him before him could disapparate; she kissed him like she would never see him again, tears already streaming down her face "I love you." she choked out.

"I love you." Severus managed in a much softer tone than he thought was possible in his current state. With a crack he was gone, leaving a devastated wife and two remorseful friends.

Through sobs Lily managed "Sh….Shelby".

Shelby arrived in an instant, immediately knowing what was needed of her. "Madame, Shelby is here. Can Shelby do anything for you?" the pitiful little elf asked.

Lily just shook her head as she slid down the cabinet doors ending up in the floor holding herself in a sobbing mess. Shelby gingerly sat next to Lily waiting orders or to defend her new Madame with her very life.

Sirius and Remus looked to each other, then to Lily realizing this war Snape talked of was real and they all would be part of it soon. They realized that everything Snape had said and taught them had greater meaning. "We owe him again dammit." Sirius whispered to Remus.

"We owe it to them both to get them through this war alive." Remus whispered back before the deafening silence fell upon the room. The only sounds heard were Lily's muffled sobs.

"Damn I hate this for them." Sirius said quietly looking at the pitiful Lily.

"Come on. We can't leave her like that." Remus prompted. The pair stood to gather Lily and do whatever they could to ease her mind and distract her for at least two hours.

Severus landed outside the gates of Malfoy Manor with a sense of sickness, dread and regret. He knew keeping his mind closed to the Dark Lord was more important now than ever. Severus drew a deep breath and changed facades, in the blink of an eye, gone was the carefree, laughing husband and friend that he had been just thirty minutes ago; now he was a stoic, rigid and close minded servant to the Dark Lord. Severus made his way up the path to the Malfoy door, just in front of him one of Lucius's peacocks strutted in front of him, 'filthy animal' he thought as he had to slow his pace to keep from running over the loathsome creature. The heavy door opened before Severus entered, one flickering thought of Lily crossed his mind as he stepped over the threshold.

Upon entering the Manor, Severus returned to his usual death eater demeanor. He walked directly over to the Dark Lord bowing and saying "My Lord." Voldermort looked like a child waiting on a birthday gift "Wonderful Severus, you are here. We are waiting on Karkaroff and Avery, then Bellatrix has promised me a wonderful surprise."

"Excellent My Lord, Bellatrix never fails to disappoint." Severus replied with an air of smug boredom. Severus nodded once again said "My Lord" to dismiss himself and scanned the room; from his assessment every death eater within rank was present. 'Great a fucking party.' Severus thought looking smug and unapproachable as always.

Severus slowly moved about the room eavesdropping on conversations gathering different information from each group as he slowly walked pretending to admire things across the room or pictures on the walls. Shortly the last two members arrived and they were all directed to take their respective seats along the endless black table that had became their meeting spot. These meeting rarely went well, this is when they were handed out tasks; Severus wanted nothing more to do with any of this but this was the price he must pay for stupidity.

The Dark Lord stood behind the chair at the head of the table and started his usual rant of the importance of a pureblood race and how each and every person in his presence was an integral part of ridding their world of the 'filthy mudbloods' whom were ruining their superior race. Severus for once wasn't interested or paying attention, he had heard this same speech far too many times to care about what the man was hissing. He maintained his blank yet interested looking face as he looked directly at the Dark Lord and thought 'This is such bullshit.' the Dark Lord never even glanced at him, 'Good the bastard is locked out.' Severus internally gloating that he had the Dark Lord locked out of his mind; all the while to every other death eater there Severus was his usual smug, rigid and bitter self.

Severus in his boredom started looking up and down the table slowly and casually as to not draw attention to himself. Every seasoned death eater wore the same expression of fake attention, the newer ones hung on every word the vile man hissed; then Severus noticed something that shook him to his core. He locked eyes with Narcissa Malfoy; she had married Lucius the prior year even after his warnings to her. Narcissa was naturally pale but she was almost transparent today and the look of sheer terror couldn't be hidden. Severus swallowed hard thanking Merlin that wasn't his wife being forced to watch and even host these events. Severus couldn't remember ever seeing Narcissa at these meetings before but there had only been a few as most tasks were handed out individually.

These meeting meant something big was coming; these meeting always laid the ground work for future endeavors. The Dark Lord finally finished his 'Sermon' and Severus thought it best to start paying attention. "Now I believe our lovely Bellatrix has a surprise for me she would like to present." Voldermort hissed in Bellatrix's direction.

Bellatrix was beaming in excitement to the point of bouncing up and down in her seat before she leapt to her feet striding along the table stopping in front of her sister's chair. "Cissy! Come and help me bring My Lord his gift." Bellatrix cackled.

Narcissa looked petrified and sick as she stood but she managed to keep her gracefulness. Bellatrix and Narcissa vanished around a corner.

'Merlin you wouldn't know those two were sisters.' Severus thought 'One elegant and graceful and the other is batshit crazy.' Severus's thought were broken by Bellatrix and Narcissa returning with a man, whose head was covered in a black hood. Bellatrix was practically dragging the man forward while Narcissa was barely touching the man. Voldermort stood as Bellatrix approached with his 'gift' and Narcissa returned to her chair with a face full of disgust and fear.

"My Lord, I have captured this man and brought him to you, I think you will find him most useful." The crazy haired witch said almost begging for praise.

"Ah, Bellatrix I can tell by your excitement this shall be a worthy gift." Voldermort said eyeing the man like a child would an unwrapped present.

"My Lord I do hope I did well for you." Bellatrix said with pleading eyes.

'Dear Merlin, I wish he'd shagg her and get it over with.' Severus thought looking upon Bellatrix and her desperate pleas for gratitude. The Dark Lord eyed the bouncing witch before he removed the black hood uncovering the face of Augustus Rookwood. There were several gasps in the room from the few who recognized the man. He was an Unspeakable at the Ministry, which meant his job was of so much importance he was forbidden to speak of it.

"Bellatrix! You have done most wonderful my faithful servant! This is most excellent!" Voldermort almost sounded giddy. Augustus looked around the room panicked fearing his death. "No, Mr. Rookwood. I will not be killing you. I will however give you a choice." The Dark Lord hissed as he circled the man, with his wand at the ready and reading Rookwood's every thought. Rookwood couldn't find any words to say to the very intimidating man circling him like prey, all he could do is swallow hard and sweat profusely. "Mr. Rookwood you have two choices, you can join me and serve me willingly or I can make you do whatever I want whenever I want. Before you answer me know I can hear your thoughts and I will know if you are be deceptive." Voldermort said still slithering around the man.

Rookwood stood in silence for several minutes before he spoke "Ummm…Mr…."

"The Dark Lord or My Lord you idiot!" Bellatrix shrieked.

Rookwood cleared his throat and nodded his head "My Lord it would be my pleasure to serve you." The man uttered with a surprising amount of courage.

Voldermort stood still in front of Rookwood never breaking eye contact slowly moving his head back and forth looking into the mans mind trying to find deceit. When Voldermort was done peering into the mans mind and thoughts "I would never have thought such things of you Mr. Rookwood. I believe in time you will be a very valued servant. First, you must ask, you can not join my ranks without asking." The Dark Lord said in a tone of 'do as you wish, but meant do it or be Imperioused'.

Rookwood looked to the crazy witch who had brought him here with a questioning look.

"YOU MUST ASK FOR HIS MARK! YOU FOOL!" Bellatrix screamed.

Severus rolled his eyes thinking 'Yes Bella, because everyone knows how to become a death eater off the street.' Rookwood looked to the Dark Lord and uttered the same words everyone in the room had on the exception of Narcissa "My Lord may I receive your mark."

"Yes, you may my good and faithful servant." Voldermort hissed with a gleam in his eye. Rookwood was doing what every death eater does after hearing those words; he fought the pain for about 10 seconds, then gave in to howling at the searing pain that would now be his own brand of hell. "Excellent! We are now deeper inside the Ministry!" Voldermort happily yelled slapping Rookwood on the back.

Narcissa was now trying to make herself useful without being drawn into what had just transpired, she thought by making herself look like a busy housewife and guest she would be left alone. She was pouring drinks and handing them out as fast as she possibly could. Severus was one of the last people she served as he had taken to a dark corner having his fill of this vile gathering. Narcissa walked up to him visibly shaken "S….Severus, it's so nice to see you again. You should stop by next week sometime. Perhaps Wednesday around noon. We can have tea and catch up." She was being polite but her eyes were betraying her, she was nearly begging.

Severus gave her a knowing nod "That would be lovely, Narcissa. I will try my best to be here Wednesday at noon."

Narcissa let out a long breath of relief quietly said, "Thank you." And gracefully went back to her hostess work. Severus shook his head as she walked off thinking 'I told you so.'

Voldermort carried on with his party for a couple of hours before declaring they were free to go. He would have probably carried on all night had he not had Bellatrix under his arm knowing he had sent her husband off on a 'mission' two days before.

Severus bid his goodbyes to the Dark Lord and Lucius and Narcissa, reassuring Narcissa he would return next week. Severus strode down the path that lead to the gates thinking 'You sick bastard, you used to enjoy that.' He sneered at himself in disgust. He walked through the gates and apparated to Prince Manor knowing Dumbledore would have already been called to the guest house. He and Dumbledore had things to discuss.


	30. Chapter 30

Shelby was serving tea to her Master and Madame's guests that had been having a long conversation about the war and how her Master was a huge help to the good side. Shelby had returned to the kitchen when she got the call to the Manor, without a word she left in a small pop with no one noticing.

"Master Snape! Can Shelby help you? Are you hurt Master?" Shelby cried in fear.

"I do need you Shelby but no I am not hurt." Severus answered while scribbling on a small piece of parchment, he quickly finished the note and looked down at Shelby with a stern face "Albus is at the guest house is he not?" "Yes Master." "Does anyone know you left?" Severus asked.

"I do not think so, Master." Shelby answered.

"Shelby do exactly as I say, apparate into my bedroom at the guest house. Listen from the hallway and see if anyone has noticed your absence. If they have tell them mother called for you, if they haven't find a way to give this letter to Albus without anyone seeing you. When Albus leaves you stay and do not mention my return. Do you understand?" "Yes Master." "Shelby please do this as quickly as possible but do not mess up or alert anyone that I'm home."

"Yes Master" Shelby replied as she took the parchment and left for the guest house, while Severus headed toward the bar.

Shelby did exactly as she was told; she listened in the hallway for only a short while until she decided that she had not been missed. She entered the kitchen looking desperately for something to help her get the letter to Dumbledore without it being obvious; her eyes landed on a bowl of yellow candy. 'Yes, this will work.' She thought, placing the parchment in her open palm on her right hand that she had folded several more times to make it smaller and carefully picked up the bowl of lemon candy. Shelby approached her target quietly trying not to break up the conversation "Sir, would you like some candy? Shelby has heard this kind mixes well with tea." She said quietly constantly flicking her eyes between her right hand and Dumbledores eyes.

Dumbledore gave a knowing nod, moving his hand under her right hand while grabbing a piece of the lemon candy out of the bowl with the other. He felt the parchment fall into his hand and saw the smile spread across the little elf's face, he closed his fingers around the paper and winked at Shelby "Thank you, very much." Shelby smiled and walked away triumphant knowing she had yet again made Master proud. Dumbledore took a minute to excuse himself to the loo as a ruse to read what the elf had given him. He unfolded the parchment it was short but to the point.

 

 

Albus, I am at the Manor. Please come quickly.

Do not alert Lily to me being home. She will follow you.

SS

 

 

Dumbledore returned to the sitting room and informed the trio that he felt they were safe and he desperately needed to return to Hogwarts and should they need him for any reason to send Shelby, as she would be quicker and safer. The trio felt a little uneasy being left alone but bid Dumbledore a quick goodbye.

Dumbledore quickly arrived at the Manor knowing exactly where he would find Severus, he smiled as he spotted the young man sitting on a stool at the bar drinking a glass of whiskey and noticed another glass waiting on him probably filled with brandy. "Hello Severus." Dumbledore said as he glided into the room.

"Albus." Severus replied setting his glass down on the bar.

"I assume you have important news for me considering the measures your little elf took to make that parchment such a secret." Dumbledore questioned.

"I'm afraid I do. More than likely you will not take this news well, I would advise you to drink that first." Severus said gesturing to the waiting glass of brandy.

"Very well then." Dumbledore responded while taking the stool next to Severus.

They finished their drinks in silence, Severus poured another round before he told of the days events of Rookwood taking the mark and all the information he had gathered while circling the room at Malfoy Manor. "So in summary, an Unspeakable is branded and several aurors have hits on them to be killed or Imperioused depending on how valuable they are. He wants the aurors under control because they have almost eliminated his alliance with the giants and werewolves. The only werewolf who seems unfazed is Greyback, but we both know he's sadistic and unhinged. Basically the Ministry is infiltrated and can not be trusted." Severus said with a defeated huff.

"I can not understand Rookwood taking the mark. Voldermort must have something over him." Dumbledore said in disbelief.

Severus took another drink before correcting him "Actually no he didn't, Bellatrix presented him as a 'gift', he was told he would not be killed and given the choice to take the mark or be Imperioused. When he agreed to the mark the Dark Lord was in his mind and made mention of seeing things that shocked him, the man has secrets but they weren't known until he agreed to join ranks."

"Dear Merlin." Dumbledore muttered taking a long drink of his brandy.

"I must ask, have you gotten that record out of the Ministry?" Severus asked nervously.

"Yes my boy, I retrieved it that day. The task proved easier than I initially thought it would be. The record is safe. It will not be found until you ask for it." Dumbledore smiled seeing he was easing Severus's fears.

Severus's whole body relaxed at those words, "So she is safe at least until June then?"

"Indeed, do not forget that June is only 6 months away. We shall need a new solution by then." Dumbledore reminding him they still weren't safe in the long run.

"Yes, I know." Severus said defeated.

"I have a feeling things will work themselves out my boy. Do not worry yourself to badly over it but do be thinking of ideas." Dumbledore said with a small smile while patting Severus's shoulder. "I must be off. I need to make plans to gather other Order members to inform them of this disturbing news you have so bravely provided. Thank you again Severus. Stay safe my boy and get home to that lovely wife of yours, there's only a few hours left in this year." With a wink he was gone.

Severus finished his drink thinking the entire time, he replayed the whole year in his mind; he had gone from alone and dirt poor, to having the love of his life only to lose her by his own stupidity, to the loss of Eros, to all the vile and disgusting things he had done in the Dark Lords name, to Merlin seeing fit to give him another chance at life and love, to sitting in a mansion he owned, drinking very expensive whiskey and having a wife he needed to get back to. Severus smiled at the last thought, sat down the now empty glass and apparated home to his wife.

Severus had no more got his footing inside the guest house before he was attacked by a small but ferocious mass of red hair, Lily had catapult herself unto him; her legs wrapped around his waist, she was hugging him so hard he thought she may have broken bones and her muffled sobs and words made no sense. His heart leapt at her reaction, no one had ever loved him like her, no one had ever cared for him like her and she was everything he had ever wanted. He gently placed his hand on the back of her head and shushed her trying to calm her down "Love, I'm fine. It was just a meeting. It wasn't anything awful. I promise I'm fine."

Lily refusing to let go finally managed a sentence he could understand "I hate this! I was so worried."

Severus realizing Lily wouldn't be letting go of him anytime soon made his way to a chair sitting them both into it "Lily, look at me." Lily looked up all puffy eyed and tear streaked. The sight of her state tore at his heart, he dried her face with his thumbs "Love, I have to do this. I'm doing this for us. I know the Dark Lord is locked out of my mind. If he were not he would surely have killed me on the spot today for some of the things I thought." Severus said with a slight chuckle trying to lighten her mood.

"That's not funny Sev! I don't know how you expect me to finish school never knowing if you are dead or alive! Why can't I quit and stay here with you! I don't have to work right now. I can always find something to do later. I can make as many potions as you can!" Lily spat in anger at their situation.

Severus arched an eyebrow "You must finish! You will not give up your dreams because of me. Lily you fell apart with Sirius and Remus here, how will you cope here alone? Sometimes I am gone for several days. You are safer at Hogwarts!"

Lily arched an eyebrow back in defiance "What if my dreams have changed? I discussed my career options with McGonagall last year! A lot has changed since then and so have I!"

Severus drew a deep breath and let it out slowly "Love, we have very few hours until Dumbledore comes to gather you three. Please can we discuss this later? I am home safe and sound, it is New Years Eve and I would like to enter 1978 with a decent buzz, you in a much better mood, and my new friends over there, all enjoying ourselves. I promise if you let this go we will discuss this matter at length and seriously debate what is best for you. Can we please do that?"

Lily narrowed her eyes at him "You promise me a serious talk about me leaving school soon?"

"I promise we can discuss that topic as long as you wish until one of us makes more sense than the other, just not tonight and not tomorrow." Severus answered looking her straight in the eyes.

"Fine, I will leave the matter alone. For now. I'm just glad you're home and safe." Lily said as she locked him into another bone crushing hug. When she pulled away from the hug she looked at him and smiled, kiss him long and hard breaking the kiss with "I love you."

"I love you. More." Severus said with a smile. "What time is it?" he asked.

Sirius chimed in with "Time for you two to get a room!"

Remus elbowed him and said, "It's almost 10 o'clock."


	31. Chapter 31

Severus smiled at Lily then patted her hip "Off me witch!" Lily looked a little hurt until Severus stood beside her and whispered in her ear "For now" which immediately flushed her cheeks. Severus returned with four bottles of whiskey he sat three of them of them on coffee table.

With one bottle in his hand he walked over to Remus who was sitting on the couch with Sirius "Remus Lupin, as long as I can remember I have looked at you as a loathsome creature, you were amongst my tormentors which only fueled my distain for you. I have wished you harm and ill will almost as long as I have known you. When I first found myself saddled with you and your friend I was nearly livid but because of selfish reasons I accepted and allowed you to stay in my home, to teach you things I hope one day will prove useful to you. Since I have spent time with you and we have both grown I have found you to be an extraordinary HUMAN being. You are honest, caring, kind and forgiving. You took care of the woman I love with my whole being while I was off being an ignorant fool; for that I will always owe you. I apologize for my distasteful judgment of you; please know that I no longer look at you that way anymore. I dare to say I consider you a friend. Please except this bottle of whiskey as a gift from me, with every drink you take either forgive me a sin or replace a bad thought of me with a good one."

Remus was slack jawed and speechless as he took the bottle from Snape's hand, he looked at it baffled "Uh…. Snape. I have no hard feelings toward you anymore. I hated you at one point but I now understand what was at stake and why you had to hurt her. I'm also sorry for my childish behavior and yes, I do consider you a friend." Remus said gaining more confidence with each word.

Severus smiled and nodded in approval. Severus turned and picked up another bottle looking at Sirius this time "Sirius Black, truth be told we have made each other lives hell, from pranks at school to issues with Lily and where her heart lies. Yes, I know all about your time with her. People do talk…. A lot. I can not apologize for winning her heart in the end because I am a selfish bastard and I have loved her since the day we met. I do hope love finds you though. I could stand here all day stating the obvious but I find it unnecessary, we have hated each other equally and treated each other horribly. I have grown a lot and I think you have to, I can understand your bitterness toward me where Lily is involved but I do apologize genuinely for all of my other misdeeds toward you. You are no longer my enemy; I no longer wish death upon the sight of you. I know I owe you as well for the things you did for Lily in my absence and should I ever be able to help you all you need to do is ask. I'm not sure what to call you, as I know you probably have unresolved hatred toward me and that is understandable. I do wish to put our childish past behind us in any event. Please except this bottle of whiskey as a gift from me, with every drink you take either forgive me a sin or replace a bad thought of me with a good one."

Sirius chuckled and shook his head he looked up to Snape with a face full of amusement "You know I want to hate you right? I really want to hate you. Then we are thrown together in YOUR house and I'm forced to see you, as more than a bastard, coward git and I can't hate you because I get it. Dude it takes balls to do what you're doing. I don't think I could do it. As for Lily, I took a chance and lost, I was warned before I did it. I knew I was gambling and I lost. To be perfectly honest she never looked at me like she does you and it's a game I'm glad I lost. She would never have loved me like she does you. I forgive you too, I'm always gonna fuck with you because that's just me. I expect insults and random pranks from you as well because that's just who we are and yes you arrogant, smug prick I look at you as a friend. Thanks dude."

"You are most welcome you cocky son of a bitch." Severus said with a smile.

Severus picked up the third bottle and walked toward Lily who was already shaking her head 'no'. Severus looked at her pleading "Love, I need to apologize to you the most. Plea…." Severus was silenced by Lily's hand over his mouth "Severus Snape. I love you. I know you have wronged me and hurt me and I know some parts of my memory have been erased. (A glass shattering on the floor could be heard behind them) I don't know what was taken from me and I don't want to know. Not ever. I do not ever want to hear another apology from you about our past. We have wronged each other. I forgive you and you forgive me and that's the end of it. I will take your bottle of whiskey and drink to every good memory I have of you though." Lily removed her hand and arched her eyebrows to say 'Just don't.'

Severus pursed his lips and nodded in acceptance that she had said all there was needed to be said. Severus turned and picked up the last bottle talking mostly to Sirius and Remus "This one is mine. It is my choice to, with each drink forget our awful moments and replace them with better ones. I hope we all have many more good memories to share next year with fewer apologies." Severus cracked the seal on his bottled followed by everyone else, as he raised the bottle slightly "Here's to us, forgetting our pasts and paving new relationships." Everyone raised their bottle in toast and they began to wash away 1977 one drink at a time.

The closer to midnight they got the more smashed everyone became, they had spent their time since the round of apologies and forgiveness laughing and talking of their best memories. The incident between Remus and Sirius was brought up again, instead of embarrassing silence the two guys laughed about it but couldn't explain how they had ended up in the bedroom together but confirmed Eileen had heard them fighting and not having sex. Lily and Severus didn't exactly buy the story but didn't question it further.

"You know when Dumbledore suggested you all stay here I just knew this would be hell. I surely thought we would have killed each other by now." Severus slurred.

"No, shit man. Who would of ever thought we would have come from you telling me to kill you in a bar to us sitting here drinking and laughing as friends in your house in a week!" Sirius drunkenly laughed.

"I love this! I love that I can have all of you together without trying to kill each other." Lily smiled brightly

"Sometimes I think that old man does these things on purpose. He knew if he locked us together and made us work together we would either forgive each other or kill each other." Remus stated thinking deeply.

"The man is a genius. None the less this has been the best week I have had in a very long time. I'm glad he locked us together. We should have done this long ago. It would have changed a lot of things." Severus said pondering Dumbledore's true intentions.

"A lot of crazy shit has happened this week but it all happened for a reason. We all needed this and he knew it." Remus chimed in following Severus's thought.

They raised their bottles once again "To the genius old fart Dumbledore!" before consuming even more alcohol.

Lily laughed and looked at Remus "Moony love, remember what I told you at the lake. I know your hiding something from me. I was hurt but I understand. Either way I'm here when you get ready."

Remus chuckled and looked to the floor "I remember sweetheart. In my own time doll."

Lily nodded "Good enough."

Lily then looked at Sirius and smirked "I forgive you now, we weren't meant to be. I gave my heart to Sev long before you came into my life but thank you for everything. I'd of never survived that time without you two. I forgive you for what happened in the bar. I hope one day you and Remus find the kind of love Sev and I have. You still love me as a friend?"

Sirius smirked back at her "Lily love I never break a promise, I never stopped loving you. I just love you in a different way now. You are my buddies 'Ol lady now. I love you as a friend, always will."

"Call me an 'Ol lady again and I will hex your balls off." Lily said with narrowed eyes and a smile. Remus started cackling at the mention of balls once again.

"What is it with him and balls?" Severus asked.

"Bloody hell if I know!" Lily slurred.

Severus, Lily and Sirius took turns randomly dropping the word 'balls' into random conversations just to see Remus lose his composure every time. By 5 minutes to midnight the floor was littered with empty whiskey bottles and they were all sore from laughing and drunk as hell. A decent thought couldn't be formed putting all four of their brilliant minds together.

Lily noticed they only had a few seconds left until the stroke of midnight. "Grab your partner quick! You gotta kiss them at the stroke of midnight to make sure you're with them all year!" Lily yelled as she crawled into Severus's lap. '3…..2….1' at the stroke of midnight Lily and Severus shared a beautiful kiss, never noticing that Remus grabbed Sirius by the collar of his shirt and smashed their lips together.

"You fucker!" Sirius barked as he wiped his lips with the sleeve of his shirt.

Remus started cackling again saying "I love you too."

Lily and Severus looked at the two wide-eyed guessing what had happened but acted as if they didn't notice. "Welcome to 1978! The year of much better things." Severus said making yet another toast.

"Let's hope so!" Remus slurred.

They spent the next hour continuing on with their drinking and banter. "Gentlemen, this has been a wonderful evening and I have enjoyed your company immensely but I am taking the love of my life to our room to be alone with her before she must depart from me tomorrow. I bid you goodnight and Happy New Year." Severus slurred as he picked up Lily throwing her over his shoulder and stumbling to their room.

"For the love of Merlin, don't forget to cast a silencing charm!" Sirius yelled after them.

"Got it!" Severus yelled back.

"This has been a hell of a week huh, Moony" Sirius said quietly.

"That it has, one I won't be forgetting anytime soon." Remus replied a small smile playing on his lips.

"I'm sorry I lost it on you the other day. I shouldn't have acted like that. It was just a shock after all this time. I never knew." Sirius solemnly slurred.

Remus looked down at the ground he was still a little bitter at what Sirius had said to him, he had been cold and hurtful and Remus wasn't quite ready to forget it even in his drunken state. Remus turned up the whiskey bottle and finished it off with one long drink, trying to hold back tears he said "It is, what it is." as he threw the now empty bottle into the pile with the others. He then got up and staggered to the guest room, he just wanted to be alone and go to sleep. The hurt was back and he didn't want to feel it.

Sirius watched him as he made his way to the guest room 'Fuck, I really did hurt his feelings.' He thought. Sirius sat there on the couch alone for the longest time drinking and thinking, which sometimes isn't the best combination; then again sometimes drunken mistakes turn out to bring wonderful things.


	32. Chapter 32

Sirius spent a long time pondering the events of the past week. He had lost Lily to Snape, it hurt but after watching them together he realized she was never really his and that made it a lot easier to deal with. Snape had went from a bastard he would have gladly killed to actually looking at him as a friend, hell he didn't have to teach us anything but he did. Then there was the incident with Remus the night of the 'wedding' how in the hell did I end up in bed with Remus and what in the hell made me act like that! He thought long and hard about that night but it was all a blur he couldn't recall anything. Then it was like a light bulb went off in his head "Remus knows! That's why that asshole keeps laughing at the word balls! Dammit what in the hell did I do?!" Sirius groaned to himself. Without thinking Sirius marched himself straight into the guest room where Remus was asleep "Remus, Remus wake up! I need to talk to you!" Sirius whispered while pushing on his sleeping friends shoulder.

"Sirius go back to bed!" Remus grumbled not wanting to deal with this in the middle of the night.

"No dammit! We need to talk! Please Moony….. Please talk to me." Sirius begged.

Remus let out a long frustrated huff then rolled over to face Sirius who was sitting on the side of the bed "What Sirius? What is so important you couldn't wait?"

"What happened the other night? I know you know! That's why you laugh every time someone says 'balls'. What did I do?" Sirius said with a knowing look.

Remus let out an exasperated laugh "Sirius go back to bed."

"No! Tell me what happened! I need to know!" Sirius demanded.

"Sirius nothing good will come of this. Leave it be. Forget it happened and go back to bed." Remus said sadly.

"NO! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED! I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU DO!" Sirius shouted.

"You are a damn brat, do you know that? I told you no good will come of this! Yes, I fucking remember what happened. You don't and you're better off not remembering it. After the shit you said to me later on, trust me you don't want to know what happened! Now shut the hell up and go back to bed you drunk idiot!" Remus bit back with the hurt showing.

Sirius drew a deep breath "Remus, I know I hurt your feelings. I can't truly apologize for that unless I know exactly what I'm apologizing for!"

Remus sat up in the bed cocked his head to one side with arched eyebrows and fire in his eyes, "You really want to know? You really want to know EVERYTHING that was said and done that night? I remember all of it, I can give you every detail. You sure you want to know because once I tell you there is no going back! This is some life altering shit Sirius! I have warned you twice already to leave it be but if you tell me yes then I will tell you everything that happened that night even how we ended up in here together. Now, are you positive you want to know? This is your last chance to back away, forget it and move on!"

"I want to know, all of it!" Sirius said flatly.

Remus narrowed his eyes "Sirius just forget it. Please."

"No dammit! You told me you would tell me! Spit it out! ALL OF IT!" Sirius bit back showing no sign of backing down.

Remus nodded his head in acceptance that he was about to open Pandora's box, "Ok, then I gave you a chance to walk away, this is all probably going to sound like a horrible prank but it is not, everything I am about to tell you is the truth. Granted we were drunk but all of this did take place, I wouldn't lie or prank you about something like this. I promise. Stay here I'll be right back. You need to be sober for this because I will not go through this again." Remus then got out of bed and left the room, he returned with a vial and water. "Drink half of this." He said handing Sirius the vial. Sirius did as he was asked gagging at the horrible taste. Remus took the other half.

"That was a buzz kill!" Sirius said wiping his tongue on his shirt trying to get the taste out of his mouth.

"Good it worked then!" Remus said chuckling. "Now that you are sober are you sure you want me to tell you this? I can't seem to make you understand that once you hear these words everything will change." Remus asked one last time trying to keep that night hidden.

"Remus, I need to know what happened. I'm dead sober now and still begging for the truth. Please tell me. We or I or….. whatever, will deal with the consequences as they come. Now tell me what happened!" Sirius growing more impatient.

Remus sighed tears welling up in his eyes "Promise me you won't hate me. I can't lose you. I was drunk too."

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows "Remus it can't be that bad dude. Just tell me."

"Ok then, Well after Snape and Lily went to their room after the 'wedding' we were going to sleep in the living room but being drunk we decided we were bored and wanted to go outside. I suggested you take your animagus form because of not knowing where we were exactly so you did. We walked around until we found a small lake or maybe a huge pond, I'm not sure what exactly it was. Your dumbass jumped in and of course it was freezing, you paddled around for a minute and then swam back to the shore. In your dog form you shook off the freezing ass water onto me getting me soaking wet, then well…..your balls must….. have been cold….. because you started licking them." Remus laughing trying to get out the last sentence.

"Oh bloody hell!" Sirius said covering his face.

"Of course I lost my shit right there seeing this big ass black dog that is my best friend licking his man sized balls trying to warm them." Remus managed still chuckling.

"Merlin tell me I came in and brushed my teeth." Sirius asked embarrassed.

"Getting there. So apparently that wasn't working so you shifted back into human form and wanted to come back to the house. I had placed two pints of whiskey in my back pockets before we left so we drank on those trying to find the house. It got to a point to where you were shivering from the cold so bad that I felt sorry for you and I told you to hug me from behind to gather body heat from me and block you from the wind. You did and by the time our drunk asses found the house we were both freezing and even more drunk than we were when we left. With me so far?" Remus questioned trying to stall this as long as he could.

"Yeah, I don't see the life altering part though." Sirius answered smirking.

"Stay with me and remember how drunk we were. Ok, so we found the house, both soaking wet and freezing. Our bright idea was to shower but neither of us wanted to wait or to sneak into Snape and Lily's room so we decided to shower together in our underwear. That plan was working until you decided that you needed to check your balls for frostbite. So in your drunken panic to check your balls, you tried removing your underwear in the slippery ass shower and ended up falling into me. I was pinned against the wall under the shower head trying to hold you up." Remus stopped and stared down at his fidgeting hands.

"Remus….." Sirius said in a tone of question and anxiety.

Remus looked out the window swallowing hard.

"Remus, what happened?" Sirius said this time pleading.

Remus didn't want to tell him anymore, he knew as sure as he told him of the next events their friendship would surely be over.

"Remus, whatever happened it's ok. Just tell me what happened." Sirius said trying to get the rest of the story out of his friend who looked absolutely miserable.

Remus took a deep breath looked at Sirius and smiled knowing this would probably be the last friendly exchange they ever had.

Sirius smiled back lightly slapping his knee, "Come on dude, I know we didn't have sex. My ass didn't hurt."

Remus chuckled, shook his head, gathered his courage and began again, "So yeah, you had me pinned against the wall under the shower head. We both were laughing hysterically at first, you were standing there drunk as hell, underwear caught up in a bind somewhere down your legs and the more you tried to get them off the worse things got. You finally gave up and put your head on my chest laughing, you stood there laughing for a while. Finally, I grabbed a handful of your soaking wet hair to pull your face back so I could tell you we needed to get out of the shower before we both drowned and you had this weird look on your face, so I asked if you were alright, and then you…..well…..you kissed me, and I kissed you back." Remus stopped knowing that little tid bit would hit Sirius hard.

Sirius was now sitting rigid and shocked trying to find words, "I…..I kissed….you?"

Remus nodded his head giving Sirius more time to take that in before he continued.

Sirius was now rubbing his forehead trying to remember but nothing came to him, "Then what happened." He asked in an unsure tone.

Remus looked up with a arched eyebrow as if saying 'do you really want to know'. Sirius waved his hand in the motion of come on with it. Remus with a 'Merlin help me face' continued on, "Well we made out in the shower until the water was ice cold, I guess we got lost in what we were doing because it took us a while to figure out we were freezing, so we came in here where there were blankets and continued to…..do….stuff."

"And….." Sirius said getting frustrated with Remus's constant pauses.

"Sirius there is no elegant way to put this…." Remus now frustrated at himself.

"Then just fucking spit it out." Sirius said flatly.

Remus arched his eyebrows, sucked air through his teeth, "We had sex. I bottomed that's why you had no clue the next day."

"Oh….Holy shit!….So we really….did…" Sirius asked wide-eyed.

Remus put his head down and mumbled "Yes, we did it….all of it."

The two sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Both of them were thinking but they were thinking two totally different things. Of course neither of them knew what the other was thinking.

"So I started it then?" Sirius asked for clarification.

"Yes, but I was very willing. I'm sorry if you feel like I took advantage of you, since you know about me now." Remus said just above a whisper.

"So that's why you told me you were gay the day I blew up on you." Sirius finally putting the pieces together.

"Yes, I have known for some time I am gay. After that night I thought maybe you were bisexual but after you blew up on me, I knew it was just a drunken mistake." Remus confirmed with his head down. "I didn't remember any of this when we woke up the next morning but after I took the hangover potion and ate it started coming back, and I thought since you started it that maybe….. but then you got madder as the day went on then you wouldn't even speak to me the next day. I didn't realize you didn't remember any of it until I told you I was gay and you said all that…." Remus said trying desperately to hold back tears.

Sirius now felt like a gigantic pile of shit, he called to Remus to look up at him several times but Remus refused to look up, with the moonlight shining through the curtain directly on Remus's face Sirius seen a tear streak down his face, which made him feel even worse. 'Ok there's not but one way to fix this.' he thought. He stood up grabbed Remus by the thighs jerked him half way down the bed then jumped straddle of him, quickly pinning his hands down to keep him from fighting him off, "Remus Lupin look at me!" he barked sternly.

Remus finally gave in and meet his eyes, tears spilling knowing he had just lost his best friend, then Sirius smiled at him. 'What the hell, why is he smiling?!' Remus thought.

"Thank you for telling me the truth. I know it must have been hard. Now I'm going to tell you a truth that is hard for me. I am bisexual….well I always thought I was. I knew I looked at some guys in a way that I figured most men didn't. You were my first guy…..like that. I'm not mad at you. I'm kinda mad I don't remember it but that can't be helped. I blew up on you because….well I don't have an excuse for it. The only thing I know to say is that I was brought up to think being gay or bi was wrong and I didn't want to admit it to myself or anyone else. I truly am sorry for what I said. It was wrong and there is no excuse for it. Especially since I myself have looked at men like that and I practically molested you in the shower. Will you forgive me?" Sirius asked with a truly genuine face.

Remus was blown away, "You really are bi? You're not telling me that to make me feel better?"

Sirius looked at Remus with a face of 'would I lie about something like that.' "Yes, I am really bi! Do you forgive me?"

Remus couldn't help but laugh at his relief, even if nothing came of them he hadn't lost his best friend after all, through a chuckle he managed "Yes, I forgive you."

Sirius smirked "Good! Now I can do this!" the stone cold sober Sirius let go of Remus's wrists and leaned down and kissed him.

Remus wanted to get lost in that kiss, it was the kiss he had secretly waited on for several years, Sirius was willingly kissing him, it wasn't sloppy and drunk, it was slow, passionate, sensual, intentional, it was bliss, it was everything he had hoped it would be and he wanted to go with it but he had been in love with Sirius far too long to get hurt, so he broke the kiss. "Sirius, I can't….I mean… I don't want…."

"Remus…. Shut up. I know what you're thinking. No, I'm not doing this just to see if I really like it. I wouldn't use you like that! Damn, ever wonder why I always manage to find a way to go to the showers the same time as you? Dumbass! YOU are the guy I'm looking at in the way that I always thought I shouldn't. I want this, and you. Unless of course you don't…" Sirius cut him off.

Remus couldn't believe this was actually happening, "I can't lose you, I'd rather not do this if you're not sure. I'd rather keep you as a friend forever than to lose you because you regret this in the morning."

"Remus, I'm totally sober. I have lusted after you silently for years feeling it was wrong. I honestly don't give a shit about right and wrong anymore. I can't promise you forever right now but I can promise whether we work out or not we shall always remain friends and I never break a promise!" Sirius said mere inches from Remus's face.

That promise was good enough for Remus. Sirius had no clue that Remus was already hopelessly in love with him and had been for a long time. Remus even though he knew he was gay had never been with anyone else, he was scared of ending up with a broken heart and losing his best friend but a promise from Sirius Black was as solid as a vault in Gringott's. Remus chuckled at how all this had all turned out. "I still can't believe this is real." He said looking up at Sirius, who smiled at him. Remus thought 'Fuck it, if he breaks my heart it'll be worth it.' as he fisted a handful of Sirius's hair bringing their lips together, planning on showing him exactly what he couldn't remember.


	33. Chapter 33

Severus and Lily landed inside their bedroom at the guest house around 10:30 after spending a blissful sleepless night at the Manor.

"You think they're up yet?" Lily whispered.

Severus arched an eyebrow, gave a smug look and said, "So what if they are. It's not like they don't know what we were off to do last night."

Lily shrugged her shoulders saying, "True." As she quietly opened the bedroom door sticking her head out to see if she could hear voices. "I think they're still asleep." She whispered.

"Witch, I am starving! I'm going to the kitchen!" Severus said as he glided past her.

Lily huffed and followed him. Lily called for Shelby as Severus made coffee; tea wasn't going to keep them awake today. Shelby came and left and while Lily tiptoed into the sitting room expecting to find one of her friends but found an empty room. "Sev, can you come in here." She called.

Severus walked in scanning the room noticing the same thing his wife did. "Well this is odd." Severus said baffled.

"This can't be good." Lily groaned.

"Surely they didn't wonder off or kill each other." Severus half stated half asked.

"Who knows anymore with those two. One minute they're friends, the next it's weird then they're ready to kill each other." Lily said rubbing her forehead in frustration.

They returned to the kitchen where breakfast was already sitting on the table. Severus started to sit but noticed Lily looking down the hall biting her bottom lip. "No….." he said in a low tone. Lily gave him that look he knew well it was the 'please do this with me look'. "Witch, if I see anything I do not wish to see…."

"Oh, come on Sev. We'll be really quiet and if they're in there at least we know they're alright!" Lily pleaded.

Severus rolled his eyes and quietly followed. They slithered down the hall like a pair of snakes being as silent as possible; they reached the door they both looked at the knob and then to each other like 'you open it'. Severus crossed his arms in defiance, Lily narrowed her eyes but relented and slowly turned the knob and gingerly pushed open the door. Severus standing behind her and being at least a head taller could see exactly what she was seeing and immediately put his hand over her mouth before she made a sound and silently shut the door.

They were back inside the kitchen Severus still had his hand over Lily's mouth, he leaned down and in his velvet tone whispered "When I move my hand Do. Not .Scream!" Lily nodded and Severus removed his hand closing his eyes waiting on the scream that would surely wake the entire wizard world, much to his surprise it never came. He opened his eyes to see the beautiful red head, pale as a ghost and slack jawed. Severus chuckled and gently helped his very stunned wife into a kitchen chair. Lily sat in silence staring blankly at nothing, Severus could almost see the gears turning in her head trying to wrap her mind around what she had just seen. He sat with his elbow propped on the table chin in his palm just staring at her smiling. "Love, at least you know they're alright now." He said with a sarcastic laugh.

Lily's trance had seemed to be broken but she was still visibly shaken "Yes, I assume they are more than alright. Sev, the next time I want to be nosy please remind me of this."

Severus laughed, "Please don't make me relive that every time you wish to be nosy."

"Right, then just say 'Remember last time.' then." Lily said quietly.

Breakfast was fairly quiet as they both were trying to get the picture of their very obviously naked friends barely covered by a blanket asleep in each other's arms, out of their minds. Shelby came and cleared breakfast and they sat at the table talking in hushed tones

"What are we going to do when they get up? I have to go back to school with them! How can I act normal around them knowing about this?" Lily asked in a panic.

Severus chuckled shaking his head, "Love I really don't know. Pretend we didn't see it would be my suggestion."

"Well now I know what the big secret is! That joke wasn't a joke! I wonder how long they have been sleeping together! Well now I'm even happier I never slept with Sirius because that would make all of this even more uncomfortable. I can't imagine being in a twisted jealous triangle between Sirius, Remus and myself. This is weird but good….does that make sense? They have each other and we have each other but I never thought that…..Oh, hell….just whatever. I'm happy if they're happy." Lily ranted.

Severus raised his eyebrows nearly to his hairline at the mention of Lily and Sirius and the word sex, "I didn't realize that your relationship with Sirius was that intimate. I knew you two spent a lot of time together but….did I hear you correctly? You did not have sex with him?"

Lily quickly realized her mistake in her babbling "Sev, we made out but we never slept together I promise."

Severus nodded his head in acceptance then realizing his mistake in even questioning it, because now he had opened a door for her, as expected she was giving him 'that look'. 'Great, now I must continue this lie.' he thought. "Just the one Lily, It was a mistake. I am sorry."

Lily nodded her head, bit back the hurt and changed the subject. "Well, so we are just going to act like we know nothing correct?" Lily asking to make sure they had a plan.

"Yes, love we don't know a thing. Just act natural, I'm sure they will think of something before coming out here." Severus and Lily continued on their conversation staying away from touchy subjects, as they didn't want to fight on their last day together for a short while.

In the guest room Remus lay awake with Sirius's head laying on his chest, he had done little more than barely breathe for the last 30 minutes not wanting Sirius to wake up. He was still trying to tame the fear that Sirius would wake up and flip out proclaiming last night a mistake and never speaking to him again. Remus wanted to relish in this moment in case it was the last. He watched Sirius sleep, he looked so innocent and childlike when he slept, 'Aggravating asshole does have a sweet side.' He thought. Remus at some point started absentmindedly playing with Sirius's hair lost in thoughts of the night before and how happy he was in that moment, the constant hair stroking must have woke Sirius. Remus's heart dropped as Sirius began to stir 'This is it. Truth time.' He thought.

Sirius squirmed around before finally opening his eyes, they quickly darted up to Remus who had fear written all over his face. Sirius smiled a sleepy smile "Morning."

Remus was dumbstruck, no yelling, no cussing, no getting pissed, no regrets about last night, just "Morning." Remus resumed playing with Sirius's long black locks feeling a little more confident that maybe some dreams do come true.

"You keep doing that and I'm going back to sleep." Sirius muttered into Remus's chest.

Remus chuckled "You know the more I think about it the more I agree with Lily on quitting school."

"Why?" Sirius questioned.

"Because we can't be like this there. Everything will have to be a secret and hidden, then I have to watch every single girl throw herself at you. You're a natural flirt so this won't be easy to watch." Remus said in a sad tone.

"Hmmmm…. Well if that's the way you want it." Sirius replied.

"No, that is not how I want it! I want to be done with all that shit so we can do as we like, when we like! Come on Sirius like we can march into the Great Hall in the morning for breakfast holding hands and kissing each other goodbye between classes." Remus stating the obvious.

Sirius leaned up on an elbow propping himself up so he could see Remus's face "Mr. Lupin on what page in Hogwarts rule book does it say that a gay couple can't act as straight couples do?"

"Really Sirius, we are just gonna prance our asses back into the school like we own the damn place. Parade around like the wonderful gay couple we are. No big deal! Nothing to see here, just Sirius Black and his BOYFRIEND the werewolf Remus Lupin!" Remus retorted sarcasm dripping off every word.

"Why not? We do kinda own the place." Sirius smirked up at him. Remus gave him a very unimpressed look. Sirius huffed "Did I or did I not tell you last night I no longer cared about right or wrong? You feel right to me. Fuck everybody else. If they don't like it they can form a line and kiss our asses! Unless of course you would rather not go public…." Sirius said nonchalantly.

"You are impossible. How many openly gay people are there at Hogwarts?" Remus asked trying to make a point.

"Besides me and you? I don't know and frankly my dear I don't give a damn!" Sirius shot back not giving a damn about anyone else's opinion.

Remus started babbling again and Sirius didn't want to hear it, he pushed himself upward, grabbed Remus by the back of the head smashing their lips together in a long heated kiss that definitely shut Remus up. Sirius pulled away satisfied he had ended that conversation.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Fine then, you will see." Remus said as a final word on that subject. "You know we are already caught right? I heard Snape and Lily talking earlier."

Sirius looked at Remus half serious and half fake hurt, "You are really starting to hurt my feelings. It's almost as if you are ashamed of me!"

"You don't understand. I have been judged my whole life for being a werewolf, now I'm a gay werewolf." Remus trying to get his point across.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't know a thing about judgment would I? First Black to ever be sorted into Gryffindor, blood traitor disowned by his own family." Sirius bit back trying to make sense that everyone is judged.

"At least people don't fear you…." Remus mumbled with his head down. The next sound heard was a pillow colliding with Remus's face! "Asshole!" Remus shouted as he hit Sirius with the closest pillow he could find.

This exchange turned into a rather loud wrestling match, which didn't end until Remus tapped out agreeing that Sirius was right about not hiding their relationship.

"Remus, very few people know you are a werewolf. You are far harder on yourself than the world has ever been on you. You don't run around eating children on full moons, you have always done whatever it took to keep people safe around you. I've always admired that about you. I am not ashamed of the whole damn world knowing that I am with you. You deserve happiness, so do I. Now stop trying to ruin it before it even begins. Now, get dressed! I'm starving!" Sirius barked in triumph.

Remus rolled his eyes and grudgingly got dressed dreading facing Lily and Snape that by now surely knew something was up. Sirius was dressed and waiting at the door for Remus impatiently, Remus was dressed but he was standing stock still almost refusing to leave the room. Sirius arched an eyebrow and said with a wicked smile "We can do the easy way or the hard way, take your pick."

Remus couldn't muster the courage for even a word; he was petrified of Snape and Lily's reaction. They were the only other friends he had and he didn't want to lose them either.

"Fine then, hard way it is." Sirius said as he walked over to Remus, kissed him on the cheek then picked him up carrying him over his shoulder out the door.

"Dammit Sirius put me down!" Remus begged in fear.

"Nope! Today's mission is to show you what real friends are!" Sirius yelled back marching down the hallway. He entered the kitchen where Lily and Snape were setting looking rather amused at the sight. Remus thought this couldn't possibly get anymore embarrassing until Sirius opened his mouth, "Good Morning Lily dear, Good Morning Snape! I have some news for you! Remus and I are gay. We are dating now and we had sex last night and it was amazing! How was your night?"

Lily flushed red, Severus choked on his coffee, Remus was begging for death and Sirius was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Well congratulations, our night was wonderful as well." Lily sweetly chimed.

Severus cleared his throat and looked at Sirius with a smirk "This isn't news Sirius. You had sex the other night as well. Either way congratulations on coming out. I wish you both the best."

Sirius now decided to put down the rather red faced Remus. The poor embarrassed thing looked around in disbelief "That's it? Congratulations? You have nothing else to say?"

"No, is there something else we should say?" Lily asked confused.

"Neither of you have anything snide you're dying to say? No insults? Just like that, this is ok? You're not disgusted or mad?" Remus looking at both of them.

Lily and Snape looked to each other and then to Remus, "No. We're happy for you." Lily said sincerely.

Sirius was now silently gloating he was about to erupt if he didn't say, "I told you so!" With a wave of his hand toward Lily and Snape "These are real friends. They accept you exactly as you are. Anyone who doesn't can fuck off! Now do you want to be with me?"

"Yes, you know I do. I was….am….just scared of what people will say or do." Remus answered.

"I don't give a damn what other people say and if they do anything to harm you, I promise there isn't a place in hell they can hide. I refuse to make you a dirty little secret! End of damn conversation. I'm starving!" Sirius said matter of factly, and then asked Lily and Snape "Can you please call Shelby for food for me and my BOYFRIEND!"

Lily internally giggled knowing Sirius loved to show off those he loved and this would prove interesting, Remus was going to have to get used to the attention that came along with being on Sirius Black's arm. She called for Shelby to bring 'Mr. Black and his Boyfriend' brunch.

Shelby reappeared shortly placing a plate in front of Sirius saying "Mr. Black" then moved over to Remus placing his plate in front of him saying "Mr. Black's Boyfriend" winking at Lily before she was gone. The table erupted in laughter.

"I'm gonna miss that damn elf. I really love her, she's loyal yet cheeky." Sirius said with a smile.

Severus laughed, agreed and then mused aloud "Dumbledore threw us together to make us friends, won't he be shocked when he gets here and sees his matching skills at work."

Sirius laughed as well "We've got 6 months left and I intend on me and Moony making memories people will be talking about for generations."

"Dear Merlin." Remus groaned.

"Hey Moony, I wonder how many teacher's desks we can christen before we leave?" Sirius prodded.

"Lily, HELP ME PLEASE!" Remus begged.

"Remus love, I do remember you helping Sirius here prank me several times." Lily reminded with a devilish grin.

Severus laughed at the banter, "I almost wished I was going with you. I'd love to watch this."

The table fell into soft laughter and easy conversation. They almost felt like a small, broken, weird yet perfectly fitting family. Snape was like the dad of the group, being the same age but having already lived a lifetime gaining knowledge that the others were innocent to at the moment. Lily was the mum, always trying to take care of them and making them getting along, truth be told Lily was the glue that held them together. Sirius and Remus were like a twisted version of children who needed guidance, correction, life lessons, love and acceptance that only Lily and Snape could give them. Sirius and Remus gave Lily and Snape friendship and laughter they so desperately needed. Each of the four gave something that someone else needed making them all whole. They were a twisted group full of flaws but it worked and they were happy. In just a few short days all wrongs had been forgiven, truths had been told, secrets had been revealed, broken hearts mended and a long secret love found it's way to the light all of this of course nudged along by a rather well stocked liquor cabinet; it was as if the universe or Merlin was trying to give them all what they needed. Whatever or whomever had given them this week that had altered the rest of their lives was about to test them though, today was the day that would test every bond made within their little weird twisted family. It was time to return to Hogwarts, it was time to face the world, time to leave their sheltered and safe existence of husband and wife, enemies made friends, and friends made lovers.


	34. Chapter 34

Lily sat on the bed in their room pouting while Severus continued to pack her things for her. "You really are going to make me go back aren't you?!" Lily said almost in tears.

"Love we have discussed this. You will return and we will talk about this later." Severus said flatly never stopping his packing.

Lily was livid inside, she thought surely by now he would have changed his mind; but no he was packing for her after she had refused to do it. 'I have one card left, if this doesn't work nothing will.' She thought. She knew she was about to thoroughly piss off her husband but she didn't want to leave "You promised me, you made a vow to me and now you're standing here packing my shit to get me out of here as quickly as possible? Regretting your choice now Mr. Snape?" Lily bit cold and hurt.

Severus immediately stopped what he was doing looking down and clenching his teeth to keep from saying anything because in that moment he didn't trust what would leave his mouth. He looked up at Lily with a face of hurt and anger, taking a deep breath to calm himself before he spoke "I do not regret anything I have done since Christmas night when we returned here. I would have married you sober and knowingly last year. Now we are in a mess that I cannot immediately fix. I am working on correcting my mistake but I will not have you here alone. You can't handle it alone Lily! I am sending you back because I love you and it's what's best for you! Dammit I don't like this either but I know what's really going on out there! You have no damn clue and I hope like hell it stays that way! I promised you to never leave you by deception, I vowed to love you until death, to stay by your side, protect you at all costs, and to remain faithful! What I am doing now is protecting you at all costs which means sending you to the safest place I know of! Do I really WANT you to go? Hell no I don't! Do I have a choice? Not really! You can be pissed right now but you'll forgive me later! You're going back! End of story! Now if you wish to continue to waste what precious little time we have left questioning my love and loyalty we can do that but I'd much rather finish this and enjoy what time we have left instead of fighting!" Severus barked hurt and angry, he knew what she was doing but he couldn't allow it. His selfish side wanted nothing more than for them to take off and never look back but he couldn't allow that side to win, it was going to be hell with her gone but she would be safe there. For now.

Lily was now sitting quietly looking down at her hands regretting what she had just said, "Sev,…I'm sorry. I just don't want to leave you alone. I don't want to wake up alone every day. I don't want to worry day and night if you're alive or not. I feel like I should be here. Who will take care of you?" She said with tears streaking down her face.

Severus never could stand to see her cry, he softened and sat beside her taking her hand rubbing his thumb over her rings "Lily please understand this is best for now. I will try to find a way to let you know everyday I'm fine. You know you can call Shelby to you anywhere you are. You are her Madame now, she would be more than happy to report to you or bring you anything you want. Just make sure you're alone when you call her. It would be rather hard to explain how you called a house elf." Severus smiled at her thinking maybe he had given her some kind of peace of mind.

"I didn't think about that. I can hide somewhere and call for her and she has to tell me the truth!" Lily narrowed her eyes and smirked.

"Exactly love, she must tell the truth if you demand it of her." Severus smiled at her.

Lily huffed in frustration "I'll go, I don't want to but I'll go. Until we talk, by then I will have a bulletproof valid Snape proof reason to stay here!"

Severus shook his head and pulled Lily into his chest kissing the top of her head "I am going to miss this so much you insufferable witch!"

Sirius and Remus had their things packed for some time as guys don't need much and care very little about the state in which their stuff is in when they get where they are going. They sat in the sofa while Snape and Lily were talking and packing knowing that wasn't going well.

Sirius was levitating books on the coffee table to cure his boredom, while Remus had his head laid back against to cushion looking up at the ceiling thinking. He could only think about one thing, the goofball beside him and what was coming; 'This is going to be heaven and hell at the same time. I can just see us walking into the Great Hall in the morning with that damn fool carrying me over his shoulder and his dumbass proclaiming our relationship to the entire school in a scream heard all over campus.' He could actually see it in his mind and let out a laugh at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked still playing with the book.

"Just thinking about all the ways you will find to embarrass the shit out of me." Remus said softly.

Sirius gasped "Remus Lupin! I would never do such a thing to you. I plan on being the best boyfriend ever! I will carry you bridal style to breakfast every morning, every morning I will send you gifts, love notes or flowers by owl so everyone knows you are loved, I will sneak into your bed every night so you don't wake up alone and I will do this whenever I feel like it!" Sirius then jumped straddle of Remus kissing him softly.

"That's it? I thought the great lover that Sirius Black is known to be could do so much better." Remus said with a bored look.

Sirius arched an eyebrow and refused to take Remus's mock insult "I shall not disappoint you again, sweetheart." Sirius whispered into his ear as he slid his face across his now distraught lover. Sirius went in for a kiss but instead bit Remus's bottom lip gently releasing it as he pulled away with a look of sinful lust.

"For the love of Merlin, Sirius. You're starting something we can't finish!" Remus said in a panted fluster.

Sirius took that as a challenge and proceeded to tease and taunt Remus with kisses, bites and nibbles. Sirius was now leaving a rather large and obvious love bite on Remus's neck, while Remus was half assed begging him to stop but really didn't want him to.

Being caught up in their moment they never heard the apparition crack into the room they were making out in. The only thing that got their attention was someone saying "Well good afternoon boys!"

Sirius stopped his assault on Remus and both looked at each other wide eyed. They had managed to wrestle themselves into a laying position on the couch and neither could see who was standing in the room without making a large movement. Remus automatically panicked but couldn't move out of fear and Sirius just didn't care; Sirius started cackling thinking it was funny that they always managed to get caught.

Remus quietly hissed "This isn't funny!"

"Yes it is! And good afternoon to you!" Sirius said loudly to whoever was standing there.

They heard a chuckle and footsteps leaving the room.

Sirius was back to laughing and Remus couldn't have gotten any redder. "I hope like hell that's Mrs. Prince." Remus said putting his hands over his face. "At least she already thought we were gay. There won't be an awkward explanation needed."

Sirius pulled Remus's hands away from his face "It will be ok. It doesn't matter who just caught us, because I would tell them anyways. No one that I care about will ever be a secret. I care about you a lot, I care about you enough that I see how insecure you are about yourself as a whole, and I'm going to fix that. You have always had to hide things about yourself. We are not something I will allow you to hide. I understand your secret with 'that' but not about me or us, not ever, not to anyone. I will call the prophet and the Minister if that's what it takes to show you that you deserve to be cared for and about. Now, get up off this couch and proudly walk into the kitchen with me with your head high and your hand in mine. We will face whoever that is together."

Remus was nearly in tears "Damn you, how do you do that?"

Sirius smiled confused "Do what?"

Remus closed his eyes so the tears wouldn't fall "Make me think this is all going to be ok, and that we will work once we leave here."

Sirius gently kissed Remus whispering "Because it's true."

After a moment of composure Remus took Sirius's hand and like he had told him to the pair strode into the kitchen, head high and holding on to each other. Upon seeing who was sitting at the table sipping tea Sirius scratched the back of his head and laughed, Remus was losing color in his face quickly. "Sirius what in the hell?" Remus whispered.

Sirius gave loving smirk "What did I just tell you. Stop it." Sirius whispered back.

"Boys, you may as well come sit, I have known for quite some time." Dumbledore said with a playful smirk.

"Yes dears, you don't hide it well. Come sit and have tea with us." Eileen said as she poured two more cups.

Sirius and Remus were confused and shocked they both were thinking 'How the hell did he know?'.

Dumbledore said to them as they sat "I have known because when I so chose, I can read your thoughts. You two have thought of each other quite often. It's called legilimency. You should learn it as well as occlumency, then you can keep nosy people like me out of your heads."

"You can hear our thoughts?" Sirius asked baffled.

"Yes, when I choose to. Sometimes it's quite interesting to walk amongst the students listening to what they really think of each other, their teachers and even of me at times." Dumbledore said with a mischievous grin.

"Holy hell! I have to learn this!" Sirius said excited.

"In good time." Dumbledore reassured him.

"Ummm…..Headmaster. Is this going to be a problem? You know me and Sirius…..being together?" Remus stumbling to find courage and the right words.

"Mr. Lupin you know school rules, as long as you don't break those then your love life is none of mine or the staffs concern. Although, if I were you I might speak to Lily about covering that mark on your neck to avoid unwanted attention. Unless of course you would rather wear it proudly." Dumbledore gave a slight chuckle.

Remus looked to Sirius narrowing his eyes "You jackass!"

Sirius put his hand over his mouth trying not to laugh but failed miserably. Remus jumped up to go see how bad it was. "Baby…..it's not that bad!" Sirius yelled after him.

"Piss off Sirius!" Remus yelled back.

Eileen sat smiling widely at the pair "You two really are cute together."

"Thank you! I think we are too." Sirius said proudly.

From down the hall everyone heard Remus scream "Dammit Sirius! Are you fucking kidding me!?"

The three at the table laughed as they already knew how bad it was but Lily and Severus who were enjoying what time they had left together were shocked and thought they were fighting again. "Dammit!" Severus groaned knowing they had to go break them apart.

"They are going to have to stop this shit, I'm not breaking them apart for the next 6 months!" Lily huffed as she pulled her shirt back on. She stomped to the door slinging it open prepared to start yelling at the morons who were her friends only to find a furious Remus standing just outside her door. She was so concerned at his face she never noticed the very large purple bruise at the base of his neck; Snape did though, letting out laughter that could be hear all over the house. Lily then took a closer look at Remus finally seeing the source of her husbands' laughter. Lily bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing, trying to stifle laughter she managed "I'm guessing you need help with that. Huh?"

Through gritted teeth Remus said "If you don't mind. If you can't hide this I'm going to kill him."

Lily chuckled and grabbed Remus by the arm pulling him into her room and directed him to sit on the bed. "Thanks, Lily. Snape your mum and Dumbledore are in the kitchen." Remus managed in a more civil tone.

Lily's heart fell at the mention of Dumbledore and had to swallow the large lump in her throat as she looked to Severus who gave her the 'Love this is best look.'

"Well I'll go visit with them while you help Remus out." Severus said quietly as he left the room.

Lily healed the bruise as best she could, it was hardly visible now, she showed Remus who was now much calmer and was noticing the sadness written on her face. "Lily, we have always been kindred spirits in one way or another. More so than you ever realized until recently, I don't want to return either but we must. We have to face the world. I have to face my fear of ridicule and you have to face your fear of being without him again. I don't want to admit it but it really is for the best for all of us right now. He is doing something very dangerous to help end all of this and to free himself and to be able to love you openly and proudly. He can't do that properly with the constant fear of your safety. He's sending you back so he can do what he must without worrying about you. You do understand that right?"

Lily was in tears again "I know, I don't like it but I understand it."

Remus stood and hugged her "You have two gay best friends to keep you company and raise hell with. It'll go by quickly sweetheart."

Lily pulled away wiping her face and smiling up at Remus "Thanks, don't worry I'll keep your secret."

Remus laughed "Love you know as well as I do by midnight the entire castle will know."

Lily laughed with him "Yep! They sure will! This is going to be an adventure, good and bad for all of us."

"Yes it will, we shall face it together though. Come love, I'm sure it's almost time for us to go."


	35. Chapter 35

Remus and Lily entered the kitchen to a room full of people cackling and howling in laughter. Remus rolled his eyes then looked to the ceiling knowing Sirius was behind it. Lily looked on in amusement wondering what was so funny. Sirius managed to contain his laughter long enough to say "and that's why he would laugh every time we said 'balls'." Only to immediately start laughing again.

Lily looked to Remus with a smirk and an arched eyebrow.

Remus didn't even have to look at her to know she was silently asking to be filled in "I'll tell you later."

Lily didn't say another word; she walked over and sat in her husbands lap. Still chuckling he said, "You missed a hell of a story."

"I see that. Remus says he'll tell me later." Lily informed him.

The laughter was calming down "Sirius Black, I will murder you right here if you tell anymore of that story!" Remus said in a very matter of fact tone.

Sirius snickered "I promise, I'm done. No more stories today." Followed by a wink.

"Hello Mrs. Prince, Headmaster, I'm glad to see you." Lily said trying to be nice.

"Sweetheart you are family now, call me Eileen please. I only came by to see you off. Dumbledore and I had a meeting this morning and he informed me he must come take you three back to school today. I wanted to say good-bye and let you know should you need anything you may owl me at anytime. I will be more than happy to help you with anything dear." Eileen smiled at her.

Lily held back the tears she swore she wouldn't cry "Thank you. If you could help me keep tabs on Severus that would be wonderful."

"I can do that for you love." Eileen gave her a sad yet reassuring look.

Lily only nodded not trusting she could manage more words. Severus pulled her tight to him, kissing her cheek and whispering, "It won't be that long and Dumbledore said you could come home some weekends." Lily gave a half hearted smile "I know."

Dumbledore silently watched the room, part of him was gloating internally that all had worked as planned. Lily and Severus were back together where they belonged. Sirius and Remus finally admitted their secret lust that had started years ago, just as they should be. Three enemies made friends; like they could have always been had they made different choices years ago. He had also gained three new Order members upon their graduation and a spy. 'Funny, all it took was to lock them in a house together for a week.' He thought. He glanced at a nearby wall clock and drew a deep breath "I almost hate to do this….but we need to depart soon. I have many things to take care of and you all need to settle back into your rooms."

The whole room turned to look at the red head buried in Snape's chest quietly begging to stay and looking at his anguished face and he petted her head and shushed her.

"Gentlemen would you all escort an old lady outside for some fresh air. The grounds here are beautiful, come I will show them to you quickly." Eileen said daring either of them to argue with her, yet wore a smile.

"I do not see any old ladies present but it would be an honor to escort you outside." Dumbledore said as smooth as silk while hooking his arm inside Eileen's walking toward the door.

Sirius and Remus followed snickering, "Damn, Headmaster got some slick moves." Sirius whispered. Remus smiled and pushed Sirius through the door.

Severus held Lily and let her cry trying to comfort her, constantly whispering reassurances to her that all would work out and it wasn't very long at all compared to a lifetime. He managed to get her calmed down enough to make all kinds of promises of future things they would do, travel the world, never spend a day apart after she left school, and eventually adopt a few 'shitheads' to help fill the emptiness in the Manor. The talk of the future seemed to help, as she was now talking about how many she wanted to adopt and what colors their rooms would be. Severus did the manly thing and shook his head in agreement, anything was better than her crying. He loathed seeing her cry. He held her tight to him taking in everything that was her, her voice, her laugh, her scent, how when she made a quick movement he got slapped in the face with her long red hair, how just her touch could make him forget everything but her, he sat in awe of her; listening to her carry on about their future chiming in occasionally.

She was working on the details of nursery #3 when Eileen came back in. Eileen stood in the shadows quietly listening to her new daughter in law carry on about their future as her son just agreed to whatever she wanted. Eileen was so happy, because he was finally happy; that's all she ever really wanted for him. He seemed to have become a totally different person overnight almost, it was all due to the red head sitting in his lap talking about painting their third child's nursery purple because she wanted a girl but not a girly girl. 'I owe that girl the world and here I am about to break her heart. Merlin, if you're listening please I beg of you to watch over them and give them a long and happy life together.' Eileen thought. She stepped out of the shadows and locked eyes with Severus giving him that look.

He frowned and her face fell. "Love, it's time. Please don't cry. I can't bare it. I'll be fine, you have Shelby, my mother and you can come home every weekend I'm not away, I promise. Please don't cry." Severus begged.

Lily's heart sunk, all she wanted to do is cry and beg but she wouldn't do that, he was being strong so she was going to be strong. "You're right. It's only a few months. Don't think for one second I won't be calling Shelby at least three times a week though! I'll probably owl you the other two." Lily said looking at Eileen.

"You can owl me three times a day if you need to dear." Eileen said smiling at her.

"Ok then, let me do something very quickly and I'll be ready to go." Lily said as evenly as she could "Shelby" in an instant there stood the elf looking intent awaiting orders.

"Madame Snape, what can Shelby do for you?"

Lily sadly smiled at her then got down on her knees to be level with her "I do need something from you but I need you to make this a daily chore. I need you to watch over Master Snape, I need you to be here for him for whatever he needs, he'll probably be lonely, keep him company for me. Should he ever come home hurt, you are to tend to him as best you can, if you need help come get me, I don't care if it's one in the afternoon or three in the morning, come get me. Make sure he eats and sleeps, if he refuses remind him you have orders to tell me. I will probably call you to Hogwarts a few times a week, when I call you I expect the total truth. These are all things Master Snape and I have agreed to so you must do them. Should you ever feel that anything happens and you need me, you come get me immediately. I don't care what he says. If he is hurt or sick I give you permission to defy his order to not come and get me. Do you understand your new job Shelby?"

Shelby beamed at Lily knowing her Master had a wonderful and caring wife "Yes Madame Shelby understands and will do everything you asked of me."

Lily smiled relived "Thank you Shelby. I have to go now. I'll be at Hogwarts. I'll miss you." Lily said holding back tears. "Shelby will miss Madame Snape." Shelby said sadly.

Lily stood and took a long breath not wanting to walk out that door but she had to. Severus placed his hand in the small of her back gave her a sad smile and walked them both out the front door followed by Eileen and Shelby.

While Lily and Severus were saying final goodbyes and a very long kiss, Sirius spotted Shelby. "Shelby! I am going to miss you so damn much! You are the greatest little elf I have ever met! I wish you had a brother or sister just like you." Sirius patted her head while praising her.

"Mr. Black, Shelby does have several brothers and sisters. Most are much like me or they were before they lost their original master." Shelby said putting her head down.

"Shelby you never told us that!" Eileen said surprised.

"Shelby did not tell this. Shelby was afraid she would be freed and Shelby does not wish to leave her home or her Masters." Shelby said quietly.

"How many siblings do you have that do not have masters?" Eileen questioned.

"Shelby has two, a brother and a sister but they have a home. They don't like not having Masters though. They are very grateful for their home." Shelby answered.

"Where is their home Shelby?" Eileen getting a little frustrated.

"Madame Prince they are among the elves at Hogwarts. They both had the same master and when he passed there was no one to take his place. They heard Hogwarts let elves work there, they have been there since last year." Shelby finally giving a definitive answer.

"What are their names?" Sirius asked.

"Idgie and Jinco, Mr. Black." Shelby said a little hopeful.

Sirius looked at Eileen "I'll take Idgie if you'll take Jinco. I know them both, I snuck into the kitchen a lot last year. They are both good elves. If you talk to Dumbledore I'll pay whatever fee they have to have to release her. My family's elf hates me and I don't care for him so when mother passes Regulas will take him."

Eileen smiled "I will talk with him about it soon, it would help a lot to have another elf around with this situation." Eileen said as she tilted her head toward the couple that refused to let go of each other.

"Yeah it would. Nobody would question me having an elf at school." Sirius said looking at the two.

"Exactly! I will work on it and owl you in a few days." Eileen said with a smile.

"Come on let's get you all back to school." Dumbledore said breaking up their conversation.

They all said their goodbyes without a tear falling the last thing both Severus and Lily heard before she apparated away was "I love you."

Severus hit his knees as soon as she disappeared, Eileen sat on the ground beside him rubbing circles on his back, in a soothing voice saying almost the same words Severus had said to Lily only a short while earlier. Eileen sat with her only child, heart broken as he was but she was mum and she had to be the stronger one "Come love, let's go inside. You can't sit out here all night."

Severus never said a word, a tear rolling down his cheek as he walked determined into the house straight to the liquor cabinet. "I know you don't like it but I think today has bought me a pass mother." He said with no regret.

"Actually dear, grab another glass and I'll join you." Eileen said exasperated.

Severus arched an eyebrow at his mother but did as she asked. They drank in silence for the first round; on the second round Eileen confessed "I don't like seeing you drink so often because of your father. It worries me."

"Mother I will never be anything like that asshole. I will forbid alcohol from our home before I ever treat a child the way he treated me." Severus said flatly.

"I just wanted you to know dear." Eileen said softly. "I know I failed you as a child. You could have had a different life if it were not for me."

"Mother, not today please. I forgave you long ago. It's ok. If you want to help me, help me keep Lily where she is until June." Severus pleaded.

"I will do my best love." Eileen smiled.

Severus and Eileen spent most of the night talking about nothing of importance, just being together which is something they rarely did.

Dumbledore didn't apparate the trio into Hogwarts; they landed in Hogsmeade "Wait here 10 minutes and then start to the school." Dumbledore said in a very serious tone. They all nodded without question and waited their 10 minutes before starting the long walk to the castle.

"Moony, I've been thinking. I think I might be pushing you to hard about us, so I'm going to let you take the lead. You let me know when your ready to tell everyone. Fair enough?" Sirius asked.

Remus was so shocked he laughed "Sirius Black, we both know you will totally make it obvious, there really is no point in trying to hide it, but please don't send me owls everyday. Let's just act like a normal straight couple."

Lily walked beside them determined to stay strong she kept telling herself 'It's only six months'.

"You're probably right, but I will try if that's what you really want." Sirius said sincerely.

Remus looked at Sirius smiled, hooked his finger through a belt loop jerking him to him "You. Are. A. Damn. Lie. but thank you for thinking of me. I need to face this fear of judgment. Just remember NORMAL couple. Please."

Sirius smirked up at him "Whatever you say baby." Giving a wink.

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius then caught a glimpse of the very sad looking Lily. He reached over putting his arm gingerly around her shoulders pulling her close to his other side "We will get through all this shit together. The three of us." Lily looked up and gave a small smile. "Oh I forgot Lily, I owe you a story and I think I have enough time to tell it before we reach the castle. It's quite funny. Want to hear it?" Remus questioned with the hope he could make her laugh.

"Sure." she said quietly.

"Ok, so this is what happened the night we had your fake wedding…." Remus told her the story of that night as they made their way to the castle "and seeing Sirius in his dog form licking his frozen balls is why I could contain myself whenever someone said 'balls'." He finished as they reached the steps into the castle.

Lily was doubled over as they stopped just short of the steps. "Oh, I would have paid good money to see that!" She said giggling.

They noticed where they were and all of them had second thoughts on going in. They all wanted to go back to Snape's house.

Lily looked at the doors, then grabbed Remus's hand then looked to Sirius "Hell or high water, we do this together. Let's go." Sirius grabbed Remus's other hand and they walked into the castle like they owned it, hand in hand all the way into the Gryffindor common room.


	36. Chapter 36

The trio entered the common room to be greeted by several strange looks. It wasn't uncommon for them to be up to mischief but the hand holding between the guys was the cause of several smirks and raised eyebrows.

Sirius smirked at all of them, Remus was growing redder by the second and Lily simply smiled an innocent smile as they walked over and sat on the couch close to the fireplace.

James was sitting in a chair with Samantha in his lap. "Hey guys, where have you been? I didn't see any of you on the train." James asked.

"We had special circumstances so we left and returned by apparition." Sirius said nonchalantly.

"Oh ok… So how was your Christmas break then?" James asked a little confused.

"It was rather…..enlightening. It was a great week actually." Sirius answered trying to maintain a straight face. Lily put her head down trying to hide her snickering and Remus was sitting stiff as a board.

"That's great. I'm glad things went well. You all look very…" James couldn't find the right word.

"Happy yet sad. Yes that about sums it up. We are very happy but very sad we had to come back. We're all ready to be outta here." Sirius finished his sentence for him.

"I suppose we all are." James said as he looked to Samantha and smiled "We're getting married in the fall. I need to talk to you guys alone if you don't mind."

"Well that's wonderful because we need to talk to you as well! Let's go now." Sirius said just a little too excited. James looked confused but nodded, asked Samantha to let him up and started to walk upstairs. Sirius stood still holding on to Remus, Remus huffed then stood too letting go of Lily's hand. Sirius looked back to the couch as they rounded it "Lily….You coming?"

"I thought it was a guy conversation." Lily replied confused.

"Damn Lily, you are one of the guys! Get your ass up here." Sirius said as a fact.

Lily arched her eyebrows then looked to Samantha who looked a little "green with envy" then hurried to the guys grabbing Remus's hand again. The four of them walked into the room the boys shared. Sirius locked the door, flicked his wand and the large dresser moved in front of the door, then he cast a silencing charm "Now, we can talk!"

"Was all that necessary?" James asked wide-eyed.

"Probably" Sirius chuckled.

Remus tightened his hand around Lily's sending a silent message of fear. Lily squeezed back and placed her other hand on his arm looking up at him mouthing 'together'. Remus gave a small smile and a nod.

"We should probably talk to you first, our news is bigger." Sirius said with a smirk.

"Guys what in the hell is going on? When we left you two were dating and now, well…. You look like a damn three some!" James spat.

Sirius laughed and looked to Remus and Lily "A three some? Actually no. We did have a fourth but they're out of school now so we had to come back without them. I'm telling you we had a hell of a week. It was crazy, amazing and eye opening. Best week ever! Right guys?"

"It was amazing." Remus said in a small voice.

Lily laughed at Sirius's prodding and excitement and decided to play along "Best fucking week ever!"

"Told ya!" Sirius gloated.

James looked confused and a bit pissed "What in the hell changed everything between you three in a week. A fourth? Like that kind of fourth?" James asked in a disgusted tone.

Sirius looked to Lily and winked "Yeah something like that. It was great! Merlin we drank so much, we did shit that's unspeakable!" Sirius sounding dramatic trying to piss of James, so that the real news of his two best friends coming out to him would be less of a shock.

"Look I know we've grown apart and that's my fault but whatever you all are doing is none of my business. I don't care to hear about the perversion that went on last week. Just forget I said anything. I need to get back to Samantha. I don't understand how my friends of six years could turn to such a life style. I guess I never really knew any of you or maybe it's my fault for bringing you into our circle." James said in anger pointing at Lily. "I knew you were a mistake, the moment you started causing problems, we never fought until you came along, tainted by the hands of a disgusting death eater. They weren't like this until you came around. Damn death eater must have rubbed off on you, then you taught them your sick ways." James spat at Lily.

Sirius started for James but Remus beat him, he grabbed him by the throat and pushed him into the wall behind them "How fucking dare you! She didn't have a damn thing to do with our choices you arrogant piece of shit! Fucking apologize to her right now! Apologize for blaming her and mentioning Snape!" Remus growled.

James was paralyzed by fear and shock. He looked at Remus like he was betraying him but didn't dare voice that thought at the moment, "I'm…..I'm….sorry Lily." James stammered.

"Fuck off James, I never liked your ass either. I should have let Severus kill your ass a long time ago." Lily bit back not willing to be forgiving.

"Now you smug prick, Sirius was just fucking with you, he tends to do that a lot, you should know that by now. I'm done fucking with your head, so I'm going to give you the cold hard truth of the matter. Sirius and Lily realized that they didn't feel right together and he figured out who he's supposed to be with. That person happens to be me, and fuck you if you don't like it. If you can't accept us as we are then you never were our friend anyways. Lily has nothing to do with this, she was all we had left when your sorry ass dumped us for a piece of ass! She has been there and done more for both of us than you can fathom. Yes, she took your place and if you ever speak to her or about her or Snape like that again I will beat your ass!" Remus barked releasing the grip on James's throat . Remus stood daring James to say a word.

"So you're fucking gay then? You and Sirius are fucking? Wow! Really? My two oldest friends are engaging in such filth? I suppose the princess there…." James couldn't get out another word before Remus hit him so hard he broke his jaw.

Remus towered over his ex-friend who was bleeding all over the floor "Yes, we are fucking and I promise you we will fuck on your bed before we leave here. Probably everyday, have fun changing sheets every night prick."

Lily leaned over to whisper to Sirius "What the hell! Have you ever seen him like this?"

Sirius shook his head "Nope, but it's hot as hell to be honest."

Lily pulled her wand out of her back pocket and with a flick James stopped bleeding but she refused to mend his jaw. "Remus love come here, let me look at your hand." She quickly fixed the broken finger and dislocated joint. Still looking down at Remus's hand she very quietly said "Thank you for defending Severus."

Remus took the index finger of his good hand, placed it under her chin and made her look at him whispering, "He's my friend. He accepted me and us being together in less than a week. That bastard over there has been my so-called friend for six years and you see how he acted. I didn't do that for you. I was defending a true friend."

Lily couldn't have smiled any wider if she wanted to, she hugged Remus, "I love you."

"I love you as well sweetheart. I will always defend you both." Remus whispered.

Sirius walked over to the very defeated James "Dude, this wasn't supposed to go like this. You have called us your best friends for six years and because we want to be together as a couple you think you can insult all of us? No man, friendship doesn't work like that. I could have understood shock and disbelief but you just proved a very valid point I tried to make to Remus before we ever returned. Had you been a real friend you would have just been happy for us. Looks like all that pureblood rubbed off on you. Not a whole lot of difference between you and a death eater. Actually you're worse, you look at us as filth because of who we love, at least a death eater has a fucked up yet kinda valid reason. They just want magical blood to stay pure. You look at us like they do muggle borns, only you're judging love not blood. You have no valid reason. You are the filth in this room, not us."

The Trio looked at James in disgust, Sirius flicked his wand replacing the dresser to it's proper place, unlocked the door and started to walk out but Lily had other plans grabbing his hand stopping him. "James, Snape may be a death eater but he's a better person than you will ever be. Did you know he had been in death eater in training since 4th year? Did you know he could have killed you a thousand times if he wanted to? Did you realize all those times you tormented the hell out of him that you were fucking with someone who could end you without using an Unforgivable. He's actually really fucking smart, and you….you could never come close to taking his place, you are stupid, you are arrogant, you are a bully, a judgmental prick and I've heard you have a little dick and suck in the sack. Snape was amazing by the way, I really do miss the sex, death eater or not he knows how to make a girl climb the walls. I'm a bit envious of whomever he ends up with. Just thought you should know all that. You know, that you're less than a death eater, less than a werewolf, and less than gay people. You really are just shit…. Really you are. Maybe I should warn Samantha, she seems like a nice girl." Lily then sent a body bind at James and stalked off.

"Damn I know I hit him but that shit was cold. Amazing but cold!" Remus whispered to Sirius.

"No shit! Let's never piss her off!" Sirius whispered back as they went back to the couch to have a nice talk with Samantha.

Lily plopped down at the end of the couch closest to the chair Samantha was sitting in "Hey, I know we haven't spoken in some time but I thought we should catch up. How are things with you and James?" Lily said sweetly.

Remus and Sirius had just seen her wrath and knew she was pissed so they sat silent. They were not about to interfere with anything the fiery red head was plotting.

Samantha was a little taken aback by Lily's sudden interaction. They had only exchanged a handful of words since 3rd year "Things are good. We had a nice break. How are you?"

"Oh I'm wonderful. We need to have a little chat. I need to inform you of a few things." Lily was twirling her wand between her fingers so it went unnoticed when she sent the flick at Samantha nonverbally casting Langlock. Lily smiled and winked at Samantha "I did that. I do not wish to be interrupted. Now, your cocky, arrogant, judgmental boyfriend is upstairs with a broken jaw, more than likely. Would you care to know why? Of course you would! See these two, James called them his best friends for six years….six years of trouble making, defending each other, taking care of each other, breaking laws to protect each other, shoulders to cry on, hell Sirius here, lived with James after his parents disowned him. That cocky son of a bitch upstairs just threw all that away because they came out to him. He threw away two people I would kill for because they are gay! Then to put the icing on the cake he tried to blame me and my ex-boyfriend for them being gay. Well let inform you that they have had a secret crush on each other for years! YEARS! The whole time that prick upstairs was their 'friend' they were secretly lusting after each other. Now, you have two options. You can marry the prick as he is and be as stupid as he is, or you can try to talk some sense into the stupid bastard and bring his narrow mind into this century. The choice is yours." Lily stood to leave but before she did she walked over to Samantha leaned down close to her ear and whispered "My Ex is a death eater, he taught me all kinds of very useful spells you will never find in a book. Don't piss me off or disappoint me." Lily leaned back up a gave a sweet innocent smile. "Have a wonderful day! Oh he's under a body bind as well. See ya around." Lily started to leave the common room turning around seeing Sirius and Remus still sitting "Sirius….Remus…. You coming?"

They both scurried to their feet "Yep right behind you!" they chimed. Lily flicked her wand at Samantha releasing the Langlock with a wink, "Come on I'm starving and I can't stand this room anymore." Lily said as though nothing had happened.

"Yes, let's go to the kitchen. I have two elves I'm looking for anyways." The three grabbed hands and took off for the kitchen.

While Samantha sat shocked and a little scared, she managed to pull herself together enough to go help James to the hospital wing. Telling him what Lily had done and said on the trip there.


	37. Chapter 37

Sirius tickled the pear to get them into the kitchen; they were met by a polite yet formal elf. "Hey there, can you help me?" Sirius asked.

"Yes sir, it is Trixie's job to help students, what can Trixie so for you sir?" the elf replied.

"Can you tell me if Idgie and Jinco are here?" Sirius whispered.

"Yes, sir they are here. Do you wish to see them?" Trixie answered.

"If you don't mind going to fetch them both for me." Sirius requested. "Yes Sir." And Trixie left returning with the two requested elves that looked terrified. The poor things looked like they thought they had done something wrong.

Lily's heart broke for them thinking of Shelby she quickly knelt down eye level with them looking up politely at Trixie and asking her to go "Hey guys, I'm Lily. Are you two alright?"

The little elves looked at each other shocked, they were rarely spoken to and when they were it was orders being barked at them. "Yes Miss, we are fine. What can we do for you?"

Lily smiled at them "My friend here wishes to speak with you, do you mind talking to him?"

"We shall do as the Mister wishes." The male elf answered.

Sirius scanned the room making sure they were alone with the two elves "Can you do me a favor first. We missed dinner, would you mind getting us something to eat really quick and grab five butter beers too, Please." "Yes Sir." And the pair left. "Look I don't have a lot of time but that's Shelby's brother and sister. They want Masters they don't like it here. Mrs. Prince and I are going to try to get them out of here but I want to make sure they really want to leave first. I don't want another bitter asshole elf." Sirius telling Lily and Remus what he was up to.

"How do you know that?" Lily questioned.

"Shelby told me while you and …..while you were busy!" Sirius trying to fix his mistake of almost letting Snape's name slip. Lily just nodded; she couldn't say anything else as the pair returned with everything asked of them. They sat at a small table in a small room just off the kitchen. The two elves were trying to set the table for them as if they were dining in the main hall.

Lily put her hand on top of the female elf's hand shaking her head no "You don't need to do all of that. We can take care of it from here. Thank you."

Sirius chuckled as the elves looked disappointed and confused "You two come sit down with us. I wish to talk to you. I happen to know your sister."

"Sir it is not proper for elves to sit among Wizards and Witches." The male elf answered.

Sirius arched an eyebrow "But I asked you to."

The elves looked at each other not knowing what to do, they knew it wasn't proper yet neither was defying an order. The male elf spoke "If the Mister wishes us to sit at the table we shall, we don't find it proper but we shall obey."

Sirius winked at Lily. Lily gave him a look of 'stop testing them'. "Alright then, I don't wish to make you uncomfortable, I want you to talk freely to me. What are your names and what is your sister's name?" Sirius asked.

The male elf took the lead again "My name is Jinco and this is my sister Idgie. We have another sister named Shelby, Shelby has a master though. A very good one."

The trio smiled at each other, Sirius knew he had the right elves and they had come from a wealthy home, they knew proper elf manners, things unowned elves wouldn't know "Do you like it here?" He asked.

The elves bowed their heads, knowing they didn't like living there but knew it was ungrateful to talk bad of their home even if it didn't include a proper Master or Madame "We are grateful to have a home Sir."

Sirius shook his head "That's not what I asked, let me ask this a different way. If you could stay here or have a proper Master which would you chose?"

Without hesitation both blurted out "Master" forgetting their manners.

Sirius nodded his head "That's what I thought. So you would happily go to a new Master or Madame if you were offered a home?" "Yes Sir." They both chimed. "I make no promises, but you MIGHT get that opportunity soon. Remember this is not a for sure thing but I may know someone who is looking for elves and you two came at Shelby's recommendation and we love Shelby and trust that you two are a lot like her."

Idgie finally spoke "We used to be, before we lost our Master, we once had a good Master like Shelby does. Our Master passed away with no one left to take us, so we came here so we would have a home. We wish to serve a Master."

Sirius patted her head "Sweetheart I'll see what I can do about finding you one. In the mean time I order you two to take these and go hide somewhere and drink them! No arguing! I'm sure you deserve it." Handing them the two extra bottles of butter beer he had asked for. The elves looked at each other unsure what to do. "Go on. Go have a well deserved break." Sirius said with a wink.

The elves started to walk away then Idgie turned around, "Sir, Idgie thinks you are a very kind Wizard and you would make a great Master."

"Thank you Idgie. Off you go." Sirius said smiling at her.

Lily snickered "Trying to find your own Shelby then Master Black?"

"What….. I love that damn elf and she told me she had siblings here…..did you not see how pitiful she looked! Besides, I'm sure they work their asses off here. They deserve a drink." Sirius ranted defending himself while Lily and Remus laughed at him.

"Finish your damn food so we can get out of here." Lily ordered.

The trio hadn't gotten themselves seated well when a fuming McGonagall burst through the portrait door yelling all three of their names.

"Oh shit, he snitched." They rang in unison before standing to march to their very pissed off Headmistress. They followed McGonagall trying to hide snickers and smiles. Neither of them gave a damn if they were expelled or not; truth be told they were almost hoping they would be. McGonagall lead them all the way to Dumbledore's office not saying a word until she barked the password "Taffy".

"This is going to be interesting" Lily whispered.

"Maybe they'll kick us out." Sirius whispered back.

Remus rolled his eyes "You both know that's not going to happen."

They entered Dumbledore's office the boys let the two women take the chairs while they stood between them. Dumbledore appeared to be reading a file and hadn't acknowledged them yet.

McGonagall already being livid refused to be ignored "Albus!"

Dumbledore hid behind the file trying to hide his snickering, he was listening to all four of their thoughts while hiding behind that file and already knew everything that had been said and done. He found it funny and well deserved but had to maintain his Headmaster duties, he coughed to help contain himself, placed the file on the desk looking as stoic as ever "Yes Minerva, what can I help you with."

"These three buffoons! They sent James Potter to the hospital wing and Lily hexed Samantha Clearwater with something unknown to me! I am leaving this matter in your hands."

Sirius fake coughed the word 'snitch'.

McGonagall heard it and was shooting daggers at him "That's quite enough Mr. Black!".

Dumbledore looked down pretending to situate his robes to hide the smile playing on his lips.

"Albus, you have nothing to say about this?" McGonagall barked.

"Yes, Minerva I have quite a bit to say about this matter actually. Remus how is your hand?"

Remus smiled "Good as new, Lily mended it very well."

Dumbledore looked at Lily narrowing his eyes "Miss Evans, you knew better."

Lily pretended to be sorrowful "Yes sir, I did it was rather impulsive, Samantha had nothing to do with it."

Dumbledore looked to Sirius "Mr. Black, I can't believe you stand innocent in all this. This is a first. Congratulations."

"Albus Dumbledore! James Potter had a broken jaw!" McGonagall shrieked.

"Yes, I am aware Minerva. Did you happen to ask him why one of his oldest friends would strike him in such a manner? You act as if Mr. Potter was attacked unprovoked." Dumbledore leaned back in his chair folding his arms across his chest, "I do remember you sitting in that very chair on several occasions defending Mr. Potter's actions toward a certain Slytherin student who is no longer with us, that were far worse than a broken jaw."

McGonagall was livid and speechless, she couldn't deny the words spoken to her because they were true, she stood in defeat "Very well, I will leave this matter solely in your hands then. I shall go talk to Mr. Potter."

"Sit down Minerva. You will hear the truth, from the three who were there. I already know what happened. I don't miss much around here. I believe you need to here this. I will not allow a mistruth to be told." Dumbledore ordered. McGonagall drew a deep breath and sat back into her chair. "Now, please explain the events as they happened to Professor McGonagall."

The three recounted the events that lead up to James's broken jaw and Lily's threat. Lily had no choice but to tell McGonagall about the Langlock she used and admitted Severus had taught it to her but conveniently left out when.

"Mr. Potter doesn't seem so innocent now does he?" Dumbledore asked the slack jawed Minerva.

McGonagall cleared her throat "It appears as if he did get what was deserved but we can not condone violence Albus."

"No we can not, we also cannot condone bigotry either." Dumbledore looked at the three students he knew didn't have an ounce of remorse between them "I'm certain this was a one time event, and that has this matter settled." "Yes sir." The three chimed. "Very well, as punishment you three will move into a separate dorm room from the rest of your classmates. We cannot have such behavior being a problem. Minerva I leave it to you to make whatever changes are needed to give them a room together."

"Albus! Are you seriously going to place a girl with two boys?" McGonagall asked baffled.

Dumbledore rolled his eyes "Minerva dear, did you miss the part were the boys are gay? I think Miss Evans will be safe with them but should you wish you can conjure her some walls and a door."

"Very well, you are the Headmaster, who am I to question your infinite wisdom." Minerva bit as she stood to leave.

The trio sat silent until they heard the door slam then burst into laughter. After a good laugh and a long talk with Dumbledore the trio were making their way back to the common room holding hands and talking.

"This is going to be a long week." Remus groaned knowing the secret was no longer secret, James had probably told anyone who stood still long enough.

Lily leaned into Remus's side "Love you have us, and I got you both a pass to go with me Friday!"

"Yeah that's awesome. Thanks for thinking about taking us Lils." Sirius said excitedly.

"He would want you there, it's his birthday! After what happened today I wouldn't leave you guys out. Next time I'm going alone though." Lily laughed.

"We'll have to sneak to Hogsmeade sometime this week to buy him something though." Remus reminding Sirius.

"Oh, like we haven't done that a million times." Sirius said sarcastically.

"I don't have the map. Do you?" Remus questioned already knowing the answer.

"Shit!" Sirius moaned.

"Exactly!" Remus gloated.

"Guys…. I have Shelby and Eileen. We don't have to worry about leaving grounds." Lily stated in a bored tone, not believing her friends could be so dense.

"Yes you do! This makes things so much easier." Sirius said putting his arm around her shoulder.

"You guys can be so thick sometimes, you really think a private dorm for us three is a punishment?! Morons, he did it to give you two privacy and me a way to call Shelby without being seen!" Lily said sarcastically shaking her head walking up to the fat lady giving the password and grabbing a hold of both of her friends pulling them through. She stopped in the middle of the common room that was packed with almost every Gryffindor student "Does anyone have anything you need to say to either of us? We will not live in this tower with whispers and snide remarks. If you have something to say or ask I suggest you do it now!" Lily nearly yelled.

The room fell silent, most of them had heard what happened in various versions but all of them painted the trio as badasses. "Nothing? Nobody has anything they want to say? This is your chance." Lily said defiant.

Suddenly a beautiful blonde stood and walked over to Lily, standing toe to toe with her, Lily arched an eyebrow and waited; the blonde cleared her throat "I talked to McGonagall, she told me what James said. He deserved it, I don't blame you Remus and if I had friends like you are…. well…. I would hope we all would act as you three have today. I just wanted you to know that I broke our engagement until he genuinely sees the error in his thinking and properly apologizes. I refuse to marry a bigot. Lily, I wish we had remained friends, I have never known friendship like you have. I am a bit jealous and just so you know I did this on my own, even though your threat did scare the shit out of me. Congratulations on finding love, I think you are adorable together. That's all I wanted to say."

Lily had visibly softened toward the girl she had hexed and threatened only hours before "Thank you Samantha, I was rather harsh toward you earlier. I was livid and I thought you should know what an ass he can be."

Samantha smiled "I appreciate the heads up, maybe next time don't hex me though?"

Lily giggled "Sorry about that, my best friend is a Slytherin."

Samantha stuck out her hand looking to Lily; Lily shook her hand and in unison said "Truce."

That truce seemed to change the tone of most of the room, there were still a few holding disgusted looks on their faces but most of the room looked a lot friendlier at them now. Sirius and Remus were Congratulated and praised for their bravery for coming out more times than they could remember. When the mass of people thinned out around them Sirius looked to Remus "I told you it wouldn't be that bad."

Remus gave him a smug look "Oh, shut up. Damn prat."

"I'm your prat though." Sirius smiled.

Lily and Samantha broke their conversation, looked at the pair and together said "For the love of Merlin, just kiss him already!" letting out a giggle.

Somewhere in that day Remus had found some courage, maybe it was defending those he loved, maybe it was watching Lily defend those she loved, or maybe it was the acceptance of the majority of the house, he didn't care where it came from; he just used it and pulled Sirius into a heated kiss in front of the entire house, not giving a single damn about who seen it or cared.


	38. Chapter 38

For the Trio the week was a lot calmer than expected, there had been a few words exchanged with other students about Remus and Sirius coming out but nothing bad enough to get them sent back to Dumbledore. Sirius was doing quite well respecting Remus's request to act as a normal couple, much to Lily and Remus's surprise. Remus rewarded his good behavior on Thursday morning with an owl dropping a red rose on plate that morning at breakfast and didn't complain or even turn red when Sirius kissed him in front of the entire great hall.

Professor McGonagall had done some redecorating of their new dorm; Lily had private quarters within it. She wouldn't allow Lily to share quarters with boys, gay or not without a proper room of her own.

Shelby had came and reported of Severus's state which was a little depressed but nothing Shelby felt required Lily to come home. Shelby made it a job of her own making to come to Lily every evening at 9 p.m. to see if her Madame needed or wanted anything.

They sent Eileen an owl to inform her that all three of them would be returning home on Friday night and planned a surprise birthday party Saturday for Severus, requesting she come to a "family dinner" on Friday night (Thinking that would pacify her into staying away from Saturday's party so they wouldn't be forced to drink wine.) and requested that she pick up two very unique gifts from Sirius and Remus.

Samantha held true to her word, she refused to speak to James until he came to his senses; as of Friday morning they still weren't speaking. She also had made an effort to strike up a friendship with Lily. Lily enjoyed the female companionship especially with Sirius and Remus being 'busy' often.

By Friday they were counting the minutes until they were allowed to leave the grounds for Hogsmeade and apparate home; which simply wasn't going by quickly enough. Every class seemed to drag on for an eternity, especially the last one.

Severus's week was lonely but fairly busy. He hated going to bed and waking up alone and Lily's absence had been almost unbearable. He had been called by the Dark Lord to brew potions of various reasons that Severus knew would be used in a manner they weren't meant for. He was fairly happy about this, it kept his mind busy and it was a far better task than some of the other things he could have been sent to do.

On Wednesday he had done what had been asked of him and at noon landed at the front gates of Malfoy Manor. Narcissa must have been watching for him because she greeted him at the door instead of the usual Dobby. "Hello Narcissa." Severus said with a smirk.

"Thank Merlin you came. I was worried you wouldn't make it. Please come in." Narcissa said in panicked yet relieved tone. Severus entered the Manor scanning the room to see if they were alone, he found no sign of other Death Eaters. "Please come with me." Narcissa almost begged.

Severus nodded and held his hand out as to say 'lead the way'. He followed the very flustered woman through the many halls until they reached a room that looked much like an office, sitting in the chair behind the desk was Lucius. Severus turned to Narcissa and arched an eyebrow in question. Narcissa gave a nervous smile and asked him to sit. "Lucius." Severus said coolly.

"Hello Snape. Good to see you made it. How are you?" Lucius asked.

"I'm well, thanks for asking, but we can cut the shit. Why am I here? I have never been in this part of the manor and Narcissa just cast a silencing charm on this room. What's going on?" Snape questioned in a tone of 'I told you so.' already knowing why he was there.

Narcissa sat in the chair next to Snape fidgeting and Lucius drew a deep breath. "We are concerned about Narcissa's safety. We thought maybe you could help. Seeing as once you were in a similar situation." Lucius finally answered.

"Why would you ever be concerned about Narcissa's safety? It's not as if you were failed to be informed of the dangers of marrying her before you did it. Not to mention the advice I was given was "make her hate you" I don't think that will work in this case. Furthermore, what could I possibly do to help even if she were in danger? I am just like you, a loyal and faithful servant to the Dark Lord." Severus said with sarcasm dripping off every word.

"Severus…..please…. I don't want to take the mark and I do not wish to be used as some wives are. Please, I know you warned me and I didn't listen but please if you can think of anything I will do it without question. I do not wish to end up like Bellatrix. Severus, that is not who I am. I cannot kill and torture people because they aren't of pureblood." Narcissa begged almost in tears.

'Damn crying women.' Severus thought as he felt his bitterness toward them fade away. "I really don't know what you two think I can do, yes the Dark Lord trusts me but I have no control over his choices. Lucius, you know this as well as anyone, once he decided he wants something or someone there is no stopping him. What exactly is it you want me to do?" Severus asked exasperated.

"I know this Snape. I should have done with Narcissa as I told you to do with your problem but I'm more of a selfish bastard than you are. I can't have her branded and he will not touch her. We have tried to come up with solutions but nothing we have came up with would work. We thought you may have a suggestion." Lucius said frustrated.

Severus sank back into the chair thinking, he understood Lucius's problem far more than anyone else would. If anyone were to find out he were married he would be in a far worse position than the two purebloods begging for his help. 'But can he be trusted?' Severus questioned in his mind.

"Snape, I meant what I told you long ago. I regret this, I can't get out now but I can save her. Please help us come up with something. We will do whatever it takes and money isn't an issue. I will do anything or pay any amount to ensure her safety." Lucius pleaded.

"You'll do ANYTHING?" Severus questioned.

"I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe and out of his hands. She will go and do anything asked of her until such time she is safe and I will put my very life on the line to ensure she remains safe if that is the cost." Lucius said as if swearing an oath.

"I may have an idea but I make no promises. I will have to speak to a few people before I can confirm anything. Before I go to the trouble, you do realize what ANYTHING means, correct?" Severus said flatly.

"Yes, Snape. I will do ANYTHING to keep her safe. I don't care what it is. If I thought I could run I would, but being branded we both know that is impossible. I, like you am stuck in a huge problem until such time this brand is no longer an issue." Lucius making an obvious hint that he wanted to Dark Lord to fall.

"I shall talk with a few people as soon as I can. This will not be my decision and it will not be easy on you. I hope you meant what you said." Severus said as he stood. Lucius stood and looked Severus dead in the eyes knowing Snape could read his every thought and memory. Severus took advantage of this opportunity, he wouldn't dare risk his love's safety for another's without a guarantee of loyalty to switching sides. Severus peered into Lucius's mind picking through memories and conversations, much to his dismay he couldn't find anything suggesting Lucius wasn't serious when he said anything. Those two had worked for months trying to get her out of this mess and Lucius hated the Death Eater meetings and tasks as much as he did. When Severus was satisfied he could trust Lucius he nodded "I'll see what I can do."

Narcissa ran to him and hugged him whispering "Thank you, I promise I will do anything. Please help us." Tears streaking down her face.

Severus looked to Lucius and gave a disappointed frown, then patted Narcissa's head "I cannot promise anything, but I will try."

Lucius stood silent knowing he had made a huge mistake in marrying Narcissa and bringing her into this world. She didn't belong here and Snape had given them both a warning before their wedding but they were so wrapped up in each other they didn't care at that moment. It didn't take them long to realize Snape's warning should have been heeded.

Narcissa let go of him and wiped her face, then looked to him and smiled "Thank you, I'll walk you to the door."

Severus followed Narcissa to the front door of the Manor "I knew why you were calling me here. This is a short-term fix, the green one makes you violently ill, the blue cures it. Do what you will with them." Severus then handed Narcissa two green vials and two blue vials.

Narcissa quickly took them, shoved them into her pocket and teared up "Thank you."

Severus gave her a small smile, leaned in to kiss her cheek and whispered, "You had best listen to me this time. I will not help you like this again, if I can get you out of this you better do exactly as you are told without question." As Severus pulled back Narcissa was shaking her head 'yes' "I promise." "Take care Narcissa." Severus said over his shoulder as he walked toward the gates to apparate home.

On Friday afternoon after Severus returned from delivering the requested potions to the Dark Lord and was almost certain he would not be called to a task over the weekend, he sent Shelby to Dumbledore to inform him that he felt Lily would be safe in coming home and that they needed to talk as quickly as possible. Dumbledore mistook the urgency of the message and apparated to the guest house with Shelby.

"Well I didn't mean at this very moment but nice to see you either way." Severus chuckled.

"Shelby said you needed to speak with me as soon as possible and I was rather bored. Your wife and her friends have been far too behaved as of late." Dumbledore smirked.

"My wife, has been well behaved? What have you done to her? I must know of your great secret!" Severus questioned in a mock tone.

"Well, there was the incident where she Langlocked Miss Clearwater and threatened her with more interesting hexes she has learned from her 'Death Eater ex-boyfriend'." Dumbledore said with an arched brow.

"She did not?!" Severus said wide eyed and shocked.

"Ah yes, as well as body binding James Potter after Remus Lupin broke his jaw. I thought a fitting punishment was separate quarters from the rest of their housemates. We can not tolerate such behavior, so I contained it." Dumbledore said with a wink.

"What in the bloody hell happened?" Severus asked in disbelief.

"Mr. Potter had some unkind words for Sirius and Remus when they told him of their relationship and Lily didn't wish to be interrupted while she spoke with Miss Clearwater about her boyfriend's bigotry." Dumbledore said nonchalantly.

"Insufferable witch is trying to get expelled and those two are helping her!" Severus barked.

Dumbledore chuckled "Yes, all three of them were hoping for expulsion, oddly enough all of them look at this place as home." Dumbledore said with a genuine smile waving his hands around the house. "Don't worry they would have to do much worse before I would expel either of them." Severus was visibly livid. "Calm down my boy, they have settled in nicely. All is well. Now, what did you wish to speak with me about?" Dumbledore questioned trying to calm down Severus.

"Yes, that. I may know someone else who wishes to deflect. He believes his wife is a target of the Dark Lord for branding or being made use of for his personal 'needs' and said he was willing to do anything to keep her safe. She is truly terrified and I think he is as well. I did question his intentions so, I looked into his mind, I found no deception in his thoughts of wanting out and he is sincere in his love for her and keeping her safe. I will leave it to you to decide if he is trustworthy or not. They called upon me for ideas of how to keep her from being branded and 'used' because they know of mine and Lily's early relationship." Severus said in an unsure tone.

"Who would we talking of?" Dumbledore asked but fairly certain he already knew whom they were speaking of.

Severus cleared his throat "Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy."

Dumbledore sighed and rubbed his forehead "Do you think he can be trusted?"

"Sir, I cannot speak with 100% certainty. I can only vouch for him in the manner of what I saw in his mind and he did tell me a couple of years ago he wished he had never joined. This is not the first time he has mentioned regretting his choice." Severus said without doubt.

"I trust he knows nothing of your activities." Dumbledore asked with an arched eyebrow.

Severus shook his head "No, he knows nothing of what I am doing. I simply told him I had an idea and I would have to talk to a few people. He knows nothing of Lily and I since he instructed me to make her hate me after we found out about Eros."

"Sounds if he should have followed his own advice." Dumbledore said with a frown.

"Yes, I did warn them both before their wedding but neither would listen. I have informed Lucius this would not be easy and I told Narcissa she would do any and everything asked of her without question." Severus agreeing.

"If he is truly willing to deflect I will require him to undergo questioning under Veritaserum initially and at any random time I choose. If I find his intentions under Veritaserum and Legilimency honorable, I shall see what I can do about Narcissa. I shall contact him myself, I would rather he not know of your involvement just yet." Dumbledore stated flatly.

"I agree with the Veritaserum, I have never seen anyone who could lie under it. Why was I not given it?" Severus asking shocked he was not asked to do the same thing.

"Severus, I know you far better than I ever did Lucius and Lucius has been under his control longer. Trust in me, I will handle this without raising any eyebrows. Should Narcissa go missing you will know she is safe. Act as if you know nothing, Monday return and tell Lucius and Narcissa there was nothing you could do for them." Dumbledore instructed.

"Yes Sir." Severus said not questioning him.

"Let's have a drink before I depart." Dumbledore said with a smirk.

"Brandy, I assume." Severus asked knowing the answer.

"Of course! You always have the best and it never seems to run out." Dumbledore smiled.

Severus and Dumbledore shared a drink and talked of the trio's return for a short while; mainly focusing on how much Lily had changed in such a short time. "Thank you once again Severus, I must be going. I'm almost positive there is a very impatient red head waiting in my office for permission to leave grounds." Dumbledore stood and winked before disapparating.

Severus chuckled musing to himself "Insufferable witch is in so much trouble when she gets here!"


	39. Chapter 39

Dumbledore was very correct in his assumption, the trio were pacing his office as he entered "Good afternoon, how can I help you three?" he asked with a smirk. Lily put her hand on her hip and cocked her head to one side arching an eyebrow. Dumbledore chuckled "Oh, yes. You are wishing to go tend to your sick aunt and you need Sirius and Remus to come along to help get her home in order."

"Yes sir, if you don't mind giving us what we need to give our headmistress so we could be on our way." Lily said impatiently.

"Very well then." Dumbledore picked up a piece of parchment that was their pass to leave the grounds without getting into trouble and started to hand it to Lily, just before she could grab it he pulled it back. Smiling yet in a serious tone "Behave while you are away. Should you find yourself in trouble get back here immediately. Defy this and there will be no more trips to visit your 'sick aunt'. Understood?"

They all chimed "Understood."

Dumbledore gave Lily the parchment and she darted for the door "Lily!" Dumbledore called after her.

Lily halted just before the door with shagging shoulders "Yes sir?"

"Do tell your aunt Happy Birthday for me and make sure all of you are here and sober before dinner Sunday!" Dumbledore said with a smile playing on his lips.

Lily smiled at him and darted out the door for McGonagall with the guys right behind her. They found their Headmistress and gave her their permission slip to leave. Minerva looked at it long and hard with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. "I've seen this man's signature for years. I know this is his, therefore you are allowed to go. I assume you have been told when to return?"

"Yes ma'am we have strict orders." Lily confirmed.

"Do be careful and send my regards to your sick aunt." McGonagall giving in and releasing them. They had hidden their things close to the front doors and ran all the way to Hogsmeade not being able to wait one more second to get home.

Remus and Sirius had to side apparate with Lily because she was the only one who could get them in, they landed in the guest house sitting room. Severus nearly choked on the whiskey he had just taken a sip of at the sight of Remus and Sirius, after containing his coughing fit "Lily love, not that I so much mind but what are they doing here?"

Lily beamed at him, she knew his birthday hadn't been something that was ever made a big deal of as a child so as his wife she promised herself she would change that, "Love, Sunday is your birthday. We are having a party and these two wouldn't miss it for the world and it was come today or not at all."

Severus sighed at the thought of a party in his honor, it wasn't something he was very accustomed to "You really don't have to do that. It's really just another day love." Lily put on her best pout face, looking hurt. "Fine you insufferable witch. Do as you wish!" Severus giving in with an eye roll.

Lily smiled "Thank you darling!" she said as she made her way over to him sitting in his lap waving the boys away as she kissed him. After a lengthy 'I missed you' snog session, Lily smiled up at him "How was your week?"

Severus looked at her like she had lost her mind "It was sunshine and rainbows. Now let's talk about your week Madame Snape."

Lily tried looking as innocent as possible "It was ok, nothing too interesting to talk about."

Severus arched an eyebrow "I spoke with Dumbledore this afternoon love, let's try this again."

Lily was now wearing an 'Oh shit!' look "About that…." Severus and Lily finally told the truth about their week and how much they had missed each other and how wonderful it was being home.

"Speaking of home, I was informed that those two look at this as their home. I assume we have adopted them now, Sirius was living with Potter but I'm guessing that arrangement is now over and they won't be separated." Severus stated yet questioned Lily's thoughts on the matter.

Lily hadn't given it much thought but her husband did have a point "Well it's not like we don't have the room for them. When we leave school they can live here or with us. Whichever you think is best, but yeah, we have adopted them." She said with a laugh at the thought of adopting two grown men.

Severus shook his head "We shall see where they will stay once the time comes but if you agree when you all leave school they may live here."

"Severus Snape you are the best husband and friend anyone could ever have. I love you!" Lily said as she kissed him once again.

"Please don't tell people that, I have a reputation to maintain." Severus said with a smirk.

"I love you and I've missed you greatly but I need you to go take a long shower and find something to stay busy with for about 30 minutes please." Lily begged.

Severus narrowed his eyes "Only because I love you."

Lily smiled as she watched her husband walk to their room. She quickly called for Shelby and knocked on the guest room door without opening it letting Sirius and Remus know she needed their help. The four of them worked quickly to transform the house into a party decorated in green, silver and black. Sirius protested that it would be funnier to decorate in Hufflepuff colors but Lily threatened him with a jinx to freeze his balls if she seen anything but the three assigned colors and he quickly abandoned his idea. When they finished it was perfect, they simply had to wait on Eileen to get there.

Lily kept Severus 'occupied' while they waited on Eileen to arrive. He was not to ruin their surprise and it made for a wonderful early birthday present. They were laying in a beautifully sated bliss when Remus knocked on the door shouting through it that Eileen had arrived. Lily and Severus quickly got dressed, Lily insisted on blindfolding Severus before he was to leave the room.

"Witch, you better be glad I love you." Severus huffed as she tied the blindfold.

"Oh hush, you don't turn 18 everyday!" Lily bit back as she lead him into the sitting room that had been transformed into a party room. The room snickered at the uncharacteristic Snape giving in to the witches every whim. Lily mouthed 'Ready?' to the group and they all nodded. As soon as the blindfold fell the all yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Severus let a faint blush cross his cheeks, the shock that they had went to all the trouble baffled and amazed him. He finally had true friends. Finding words was proving difficult he merely managed "Thank you." After the hugs and hand shakes and some small talk the 'family dinner' started, they ate and drank disgusting wine and even sang the Happy Birthday song as Severus grudgingly blew out all 18 candles.

Lily stealthy made her way over to Eileen "Did you manage to find the things in the letter?" Lily asked quietly.

Eileen smiled "Every last one." She said with a wink.

When the food portion of the night was finished and everyone was well feed, Eileen took the center of the room. She looked at Severus holding back tears "My son, we have came a long way, you have faced more in 18 years than most do in a lifetime. You have amazed me and made me proud of how you have handled most of it. I could not be more proud of you and the man you have become. Happy Birthday Love."

Severus was a bit taken aback by his mother's words she rarely spoken so openly about her feelings. "Thank you mother. I am trying to…."

Eileen cut him off "I do not want to hear of that. This is your night and frankly I don't care to hear of your mistakes, you are human and we all make them. Your gift is you have learned from them. Now hush and enjoy your night!"

Severus chuckled "Yes mother."

Eileen called Sirius to her and handed him a package containing the gift he had asked her to purchase for him. He smiled and nodded as he took it, then turning to Snape "I have no long speech prepared, I just wish to thank you for your friendship and letting go of the past and accepting Remus and I as you have. We both owe you more than we can ever repay you. Thank you and Happy Birthday!" Sirius said handing Snape the package.

Severus carefully opened it not sure he could trust it wasn't a prank knowing Sirius as he did. He was a little confused to find a set of mirrors. He looked up to Sirius confused.

Sirius smiled and explained that they were 2-way mirrors "One is yours and the other is Lily's. If you wish to communicate with each other you simply call the others name. I thought it might help with the distance and loneliness I know you two are feeling."

"Wow! Thank you Sirius. Truly, this is amazing." Severus whispered in amazement that so much thought had been put into the gift from his former enemy.

"My turn!" Remus yelled. "There is nothing to say to you outside of thank you for everything." Remus said as he handed Snape his gift.

Severus opened a small box containing two galleons "Ummmm….." Severus said once again confused.

Remus chuckled "They are special. They are charmed to where you can change the numbers on them, when the numbers are changed the coins grow hot. One is yours and the other is Lily's, it will allow you to work out a code in numbers to send messages. For instance 01.04.03 could mean I love you or 02.04.04 is I'm safe love."

Severus again was astonished "Remus, this is amazing. Thank you."

"Your welcome." Remus beamed with pride in himself.

Lily gave a devious smirk "I'll have to give you my present later." Remus and Sirius burst out in laughter. Lily gave them a look that could kill "Not that you morons!" she barked.

Eileen chuckled "This gift comes from Dumbledore and myself. It took some work to get this done but I think you will love it. Sorry gentlemen but I need Lily and Severus to come with me for a few moments, we won't be gone long so don't get any ideas!" Eileen said giving them a warning look. Severus and Lily stood and each grabbed Eileen's arm not sure where they were going. With a crack they left the guest house and apparated to the Manor.

The gift in the foyer was a surprise but this one Severus knew exactly what it was "Mother!"

Eileen smiled "Dumbledore approved it. They have been tested many times in the last few weeks. They are trustworthy. We are killing two birds with one stone as the muggles say."

"I'm confused. What is special about a wardrobe?" Lily asked innocently.

Severus chuckled "Love this isn't a wardrobe. It is a vanishing cabinet, I would be willing to bet the Prince vault that there is one now in your quarters at Hogwarts. You step inside and it takes you to its mate." Severus informed her.

"Oh, so you can come visit me anytime you want now?" Lily asked full of excitement.

"To an extent love. Yes it will bring you here and take me there." Severus answered.

Eileen chimed in "It will also transport you here without leaving the safety of leaving Hogwarts grounds and should Severus ever find himself in trouble he can use it to get to the safety of the school as well."

"This is the best gift ever mother." Severus said a bit emotional as he hugged his mother.

"You're welcome dear. You can move it into the guest house after Remus and Sirius leave. Dumbledore doesn't want them to know of it. Lily you mustn't tell either and you both must be careful in using them!" Eileen warned.

"Yes ma'am" they both chimed.

They apparated back to the guest house, now that the party must do's were finished they were all dreading the disgusting wine the knew Eileen would suggest. Eileen couldn't read minds but she could read faces, she made her way over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of whiskey 'What the hell will it hurt.' She thought as she hid it behind her back walking back into the sitting room.

Eileen internally smirked knowing this would be fun to watch their faces "Would anyone care for a drink?" she asked sweetly. Immediately she saw four sneers.

Lily trying to gracious "Yes that would be lovely."

Eileen smirked as she handed her very gracious daughter-in-law the bottle of whiskey "Wonderful! I got the bottle you get the glasses." Lily was shocked but didn't dare argue. She made sure she served Eileen first. The five of them spent the night getting smashed, even Eileen.

Saturday was much of the same, breakfast, lunch, dinner, getting smashed then wild sex that required silencing charms on both rooms. Luckily Eileen decided to head back after lunch. Sunday morning hangover potions were handed out like candy.

"This was a hell of a weekend!" Severus said after his throbbing headache subsided.

"It's always a hell of a time here!" Sirius managed still rubbing his forehead.

"That it is!" Remus chimed in.

Lily remained silent, her headache still had not eased up.

Shelby had cleaned the house and set it back to normal while they slept. They spent much of the day relaxing, laughing and talking. The entire "Potter incident" as it was now being called was recounted verbatim.

Severus laughed so hard his sides hurt "He has always been an arrogant asshole! He deserved it!"

"That he did." Sirius said flatly.

Remus was the one to realize them time "Guys I don't want to do this but we have to be back in 30 minutes."

The cheerfulness in the room seemed as if it had been removed by a dementor. Severus cleared his throat "Well then, let's get you guys packed then."

"Guys do you really need the muggle clothes you brought with you? You both have tons, I guess I should have known you were gay due to your amount of clothing!" Lily laughed.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other confused but answered "No, not really. Why?"

"Then just leave the clothing. It'll make visits easier." Lily stated plainly.

Remus and Sirius looked at Snape waiting on his response. "Yeah, just leave them. The next time you come bring extra personal stuff and you can leave those too." Severus said nonchalantly.

"Ok…." Both guys said confused but accepting.

When they gathered everything they needed to take back with them Lily decided she needed to talk to them "Look, there is absolutely nothing you could do for me for my birthday short of killing Voldermort that could top the things you gave Severus which are partly for me as well. I want a promise you will not buy me a gift for my birthday. I will allow a party but not gifts! Promise?"

"But Lils." Sirius whined

Lily arched an eyebrow "Gifts from you two equal frozen balls! Try me!"

Severus laughed and Sirius and Remus decided no gifts for Lily was a great idea "We promise."

"Thank you!" Lily then turned to Severus hating this moment, but knew they had things now to make it easier. "I love you."

"I love you." Severus smiled sadly.

"See you soon." Lily winked.

"Yes love." Severus winked back and the trio was gone.

Severus was pouring a drink to drown his sorry in, when he heard a tap at the window. It was a tawny owl, he let it in and took the letter from it giving it a treat and sending it on its way. Severus opened the letter, which read.

 

 

Sev, I didn't forget your present. It's on the bed.

I love you. L.E.S

 

 

Severus shook his head and strode off to their bed wondering what she could have left. The gift was unwrapped with another note on top.

 

 

I remember, I know all of it. I know who is buried in Spinner's end.

I couldn't have picked a better name. I love it. Thank you.

I'm not angry. It has came back in pieces. I still love you and this changes nothing.

I knew before I married you.

Happy Birthday.

Lily

 

 

Severus was so stunned he didn't notice the gift, it was the picture board from her room at her parents home. She had added pictures of their wedding and a sonogram picture she managed to get from St. Mungo's after remembering Eros. Severus paced the floor reading the note over and over. "She knew before she married me." He kept chanting. He finally tired himself out and sat on the bed, only then noticing the picture board and the added pictures. He gingerly ran his fingers over it, letting the tears fall. 'Mama knows about you now.' Is all he could say to the squirming tiny baby in the black and white picture. 'She knows.'


	40. Chapter 40

Dumbledore had just settled into his office chair after dinner, shuffling threw papers when a fox patronus appeared in his office with the message "We need to talk now!". He knew this couldn't be good and immediately found himself in the guest house "What's wrong?" he asked in a very worried tone.

Severus said nothing, as he took another drink from his whiskey glass he slid the note Lily had left across the table.

Dumbledore picked it up, read it then slumped into a chair.

Severus arched his eyebrows "I thought you fixed this."

"I thought I did as well." Said a very baffled Dumbledore.

"Well unless there has been a death at Hogwarts, no one has told her. I know I didn't." Severus stated bluntly.

"Severus, I don't pretend to know every facet of magic. It is impossible to know the bounds of our world. Love magic can override any other form. She must have visited the grave on her own, a mother's love knows no bounds." Dumbledore babbling trying to figure out how Lily had gotten her memory back.

"Part of me is elated she knows, another part is sad that she knows the hurt and another part is deathly afraid she will find out it's my fault." Severus choked out.

"Severus it was an accident." Dumbledore said in a soft tone.

Severus laughed evilly "You really think she will give a fuck when she finds out what I did?"

"Who will tell her? Are you willing to tell her?" Dumbledore charged.

"No, I don't ever want her knowing I could do something so vile but should she ask, I will not lie to her." Severus stated bluntly.

Dumbledore sighed, "Only you can decide what is best for her and yourself."

Severus sat twirling the now empty glass between his palms "I only called you here because I thought you should know. I assume she is stable mentally, she has acted normally. I had no clue she knew until after they departed today."

"I will keep a close check on her. Should anything change I will alert you." Dumbledore said as a promise.

"Thank you." Severus said dismissively.

"Severus, she loves you and even if she were to know I think, in time, she would forgive you. I shall be on my way, call if you should need me." Dumbledore said followed by his disappartion crack.

Severus sat for hours thinking about all the possible ways that this secret could get out, how Lily would react knowing he had killed their child and left her unable to have her own. He wanted to keep it a secret forever; in a perfect world she would never know "Selfish Bastard." He said aloud. "You don't deserve her, you never did. The only decent thing you can do is go tell her and allow her to divorce you and get out of this fucked up situation." He said talking to himself.

"Master Snape, Shelby doesn't wish to speak out of turn but Madame Snape loves you very much, you do deserve her and she deserves you. Shelby knows that with love comes forgiveness." The little elf spoke.

The very startled Severus looked to Shelby, "Shelby, some things can't be forgiven. I'm afraid this is one of those things."

Shelby bowed her head "Master Snape, secrets have a way of making themselves felt. Shelby has seen them slowly eat away the good and only leave bitterness and hurt. Shelby thinks it is best to be honest with Madame Snape now before the secret has a chance to grow. Shelby will go now, Shelby knows she has spoken unwanted words."

Severus couldn't manage a word before the little elf was gone, leaving him again to his whiskey and thoughts. Sometime around midnight a rather intoxicated Severus stepped out of the vanishing cabinet into Lily's quarters at Hogwarts. He stood and watched her sleep for a few moments before climbing in bed with her. Like always her long red hair was a mess scattered everywhere, Severus smiled and attempted to tame the locks tucking them behind her ear. He gently pulled himself into a spooning position behind her just holding her. Half way through a bottle of whiskey, he decided Shelby was right and that Lily should know what he had done and take the wrath that came with the truth.

Even in her sleep somehow Lily knew he was there, she woke felling his presence, his scent and a strong smell of whiskey but lay still and quiet.

Severus was whispering to her thinking she was asleep "Lily, I love you more than you will ever know. I have never stopped and no matter what happens, I always will. I only hope in time you will forgive me for what I must tell you. I am so sorry, I never meant for this to happen. If I could take it all back I would, all of it, getting mixed up with the Dark Lord, turning my back on you thinking I was saving you, missing out on those precious months with Eros and most of all my rage fit that cost me everything. I am so sorry."

Lily could hear a faint sob coming from her husband and couldn't take hearing him in pain, she rolled over to see his very shocked face, "Sev, I have my memories, I know about Eros. I remember all of it; it's no longer a blur. The day I seen you in the graveyard I felt a weird pull to come to you. I didn't know it was you until I got closer, at first I thought the pull was to you. It ate at me long after you took me home that day. I returned after you left and felt the same pull to that tiny grave, I sat there and cried for the longest time not knowing why. I begged Merlin to help me understand why your child with another woman would hurt me so bad. Merlin didn't help me, Eros did, or maybe it was you, I figured out the name. I knew that was deeper than a cheap whore in Knockturn Alley. You wouldn't name a child Love Always Snape if you weren't trying to send me a message. The memories returned in pieces until I had all of them. I know why all of you lied to me; I'm not upset about that. I understand why you walked away; I understand why you spoke so harshly to me, everything you have done has been to protect me. I assume you are here to admit a sin. I think I know what that sin is, I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me because it does but I don't think your mistake was directed at me. You would have been the only person with reason to attack James and I simply got in the way. It hurts, it really does but I know you would never hurt me on purpose or our child and I'm sure you have punished yourself enough. I can not imagine the torment you have felt going through this alone. I know it was you, and I know you have tormented and punished yourself since the day it happened. Have I pretty much summed up your confession?"

Severus's chest was so tight with guilt it was hard to breathe; he couldn't even look at her "I'm sorry Lily. If I had known you were out there I would have never. I wanted to come to you so badly but I was a coward fearing death and just watched. Lily if you wish to divorce me I will grant you anything you wish."

Lily snuggled closer to him, "Sev, what did my letter say?"

"That you knew before you married me." Severus mumbled.

Lily put her forehead to his, "It also said that this changes nothing and I still love you."

Severus choked back the tears wanting to fall, "Yes, but you didn't know it was my fault before."

Lily gave a small chuckle "Do you really think I didn't have this figured out long ago? You were the only one who would attack James. My best guess is that you got drunk and seen us at the willow and your bitterness took over and you sent the spell at James but were so drunk you hit me too. Love I'm quiet smart, apparently a lot smarter than anyone at the Ministry, or Sirius or Remus or James or….. pretty much everyone here."

Severus gave into the anguish, "Lily I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted to hurt him. I was so jealous, you said he was more fit than me to father our child and the thoughts of that bastard being called 'daddy' by our child drove me insane. I thought you were in the castle. I seen three people and I thought it was those three not you."

"I know love. I figured that out fairly quickly. I was upset and bitter for a little bit, I won't lie, I thought about killing you. What changed my mind was the day in the bar, when I seen you were ready to die for your mistakes I knew you meant it. Death would have been welcomed compared to what you were putting yourself through. Now, if I knew before I married you please explain how this is on my finger." Lily showing him her wedding rings that she removed the disillusionment charm from every night. "They only present themselves in true love, which means I love you even though you made a terrible mistake."

Severus swallowed the large lump in his throat "I don't understand how you can forgive me or still love me. I kill….."

"Yes, I know what you have done. I'm hurt that I will never know our son and a little disappointed that I can no longer have children but I know it was a terrible mistake that was unintentional, toward me anyways. I forgive you now forgive yourself." Lily cut him off.

"Lily I can't forgive myself, I took his life. You should hate me. How can you forgive and love me knowing this?" Severus questioned in tears.

Lily placed her index finger over Severus's mouth so he could no longer speak, "Because I love you. That's how. I know that if you could give your life in exchange to give him back to me you would without hesitation. I'm sad and I miss him but I still love you and wouldn't leave you for all the gold in Gringott's. You have already told me I could fill our home with as many little shitheads as I wanted to and that's good enough for me. We will raise all those children who aren't wanted, they will grow up with love and happiness. We will give them everything we would have given Eros. Now, I do not ever wish to speak of this again! It hurts to talk about it and I'm not totally over it; I may never be. We will visit him together on every holiday and his birthday. Now, hush and hold me and you can sneak out of here in the morning."

Severus couldn't understand her forgiveness or love but refused to question it. The weight of that horrid secret was gone and he felt a million pounds lighter. He pulled Lily as tight to him as he possibly could whispering, "Thank you for forgiving me and loving me, I love you. Goodnight."

Lily smiled, "Thank you for admitting it, that took a lot of courage but never speak of it again. I love you. Goodnight."

That night in a single size bed, holding on tightly to the most precious thing on Earth, Severus had the first guilt free sleep he had in months. _He dreamt of Eros, he was a toddler now, he had his black hair and Lily's eyes. He was happy and smiling. The dream shifted Severus and Lily and Eros were standing on Platform 9 ¾ sending their son off to his first day at Hogwarts. Lily was a crying mess and kept asking if there was anything he had forgotten. The tall slender raven haired boy shook his head and looked lovingly at his parents with those emerald eyes "Mom, Dad. I will be fine! I promise. Love you guys." He yelled as he jumped aboard the Hogwarts Express. The dream shifted again and again showing Severus all of Eros's huge life moments. He looked just like Lily except he had his father's hair and intellect, probably the reason he was sorted into Slytherin house. The last moment of the dream was Eros as a man, they were standing at Eros's grave in Spinner's End. Severus looked at the dates on the grave marker that had not changed. "How can this be? I watched you grow!" Severus asked baffled. Eros smiled at his father "I showed you what I would have been. You have asked yourself that a million times. I wanted you to know. I showed mum as well. I helped her remember me." Severus felt a lump form in his throat "So you're still gone?" "It wasn't my time to be here yet. I was called back. Dad, I forgive you just as mum has, I ask just one thing of you. Love any child placed in your life as you would have me." Eros said with a loving smile. "Thank you son, I promise I will. I'm so sorry I did this to you. I love you." Severus choked out. Eros smiled "You'll get through this dad. No apology needed, I would have been called back with or without your actions. I love you too."_ The dream ended as Lily was waking Severus to get him gone before anyone found him in her room.

Severus sat up in a jolt, "Lily! Did you have a dream about…."

"Yes, I did. That's how I made peace with it. Handsome isn't he, I wasn't thrilled about the Slytherin house thing but…" Lily smiled at her confused husband as she cut him off.

"What did he look like?" Severus questioned with narrowed eyes wondering if it had been Eros or just his mind trying to make peace.

Lily smiled at the memory of the dream that seemed so real, "As a baby he was a fat happy little thing. Then as a very confident child hopping on a train telling us he would be fine and that he loved us he was tall for his age, kinda skinny, your hair and my eyes. Then as a grown man he looked a lot like me except he had your hair and jaw line. Sev, he said it wasn't his time. He would have been called back no matter what. That's how I made peace with it. You should too. Now get your ass out of this bed and get home unless of course you'd like for me to get expelled."

"Can't have that! I'm going now love." Severus said jumping out of the bed headed for the cabinet. "I'm really glad he showed me that. I'm really proud and relieved." Severus smiled.

"I'm glad he showed you too. I know it helps." Lily smiled at him.

"Did he ask anything of you?" Severus questioned.

Lily shook her head, "No, The last thing he told me was that he would have went back no matter what happened and he loved me and wanted me to be happy."

Severus nodded "Ok love, I have to go. I have a meeting this morning. I love you."

Lily walked over and kissed him then rested her forehead on his "We made a beautiful son. I love you."

Severus smiled "Handsome, intelligent, and Slytherin like his father!" Severus whisper yelled as he stepped into the cabinet quickly saying the incantation to take him home, smiling the entire time.

Dobby greeted Severus at the door of Malfoy Manor and quickly sent Narcissa to meet him. Narcissa's hopeful face was almost heartbreaking, knowing he must tell her he couldn't help them. "We need to speak in private." Severus said in a low tone before Narcissa could even greet him.

Narcissa nodded and they returned to the same office they had talked in only a few days before. "Have a seat. I'll go get Lucius." Narcissa said timidly.

Severus nodded and sat in the wingback chair. A few minutes later the door opened "Hello Snape. How are you?" Lucius greeted.

Severus looked up sending a silent message, Lucius's face fell and he drew a deep breath. When everyone was seated Severus let out a long sigh, "I tried, I really did. The people I know who I thought could hide her refused to help due to your deep ties to the Dark Lord. They think you are too much of a risk. There's nothing more I can do." Severus looked over to Narcissa who had silent tears streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry. I did ask, I have no other ideas."

Narcissa being graceful as always, "Thank you, you didn't have to even try. We truly appreciate your effort."

Lucius was visibly frustrated, "What if I send her into the muggle world under a disillusionment charm? How long do you think that would work?" Lucius asked rubbing his forehead.

Severus arched an eyebrow and looked at Narcissa "Where do muggles get food? What is muggle money called? Can you drive a car? Can you cook? What is proper muggle attire for shopping?" The look on Narcissa's face answered the question "As you can see, not very long." Severus stated smugly.

Lucius nodded in defeat, "Then where can I send her?"

Severus frowned, "I honestly have no clue. She can't live among muggles and she would be found anywhere in our world. Just wait to send her anywhere until you have something that would actually work."

"Severus I don't have fucking time to wait! Even if I divorce her we both know he will go after her. He's fixated on Bella at the moment but when he gets bored guess who will be his next target!" Lucius yelled slamming his fist on the desk.

"I understand your fear, I truly do. She is safer closer to you right now rather than to send her off into the muggle world clueless and alone. If I think of anything else I will come right away, with any luck Bella will keep his attention until a solution can be found. I highly advise against sending her off alone!" Severus tried to reason with his angry and frustrated old friend.

Severus stood, "I must be going now. Lucius, I will stay in touch. Narcissa will you walk me to the door please, I'm afraid I may get lost trying to see myself out." Severus said giving a small smirk. Narcissa stood and lead him to the door without a word. "Do you still have those vials I gave you?" Severus whispered as they approached the door.

Narcissa nodded, "Yes, I hid them."

"Listen to me. Until we can find something better, keep them hidden on yourself at all times. Should the Dark Lord show up drink half of the green one. It would be rather hard to violate you if you are 'sick' and it would be hard to say the required words needed for a brand as well. It is the best I can do for you at the moment. I will bring more with me the next time I come. Do not tell Lucius, he needs to seem genuinely concerned." Severus instructed her in hush tones.

Narcissa smiled, "Thank you. I should have listened." She said shaking her head in disgust at herself.

"We all make mistakes. We all can be forgiven and redeemed if we so choose to. Half the green. Do not forget." Severus said with a small smile.

"Yes sir! Have a lovely day." Narcissa winked then gave her goodbye.

Severus walked through the door "It has already been a lovely day for me. I hope the same for you!" he said smiling as he started toward the gates to apparate home where he could sit and replay that morning's visit from his son. 'He called me dad.' He thought just before apparating.


	41. Chapter 41

The weeks ticked by, Severus was tasked with making potions and he had been ordered to help kill several aurors and Ministry Officials. He managed to minorly injure several and let himself be hit with the Cruciatus curse several times to have an excuse to not to hurt anyone else. He had taken many injuries to keep from severely hurting or killing anyone. The Dark Lord tasked him to killing and kidnapping muggles he found to be problems, when Severus's failures became numerous. Severus kept Dumbledore informed of all of the things going on with the Dark Lord and told of every misdeed he was ordered to do and how he managed to hurt as few as possible and admitted to taking hits on purpose.

Lily was livid about his injuries, Shelby had came to get her on several occasions because he was injured so badly at times Shelby wasn't sure what she needed to do. Lily constantly threatened to quit school, so Dumbledore and Severus allowed her to come and go as she pleased to check on him. They agreed giving in to her would be the only way to keep her at the school were she was safe. To help sidetrack her, her and Severus began their animagus process. The month of the mandrake leaf was awful but as soon as it was over the potion was brewed and they were waiting on the first thunderstorm.

Eileen had talked with Dumbledore about releasing Idgie and Jinco to herself and Sirius. Dumbledore informed her that the elves at Hogwarts were there of their own accord and could leave with anyone they saw fit. Eileen refused to take the two elves without doing something for the school in return; so she made large donations to all the stores in Diagon Alley that supplied the children who attended Hogwarts under the condition that the money was to be used for the children who's parents couldn't afford required things or clothes.

Shelby was asked to move into the guest house due to Severus's nearly constant injuries and Lily's frequent visits under orders should Lily ever show up and the house not be safe to immediately apparate her back to Hogwarts. Idgie was quietly and happily living in the trio's dorm. She was a secret to the rest of the school and she understood and respected her new masters wishes. She was more than happy to go and do whatever was asked of her, she never objected to Sirius's order to obey Lily and Remus. She had purpose again, she had a proper master and she knew she would leave with him very soon to a proper home, with proper jobs.

Dumbledore put off his meeting with Lucius and Narcissa for a couple of weeks after Severus's disappointing news about not finding help for them. He didn't want his visit to seem too convenient. Upon his arrival at Malfoy Manor he was greeted properly but could read the confusion on both of their faces. "I assume you are rather confused with my sudden visit. I have come to see if you two would be willing to help arrange a ball for this years graduating students. Lucius you were a prefect while in attendance and Narcissa you were a very good student. I am looking for some help from former students who are more in touch with today's youth yet wouldn't allow things to get too out of hand. I really would appreciate the help. I think it would help you two as well." Dumbledore arched his eyebrows and smiled while telling his white lie.

Narcissa was clueless as she had spent very little time around Dumbledore during her school years. Lucius, on the other hand, had spent some time around the man and knew a lot could be said between his facial expressions and words, "How about we think about this for a little bit and come visit you at the school later this afternoon." Lucius questioned with a look of intrigue.

Dumbledore smiled and nodded, "That would work out wonderfully. I will let the guards at the gates know of your arrival. I will have Slughorn escort you to my office. I need to be on my way." He said as he stood.

Lucius showed him to the door but before opened it looked at the man silently pleading for some kind of help. He was the only person alive the Dark Lord feared and he was his last hope. Dumbledore of course had spent their short visit listening to their thoughts and peeking at a few memories; finding Severus had been very much correct. Lucius finally opened the door "Have a good day, Headmaster." In a very humble tone.

Dumbledore gave Lucius a very serious look, "I do hope you can find time to help out with a good cause."

Lucius nodded hoping he was getting the correct message, "Either way we will see you later today."

Dumbledore nodded and made his way off the Malfoy property and back to his office.

Lucius suddenly insisted that he and Narcissa go out for lunch. The couple apparated into muggle London and found a small bustling café, they ordered and after their food arrived Lucius explained he felt that Dumbledore might be an answer to their problem. They replayed the conversation quietly picking it apart.

Lucius was convinced that they could ask him for help, Narcissa was a little more wary about it.

"Lucius why would he offer help to a known Death Eater and his wife?" Narcissa whispered.

"That I am not sure of but why would he ask us to help with a ball. I have never heard of such. Have you? The man has other motives, I know it!" Lucius whispered back.

"I'm not sure about this. It could be a trap to have you sent to Azkaban!" Narcissa bit back quietly.

"I am going to meet with him! Are you coming with me or would you like to stay at the Manor by yourself to greet the Dark Lord should he stop by?!" Lucius spat back.

Narcissa's eye's grew wide in fear, "No, I would not." She said calmly.

"We have nothing to lose. If he says no, then we have lost nothing. I will not admit to anything to have myself jailed. Now gather your things so we can go." Lucius ordered.

They soon found themselves at the gates of Hogwarts, gaining access to the grounds as promised. "I hope you're right." Narcissa said in a very worried tone as they walked the path up to the castle.

"I hope I am as well love. He's our last hope." Lucius said worried but hopeful.

Slughorn met them at the front entrance and they made their way to Dumbledore's office in silence.

"Well it's good to see you made it. Please have a seat." Dumbledore greeted them. The pair seated themselves their nervousness was visible. Dumbledore kept them busy talking about the supposed ball he needed help with while he quietly listened to their thoughts and read their mannerisms.

The Malfoys entertained Dumbledore's offer of helping with a ball, in the graduating students honor, but Lucius knew there had to be more to this meeting. They went back and forth with plans and ideas for quiet some time but nothing was ever made definitive which further fueled Lucius's suspicion that he wasn't there to plan a ball.

A knock came at the door right on time, Dumbledore smiled knowing that Minerva would never let him down no matter how much she disagreed or was confused. "Ah, Professor McGonagall, how can I help you?" Dumbledore beamed at her.

Minerva put on a fake sweet smile "I heard Narcissa was here and wanted to see her for a few minutes. If that is acceptable with everyone?" Narcissa looked to Lucius who nodded for her to go.

Lucius now was sure that Narcissa had been removed from the room so he and Dumbledore could get down to business.

With the click of the door Dumbledore's demeanor changed greatly, "Such a lovely young woman she is, do you not ever fear for her?" he said with narrowed eyes.

Lucius dropped his head in guilt, "Sir, you have no idea how much I fear for her everyday. I have looked into every option I can think of to keep her safe to no avail."

Dumbledore cocked his head to one side, "Surely Voldermort wouldn't harm the wife of one of his favorite henchmen. As I understand it you have followed his every command for quite some time." Dumbledore questioned.

Lucius looked up and cleared his throat, "Sir, in this life, it is do as he says or die. I really do not have much of a choice. She is unbranded and wishes to remain that way. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone, I would do anything asked of me if someone could guarantee me her safety until his downfall."

Dumbledore arched his eyebrows, "Downfall? Are you saying you doubt your master? I don't spend much time in the company of Death Eaters but I would assume you would wish for him to win this war and kill all these 'filthy mudbloods' as he would say. That would be his goal. Is it not?"

Lucius felt like he was treading on thin ice knowing if he admitted his crimes he could immediately be taken to Azkaban; they needed help and this was his last hope, "Sir, the Dark Lord does have a great distain for those who are less than half blood but at the moment his goal is to take over the Ministry and rule over the Wizard World. His main goal at the moment is power, once he gains that he can do whatever he pleases and then none of us have any value. It was taken me far longer than I care to admit to figure out once his goal is met that none of us are safe."

Dumbledore in a mock shocked face, "He's trying to take over the Ministry? How would he manage that? You mean to tell me that Lord Voldermort values no life, muggle nor wizard?"

Lucius knew now that Dumbledore was testing him and he needed to give him something to keep his attention, "Sir, if you should grab that bottle of brandy and two glasses we can sit and talk at length about his plans. I can and will tell you freely anything you want to know. In exchange for every ounce of information I can give you all I ask is that you hide Narcissa somewhere. I deserve no leniency for my crimes, I made a choice and I will pay the price for them. She is innocent; she has done nothing to deserve this life besides fall in love with the wrong person. I know you can help her, I will give you anything you want if you will agree to keep her safe."

Dumbledore smiled knowing Lucius had taken the bait, "Let us talk about what Narcissa's safety will cost you." Dumbledore then began to explain to Lucius what he wanted from him, how dangerous it would be and even made the same deal to stand beside him during his trails at the Ministry should he fulfill his duty. Lucius agreed, he was given Veritaserum and questioned at length about many things in many ways.

Lucius couldn't lie even if he wanted to, but he never even tried to lie, he told the truth to every question no matter how incriminating it was. He did so without fear, he already knew Dumbledore would hide his wife if he did as he was asked and he was ready to do whatever it took.

Dumbledore was impressed at his willingness to walk the tight rope of a spy. Lucius agreed to all of Dumbledore's terms of keeping Narcissa hidden, he must report any and all activity he was involved in or found information of, he must submit to Veritaserum whenever asked, he was to try to do as little harm as possible yet still maintain good standing as a Death Eater and even agreed to help spread the lie that he had beaten Narcissa in a fit of rage and she had left in the middle of the night.

Narcissa on the other hand had no clue that she was under the same potion as Lucius; Minerva had slipped hers in a cup of tea while having a chat. Minerva asked all the questions she had been instructed to but in a gentle, friendly manner. Narcissa held nothing back, she told everything that been going on at the Manor and her fears.

Minerva found the same thing as Dumbledore; they were scared and willing to do anything. Several hours later Narcissa and Minerva returned to Dumbledore's office, Minerva gave the nod of approval then excused herself.

Dumbledore and Lucius told Narcissa what they felt she should know about what had transpired in her absence, she was relieved to find she would be hidden but was a bit uncomfortable about Lucius not knowing where she would be. She was told even she wouldn't know where she was. She was assured she would see Lucius on occasion in time, if he held up his part of the agreement, but they would be separated for some time. The details of Lucius's agreement to turn spy, and the lie of her disappearance was left out for her piece of mind.

They were allowed a short bittersweet goodbye before Dumbledore came to take her off to wherever safe was. Lucius left Hogwarts with mixed emotions he was ecstatic and grateful his wife would not fall into the hands of the Dark Lord, already feeling a little ashamed that he would be known as a wife beater, even among Death Eaters is wasn't something to be proud of and was petrified that he would be found out and killed.

Dumbledore instructed Lucius to meet him at different random places to teach him Occlumency to keep his thoughts private. He picked up the skill quickly, it only took a few sessions to have Dumbledore locked out of his mind; fear is a powerful incentive.


	42. Chapter 42

It had rained several times but not a sighting of lightening could be found for months. The daily incantations were quickly becoming irritating but both Lily and Severus did them faithfully. So far nothing had prevented a single incantation through tests, injuries or the Dark Lord they had managed them every day at dawn and dusk.

Lily, Remus, Sirius and Idgie arrived at what they all called home now on Friday evening of Easter break. It was the last week of March and this was the first time the guys had came home with her since her small birthday party at the end of January.

"Merlin it's good to be home!" Sirius yelled as he plopped down on the couch.

"Home? Since when did we adopt you Mr. Black?" Severus asked as he strolled toward the sitting room sipping whiskey.

"I was your Christmas present Snape!" Sirius shot back smugly.

"Where were you purchased? I'd like to return you." Severus asked nonchalantly.

"Me and Lily found him at the dog pound." Remus chimed in chuckling.

Lily playfully slapped Severus's arm then kissed him, "Stop picking at the children."

"If I must….. Insufferable witch." Severus said with a smile.

"What are the chances of a peaceful weekend?" Lily asked fearful.

Severus frowned, "Fifty-fifty with any luck."

"Well let's make the best of it then. We all need a break." Lily shouted behind her as she was off to the liquor cabinet.

As the conversation was dying down for a moment Idgie walked over to Sirius with hopeful eyes, "Master Black, Can Idgie do anything for you sir?"

Sirius oblivious to what the little elf wanted, "No Idgie we pretty much take care of ourselves here."

Lily returned with a bottle of whiskey overhearing the conversation, "Shelby."

Shelby appeared promptly immediately seeing her sister she squealed and hugged her but found her manners quickly, "Shelby apologizes Madame, how can Shelby serve you?"

Lily smiled at the pair, "I need you to go to Mrs. Prince and get Jinco, come back here and catch up with your siblings. You all have the night off."

Idgie was wide eyed and Shelby was nearly in tears, "Madame….."

Lily cut her off before anything else could be said, "Fine then, it's on order. You deserve to spend some time with your siblings. Off you go!" she said with a smile.

The two elves beamed at her and with a crack were gone to get their brother and catch up on many missed years.

"Sirius Black! How could you not realize she wanted to see her sister? I swear you are so thick sometimes!" Lily said shaking her head.

Sirius blushed at being so insensitive, "Sorry Lils."

"Next time try to remember! Now anybody up for a game of quarters?" Lily asked with a playful smirk.

"Hell yes!" the room yelled and they quickly sat up the table for the game.

Severus winked at Lily and said, "Maybe Sirius and Remus will get hitched this time."

Remus blushed blood red and Sirius chuckled saying, "Never know!" shrugging his shoulders.

Remus put on a fake smug look, "You won't get off that cheap Mr. Black. I expect diamonds and a grand affair!"

The room erupted in laughter. "Damn, I thought dating a guy would be cheaper!" Sirius joked.

That night was filled with drunkenness and two silencing charms but it was peaceful, happy and no marriages took place. They drank and laughed and talked like they had those last few days they were locked together during Christmas. Everything went back to normal almost immediately. They were home at last.

Around 3 a.m. Lily and Severus were awakened to Remus beating on their door screaming.

Lily jumped up and put on a bathrobe and quickly opened the door "What is wrong?!"

"IT'S RAINING! HARD!" Remus yelled.

"Oh shit! Sev, get dressed quick! This might be it!" Lily shouted trying to find clothes.

Within moments the four of them were standing outside, potion and wands in hand begging Merlin for just one lightening strike. They stood in the rain until they were soaked. Every second that ticked by without a streak of lightening was more of a disappointment.

In frustration Lily began to laugh, "Sirius go find a lighting rod." She chuckled.

"What the bloody hell is a lighting rod?" Sirius asked confused.

"Oh, never mind you spoiled ass pureblood wizard who knows nothing about muggle shit!" Lily said with a laugh.

"I do know some muggle stuff!" Sirius retorted.

"Yeah like what? Porno?" Lily said mocking him.

"No, not that. You can explain that later though, sounds interesting." Sirius said as he bent down to tie his shoe (or so he wanted it to seem). Lily was standing with her hand on her hip, head cocked to one side arrogantly waiting on Sirius's muggle wisdom. Sirius stood and smiled at Lily and winked at Snape "I know about this!" followed by a handful of mud being flung at Lily smacking her in the face. "Muggles love mud fights." Sirius beamed.

Lily stood stock still not believing Sirius had just threw mud at her, she slowly wiped the mud off her face trying not show any emotion, "You're right Sirius, muggles do love a good mud fight. You know what else? Witches do too." Lily said as she started off toward him.

Sirius took off in a run but Lily caught him jumping on his back causing him to fall face first onto the ground. Severus found all of this very amusing but knew Lily was in lush grass and not mud, so he helped her out and conjured dirt all around the pair, the rain was quickly turning the fresh dirt into mud and within moment both of them were unrecognizable.

"What the hell man?!" Sirius yelled as soon as he realized what Snape had done.

Severus tried looking innocent, "Just giving you kids somewhere to play."

Lily yelled, "Thanks love!" as she pelted Sirius with yet another mud ball.

Severus and Remus stood laughing at the two fighting like children. Lily and Sirius rolled around in the mud slinging it at one another until they felt they were even. "Let's get them. You roll over really quick and I'll yell in pain and they'll both come running. When they get here we grab them and jerk them in." Lily whispered to Sirius rubbing mud into his hair.

"Got it." He whispered as he quickly rolled over throwing Lily off him as instructed.

Lily howled like an injured hyena and of course both Severus and Remus were running in the direction of her caterwauling. Neither Severus or Remus could get out a word before Lily and Sirius grabbed them pulling them into the mud pit of Snape's own creation.

"Witch! You better be injured!" Severus snarled.

"Nope! Just wanted you to come play with me!" Lily said as she smeared mud all in Severus's hair.

Severus wanted to be livid, he hated being dirty but those emerald green eyes and angelic laughter made it impossible to be mad, "Play huh? Yes, I can do that." Severus whispered, "Remus, help me with mine and I'll help you with yours. Deal?"

Remus nodded in acceptance. Severus pushed Lily into Remus, Remus caught her and held her while Severus made the mud pit a little deeper. Then he stalked over to his mud covered wife, gently pecked her on the lips, "Just remember, I love you." He smirked. Severus grabbed her wrists and told Remus to grab her ankles, they suspended her in the air rocking her back and forth over the now very deep mud hole. On the count of three they both let her go and she sank all the way to the bottom, completely covered. She shot up out of the mud pit, "You assholes will pay!"

Remus nodded to Sirius who was caught off guard laughing like a fool, Remus and Snape dropped him in the same way as Lily. Sirius came up cussing just like Lily had. Remus and Snape got caught up in laughing at their perfectly executed revenge they never noticed their partner's behind them until they both felt the push lunging them forward face first into the same hole they had place Lily and Sirius.

The mud fight continued along with the heavy rain, somehow they had forgotten their disappointment in not getting any lightening and all four of them just acted like children.

"HUSH!" Remus barked suddenly.

"What is it?" Lily whispered.

"I think I heard thunder." Remus whispered back. A few short seconds later they heard it again.

They all stood looking at the sky in every direction looking for the first strike of lightening. "Ready Lily?" Severus asked nervously.

"Yep!" she replied quickly never taking her eyes off they sky.

The thunder got closer together and Snape grabbed Lily's hand mentally preparing to not screw this up. Lily looked down at his hand then smiled up at him, "Thank you for doing this with me."

"NOW!" Sirius and Remus screamed as they had seen the lightening that Snape and Lily missed looking at each other.

Lily and Severus quickly said the same incantation they had been saying for months now and then drank the vile animagus potion. They managed to get both accomplished before the next lightening strike, in the blink of an eye before Sirius and Remus were two red foxes; one had black markings on it's feet, tail and ears the other was almost completely red.

Sirius and Remus kissed in excitement. "They finally did it!" Remus said clapping at the little foxes running around the grounds.

"Well at least we can tell them apart." Sirius chuckled.

Severus initially felt very strange, he typically disliked all animals but this was him. He still had all of his knowledge yet wasn't human. He quickly saw the many advantages of being able to become an animal at will. This would surely get him out of more than one sticky situation in the future he thought.

Lily was elated, she immediately loved being able to transfigure herself. Secretly she had always wanted to become an animagus since she had seen McGonagall do it 1st year. The joy she felt in finally achieving a secret dream was indescribable.

Severus and Lily finally noticed each other and found they could understand each other without a sound.

"This is amazing, do I look just like you?" Lily communicated.

"It isn't as bad as I thought it would be and love I can't see all of myself but you're solid red." Severus thought back.

"Whatever Sev! You're having fun! I can feel it! You have a black tail and ears." Lily thought

"Hush witch!" Severus thought tackling Lily and biting her ear.

The foxes were interrupted by the huge black dog that was Sirius, "I can hear you as well."

"Come to spoil our party Mr. Black?" Severus thought.

"Actually I thought you might need some help transforming back into humans but if you're happy staying foxes I can go back to what I was doing before Remus decided we needed to wake you." Sirius thought.

"Ummmm…..Yeah we may need some help with that." Severus thought.

Sirius helped them go through the process of returning to human form. The four of them spent the majority of Saturday (with the exception of the celebration party) and Sunday learning how to change at will without wands. By lunch time on Sunday both Lily and Severus could change at will.

It was almost time for the trio to return to Hogwarts, they were all in the sitting room laughing at the events of the weekend, especially their ridiculously fun mud fight.

"Hey Lils, I almost forgot! What's porno?" Sirius asked out of the blue.

Lily blushed and looked to Severus. Severus arched his eyebrows as if to say 'you started this' then gave into her silent pleas from those green eyes he never could say no to, "It is 'Adult' pictures and movies in the muggle world. I'm wondering how my lovely wi…. Lily knows of these things." Severus looked back at Lily with a smirk because of his almost slip and the true question. Lily gave an innocent look and turned to admire the wall across the room.

"Adult?! That doesn't sound interesting at all! Are they like newspapers or muggle news?" Sirius questioned.

Severus and Lily laughed, "Yeah, kinda, something like that."

"Muggles are so damn weird sometimes." Sirius said disappointed.

Severus noticed the time and suddenly stood and left the room, he returned with several vials "I know you must be getting low. I want to make sure you are kept well stocked and thank you for helping with the animagus thing. We would never have been able to do it without you and Sirius."

Remus took the many vials gratefully "Thank you, without this I wouldn't have been able to be here this weekend." Remus reminding them that Friday had been a full moon.

"I have totally forgotten since you've had the Wolfsbane." Lily admitted.

"Wonderful isn't it." Remus smiled.

"Well Snape I guess it's about time for your pain in the ass children to go back to school." Sirius chuckled.

"Looks that way. I finally get to kick you out of MY HOUSE!" Severus joked.

"Yeah I guess Remus and I need to start looking for somewhere to live, we'll seriously be homeless come June." Sirius said in thought. "Moony where do you want to live?"

"I suppose close to where ever we are now. I'd like to stay close to Lily and Snape." Remus answered thoughtfully.

Lily looked to Severus and he gave the nod to tell them, "Actually, no you won't be. Severus and I have talked about it and if you would like to you can live with us. It would be doing us both a favor. You can live here and keep me from going insane when he leaves on missions. It's up to you two."

"You're joking right? Snape wants us to live with you? You mean he's going to finally tell us where we are?" Sirius asked baffled.

"Yes, I would actually consider it a favor. I wouldn't worry about Lily as much if she isn't here alone." Severus said in somber tone.

"We would be happy to live here until such time as you need us to move out on our own." Remus interrupted before Sirius could question it anymore.

"Thank you." Severus said almost relieved.

"Great now we have all that worked out! I hate being the one to say this but we really do have to go." Lily finished in a pout.

Severus walked outside with them before they apparated back to Hogwarts, he kissed Lily goodbye and exchanged "I love you's". Their departures weren't hard anymore as they seen each other almost daily. Right before they apparated Sirius laughed and yelled "WELL HOGWARTS KNOWS I'M GAY, CAN'T WAIT TO TELL THEM I LIVE WITH SNIVELLUS!"

Severus saw Lily smack Sirius's arm hard, grabbed both their arms looked at Severus shaking her head and with a crack they were gone.

Severus chuckled and muttered, "Bastard!" to himself. "Shelby" he called.

"Yes master Snape. What can Shelby do for you?" the little elf stood waiting orders.

"Give me a moment to think dear." He said tapping his chin with his index finger. An evil smirk spread across Severus's face, "Follow me Shelby." He said as he took off for the house. Inside he handed Shelby a vial, "I need you to go to Hogwarts into Lily's quarters, make sure all three of them are gone to dinner. When you are certain they are gone, pour all of this into the whiskey bottle between the mattress and box springs. Do not be seen and come back as quickly as you can."

"Yes master Snape." The little elf left without question.

Severus poured a glass of whiskey to celebrate this small victory, 'Idiot never changes his hiding places, Pompfrey can't punish me anymore and he can't have sex if he's shitting himself to death!' Severus thought letting out an audible evil laugh. Severus looked at the whiskey glass at eye level laughed lifted it in a toast to himself "Cheers, Mr. Black."


	43. Chapter 43

The weeks seemed to be rolling by quickly. Far too quickly for Severus's liking, Lily would soon be taking her N.E.W.T.S, which was a mess, they still hadn't found a solution for covering up her new name. The Trio would have fast-forwarded time if they thought it possible. They were tired of the constant studying and tests, they all just wanted to go home.

Dumbledore had been pulling them from the common room at night to learn skills they would need to enter the Order. Although they learned a lot it was tiresome, especially when they worked with a very skilled but grumpy auror named Moody. He taught them things they had never heard of but he was strict, a bit odd and if they heard 'Constant Vigilance' one more time they were going to eye roll themselves blind. He never failed to be interesting though, just when they thought they were ready to go to battle, Moody proved them wrong.

They worked with many other Order members who all taught them something useful and at last Dumbledore told them they were finished with outsiders; their last lessons would be with him. Dumbledore intended to teach them Occlumency and Legilimency which all Order members were attempted to be taught although not all could learn the skill, it was a grand communication tool without spoken word if it could be mastered, they could just read each others thoughts without alerting the enemy of their next move. They would start on that the middle of May and work on it until they mastered it or found they couldn't learn it.

Severus weeks had been filled with much of the same bidding for the Dark Lord, potion making, muggle kidnappings and ordered murders in which Severus didn't commit, muggle authorities always seemed to be close by. When the Dark Lord became suspicious of Severus's many failures he paired him with Greyback and yet again the muggle authorities were numerous around their target preventing the murder.

Severus internally gloated knowing that his little silver fox never failed to deliver the proper date and time to Dumbledore to pass along to the Ministry to pass along to the proper muggle official, so far it had worked every time.

The Dark Lord's plans were failing on both sides and he was rather livid and called a meeting a Malfoy Manor. The Death Eaters were filling the Manor quickly as Severus entered, closed minded and stoic, he noticed Bellatrix had Lucius pinned to the wall screaming at him with her wand at his throat. "Where is she, you son of a bitch!? I will kill you! What did you do to her!" Bellatrix screamed.

Lucius swallowed hard, "We had an argument and I hit her and she left without a word in the middle of the night. I have no clue where she went."

Snape could see the fire dancing in Bellatrix's eyes, he knew what her next move was, in a swift movement he pushed Bellatrix to the floor at nailed Lucius as hard as he could in the jaw. Lucius fell to the floor and Snape continued his assault until Lucius had two black eyes, a busted lip and a broken nose. Snape stood and spit on Lucius, "Fucking bastard, even Death Eaters don't beat their wives. Filth."

"My, what seems to be the problem here, my presence has went unnoticed due to your brawl." The cold voice hissed.

"My Lord." Bellatrix beckoned as she made her way over to Voldermort "Lucius, Lucius beat my sister and now she is gone."

Voldermort drew a deep breath and hissed "Lucius, where is you lovely wife?"

Lucius covered in his own blood still showed the fear on his face, "My Lord, I do not know where she has gone. I did hit her in a heated argument and when I woke the next morning she was gone."

"Lucius…..do not lie to me. Where is Narcissa?" Voldermort sneered.

"My Lord, I honestly do not know." Lucius answered in fear.

"Very well." Voldermort said calmly as he raised his wand pointing it at Lucius "Crucio!"

Lucius screamed in agony. The Dark Lord cast the same spell over and over each time asking of Narcissa's whereabouts but Lucius gave the same answer each time; because honestly he didn't know.

Severus stood by stoic on the outside but quivering on the inside. He knew what Lucius had said was probably a lie but beating the hell out of him better than letting Bellatrix kill him and watching the person he somewhat considered a friend writhing in pain, screaming and never giving up the secret was gut wrenching yet admirable.

Voldermort did something he rarely did, he lost interest, "He must be telling the truth. No man would tolerate that kind of pain for a woman. Severus, take him and clean him up quickly."

Severus broke out of his disgusted trance, "Yes, My Lord." Severus helped Lucius up and walked him to the nearest bathroom, he cast spells to minimize the bruising and set Lucius's nose, then helped Lucius clean up the blood and compose himself. "Lucius, I had to. She was going to kill you. I've seen that look in her eyes before." Snape said in a very low tone.

"I know. Thank you." Lucius whispered.

Severus helped Lucius to his designated seat at the endless black table before taking his own. As soon as they were seated the Dark Lord started his usual speech and Severus zoned out feeling a little guilty about what he had done. Voldermort went on and on about each of their failures. They were losing the Ministry even with the help of Rookwood. The giants and werewolves on the exception of Greyback had abandoned their cause. The aurors were proving to be formidable opponents as they were using unforgivables themselves and preventing themselves for being Imperioused. Voldermort was rather livid and Crucio'ed several Death Eaters for various reasons.

Then he looked directly at Severus, "Severus, you are my most disappointing failure. A few short months ago you were one of my best servants, you have failed almost every task I have given to you. It had crossed my mind to punish you, your past service was your only redeeming quality. I thought you were failing on purpose until I sent Greyback and Bellatrix to watch you. You should thank them for reporting back that you have been truthful in your failures. You live because of them."

Severus lost his stoic smugness for a brief second, "My Lord, I do apologize for failing you. I have no excuse."

Voldermort sneered at Severus and continued berating every single Death Eater, even his beloved Bellatrix had failed an assignment. The Dark Lord summarized the meeting with the orders that failures would come with a price, they were all tasked to bring in someone new and they were all to kill any auror on the spot. In a disgusted fluster the Dark Lord left without his usual end of meeting speech.

Severus felt like he could breathe again, he was intentionally hanging around the Manor until Bellatrix left, she was still pissed at Lucius but she was more upset that the Dark Lord had been disappointed with her and left fairly quickly. When the house cleared out Severus sat in the library with Lucius to have a drink before heading home, "Are you going to be alright?"

Lucius bit his bottom lip to keep the fear and tears inside, "Yes, I shall be fine. I shouldn't have hit her. I knew better. Hopefully she will come home soon and forgive me."

Severus looked somber but knew that Narcissa was safe, "Hopefully she will. I think a woman that truly loves you can forgive almost anything."

Lucius gave his famous smirk, "Let us hope so."

Severus had one more drink with Lucius to ensure his health was stable after taking that many torture curses, "I must be on my way. I have a recruit to find." Severus said sarcastically.

Lucius nodded and shook his head, "I'll show you to the door." The pair walked to the door in silence, as Severus stepped out unto the first step Lucius called to him, "I was wrong! Very wrong. You should have fought for her, no matter what kind of blood she has, if you loved her that much you should have taken her and ran before you were branded. I was speaking as a coward and a fool when I told you to push her away. I truly am sorry for the horrible advice. I now know your pain, how have you gotten through it?"

Severus stood stunned at the apology and wasn't sure exactly what to say, he thought for a moment, "I drank a lot. Then one day I got an owl from her. She forgave me, I have yet to answer it. The hope that letter brought was enough to sober me up and give me a chance at maybe someday. On my darkest days I read it, knowing that maybe someday….." Severus telling a bit of a fib.

Lucius nodded, "Hope."

Severus smirked, "Crazy I know. Yes, hope and love. If we have those two things, we can survive this. I'll see you later Lucius." Severus turned on heel and walked out the Manor gates and apparated home knowing a talk with Dumbledore must come quickly.

Within minutes of him being home Severus was sitting with Dumbledore telling him of the Death Eater meeting. He told of every detail from beating the hell out of Lucius to prevent Bellatrix from killing him to their assigned tasks and punishments for failures. "Sir, what am I supposed to do? You asked me to stay in his favor but these failures have him livid and I am supposed to bring someone into our ranks." Severus asked exasperated.

Dumbledore sat and thought before he spoke, "Do what you must Severus, we need to keep you in his good graces. This is an impossible task without having some collateral damage. Go to the seediest bar in Knockturn Alley and find someone who already has the hatred in them, there will be someone who is looking to become Voldermort's next favorite Death Eater. That should put you in good standing for a short while. I cannot ask you to totally defy him and expect you to remain in the inner circle." Dumbledore said sadly realizing what he was telling Severus to do.

"Sir, I don't wish this life on anyone and I really do not wish to kill muggle nor wizard." Severus mumbled.

Dumbledore placed his hand on Severus's shoulder, "I know my boy, but we must pay a price for our mistakes and sadly this is your price. The road to redemption isn't an easy path. You've done wonderful but you must do a few things to please him. Pick them carefully."

Severus simply nodded accepting his fate, he must lure someone to be branded and do the next few tasks without failure.

"I must be on my way if you need nothing else, I have another person to meet." Dumbledore said quietly.

"No sir, that was all. Except…..Narcissa is safe correct?" Severus questioned.

Dumbledore smiled, winked and disapparated.

It was now the first week of June, Severus was unusually beside himself. There was no solution to Lily and her N.E.W.T.S and her new last name. He was also scheduled to take them in private in Dumbledore's office the following week. He had yet to find a recruit to pacify the Dark Lord and he had successfully kidnapped a high-ranking muggle official, handing him over to the Dark Lord himself. He felt sick and disgusted with himself to the point he sent Lily back to Hogwarts and asked her to give him a couple of days to get his head straight. He knew the muggle was tortured and killed and the blood was on his hands just as those who actually took his life.

In his disgusted despair he found himself in a dark and dank pub in Knockturn Alley, he had only been in this particular place once before, he didn't care for it then but it fit his mood that night. He was sitting in a corner with a bottle and a whiskey glass trying to drink away his guilt when a familiar face sat down across from him. Severus raised his eyebrows "I don't recall inviting you to sit." He barked at the boy who couldn't be much younger than himself.

"My apologizes sir, I just wanted to meet you. I remember you from Hogwarts and I know who you are. I'd like to be what you are." The young man said with great confidence.

"I'm afraid I have no clue who you are." Severus stated in a very bored tone knowing the boy was too young to be branded.

"Sorry, my name is Barty Crouch Jr." the boy beamed.

"Barty Crouch Jr. as in your father is the Head of Magical Law Enforcement?" Severus said choking on a drink of whiskey.

"Yes, unfortunately. Well depends on how you look at it. I could be very valuable to your boss." Barty shot back trying to make way.

"Pray tell, how would a school age boy know if I were to have a 'boss' as you say?" Severus questioned.

"I have been looking for one of you. I remember all of you from school. I know who you are. I want in, I will continue to bother any of you I see until one of you takes me to meet him." Barty shot back.

"You wish to meet him, you think you have what it takes to do what would be asked of you? What makes you worthy? Prove your worth and I'll call him." Severus charged knowing the young man would back down.

"Follow me and I'll prove it." Barty said with confidence.

Severus nodded, "Lead the way, this is your show."

Severus followed Barty out of the bar and into an alleyway known for usually being full of women of the night, "I'll be right back." Barty said as if he was off to pick out a puppy. He returned shortly with the ugliest witch Severus had ever seen who was so intoxicated she had no clue where she was. Barty lead them down an empty dark alley, Severus leaned against the wall watching this 'wannabe' knowing he'd stun her or body bind her, he could see and hear Barty teasing the witch who was so drunk she had no clue what she was saying or doing. Then something caught his attention "What is your blood status witch? I pay for no hag that's less than half blood."

The drunken which laughed "I'm a fucking muggle born." Then she cackled.

"That's what I thought you're filth, you disgusting mudblood." Barty then preceded to Crucio her several times; as Severus was about to set in to stop the torture suddenly he heard the words "Avada Kedavra".

"Holy Shit!" Severus murmured stunned.

Barty looked back at Severus in Triumph, "Good enough?"

Severus cleared his throat to contain himself, "Are you still not in school?"

Barty gave a disgusted look, "I left that hell hole. I stayed long enough to take O.W.L.S and packed my shit. I stayed to fulfill my mother's request. I did that and I am free now. Have I earned my meeting yet?"

"I believe you have." Severus said stunned as he called the Dark Lord.

Voldermort appeared "This had better be good." He hissed.

Both men bowed "My Lord."

"Severus whom is this?" The Dark Lord questioned looking the young man over.

"My Lord, this is 'The Barty Crouch Jr.' yes, My Lord that Barty Crouch." Severus informed in a triumphant tone.

"I assume you have found him worthy since you have called me Severus." Voldermort hissed.

Severus arched his eyebrows and pointed at the dead tramp in the alley, "He did that of his own accord. I asked him to prove himself worthy and as you can see he has no problems with unforgivables, My Lord."

Voldermort glided over to the dead woman "Yaaasss! Very excellent work indeed. Is the boy old enough?"

"My Lord, he has left school and approached me, I think he is ready to serve even at his age." Severus answered.

"Yes, I agree. His father is a plus as well. Very good work Severus. Very good." Voldermort looking at Barty like a new toy.

Barty was so excited to be accepted into the ranks of Death Eaters he waived the usual ritual wanting to be branded immediately in the alley. He was the only person Severus had ever seen who took the brand without screaming. 'This little shit is tough.' Severus thought as he watched the boy grit his teeth but never uttered a sound. He was immediately sent to Greyback for further training.

Severus was released to go home with a words of high praise. 'What a fucking relief!' Severus thought 'I didn't have to force anyone, little bastard is twisted enough to want it, I don't have to feel guilty. Thank Merlin!' these were Severus's thoughts as he apparated home made a drink and sent his silver fox to inform Dumbledore of the new member. 'One problem down, now what to do with Lily?' Severus thought. "Insufferable witch will be the death of me." He muttered into his glass. 'How can I get her to take those tests and hide my name?' Severus thought and thought he suddenly laughed "I got it! Why the hell didn't we think of this sooner?! One trip to Knockturn Alley and the problem is solved!"


	44. Chapter 44

The following morning Severus made the trip to Knockturn Alley and acquired the only thing he thought could get around their name problem. He returned home and sent Dumbledore a message that they needed to talk.

Later that afternoon Dumbledore appeared in the guest house, "Severus." He greeted.

Severus smiled, "Albus, I have found a solution if you should allow it."

Dumbledore looked intrigued and confused, "A solution to which problem?"

"Lily's name." Severus smirked.

Dumbledore was now very interested, "What have you came up with?"

Severus stood and left the room, he returned and handed a blue feathered quill to Dumbledore, "This. It's a quick quote quill. I assume you know how they work?"

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, I am aware but you must know I can not permit her to use this for her test."

Severus laughed, "Sir, I do not wish for you to allow her to cheat the enter test, just her name. She can simply dictate her chosen name to it, once it writes Lily Evans, she can conveniently break it and request an anti-cheating quill like everyone else. You simply need to charm it to look like the others and tell her how to dictate to it before the test. She can pretend to hold it as it writes her name. Problem solved."

Dumbledore held the quill looking at it and thinking, "I suppose we have no other choice. The anti-cheating quill will not allow her to write Evans, as that is not true. This will write whatever she says. She must break it somehow before answering any questions though, I hope you bought more than one."

"I bought 12 just in case." Severus laughed.

"Very well. I will inform her of this plan tonight after I charm them to look like the others, she will have to be quick in swapping them out." Dumbledore warned.

"She's quite sneaky when she needs to be, she would never admit it but she is part Slytherin." Severus smiled. Severus gave Dumbledore all 12 quills and bid him goodbye. His mind was finally at ease; she wouldn't be throwing away her future for him.

Lily accepted the agreement of using the banned quill to only write her name on her written tests. She was cursing Severus in her mind for being so damn brilliant. She had planned on leaving that week without taking them but no, her impossible husband found an answer like always.

The nights leading up to the awful N.E.W.T.S, Sirius had become ill suddenly. Lily could hear Remus talking to him through the bathroom door, "Sirius, are you ok?"

"No! I am not bloody fucking ok!" Sirius moaned in agony.

Lily went to Remus and whispered, "How long has he been like this?"

Remus let out a long sigh, "Several nights, I'm starting to get worried. He refuses to go to Madame Pompfrey."

Lily nodded and whispered, "Tell Idgie to hide, I'm going to get her."

Remus looked relieved, "I will, thank you."

Lily went to the hospital wing and returned with the woman who could cure anything it seemed. Madame Pompfrey could hear Sirius's moaning before she even entered their quarters, "Why have you two waited so long to fetch me?"

Remus and Lily looked guilty and ashamed, "He wouldn't let us."

"Rubbish!" the woman barked as she walked over to the bathroom door bellowing, "Sirius Black! You open this door at once!"

"I'm fine ma'am. I just ate some bad food at dinner." Sirius yelled back not wanting to let her in.

"Sirius, do not add a punishment for lying on top of this now open this door at once!" Sirius grudgingly opened the door and Pompfrey entered.

Lily and Remus could hear bits and pieces of their conversation and couldn't help but quietly giggle.

The healer came out of the bathroom looking at the pair trying to hide their amusement, "If I didn't know better I'd swear this was the work of Severus Snape! I have seen this brand of revenge before." She said shaking her head and marching off to the hospital wing to retrieve the antidote.

Lily and Remus looked at each other wide eyed, "No, he wouldn't have!" Remus said.

Lily stifled a giggle, "Well, Sirius did taunt him right before we left at Easter….."

Remus rolled his eyes then put his face in his hand mumbling, "What are we going to do with those two?"

Lily laughed, "Love them. What choice do we have?"

"I'll stay here with Sirius, you go get in touch with Snape and see if he will tell you the source of the shitting potion he has obviously snuck in here." Remus said exasperated.

Lily laughed, "If I must." Winking at Remus as she left for her private quarters to go through the vanishing cabinet. As she stepped out of the cabinet in the guest house she found her husband sound asleep. She smiled thinking to herself 'Not much longer love.' She sat on his side of the bed gently shaking him saying his name as to not startle him.

He woke in a fog, "Lily! What's wrong?" he said in a panicked tone.

Lily arched an eyebrow, "Well sweet husband of mine. Someone has slipped Sirius a shitting potion that is keeping all of us awake at night. Would you happen to know anything about that?"

Severus immediately burst into laughter, he had honestly forgotten about it with everything else going on. Lily looked on knowing his laughter meant he was guilty as sin, "What is it in Sev? I need some damn sleep!"

Severus still chuckling, "You can sleep here."

Lily narrowed her eyes, "It's been 3 days! Where is it!"

Severus looking innocent, "Where is what love?"

"Severus Snape, I know it was you, what the hell did you put it in?! He's suffered trust me!" Lily snapped.

Severus gave in, "Fine, fun sucking insufferable witch! It's in the bottle of whiskey he hides between the mattress and box springs!"

Lily shook her head and giggled, "You are such an ass. I love you. I need to go now I have a bottle of whiskey to throw out." Severus gave a pouting face. "Don't look at me like that, if you would have given me my way I'd of never returned. Now I have to cheat on a test in two days thanks to you. I'm going back to Hogwarts. Love you." Lily said as she stepped into the vanishing cabinet.

Severus fell back on the bed laughing again, 'Stupid ass.' He thought between laughs.

Lily returned and threw out the tainted whiskey. Madame Pompfrey cured Sirius and they finally had a peaceful nights sleep the night before those damn tests started. As they had hoped and by Lily's promise each written test went to plan. Every test sent to the Ministry carried the name Lily Evans. Severus snuck into the castle and took his as well, he would now be considered a graduate of Hogwarts. The four of them did remarkably well on their N.E.W.T.S considering their vast extra training.

The days after the test seemed to drag on forever. Severus asked that they stay until graduation. They agreed to stay under the agreement that there would be one hell of a party graduation night. Severus agreed to their terms even Lily's secret term that the 'children' be let into the Manor for the party.

Graduation day finally came they were all packing quickly, one last sweep of the quarters and all deemed they had everything. Lily had them place their things in her empty 'wardrobe' before they headed down to the grounds for the ceremony. "You guys go on to the common room, I need just a moment." She said with a smile. They nodded and left. Lily called Idgie, when she came she instructed her to get into the cabinet with her. "Idgie, I don't have time to help you take all of this where it belongs now, if you will please take Sirius's and Remus's things to their room and you stay here. This is your home now. We will be here shortly. Shelby is here somewhere get her to help you. I must go." Lily smiled at her and went back through the cabinet. She stepped out of it and looked at it adoringly knowing it was probably the last time she would ever need it. She took a moment to look around the now empty quarters that had held their memories and secrets. Reminiscing she let a tear fall, "Let's get this over with." She said to herself then walked to the common room.

"We walked in here hand in hand and that's how we are leaving." Remus stated putting his hand out to grab hers.

Lily smiled "Together."

Remus holding back tears, "Together, always love. Let's go."

The three of them marched through the castle to the grounds hand in hand like they owned it just as they had six months ago. They reached the spot by the lake where the graduation ceremony was to be, taking seats together.

Their row was fairly empty on the exception of Samantha and James sitting at the other end. It had taken two months of silence before James had properly apologized and meant it to Sirius and Remus. They accepted the apology but the friendship never returned to its former glory. Samantha forgave James afterward and their engagement was back on. Lily and Samantha had developed something of a friendship over the last few months but nothing to be compared to Sirius and Remus.

The trio had earned quite the name for themselves in the past six months and they were pretty much left alone. Classmates either loved them but were afraid of their pranks or of the punishments that came with being too friendly them or they loathed them. They pretty much stayed to themselves and they preferred it that way.

Within minutes of Dumbledore starting the ceremony there were only two empty seats left, one next to Sirius and one next to Lily. They giggled at the sight. "You'd think people were afraid of us." Lily whispered.

"They are!" Sirius giggled back.

Dumbledore took the stage and began his speech and as he did a tall dark haired man, dressed all in black, took the seat next to Lily. Lily was more than shocked when she looked up and seen her husband sitting beside her, "Severus!" she whispered.

He looked at her smugly, "Yes, can I help you?"

Wide-eyed Lily asked in a whisper, "What the hell are you doing here!"

Severus with his arrogance in full mode, never looking at her quietly said, "Did you really think I'd miss this. Besides, I got here late and there was no where else to sit."

Lily narrowed her eyes, "Sneaky asshole."

Severus let a small smile form and whispered, "I love you too."

Dumbledore began calling names in alphabetical order; Sirius was first to go up. Acting as gentlemanly as he could he took his diploma and started off the stage, but in true Sirius form; he stopped dead in his tracks, turned away from the crowd, threw his robes over his head, pulled down his pants and wiggled his bare ass to the entire crowd.

The crowd was filled with gasps, laughter and disgust because little to Sirius's knowledge he had a very large hickey on his left ass cheek. Remus was blood red but cackling. Lily laughed at her moron friend and Severus muttered "Fucking idiot." Dumbledore just shook his head and Minerva looked like her head was about to explode as she attempted to get Sirius off the stage.

Eventually the crowd quieted down and Dumbledore began again, "Now that we have all seen Mr. Black's bare and rather bruised backside we shall continue." Dumbledore called names with no more outrageous outburst; he called "Lily Evans" giving a wink.

Lily stood to walk to the stage, as she started past Severus he grabbed her hand, she looked directly in his eyes and he thought 'I love you! I am so proud of you Madame Snape.' Lily could hear the thought, she smiled as she looked at him, 'Thank you. I love you. Crazy ass husband.' Severus smiled at her thought and let go of her hand.

Lily took her diploma and walked off the stage with a flood of relieve and happy tears. It was finally over; she could go home to her husband and start the next chapter of their lives. Severus not really thinking or caring who seen him, stood and helped his crying wife into her seat before returning to his own.

Dumbledore went down the list until he said, "Remus Lupin." Lily and Sirius made as much cheering noise as possible just to make him blush. Remus was still red faced as he took his seat, "Bastards." He mumbled.

"Now we just have to finish this list and go home." Lily whispered.

Severus smirked knowing his wife would shortly be shocked into oblivion. Dumbledore called even more names without the trio paying attention until he said, "Severus Snape." Severus smirked as he stood not looking at the three looking at him confused and slack jawed. The crowd itself seemed shocked as the student population knew he had left school in the middle of the term.

As Severus reached Dumbledore, Dumbledore looked to the crowd and announced, "Severus Snape, continued his studies independently and had the highest N.E.W.T scores of the entire graduating class." The small tear streaked faced woman in the back started the clapping but it grew until Severus had a standing ovation. Severus with pink cheeks looked at the crowd shook his head and quietly returned to his seat.

"Why didn't you tell me!" Lily hissed in a whisper.

"I wanted to surprise you." Severus whispered back without looking at her.

Lily wanted to be mad but she was so shocked and proud of him she couldn't, not thinking she hugged him. Severus looked a little stunned then thought 'Hell, we were childhood friends. Everyone knows that.' Then kissed the top of her head that was buried in his chest.

The graduation ceremony ended and everyone gathered in small groups. Lily found her parents who were beaming with pride. Sirius and Remus followed Lily staying a short ways back due to not having family present. Lily's parents invited them into their circle even with Sirius's little stunt. Mr. Evans, even joked, "I know now why you and Lily didn't work out." Mrs. Evans slapped his shoulder and hushed him. Sirius and Remus looked at each other and smiled, "Sir, you would be correct. Lily is where she belongs and so are we."

Severus went to Eileen who was still a blubbering mess. "Thanks for coming mum." Severus said quietly.

"Severus Snape, I wouldn't have missed this for the world. I am so proud of you." Eileen managed through sobs.

Severus chuckled, "Mum, people graduate school everyday."

Eileen gave that look, "I have but one child. I only get to do this once. I will cry and be proud all I wish! It is my right as a mother!"

Severus smiled, "I thought telling you might buy me some forgiveness for that other thing you missed. Lily didn't even know until my name was called." He said in a whisper.

Eileen sniffled, "Maybe, just a little." Followed by a smile.

Mrs. Evans caught sight of the tall black haired boy who her daughter had grown up with and she had been informed that they were now dating; she excused herself and walked over to Severus and Eileen introducing herself. She made small talk of wanting to have a get together and told Eileen how much she thought of Severus and was thrilled when Lily told her they were dating. Eileen and Severus kept the talk small not wanting to screw up the conversation they had failed to yet have with the Evans family. Mrs. Evans bid her goodbyes, but not before she said "Eileen it was wonderful meeting you! I can't wait until we can help plan their big day!"

Eileen put on her best fake smile and said, "I can't wait either!" looking at Severus with evil dancing in her eyes.

"Sorry mum." Severus muttered.

The crowd thinned down to just a few people and Dumbledore approached Severus and Eileen "Congratulations, well done."

"Thank you sir, for everything." Severus said genuinely.

"You are most welcome. I just wanted you to know, I am moving Lily's 'wardrobe' into the Room of Requirement. You can still get here should you need to." Dumbledore winked.

They bid their family's goodbye and were finally able to go home knowing they hopefully wouldn't have to return unless they wanted to visit. "Let's get this party started." Severus said as he winked at Lily giving the all clear to apparate into Prince Manor with Sirius and Remus.


	45. Chapter 45

The look of confusion and surprise on Sirius and Remus's face when they landed in the foyer of Prince Manor was near priceless. Severus and Lily giggled at each other.

"The bar is this way guys." Lily said nonchalantly like she had been there 100 times before.

The baffled couple followed slowly taking in their surroundings. Sirius found his voice first, "Where are we? Did you rent out a house or something?"

Severus and Lily both laughed. "No, I didn't rent it. I own it." Severus said as if it were nothing.

"How?" Remus asked still taking in the Manor in amazement.

"It came with Shelby." Severus said in a bored tone.

Sirius and Remus were so confused they weren't sure what to ask to get the answer they were looking for. "I assume then you're saying it's not our business?" Sirius asked.

Lily gave Severus a look of 'just tell them'. Severus drew a deep breath; "I come from a line of pureblood wizards by the name of Prince. My mother was disowned when she married my muggle father. When my mother left my sorry, abusive muggle father my grandfather swooped in to save us. He lavished us in gifts and houses and cars. He died some time ago. He left my mum with a large amount of money and I got this Manor and Shelby."

"So you've had this big ass house the whole time and you choose to live in the little one?" Sirius asked baffled.

"That little one is the guest house. We are on the same property. This big ass house is quite overwhelming when one is alone often." Severus said flatly.

"Yeah I imagine it would." Remus mused aloud.

"You know we can all live here if guys want to." Lily said hopefully.

Remus laughed, "Are you sure you have the room for us?"

Severus smirked, "I think we might could manage. I think there's at least one empty room upstairs."

"Why didn't we ever see the house before when we were outside." Sirius asked confused.

"That is another matter in itself. How about tonight we just celebrate our accomplishments and tomorrow we will discuss living arrangements." Severus said in a tone of finality.

That night was filled with vast amounts of alcohol, games, memories, and pranks. Somewhere close to dawn they decided they needed sleep. They all started up the stairs, Severus slurred to Remus and Sirius, "Any room on the left, take your pick."

The drunk and far to frisky couple staggered down, the hall on the left not even caring which room they ended up in, whisper yelling all the dirty and obscene things they were about to do to each other.

Severus steered Lily to the right shaking his head at what he overheard, "This way Madame Snape!"

Lily laughed and in her drunken fog asked, "And just what are we going to do down this way?" followed by a giggle.

Severus gave a seductive look, "Your favorite thing, sex in that damn tub!"

"Oh, then by all means let us go and complete this mission." Lily trying to sound serious.

Severus took her at her word, quickly picking her up and carrying her bridal style into their bathroom and proceeded to strip her and himself of clothing; then they spent the next hour surrounded by the perfect water simply enjoying each other in every way knowing they would never have to be apart like that again. It started as drunken heated sex but ended up being soft gentle love making before they found themselves sated and extremely tired, finding themselves finally curled up in the middle of the massive king size bed.

Sirius and Remus had no plans on being quite, they had spent the last six months sneaking around and being quiet for Lily's sake, not tonight. Tonight they planned on trying all the things they had been teasing each other about over the last six months. They cast a silencing charm and spent the night in heated, kinky, dirty and very loud fucking. It couldn't be called anything else; there was no other word to describe the things they did. By early morning they were exhausted, satisfied and learned they had found something they both rather enjoyed.

Lily awoke around noon wrapped in green satin sheets, feeling the love of her life spooned against her back. She smiled to herself thinking of the life they would have someday, as soon as Voldermort falls we can start our life, she thought. Lily let out frustrated huff thinking about the wait that had no time limit.

Severus startled her when he kissed her neck and asked, "What's wrong love?"

Lily not wanting to spoil the day replied, "Nothing."

"Witch, I may not know a lot about women but I did learn from my dear mother that 'Nothing' is always something. Now, try again." Severus said unrelenting.

Lily sighed, "I was just thinking about not knowing what's coming and how long we may have to wait."

"Wait on what love? What is it you want that you feel you can't have?" Severus asked genuinely concerned.

"Well for starters, no one knows we are married but us, your mum and Dumbledore. Outside of Order work I assume I will be asked to stay hidden here and it's frustrating not knowing when Voldermort will fall and we can live our lives without fear." Lily said in a pout.

Severus wrapped his hands around Lily and pulled her as tight to him as he could, "I'm sorry love. I promise we are working on it. I can't risk your safety. We can tell your parents if you wish." Severus chuckled. "I assume we need to do that quickly considering you never went home last night and have no intention to go back. Lily, I will fix this love, please give me time."

Lily rolled onto her back so she could look at Severus, "Let's tell them today. Like now. Let's tell them we used a port key and went to America to Las Vegas and got married at a wedding chapel there; because we were totally smashed and that we will have a wedding soon. I want to get this over with. I don't want to have to worry about anything but us. We will tell them not to tell anyone especially Petunia until we have a proper wedding, they'll buy that. Mum loves you anyways, she'll take it like Eileen did, happy but pissed she missed it."

Severus smiled down at her, then kissed her, "Can we eat first?"

Lily sighed, "Fine, but hurry!"

Severus and Lily rushed through a quick brunch and left a note for Sirius and Remus that they would return shortly. They apparated a few doors down from Lily's parents house.

Severus suddenly felt nervous, "Are you sure they aren't going to kill us?"

Lily laughed as she grabbed his hand and started toward the house to tell the biggest lie she had ever told to her parents, "Oh, they won't kill me, you eh….." Lily smiled as Severus paled.

"That's not funny!" Severus bit.

Lily laughed, "Come on, it won't be any worse than the wrath of Eileen Prince! Trust me!"

Lily and Severus entered her parents home and told the very large fib about the planned port key trip to America for a graduation trip and their drunken marriage the night before. As Lily predicted her mother was very hurt she missed the special day but calmed when Lily informed her that there would be a grand wedding in the future and her and Mrs. Prince could help with all the planning. Then Lily informed her parents that she would be living with Severus and she was happy. The Evans were heartbroken to see their baby girl grow up so quickly but the happiness etched on her face was something they dared not argue with.

Mr. Evans had a talk with Severus about how he would provide for Lily and questioned if they had a proper home to stay in. Severus couldn't help but internally laugh, he gave a small smile and explained his inheritance and that they had everything they could possibly need or want and that money and housing wouldn't be a problem. Lily and Severus, after several hours, had her parents calmed and truly happy for them. Before they left to return to the Manor Lily reminded her parents that it was an absolute must that this be kept a secret, "I want it to look real on my big day. Please just tell everyone I have a flat in London with friends." Lily added with that infamous emerald-eyed pout. Her parents agreed that they would tell no one, not even her bitchy sister. Severus and Lily gave their goodbyes and were back in the Manor quickly.

"Feel any better now love?" Severus asked hopefully.

Lily gave a small smile, "Yes, a little. I'll never like having to hide this, at least now both of our parents know."

Severus pulled her to him and kissed her, "I love you, I wouldn't hide you unless I feared for you, you understand that right?"

Lily looked up to her husband, "I know why, doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Fair enough, let's see if our children are awake." Severus said as he took her hand leading her to the kitchen figuring they would find Sirius and Remus in there.

"Dear Merlin, what the hell happened to you two last night?" Severus asked shocked at seeing the two shirtless men sitting at the island in the kitchen eating a very late lunch.

Remus went pink but not his usual crimson, he was slowly getting used to being caught in these embarrassing situations. Sirius unfazed still chewing a mouthful of food, "Remus beat the hell out of me last night because I wouldn't give him any."

Remus shook his head and laughed, "Bastard."

"Did you two really get into a fight?" Lily screeched.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Lily love, no we did not. We took advantage of not having to be quiet or worry about getting caught. We tried 'new' things."

Lily blushed, "Oh my Gods, I didn't need to know that." Severus laughed at his wife that never learned when to stop asking questions, while sipping his tea. "I'm not healing those bruises, if you two want to do…. whatever caused all those whelps and bruises that's fine but I'm not healing them!" Lily said defiant.

Sirius smirked, "But Lily….. they really hurt." Sirius whined.

Lily turned on heel, "No! You heal all self inflicted wounds and I don't want to know how you got them either!" Sirius, Remus and Severus broke into laughter at Lily's stance on the matter.

"When you two masochist finish with your food, we really do need to talk, and for Lily's sake go put shirts on." Severus smirked as he grabbed Lily's hand and led her into the sitting room. "Calm down love, they are consenting adults. We must take them as they are, kinks and all." Severus said with a chuckle.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him, "I know, it was just a shock, they've been so discreet with it, that was shocking. I never knew they liked…." Lily groaned and blushed thinking about what they must have done to cause the perfectly rectangular striped bruises covering both of them.

Severus smiled, "I'm sure it was. I'm sure a lot of it was for your sake. Should they choose to stay in the Manor they have an entire wing to do as they wish and we will never hear it. Don't forget the nights we snuck here and left them in the guest house."

"I know, I'll get used to it, it was just a shock to see them like that." Lily said defeated.

Sirius and Remus entered the room quietly, now wearing shirts. "We've been talking and if it's a problem we can stay at the guest house, if that makes you more comfortable Lils." Sirius said sheepishly.

"Oh, Merlin! No! That's not what I want at all. I was just shocked is all. I'll get used to it." Lily said apologetically.

"Are you sure?" Remus questioned.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm sorry. I was shocked is all. I had no clue you two were into THAT." Lily said with a small chuckle.

"So I assume the two of you would like to stay in the Manor then?" Severus asked with arched eyebrows.

Sirius and Remus looked to each other, "We thought it may be best, considering you have to leave at all hours. We would already be here with Lily." Remus replied softly.

"I was actually hoping you would. It would make me feel better knowing she's not alone." Severus said relieved. "Now, I must explain a few things to you. I need you to pay attention and take this serious." Severus spent the next 20 minutes explaining the Fidelus charm on both houses and how it worked. They understood they were to commit the address to memory and never say it or write it and never bring anyone there. "I know to the Order it will look like your being antisocial but they can not know of this property. I went to great lengths to keep the Ministry from knowing this house has changed hands. Know that by trusting you with this I am trusting you with the only thing that means a damn thing to me. Lily! This house is her safe haven, please don't fuck this up." Severus pleaded.

Sirius and Remus looked as though they had been given the most important mission of their lives, "We won't fail. We promise." They chimed.

"Now, I have one more thing to discuss with you and then we can move on to other things." Severus stood and left the room, only to return with several pictures. Severus handed the pictures over to the confused roommates he had just acquired.

"This is the wedding we had!" Sirius sang in amusement flicking through the pictures with Remus; both laughing and chuckling at the hilarious pictures.

Lily looked to Severus confused, Severus just nodded and winked. When Sirius and Remus finished with the pictures they had been handed Severus cleared his throat and looked dead at Sirius, "Did you do it on purpose?"

Sirius knitted his eyebrows, "Do what on purpose?" Severus had to know, the months of curiosity were killing him and he knew even if Sirius had learned occlumency his guards would be down, Severus took a quick peak into Sirius's memories. It was all a drunken fog, he did think the incantation to make the vow but was so drunk he had no clue it took. Severus pulled out of Sirius's thoughts and handed him the final picture, the picture Shelby took that caught the vow ribbon sealing their marriage.

Sirius and Remus looked at it confused and shocked, "Holy shit, does this mean?" Sirius asked baffled.

Severus said nothing, he picked up Lily's left hand and removed the disillusionment charm on her ring then removed his. Then looked at the two very shocked Gryffindors. "Mr. Black, you performed a real wedding that night, we have had to hide it ever since. These rings are heirlooms that cannot be removed until death. It has taken a lot of work to hide this and get her through school." Severus said in a flat tone.

Sirius was shaken, he had never meant for it to take, "I am so sorry. Is there anything to I can do?"

Severus gave Sirius a stern look, "Yes, there is, as a matter of fact! Since you have bonded us for life in your drunken stunt, you will bond us for life in front of our family and friends, after you help take down the Dark Lord."

"You're not pissed at me?" Sirius asked unsure looking at both Snape and Lily.

They both gave up the charade and laughed, "We were never pissed, our mothers on the other hand are a different matter. Thank you by the way. It has been hard but I wouldn't of had it any other way. I meant everything I said that night and so did Lily." Severus answered sincerely.

"Well this all makes a lot more sense now. I wondered what would possess Dumbledore to give Lily as many privileges as she had." Remus chuckled.

"Yes, he knew and he and my mother helped conceal it from the Ministry. No one can know until the Dark Lord falls though. Outside of this house she is still an Evans, inside it, she is Madame Snape." Severus said with an arched eyebrow.

Sirius and Remus nodded, "Well, Congratulations!" they chimed and then laughed.

Lily took a deep breath and quickly said, "Well since we are telling all our secrets, I have all my memories back. I know all about the attack and the baby. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want apologies. I have made peace with it. I have visited my son's grave and I know he is ok. Please don't." Lily said as she put up her hand to silence her friends who looked horrified. "Don't. I made peace with it. I'm telling you because I don't like secrets."

Sirius sat with his head down refusing to look at Lily out of guilt and shame, he did mumble to Snape, "Does this mean the vow is now void?"

Severus thought before answering, "Depending on how it was worded I would assume, yes, the vow would be void now since she knows."

Remus looked at Lily and she could see tears welling up in his eyes, he had always wondered what happened to the baby and thought of him often but never dared to voice it to anyone, "Can I ask what his name is?"

Lily nodded, "Eros. Eros Siempre Snape. It means 'Love Always Snape' in English." Lily said as she smiled at her husband.

Remus let the tear fall that he couldn't hold back anymore, "When you get ready, I would really like to visit him, if you two don't mind."

Lily gave a small sad smile, "I'm not ready yet but in time, yes you can go with us to visit him."

Remus smiled sadly accepting her future promise.

Severus hating the tone in the room, "Well lets get you two sorted into your permanent quarters. I suggest the room at the end of the hall. It's the largest and has a private bath but which ever suits you is fine by us." The four of them stood to leave the room, Severus hung back and waited on Remus to start to pass. He put his hand on his shoulder, "Hey, you got a minute?"

Remus shook his head yes, "What's up?"

Severus suddenly felt awkward, he hardly knew how to ask but knew Remus was the one and only person he wanted to make this request from, "Well, outside of Lily you were my first true friend, a person I trust with everything without fear. I never thought I would be asking this question at all much less to you but I was wondering if you would be my best man at our wedding when the time comes?"

Remus went wide eyed and chuckled in shock, "I would be honored to be your best man, on one condition."

Severus huffed thinking this would be something to do with a lifetime supply of Wolfsbane, which he already had planned on supplying anyways, "What's the condition?"

Remus smiled at him, "That we all make it out of this war alive, especially you. She can't live without you. I've seen her try, she's not the same person without you, she needs you. Remember that. There is no one on Earth that loves you like she does. Stay alive for her and I'll wear that fucking pink tux again!"

Severus was stunned at the selflessness of the request, with a smirk he put out his hand to shake in which Remus took, "Deal!"


	46. Chapter 46

The four of them settled into the Manor and established a routine of sorts. The summer went by fairly smoothly. Remus, Sirius and Lily still had training to do for the Order before they were allowed into the field. Their days were spent learning all necessary things to catch and identify Death Eaters. They were filled in on past events and taught even more things to help them stay safe and alive. When they were all together in the Manor it seemed like life as usual. Dinner, talking, the occasional prank, drinking and sometimes teasing about forgotten silencing charms, obvious love bites or other various bruising in some cases the next morning.

Idgie and Shelby had fussed at each other in the beginning over who was in charge of what, seeing as how they served two different masters. Lily and Sirius finally had enough and assigned them each chores and the two little elves found a happy middle ground. The Manor soon ran smoothly with both elves feeling like they had proper masters and jobs.

Severus continued to play double agent throughout the summer and into the fall. He would play the good and faithful servant to the Dark Lord and then report everything to Dumbledore. Lucius so far had kept his end of the deal as all of his information seemed to match everything that Severus told. Lucius gained enough trust from Dumbledore to be allowed to see Narcissa, but was still not told exactly where she was. Severus and Lucius's services were kept a secret from all Order members outside of Lily, Remus and Sirius; Severus had a heated argument with Dumbledore about all of them needing to know who the others were so no one accidentally injured an ally.

When the training period ended and the trio were full-fledged Order members; they also had a very long and never ending argument about Lily being allowed to fight in the war against Death Eaters. In the end Lily and Dumbledore won, Severus had to deal with the fear and trusted Lucius to help keep her safe should their paths ever cross. There was some tension in the house when the trio finally seen first hand what Severus had been doing and what the war was really about. They had been told of all of the events happening in the war but seeing it and hearing it was two completely different things. Severus wracked with guilt was once again apologizing and begging for forgiveness but was told they understood and they knew he was doing all he could to help end it.

They now understood why Severus drank so much, it helped numb the pain and ease their worries. Alcohol was one thing the Manor never ran out of. On Eros's birthday Lily and Severus agreed to allow Remus to come along with them and Sirius asked if he could come as well. The four of them visited the tiny grave. Sirius and Remus stayed at the gate and gave Snape and Lily a few minutes with their son alone. When it was time Lily motioned them over and they finally got to say what they needed to the baby they never got to meet. They left little trinkets on the grave and sang happy birthday to the little headstone.

Christmas morning tradition turned into visiting Eros before anything else. They were more like family on this visit; Sirius and Remus asked before they apparated if they could call themselves 'Uncle'. Lily smiled and said "Of course!" They once again placed their gifts and talked of how much they missed him, before they left, each of them in tears.

The holidays were spent like always, in a drunken mess. It was the few times during the year they could find any reason to cut loose, laugh and forget what tomorrow might bring. It was a very dark time for all of them. Their innocence was no more the first night that they went into real battle with Death Eaters and Severus could no longer hide the truth of the things he had done in the Dark Lords name. Laughter at the Manor was rare but the friendships and marriage stayed strong as they always reminded each other they were all working toward a common goal and hopefully it would be over soon.

By the time they entered 1979 they had all faced each other at some point in a battle, they did their best to not injure each other. Legilimency had proved to be the saving grace many times, as they could read each other's thoughts and let the other know their next move. Severus would come home fuming about Lily's minor injuries and Lily would retort back with something along the lines of you and Lucius can't end this war alone. They would come home bruised, battered, cut, and hexed but all of them somehow always managed to walk away with minor injuries.

Their lives seemed like a never-ending cycle of Death Eater meetings, Order meetings, Dark Lord bidding, Order work and walking the tight rope of a being a spy and protecting the spies. This was their daily life until it all went wrong.

The Dark Lord called a meeting at Malfoy Manor ordering certain high-ranking officials inside the Ministry be killed or Imperioused. The entire plan was to be executed in one night, September 1, 1979. The Dark Lord thought that Dumbledore and the Order would be distracted that particular night due to the start of the school year. They were to be paired off and sent to each targets house to either kill or Imperious them. The one night blitz would leave the Order in confusion, according to the Dark Lord.

Severus and Lucius both reported all targets and the date the instant the meeting was over and the Dark Lord left. The Order was ahead of the game, thanks to the information provided by the two defected Death Eaters, by hiding all of the Dark Lords targets and laying in wait for the Death Eaters they knew were on their way that night.

The Death Eaters were clueless to the traitors among them and walked right into the trap laid for them. Severus had everything planned out to be at the same location as Lily but in a last minute move the Dark Lord switched the teams around, Lucius and Dolohov ended up being sent to the house Lily and Moody were waiting in. Severus was looking pleadingly at Lucius silently begging him to protect Lily at all costs. Lucius seemed to understand as he nodded right before the teams broke apart and apparated to their designated locations.

Severus and Bellatrix found themselves dueling Sirius and Frank Longbottom. Severus took the first shot at Sirius to keep Bellatrix off him and hoped Frank could hold his own against her. Bellatrix was cruel and calculated and loved playing with her prey, Severus knew this would buy them some time, so to make it all look real he and Sirius were reading each others thoughts and managed to make it look good in front of Bellatrix. Severus even sent the killing curse toward Sirius but of course had told him through thought to hit the floor before he ever cast it. Bellatrix had grown tired of playing with Frank and Severus could see it, in his mind he screamed at Sirius to Crucio her. Sirius flinched not wanting to cast an unforgivable but Severus reminded him that Frank would be dead in seconds if he didn't. Sirius was half-heartedly casting the curse, which wasn't working, until Bellatrix hit Frank with Crucio again. Severus reminded him that could be Remus right now; being tortured by a different Death Eater. That thought was all it took to change Sirius's mind, he quickly stunned Severus, who made it a lot more dramatic than it actually was. Then turned to Bellatrix cast the unforgivable and meant it with every fiber in his being. Bellatrix was flaying on the floor screaming in pain as her own cousin taunted her, it was like something in Sirius broke, he took out every emotion he had on her and was laughing at her pain. This war was starting to get to them all but Sirius was unhinged in that moment and Severus knew he couldn't let him kill Bellatrix. Severus stunned Sirius to break the curse on Bellatrix and quickly rushed to the unconscious witch and disapparated them back to Malfoy Manor.

As Severus entered Malfoy Manor carrying Bellatrix, he quickly found that all the Death Eater teams had returned on the exception of Lucius and Dolohov. The Dark Lord was in a livid rant of disbelief and anger at being set up. Every team had failed and a few Death Eaters had been captured and probably on their way to Azkaban by now. He was already losing the Ministry and this was another blow to set them back. The sight of Severus and Bellatrix caught him off guard, it was a well-known secret that the Dark Lord often entertained himself with Bellatrix and it was obvious that Bellatrix was obsessed with the Dark Lord. "Severus! What happened?" The Dark Lord hissed as he flew to them.

"My Lord it was a set up. She was hit by the Cruciatus Curse, I got us out before we both were killed." Severus said as convincingly as he could.

The Dark Lord was now hissing orders at different people to care for Bellatrix and to find out how the Order knew his plans, hitting anyone that flinched or didn't move quick enough with a torture curse. After Bellatrix was removed from his lap and carried off, Severus managed to stand.

The Dark Lord looked at him and done something he had never heard before, "Thank you for not leaving her Severus, any of these other cowards would have left her for dead or Azkaban." Voldermort hissed before walking away in a fury.

Severus had gotten out of that mess by saving Bellatrix but couldn't calm the fear eating at him that something had gone wrong. Lucius and Dolohov still hadn't returned and that could only mean something terrible. Severus paced the Manor worrying about Lily, wondering what could be keeping Lucius. He had no way of contacting anyone who could answer him, all he could do is pace and worry and pretend his worry was for Lucius.

When Lucius and Dolohov approached the house Moody and Lily were ready. Lily of course was expecting Severus so seeing Lucius was a bit of a shock, she whispered to Moody, "I got blondie." Knowing she needed to protect Lucius as much as he needed to protect her. Moody didn't know they were on the same team; Lily was Lucius's only safety net.

Moody nodded and attacked Dolohov as soon as he entered the house. Lily carefully nodded her head backward as she threw random hexes at Lucius missing him every time. He played the same game as he followed her. They finally ended up in a room out of the view of the other two and Lily mouthed 'Where is Sev?' Lucius rolled his eyes and mouthed back 'The Dark Lord'. Lily was visibly worried now not knowing who or what Severus was up against. Lucius caught her attention and mouthed to her 'Stay close to me!' Lily nodded as she continued to throw hexes and jinxes at the walls to break things to make it sound as though they were really dueling. Suddenly they heard the screams that could only be Moody under the Cruciatus Curse. They stopped their dueling and looked at each other wide eyed.

In an instant Dolohov appeared in the doorway of the room they were in "Lovely little piece of ass you found to play with Lucius." Dolohov said as he eyed Lily.

Lucius sneered and said, "She's a filthy fucking mudblood. I wouldn't lower myself to such standards."

"I will." Dolohov said as he stalked toward Lily his intent written all over his face.

Lily quickly stunned Dolohov and looked to Lucius who was in a panic himself. Dolohov quickly recovered and the rage in his eyes told Lucius all he needed to know; as if moving in slow motion Dolohov made a slashing movement with his wand but not before Lily silently cast Langlock, the purple flash still came. Lucius said, "I love you Cissy." right before stepping in front of Lily taking the curse Dolohov sent. Lucius took the curse to the chest and fell to the ground without a word. In a fit of rage and fear Lily Crucio'ed the wide eyed and confused Dolohov until he was left unconscious. Lily could only think of one thing to do and sent her fox patronus for help.

Order members were there within minutes, they found Moody and Dolohov knocked out and Lily crying with Lucius Malfoy's head in her lap. Dolohov and Moody were taken away quickly without question but Lily refused to let anyone near Lucius. She demanded for Dumbledore and threatened to hex anyone who came close to her or Lucius.

Dumbledore arrived shortly clearing the house of all Order members, refusing to answer any questions regarding Lucius Malfoy or why Lily would be protecting him. Dumbledore ordered Lily to go home with the promise he would take care of Lucius and report his condition to her as soon as possible after she explained what Lucius had done for her.

Remus's mission went smoothly as the Dark Lord must have sent idiots to the house they were protecting. The first Death Eater through the door was hit with a body bind and the other disapparated before the first one hit the floor. Sirius returned a short while later telling Remus what had happened at his house. Sirius admitted to feeling disgusted at himself for what he had done to Bellatrix. Remus simply kissed him and reassured him that it was a war and she deserved a lot worse than what she got.

When Lily and Snape didn't return within what seemed like a normal time frame they started getting worried. Sirius knew Snape was fine when he left but they couldn't know what may have happened when he returned defeated. They agreed that Snape was probably still dealing with the Dark Lord but couldn't understand what was keeping Lily.

They were about ready to send a patronus asking about her and Moody, when Lily landed in the foyer of Prince Manor. She fell to the floor in a blubbering mess; they let out a sigh of relief but knew something had gone horribly wrong. They knew better than to try to force her up when she came home like this. They stood near her and checked her over for injuries without bothering her. "Is Sev here?" Lily choked out as she stood to head to the bar. She received a "Not yet." In unison, furthering her worry, after many tears, a long silence filled with whiskey and Sirius confirming Severus left uninjured from their battle, Lily finally told Sirius and Remus what happened to Lucius.

"He'll be fine Lily. Stop worrying, he's in the best hands possible." Remus tried reassuring her.

"He took that fucking curse for me. He has a wife that loves him too. He's helping us just like Severus is! He's not some dickhead Death Eater like the rest of them. He threw himself in front of me to keep me from being killed. I owe him!" Lily spat in anger and disgust at herself.

"We will do whatever we can for him as soon as we find out where he is. We just have to wait on Dumbledore to tell us what he's got planned. Lils he's still a Death Eater and the Dark Lord will want to know what happened to him." Sirius tried to level with her.

"That's not fucking good enough dammit!" Lily retorted still pissed at herself for not doing better in battle.

The trio sat at the bar for hours bouncing between the topic of Lucius's health and where the hell Snape was. In the pre dawn hours they finally heard an apparition crack followed by quick footsteps toward them, "Lily are you ok? What the fuck happened?" Severus asked as soon as he could see them. Lily refused to look up ashamed of herself; Sirius and Remus frowned pushing an opened bottle of whiskey toward him. "Sit down and we'll tell you."


	47. Chapter 47

It was a very long two days; the Dark Lord had taken up residence in Malfoy Manor. Severus was summoned there in the morning and was not allowed to leave until late into the night along with every other Death Eater. The Dark Lord was hell bent on finding out who the traitor was among them. Every Death Eater including Severus was tortured for information to no avail. The Dark Lord grew angrier with each failed attempt at information, his last assumption was that it was Lucius or Dolohov, since they were they only ones who failed to return.

Severus returned to Prince Manor late on the second night after the botched Death Eater mission trying to hide his injuries from Lily. He bounded into the Manor like nothing was wrong but quickly asked Remus to come into the library and talk with him for a moment. Half way up the stairs Remus noticed Snape struggling and making faces, Remus pretended to hug Snape around the waist and yelled, "I missed you so much darling!" to hide him helping Snape up the stairs.

Severus usually would have been annoyed but today he was thankful, he couldn't let Lily see what he was about to show Remus. Upon entering the library Severus leaned against the locked door and cast a silencing charm looking helplessly at Remus, "I need some help and I need you to keep it to yourself please."

Remus arched an eyebrow, "I already knew this, and I did help you up the stairs. In a totally not gay way, get undressed and let's see how bad it is."

Severus didn't have the energy to argue, he tried his best to remove the many layers of clothes he always wore but was failing miserably. In a defeated huff he looked up to Remus asking for help silently.

Remus laughed, "Of all the men I've undressed in my mind, you were never one of them."

Severus chuckled, "Good then, I don't have to worry about you taking advantage of me then."

"Holy shit! What the hell happened!" Remus barked as soon as the white under shirt was removed to expose Severus's bare back and chest.

"Complements of the Dark Lord. He's trying to find the traitor and since he can't read my mind I get it a little worse." Severus admitted dryly.

Remus stood in stock of the cuts and bruises that covered Severus, he couldn't help but feel an array of emotions from anger to sadness to admiration, "Well I'll do my best. I'm not the greatest healer but I can definitely heal some of this."

Remus quickly went to work and 30 minutes later they left the library laughing, never mentioning why they were in there. Remus healed Severus well enough that what was left Lily would think were old bruises.

Close to midnight Dumbledore arrived with news of Lucius. Lily had taken it hard and had barely gotten out of bed the last two days. She felt like she had failed the Order but mostly she failed to defend herself and protect Lucius.

Dumbledore gathered them at the bar and told them "Lucius will live, he had some very nasty internal injures. I had to take him somewhere safe and call in a few favors to keep him out of a hospital. He is now mending with Narcissa. He will have to stay there a few weeks. Now, before you read it in the prophet I will tell you what I told the Ministry. I told the Ministry that Dolohov and Lucius were found in a house by auror Moody and Moody injured them both. Dolohov had his memory modified before I took him to the Ministry to be set to Azkaban and the prophet will report that Moody severely injured Lucius to the point he needed medical attention and is being held at a secret location, which will be leaked in a few weeks time so the Dark Lord can break him out."

Lily was now in tears and Severus was trying to comfort her, "This is all my fault. I should have kill Dolohov!" Lily sobbed.

Dumbledore looked at Lily compassionate yet stern, "Lily, this is in no way your fault. You know we don't use the killing curse unless it is an absolute must. We all get injured, Lucius made a choice and he doesn't regret it at all. In fact he was very content when I left, he looks at it like a vacation with Narcissa. You should feel no guilt. We know every time we do these things that we are putting our lives on the line. He survived it, you may not have."

Snape chuckled to himself, "So if I'm reading between the lines right you have made Dolohov look like the traitor then."

Dumbledore never said a word, he stood and announced he was very tired and needed to return to Hogwarts before Minerva took over his office. He started to walk away then stopped and turned to look at Severus, "Everything will work out as it should." With a smile and a wink he was gone.

The next morning the prophet read just as Dumbledore told them it would with a few extras. Indeed Dolohov was pinned as the traitor in the Dark Lords eyes and the new mission was to find Lucius to set him free before the Ministry could take him to Azkaban as well.

Lucius spent his time with Narcissa in blissful peace, the kind of peace he was fighting for and almost died for. They were being held in a cozy house living as a normal couple; no Dark Lord, no house elf, no huge empty Manor, no fear, just two people in love living a simple life. Narcissa had even learned to cook and clean while she had been away from the Manor. This simple life was the happiest time they had ever spent together. When it was time for him to be taken to a hospital in France to be 'broken out' he kissed Narcissa and whispered, "If we can have a life like this when that bastard falls, then it's all worth it. I love you. I'll see you soon love."

Narcissa holding back tears managed to say, "I love you, stay safe." Before he was gone to go back to fight this war that wouldn't be over soon enough.

It took less than a day for Lucius's whereabouts' to be found out and he was back inside Malfoy Manor within 36 hours of leaving Narcissa. He told the Dark Lord a huge lie of how Dolohov gave him up and was barely hit by Moody and he was viciously attacked, as Dolohov did nothing. The Dark Lord was more than eager to buy the story. The torturing of Death Eaters stopped and the Dark Lord went back to the drawing board to come up with his next plan to take over the Wizard World and rid their world of the mudbloods.

They fell into the same routine as before. Meetings, fighting, spying, covering for the spies, meetings, fighting, spying, covering for the spies; it seemed never ending. Soon enough they found themselves following the same tradition as the year before.

Eros's birthday visit, his Christmas visit and then finally saying to hell with it all and staying drunk for a week. They rang in their 3rd year in a row together the same way, drunk, laughing and together. They kissed at the stroke of midnight to celebrate 1980 but to also celebrate the fact they had lived through 1979.

"Can you believe we have done this together for 3 years now?" Sirius asked.

Severus always being the technical smartass, "Actually we've only done this for two years, we have seen three years leave together though." He said with a chuckle.

"Oh, fuck you Snape!" Sirius said with a laugh as he threw a couch pillow at Severus.

"I know you want me Black but my wife would kill you and so would yours." Severus bit back with a smirk.

Lily laughed finding their banter funny, "Wait, you mean if it weren't for me and Remus you two would hook up?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Dear Merlin, Insufferable witch. You know what I meant." Severus slurred.

"I know what you said…." Lily said with a disbelieving look.

"Look Snape, if you wanna switch for tonight I'm cool with it and he's the wife, not me." Remus said laughing.

Severus and Sirius yelled at the same time, "FUCK NO!"

The entire room fell into a rare bout of laughter. It lasted for a while with the jokes on each other continuing. They needed the laughter to heal some of the damage done to their souls the previous year. They were hoping 1980 would be a better year, hopefully the year Voldermort fell.

Their hopes were quickly dashed as Voldermort made more disgusting plans that they had no choice but to follow or fight against. He was still targeting high-ranking muggle officials and Ministry officials. That was until he was delivered a piece of information that would change everything.

In late January the eager to rise through the ranks Barty Crouch Jr. brought the Dark Lord a prophecy he overheard between Dumbledore and Sybill Trelawney during a job interview at Hog's Head. The Dark Lord at first found it to be rubbish but upon learning of Trelawney's linage of seers he put a little more faith into the prophecy he had been told and called a Death Eater meeting at Malfoy Manor after thinking about the information for a few weeks.

Once all members were assembled and seated him told them of the prophecy. "I have been told and have reason to believe that this information may hold some merit." The Dark Lord hissed as he walked the length of the long black table. "The prophecy states that a child born at the end of July will have the power to defeat me. I find it best to rid myself of the problem before it has a chance to get out of hand. I want names of every person to birth a magical child mudblood to pureblood between the last week of July and the middle of August! I don't care how you get the information! I just want it! Get out now and I do not care to see any of you unless you have a name! Now get out!" Voldermort bellowed as he directed them to the door.

Severus made his way to the door happily thinking, 'Finally some fucking hope, miserable bastard is scared.' Upon Severus delivering the information back to Dumbledore, it was the first time he could recall the man ever pale in fear.

"Severus, we have two families already in hiding due to this very prophecy. I can not tell you who they are, I must ask that you fail at delivering a name even if you find out who they are." Dumbledore almost pleaded.

"Sir, I will take whatever punishment comes, it can't be worse than the night we failed and Lucius was injured. Who ever these families are I will never speak their names to anyone who could inform the Dark Lord. I wish him gone but not at the price of someone losing their child. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, even if it meant seeing the Dark Lord defeated." Severus assured him.

Dumbledore nodded and paced around with a look of fear and frustration, "I thought we would have more time before he found out."

"I'm afraid not. I thought you should know that he has already been informed and is hunting down this child." Severus said solemnly.

"Once again, thank you. We will have to look quicker to make sure we have everyone hidden." Dumbledore said thinking aloud.

Before Severus bid his goodbye he turned to say, "If I hear of any names I will inform you." Dumbledore gave a weak smile and he and Severus parted ways.

Severus apparated to Diagon Alley to pick up a few things they needed at the Manor before going home when he was practically attacked by a crazed owl carrying a letter. Severus managed to get the crazy bird to calm down enough to retrieve the letter, which was short, and to the point.

 

 

Snape, I need you and Red quickly! House is safe! Hurry!

L.M.

 

 

Severus was more than confused, first what the hell was the problem and second why the hell did Lily need to come too? Severus apparated home and showed Lily the letter he received from Lucius.

"Well let's go!" Lily said wasting no time in getting ready to leave.

"Lily dear, Malfoy Manor is quite the Death Eater hang out. I have problems taking my wife there. Let me go alone." Severus said evenly.

Lily knitted her eyebrows and stood toe to toe with her husband, "If it were not for that man that asked for me, you wouldn't have a fucking wife! Let's go! We are animagus! We apparate a few streets away, change forms and go to the Manor as foxes, idiot! Now move your ass!" Lily barked.

Severus was taken aback and a little pissed but knew fighting with Lily was futile, "Fine, Insufferable witch but you stay as an animagus until I tell you it's safe!" Severus bit back.

Remus and Sirius were told were and how they were going and left instructions that should they not return in two hours to send some kind of help.

Lily's plan worked without a hitch besides Lucius trying to shoo away two little red foxes scratching at his back door, then one nipped his ankle while the other ran into his Manor. Once inside Severus changed forms, Lucius paled at the sight but was amazed the fox he had just been chasing through his house was actually his friend.

"Still alone?" Severus asked cold and dry.

"Yes, it's safe. I promise." Lucius assured him.

Severus went to the door and let in the other little fox sitting patiently at the door. "Stay that way until we reach the office. Lucius, lead the way." Severus ordered.

Lucius nodded and lead them through the hallways, twists and turns until they reached the office. The men entered the office holding open the door for the little red fox that seemed to be looking at everything around her. When she cleared the door it was shut and locked with several different charms and silencing and muffling charms were placed, then Severus told Lily she could change forms. Once again Lucius was slack jawed, as the little red fox became Lily.

"When in the hell did you two learn that trick?" Lucius asked baffled and truly impressed.

Severus not wanting Lily there one second longer than necessary, "Lucius, it's a long story, I will tell you another time. What is so important that you felt I needed to endanger my wife to bring her here?"

"Oh, you have a very lovely home, Lucius and I never got the chance to properly thank you for saving me that night. I'm sorry you got hurt for me." Lily said genuinely.

Lucius nodded, "Thank you, and you're welcome. It actually all worked out beautifully or at least I hope so."

"What do you mean you hope so?" Severus asked confused.

Lucius waved his hand for the couple to sit, cleared his throat, "Dumbledore has found a way for Narcissa and myself to communicate safely while we are apart. I have been very worried about her. She fell ill shortly after my departure. She didn't seem to be getting any better, on a routine visit Dumbledore found her ill and had a healer visit her after she admitted how long she had been sick. She has known what her condition was for some time but didn't share it with me until Valentines Day. She thought telling me what her illness is would be a fitting present." Lucius said in an unreadable tone.

"Oh, Lucius I'm so sorry! Is there anything I can do for you or her? I will do anything. I owe you my life." Lily said frantically.

"Actually yes, I do need something from both of you. Severus you must know I would never ask you to bring Lily here unless it was very important and Narcissa and I agree on this matter whole heartedly. We are in a war. I am a Death Eater and Narcissa is in hiding. We could die or be sent to Azkaban any day and should that happen we need you to take care of something for us." Lucius still talking in an unreadable tone.

"Whatever you need we will do it!" Lily answered before Severus could protest.

"This is a large request we are making of you both. I need to know for certain you both are willing to do it." Lucius asked in a more grave tone.

"Lucius, what is it you need from us. I agree with Lily, we owe you a life debt. I hardly think you could ask anything of us that we would say no to." Severus said flatly.

Lucius nodded and put his head in his hands to hide the smile on his face, he slid his hands down his face composing himself as he did, "We wish to know if you two will agree to be Godparents to our child whom is due early June?" Lucius asked finally letting the huge smile spread across his face.


	48. Chapter 48

The news of the coming Malfoy heir was a bright spot in their lives; they finally had something good and pure to look forward to. The news of the baby stayed within the circle of friends. Lucius gave permission to tell Remus and Sirius after Snape and Lily joyfully agreed to be Godparents, but no one else was to know.

Lily worked her magic charms on Dumbledore and visited Narcissa several times. Each visit was filled with laughter and desperately trying to feel even the faintest of movements. Lily would smuggle whatever baby items she could with her on her visits fearing the war wouldn't be over before the baby came. Dumbledore would always smile at Lily conveniently forgetting the bag she always brought when he took her to see Narcissa; he knew full well what she was doing but always played as though he had no clue.

Lucius and Lily formed a bond of sorts as well, Lily made it her job to help look after Narcissa and planned on being the best Godmother any child could ever have. She felt it was the least she could do for the man who bravely took a curse for her. Lucius noticed and was grateful that Narcissa had someone besides him; Narcissa being alone worried him constantly. Lily and Severus would apparate to random places far removed from anywhere they might possibly be seen and inform Lucius of Narcissa's progress. Lily even thought of the idea of taking pictures of Narcissa's growing baby bump with each visit as she could go far more often than Lucius. Lily brought him information and hope that he couldn't see in person; Lily would never know how much she helped him through those dark times of being alone in the Manor with nothing keeping him going but the pictures of his wife and the child that was coming. They all were worried about the baby being born during a war, especially to a Death Eater and his wife in hiding but someone would always manage to push the bad away and bring the good to the light.

The Dark Lord was making it very hard to find out what he was planning. The regular Death Eater meetings abruptly stopped. The only way you could see him was to call him to you through the dark mark and if you dared to call him, he expected a name. The Dark Lord usually let the Death Eaters in on his plans weeks ahead of them happening but during the child hunt he was unusually quite with everyone.

When the two defected Death Eaters reported the Dark Lord's strange behavior to Dumbledore, Dumbledore felt he had no choice but to alert the Ministry. The Ministry went to work placing extra guards on medical and birth records; they also notified all healers and St. Mungos to place stricter rules on record handling. Word spread quickly about the Dark Lord looking for a child being born during a certain period of time and it seemed as though almost no one talked of babies at all. The entire wizard world was afraid that their child might be the one marked as Voldermort's target. Pregnancies were being hidden with disillusionment charms and never talked about. Everyone was doing everything they could to protect their children no matter when they were due to be born. It was the first time the wizard world could ever remember having a child was something to be feared instead of celebrated.

Severus and Lucius never reported a name to either side, honestly they couldn't because they had been told nothing from the Dark Lord nor did they learn anything from the public. Whatever names the Dark Lord had he refused to share with anyone, even his most trusted and top ranked Death Eaters were left in the dark. It was rumored that if a Death Eater came forward with a name that the memory of the entire event and how they came to know the name of the expecting family was oblivated. The child hunt consumed Voldermort; he no longer cared about anything except finding the child whom the prophecy was made about. The Death Eaters took it as a vacation of sorts due to that fact there was no information to be found and missions were no longer being handed out. Part of the wizard world enjoyed the small amount of peace the child hunt brought, but those who it affected lived in constant fear. The Order and even the Death Eaters had no clue what to make of Voldermort's sudden halt on attacks of the Ministry and the muggle world. It was a peaceful few months, yet eerie. They all knew Voldermort's silence wouldn't last and what came after his silence would be worse than anything they had seen from him. The Order assumed all would be quite until the middle of August. They also came to the conclusion that Voldermort planned on attacking the chosen family himself. They remained alert and on call just in case they were wrong.

Lucius was growing anxious as the months ticked by; he had nothing to do but worry. Normally the Dark Lord kept him busy and that allowed him to not constantly think about Narcissa and the baby. He now had no tasks and was left alone in a huge empty Manor. Severus had grown to trust Lucius after seeing him faithfully fulfilling his promise to Dumbledore to help the Order along with saving Lily. Severus often visited Lucius to check on him, he remembered all to well how awful the months of Lily being gone were and knew exactly what Lucius was going through. By the first of April Lucius was a wreck and Severus knew he couldn't continue on being alone.

Shortly after arriving home from one of his visits and finding Lily, Remus and Sirius at home he asked them all to come into the sitting room. Once everyone was settled in Severus began a conversation he thought he would never have, "I have an idea, we all live here and we must all agree and yes, you have the right to say no. Lucius is in pretty bad shape being alone. I know how he feels so that makes me a little biased but if you wish before any decision is made we can involve Dumbledore and get his opinion as well. How would all of you feel about Lucius spending some time around here? I'm not saying move him in but maybe I could go get him a few days a week and he could stay here around people that he trusts and can talk to freely. I could return him home late at night and no one would be the wiser, anyone seeing he and I together would think nothing of it."

"I'm fine with that." Sirius said without a second thought, Lucius had his trust the night he stepped in front of Lily and needed no convincing.

"I would have already gone crazy if it were me. We probably should have done this for him sooner. I think we can all trust him, he has done everything he said he would." Remus chimed in giving his opinion.

Lily on the other hand was deep in thought. Severus stood stoic waiting on her response, her silence was quite shocking after the friendships she had made with Narcissa and Lucius over the last couple of months. When Severus couldn't take the silence anymore, "Love? We all have to agree."

"I know. I don't like your idea. I'm calling for Dumbledore." Lily said flatly.

The three men were taken aback at her words. They all had expected Lily to immediately jump on any idea that would help the man that saved her life.

Lily sent her patronus to Dumbledore and strode off to the bar to make a drink for herself as she waited on him. Within a few minutes Dumbledore's apparition crack came and Lily called for him and Severus to join her. Dumbledore looked confused and Lily gave a smile as she handed him a glass of his favorite brandy. Severus was even more confused as she handed him a glass of whiskey and cast a silencing charm on the room. "Severus has a plan to help Lucius. I don't like it. Have Lucius or Narcissa given you any reason to doubt them in the time they have been under your care or service?" Lily asked in an even tone.

Dumbledore blinked a few times, "I have never caught either of them in a lie and they both have done everything asked of them. I would have to say I trust them." Dumbledore answered still confused.

Lily shook her head taking in the information, "What are your plans for Narcissa closer to June? She can't birth that baby alone."

Dumbledore drew a deep breath, "I plan on having a healer stay with her starting the second week in May until the baby arrives."

As Lily poured another shot into her glass she asked, "So you think it best that a first time mother birth her child alone with a healer in a cottage thousands of miles from her husband and only friend?"

Dumbledore huffed in frustration, "Lily, what choice do I have? It's not as if I can have her rushed to St. Mungos to do it as most anyone else would."

Lily feeling a bit sassy after the third shot said, "You know, I'm glad you asked that! Bring her here! We have more than enough room for her and this house is just as safe as the one thousands of miles away. Use your charms on someone at the ministry and set up some kind of hidden floo from there to here since she can't apparate or port key. She needs to be here, my Godchild will not be born in a cottage without me or its father."

Dumbledore shocked at Lily's bit of sass looked to the wide-eyed Severus, "What do you think of this?"

Severus cleared his throat, "Sir, you know as well as I do that she will not give up until she gets her way. We are the child's godparents and it does sound better than leaving the poor woman alone and we won't have to break the Fidelus Charm to have both of them here. Honestly, I have no problem with it."

Dumbledore nodded, "What of your other housemates?"

Lily flicked her wand removing the silencing charm and yelled for Sirius and Remus. The two entered the room with arched eyebrows.

"Do either of you have a problem with moving Narcissa and the baby in here?" Lily asked dryly.

Remus laughed and slapped Sirius on the back leaning over to whisper but everyone heard, "Lost again love, you know what that means! It's my turn." finishing with a wink. "I have no problem with that at all." Remus said with a huge smile.

Sirius still shaking his head at his defeat at the bet he was sure he'd won, "Lils, I have no problem with both of them moving in, as long as this place stays safe. I know Snape would never even entertain the idea if he felt for a second that either of them would put you at risk. I know how to silence a room against a crying baby at 3 a.m."

"I'm sure you do. Be sure you place one when Remus beats your ass bloody over that bet you just lost." Lily said with a smirk, then looked back at Dumbledore and Severus, "One of you need to fetch Narcissa and the other needs to go get Lucius then."

Dumbledore sighed, "This does make more sense, but they are not to be made secret keepers yet. Severus you will have to deal with the coming and going of Lucius and Narcissa isn't to be allowed to leave the house. I will have Narcissa here by tonight. I highly doubt either of them will protest this new arrangement."

"I know Lucius won't. I can't blame him either." Severus said quietly.

"Wonderful! Off you both go! Headmaster, I will have a wonderful dinner ready for all of us once you arrive with Narcissa!" Lily beamed.

"Lily, your power of persuasion has never ceased to amaze me." Dumbledore said shaking his head.

Lily simply raised her glass, smiled and winked.

"Do I dare ask what this bet is that you all seem to know about? I feel a little left out." Dumbledore questioned unsure if he wanted the answer.

Remus blushed, Sirius laughed and the tipsy and sassy Lily answered, "Well, you did ask…. See, Remus and Sirius like to beat the hell out of each other during sex with whips and chains and shit like that. Remus won the bet so Sirius is taking the licks tonight." Lily answered laughing at her two extremely embarrassed and shocked friends.

"Dear Merlin Lily! Did you really have to tell him that!? There are no chains involved either!" Remus blurted out in an embarrassed rant.

"Merlin, I knew better than to ask. I will be on my way now. Good luck with your endeavors gentlemen." Dumbledore said a little flustered.

Severus and Dumbledore strode out of the room together both quietly whispering in unison, "Insufferable witch!" followed by a small chuckled before they apparated to their assigned destinations.

Severus and Dumbledore barely got out half of the plan before Narcissa and Lucius both were packing their things. Severus and Lucius were back inside Prince Manor within the hour. Severus explained to him that he couldn't be told the location and asked that he never mention Prince Manor to anyone. Then he promised Lucius that seeing Narcissa and being alone all of the time would be a thing of the past. Lucius didn't care about the details, he would do anything to stop the misery he was living in, keeping his mouth shut was a small price he would gladly pay. He was simply ecstatic over being able to see his wife more often and knowing he probably wouldn't miss the birth of his child with her being much closer and Snape being able to fetch him quickly.

Dumbledore had to work through a little red tape to safely move Narcissa but as promised she was inside Prince Manor in time for a late dinner. Everyone welcomed them with open arms; everyone who got near her had felt poor Narcissa's belly. The little baby inside seemed to love the attention and different voices, the baby moved and kicked for everyone. The sheer joy on Lucius's face was priceless. Severus and Lily both felt a pang of jealousy and sadness but were truly happy for their friends.

Lily as promised, put together a dinner that would have rivaled a feast in the Great Hall with the help of the two very eager house elves. Dinner was wonderful, they laughed and talked and on the exception of Narcissa, drank until their hearts were content. Lily seemed to be the one taking most of the jokes due to her little stunt to get Narcissa moved in with 'all her sass'. Lily laughed it off not caring, she lost her child and would never get to experience what Narcissa and Lucius were getting and she took her role as Godmother very serious. She would finally have a baby in the house, even if it wasn't her child and even if it were only for a short period of time. Her loss was Narcissa and Lucius's gain.

Lily spent the next few weeks helping Narcissa set up the room she picked to stay in for her and the baby. With some advice from Lily, Narcissa had picked a room closer to the staircase. It placed her further away from Sirius and Remus and closer to Lily. Lily explained the boys could get rather loud and she would have a crying baby she would need help with. Between Lucius and Lily the little Malfoy heir had everything it could possibly need or want by the end of April. Everything was set up and ready, they now were simply on baby watch. Lucius stayed at Prince Manor at least 3 days a week. He always looked pitiful leaving to return to Malfoy Manor but this was much better than the previous arrangement so neither of them ever complained. They knew Lucius had to stay at Malfoy Manor some to not raise suspicion and blamed his absence on drunken nights out. Narcissa and Lucius said thank you so many times it was becoming irritating but the housemates would just smile and say, "You're welcome."

Narcissa had gotten so used to taking care of household chores herself during her stay in the cottage that she often absentmindedly found herself doing 'elf' work. This upset Shelby and Idgie to the point that she had been shooed out of every room at some point by one of the elves for 'doing their jobs'. Feeling a bit useless Narcissa went to Lily, "Is there nothing I can do around here to help? The elves keep eyeing me and shoo me away if I dare to clean anything. I feel as if I'm taking advantage of you and Severus."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Narcissa, you can sit your incredibly pregnant self down and keep me company. Come sit and talk with me." Narcissa followed Lily into the sitting room and gingerly lowered herself into a chair. Lily couldn't help but feel a little envious of the beach ball belly Narcissa constantly rubbed, it was the jealousy of knowing she would never experience that. She never even got to feel Eros kick, Lily bitterly missed her son but at the same time was excited for Narcissa. Lily giggled watching Narcissa trying to lower herself into the chair, "Being that off center must be tough."

Narcissa gave a weak smile, "It does take a bit of getting used to. I can't do half of the things I'm used to doing like I could 6 months ago. It will all be worth it in the end. Pregnancy, I've learned comes with many uncomfortable things."

Lily still watching Narcissa trying to get comfortable noticed her very swollen ankles and promptly propped them up, "It won't be long until we'll have a baby. If you don't slow down I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell Lucius on you!" Lily teased.

"You wouldn't?!" Narcissa asked shocked.

"Oh, yes I would. I'll place you on bed rest myself. You don't have but a few weeks left. You had best sleep all you can now. We have everything around here taken care of. The only thing you need to worry about is carrying that baby to term." Lily advised.

Narcissa giggled, "You're probably right. I imagine this will be pretty tough being alone, not that Lucius would change a diaper at 4 a.m."

Lily arched her eyebrows, "You live with 4 other people and I'm sure we will have to force Lucius to leave every other day to keep up appearances. You are not and will not do this alone. In this house we do everything together, the guys of course will need to be trained, but they will all help. Trust me, this child will be rotten." Lily said with a chuckle.

Narcissa wiped away the stray tear from her cheek, "Lily, I know this was all your doing and I greatly appreciate it but I don't understand why you have put yourself out so for us. We have never done anything for you to deserve your kindness."

Lily drew a deep breath, "Well, your husband did jump in front of a potentially fatal curse for me but that's not the only reason. I'll be honest, I don't like talking about this but I feel like I can tell you. I lost mine and Severus's child and I can no longer have children, so your offer to be Godmother is kinda my chance at being someone important to a child. Sev and I have talked about adopting one day but who knows when that day will come. We are helping you but truthfully, I am a bit envious of you; not in a bitter hateful way, more of a longing for something I'll never have. Getting to be part of this with you is actually comforting, Sirius and Remus waited on me hand and foot while I was pregnant. I hated it but I understand it now, when you help take care of the person carrying the child you are bonding with not only the mother but the child as well. I plan on being the most irritatingly involved Godmother ever." Lily said with a smile.

Narcissa had no words to say, there was nothing she could think of to say to help Lily's pain or express her gratitude but she decided from that moment forward that Lily would always be a huge part of her childs life and she was absolutely certain she and Lucius had picked the right people to name as Godparents. Narcissa now looked at Lily in a different light, she wasn't a do-gooder, trying to buy favor into the Malfoy name. She had no ulterior motive for her actions other than she wanted to become closer friends with her and Lucius. Narcissa had only met a few people like Lily and most of them would never associate themselves with the Malfoy name. Narcissa finally found a true friend who couldn't care less about her last name or the fact that her husband was a branded Death Eater. Lily would always be a friend that would openly claim the Malfoys as friends and maybe even family when this damn war ended. Lily would be someone Narcissa would hang on to as long as she could, she needed a friend like Lily and she would be more than happy to 'share' her child with Lily for all she had done for them. She had already decided months ago the whole blood purity mess was nonsense but Lily was living proof that none of that mattered and she would Crucio anyone who dared to try to tell her otherwise once she had this baby. Narcissa now knew if she and Lucius were to die in this war no one would love this child like the fiery red head who moved hell and Earth to get her closer to home, closer to her husband and to made her feel at home when she couldn't be in her own.


	49. Chapter 49

Lily was awakened in the early morning hours of June 5th to a light knock on her bedroom door. She quietly got out of bed and went to the door; she found Narcissa on the other side of it, "What's wrong?" Lily asked surprised.

Narcissa quietly asked, "Can you come to my room? This is sort of embarrassing."

Lily nodded, "I'll be right there. Let me change clothes real quick."

Narcissa quietly said "Thank you." and waddled back toward her room.

Lily changed and gave a quick knock before entering Narcissa's room, "What's wrong love?" as she shut the door.

Narcissa blushed, "I'm not sure." She said in a more panicked tone.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Lily asked confused.

Narcissa huffed, embarrassed as she was she needed help, "I'm not sure if I had an accident or if my water broke." She mumbled as she placed her hands over her now red face.

"Oh, well was it a lot or a small amount?" Lily asked in a soft tone.

"Honestly, it could have been either. I feel like I live in the bathroom lately." Narcissa mumbled.

Lily felt awful for Narcissa, figuring she had an accident in her sleep and with the baby due any day now overreacted again, suggested taking a shower while Lily got Idgie to help clean up the bed.

Narcissa agreed now feeling more embarrassed and burdensome since she had woke Lily again for the third time in a week.

Narcissa was standing at the closet trying to find something clean and comfortable to put on, Lily was removing the bedclothes as she called for Idgie. Idgie took the dirty clothing and returned with fresh linens, she magically cleaned and dried the mattress and was putting on the sheets. Lily was standing in the door way watching to make sure Narcissa had everything before returning to bed. Everything seemed to be in order and Lily was about to head back to her room until she seen Narcissa drop the clothing she was holding, clutch her stomach, yelped and then the puddle of water that couldn't be mistaken this time pooled in the floor.

"Well love, I think this is it. Get back in the bed." Lily said in the calmest voice she could manage.

"Idgie, go wake Master Black and tell him I need him now!" Lily ordered that elf before calling the other one, "Shelby!" "Yes Madame Snape?" Shelby asked. "Go wake Master Snape and tell him I need him now!" Lily turned to Narcissa after the elves were gone, "Are you ok?"

Narcissa looked scared shitless and panted a faint, "Yes."

"Ok, I'm not leaving this room but I'll be busy for a few minutes. I you need something make it known. Ok?" Lily said quickly. Narcissa nodded in understanding. Sirius ran down the hall of rooms knowing it must be time, he forgot to bother with clothing and appeared at the door in his boxers with Remus right behind him. Severus wasn't but a few seconds behind them. Lily took charge of the situation, "Sirius, I need a patronus to Dumbledore right now. Tell him we need Pompfrey and quickly! Severus, I need Lucius like 10 minutes ago! Remus, I need you to help me but please go put on some pants." She got no answers just three men doing exactly as she had asked. She walked over to Narcissa who was in visible pain, "I don't know what is safe to give you. Madame Pompfrey should be here soon. She will know. Severus has gone to get Lucius. We'll get through this. Do what you need to, scream, or cry or hell break my hand if you need to." Lily said in the most reassuring tone.

Narcissa didn't say anything for a minute, the pain subsided and she could talk again, "Lily, I'm scared."

Lily brushed the hair that was now glued to her forehead with sweat, away and calmly said, "Love you wouldn't be human if you weren't scared. I'm here and we'll get through this. Just think, this time tomorrow we will finally have a baby to put in all those clothes we have bought." Narcissa gave a faint smile, and then tensed in pain again.

Remus reappeared in the doorway, "Lily what do I need to do?"

"Go get me some wash clothes and a bowl of cold water." Lily ordered and Remus was gone in a mad dash. Remus returned with the requested items and Lily helped Narcissa through the contractions that seemed to be coming harder and quicker than she was prepared for. She smiled at Narcissa and remained calm cooing at her to keep her calm thinking the entire time 'Where the fuck are they!' but never let Narcissa see the panic on her face.

"Lily, I don't think it's supposed to happen this fast." Narcissa panted.

Lily calmly said, "I'm not sure how quick these things happen but we'll be fine. They'll be here any second." Narcissa nodded before clenching down as hard as she could on Lily's hand that she was sure was literally broken by now.

Within minutes Narcissa's contractions were almost back-to-back and she had given up trying to maintain her gracefulness, she was screaming in agony and cursing Lucius Malfoy with every breath she could manage. Lily had never seen Narcissa like this; then again she had never witnessed a baby being born either. Lily was holding on to her composure but she was quickly getting worried, she was about to call the elves and send them to Hogwarts to find out what the hold up was when she heard an apparition crack, 'Merlin please let that be Pompfrey.' She thought. "Remus! Who is that?" Lily yelled.

"Madame Pompfrey, on our way up!" he yelled back.

Lily tried to shout to Narcissa over her screams and cursing but it did little good, she didn't even notice the healer enter the room. Madame Pompfrey took over like she delivered babies everyday at Hogwarts. She asked Lily questions as she gave Narcissa various potions that seemed to be helping. Once she had Narcissa to a point she stopped screaming she started informing her of what she was doing, what she was about to do and what was coming.

Lily gently eased her hand from Narcissa's as she listened to Madame Pompfrey and with a flick of her wand mended her hand that was throbbing in pain. Narcissa quickly grabbed Lily's hand again as Madame Pompfrey checked to see how far along she was.

"Oh dear, I got here just in time. You'll need to start pushing soon dear." The healer said calmly. A knock came at the door and Madame Pompfrey answered, it was Sirius.

"I need Lily for just a moment please." He asked quickly.

Lily started to stand to go to the hall when Narcissa put a death grip on her arm, "Please don't leave me." She begged with tears streaming down her face.

Lily looked to Sirius standing in the cracked doorway, "Can you not come in here? She's decent at the moment."

Sirius shut the door slightly and whispered to someone, when the door opened again Dumbledore entered. "Madame Pompfrey, I need to speak to you. The father of this child is Lucius Malfoy. He is here and would like to come in. I assure you, that you are in no danger." Dumbledore said in soft yet firm tone.

Madame Pompfrey looked at Dumbledore like he had lost his mind, "With all due respect sir, I already assumed this child belonged to Lucius. Seeing as Narcissa is being housed and hidden by several members of the Order I have already pieced together something is going on. I may have been born in the dark but it wasn't last night. Send the man in now or he very well may miss the birth. I am not afraid of the likes of Lucius Malfoy, for Merlin's sake how many of his injuries did I heal over the years. Go on now, you get out and send Lucius in."

Dumbledore smiled at the snippy healer, "Yes ma'am."

Dumbledore hadn't cleared the door when Lucius made his way into the room, "Love I am so sorry it took so long. We had a small hang up but everything is fine now. Is there anything I can do?"

Narcissa let go of Lily only to grab Lucius who had made his way onto her shit list for being so late, "What the fuck could be more important than this?" she barked but before she could get an answer a hard contraction hit and Lucius was now the one taking the wrath of Narcissa's vise like hands.

Lily couldn't help but smile, thinking 'Serves you right for being so late.' Internally giggling at Lucius trying not to howl in pain as Narcissa's nails dug into his forearm. Lily knew she didn't have much time to tell him before the next one came so quickly she directed him on how she had been helping Narcissa get through the contractions. Lily gave Narcissa a small smile and said, "I better be the third person to hold the little one." Lucius was wiping Narcissa's face as she nodded at Lily. Lily turned to head for the door feeling that her job was done and she should leave them be to have a family moment.

Lily got to the door when she heard the strained voice say, "Where are you going?"

Lily turned and said, "I think this is a family moment. I'll just be right outside. Lucius can yell and I can come back in if he needs help."

Lucius arched an eyebrow, "You aren't leaving." He said in a tone of finality and not fear.

"It's fine. I know you probably want to be alone. Honestly I don't mind waiting in the hall. This is a family moment." Lily said genuinely.

"You're right it is, that's why you're not leaving. You are family. Aunt Lily in fact." Narcissa said in a strained tired voice.

Lily couldn't hold back the tears, she quickly wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands, "I would love that."

As Lily sat in a chair next to Narcissa on the other side of the bed, Narcissa rubbed Lily's cheeks to dry to remaining tears and struggled out, "Good, because I meant it. I need my sister and my husband to help me get this baby out."

Lily let another tear silently fall, then looked to Lucius, who gave her a genuine smile, "I'm not going anywhere, let's get this baby out."

Madame Pompfrey had watched the entire exchange wearing a smile herself; chimed in, "Love, on the next contraction push as hard as you can. It's time to welcome this baby into the world."

Outside in the hall all of the men were pacing but staying close to the room, it would have looked to any outsider that all of them were expectant fathers. 15 minutes later the first cry of the newest Malfoy was heard throughout the Manor. The hall was full of sighs then cheering, in the bedroom the baby boy was handed to Narcissa first who couldn't really see him for the tears of joy. It would become a never ending argument between Lily and Lucius as to who touched him second, they were like Narcissa and had a hard time seeing through the tears of joy but the truth be told; Lily stroked his left cheek and Lucius stroked the right cheek at the exact same moment.

Madame Pompfrey cleaned up the baby and swaddled him tightly before handing him to Lucius, "I have an idea of what's going on. I will vow to never say a word but I do have some advice. This little one needs someone to look up to, someone who will always be there for him. Do what is right, never fail him."

Lucius looked up to the woman he had known almost his whole life, "I promise I'm doing my best."

Madame Pompfrey smiled and said, "That's all anyone can ask of you. This night never happened as far as I'm concerned. Good Luck."

Lucius held his son and couldn't believe anything so small could mean so much, or how quickly you could love a child until he looked down upon the face of his son. "I promise, if I live through this I will not fail you." He whispered to the baby. Lucius gently talked to him and rocked him while Madame Pompfrey and Lily took care of Narcissa and getting everything cleaned.

When everything was back in order and Narcissa was returned to a clean bed Lucius could feel those emerald eyes burning a hole in him, without turning around to face her he said loudly enough for Lily to hear, "Little one if I don't let Auntie Lily hold you for a moment I'm afraid she may hex daddy the moment I return you to mommy."

Lily laughed but wouldn't deny the thought had crossed her mind. Lucius walked over and handed the baby to Lily. Lily beamed with pride and love immediately, she softly whispered to him all of her promises to him as Lucius softly praised Narcissa. A few minutes passed and Lily knew it was time to give them their family time, "Lucius, why don't you introduce your son to the hall full of waiting proud secondary fathers." Lily said with a chuckle. Lucius was more than happy to go show off his greatest accomplishment.

Lily and Narcissa were left alone; Narcissa took the opportunity to tell Lily a few things, "Thank you for everything. I mean it, you made all of this happen. I meant what I said earlier; if you'll claim me I'd like to truly call you my sister. It wasn't drugged talk or pain. I meant it; I want him to know you as his aunt and not that crazy thing I'm related to by blood. I hope he never knows of her."

Lily smiled with tears in her eyes, "I would claim you over my bitchy blood sister everyday of every week. I would love for us to be sisters and if Sev and I ever get to adopt a child I want that child to know you as their aunt and not that stuck up bitch I'm related to by blood."

Narcissa gave a small chuckle, "Love, sometimes family is who you make it. If all these months have taught me anything it's that blood doesn't mean a fucking thing. We are family now. I can't wait until this war is over and we can go shopping together and have dinner parties and all the things normal families do that I've never had."

Lily smiled, "I can't wait either." Lucius came back in beaming with pride. "Well I'm sure the baby needs to be fed and you two really do need time alone together, if you need anything call Shelby." Lily stood and walked over to Lucius grinning, "Congratulations brother-in-law."

Lucius playfully gave a smug smile, "Thank you sister-in-law. Wow, that sounds weird! Honestly, I would have picked you a million times over Bella. Thank you for everything; you really are family to us now. I have been such a fool all these years believing blood status makes one superior. I am truly sorry Lily, you are a far better person than the majority of purebloods I know." Lucius bent down and kissed Lily on the forehead. "I mean it, you are family now. Besides if Narcissa has you we can disown Bella."

Lily chuckled, "I'm glad you've seen the light about us mudbloods." Lily said with a wink. She then kissed the baby gently on the head whispering, "I love you little one." and started to leave.

"Lily, we want you to know his name first. You made this possible and it's a small token of appreciation. You can tell them, I refused to tell them until you knew. We are naming him Draco. Draco Lucius Malfoy." Lucius said still beaming with pride.

Lily smiled, "I love that! My little nephew Draco." Lily left the room smiling only to be met by several men all wanting to know the baby's name. Lily held her hands up to silence them, "The first one to bring me a bottle of whiskey and a glass gets to know the name first!" They all took off in a mad dash trying to push each other down or trip each other. Lily could have sworn she even seen a jinx thrown. "Damn fools." She muttered.

Lily sat in the sitting room sipping on a well deserved glass of whiskey when she heard the stampede of men coming toward her, all of them fighting to get to her first. As they entered the room Severus tripped Sirius and Remus pushed Snape so hard that they both lost their balance and fell. Lily stopped the bottle of whiskey rolling toward her with her foot then looked at the three morons in the floor. They all looked up and sang in unison, "How in the fuck?" as they seen Lily smirk and drain the whiskey glass. They all stood dusting themselves off and straightening their clothes.

"Seriously, how the hell did you get that? We don't keep whiskey in here." Severus asked utterly confused.

"My, my, my, the sweet babe is but an hour old and already turned three full grown, well educated, and lethal wizards into total morons." Lily gloated as she refilled her glass.

"Lils!?" Sirius barked wanting to know how she got to the bar and back before they did.

Lily laughed, "I remember the very first thing I learned at Hogwarts. I was so amazed I thought there could be no spell greater than that one. Of course I was wrong but it was amazing the first time I used it. I still think it's amazing even after all the other things I've learned. You know what my first spell was?" She looked at the three buffoons who were still confused. Lily smirked, pointed her wand at the bottle of whiskey in the floor and said, "Accio". Then proceeded to laugh her fool head off at the three who were all trying to hide their obvious embarrassment as she caught the whiskey bottle whisking it's way into her hand.

The guys sat and drank with Lily, taking turns asking about Narcissa and the baby. "She did beautifully, she broke my hand but she did amazingly. The baby of course is perfect."

They all nodded but neither of them dare ask the burning question for fear of being made fools of again.

Lily finished her drink, "Draco. Draco Lucius Malfoy, now you can stop wondering and fighting. In addition to being his Godmother, I have also officially been made his aunt. I even got an apology for Mr. Lucius Malfoy for his blood purity ignorance." Lily said with an air of smugness.

"So does that make me uncle Snape?" Severus asked.

"I have no clue love. I'm part of the Malfoy/Black family now; Narcissa and I have decided we are sisters born to different families. You'll need to take that question up with Lucius." Lily said with a smirk.

Severus laughed, "I'll be sure to ask him about that later. I'll have to be his brother by another mother to keep us from being related since we are married."

"Welcome to the Black family!" Sirius laughed "If you think about it, if Remus and I marry then all of us would be real family."

"Mr. Black, I don't recall ever being asked nor have I ever agreed to marry you." Remus bit with fake hurt.

The room erupted in laughter and they chatted idly about the new addition to their already weird little family of their own making.

Lily was several glasses in when she remembered how long it took Lucius and Severus to get back, "Sev, what was the small hang up that kept you and Lucius?"

Severus drew a deep breath knowing this would not go well, "The Dark Lord and Bellatrix showed up before we could get out of Malfoy Manor. They had several questions as to why Lucius is rarely home. We played it off like he was drinking away his pain with me."

"And…. " Lily asked with an arched eyebrow knowing that wasn't the entire story.

Severus's face fell, "We knew we would be followed, so we went to a bar and quickly had a few drinks before we felt it safe to apparate here."

"You two had better be glad that you got here when you did. That baby was born within minutes of Lucius walking into that room. Dark Lord or not Narcissa would have had his balls if he had missed the birth of Draco." Lily said flatly and slightly tipsy.

Lucius refused to leave Prince Manor the first week after Draco's birth, Severus thought it was a bad idea to stay away from Malfoy Manor all week but understood not wanting to leave the baby. Narcissa finally forced him to go back to Malfoy Manor. He hated it yet he knew he had to be seen at his home to keep up appearances and not draw any unwanted attention to himself.

During that first week every single person in the house fought over Draco; every single man in the house could change a diaper as well as Lily and Narcissa.

Narcissa laughed while drinking tea watching Lucius and Sirius fight over whose turn it was to feed Draco, "You were right, I'm defiantly not alone in this. I never dreamed I would have help much less Sirius Black fighting with my husband to feed my child."

Lily smiled up at her, "I told you Cissy, in this house we do everything together. I believe you told me, 'Sometimes family is who you make it.' We are our own little weird family."

Nothing much changed over the summer months outside of the platinum haired baby growing incredibly fast. He rarely was ever put down; as soon as one person would lay him in a bed or bassinet, another would quickly scoop him up. Lucius came and went often, not wanting to miss anything, Lily was like a second mother and Draco had three secondary fathers.

Severus made no objection to the bassinet that mysteriously appeared next to her side of the bed in their room. He even had made 3 a.m. bottle runs for the little turd (as he lovingly called Draco when no one was listening). Draco slept in Lily and Severus's room at least twice a week giving Narcissa time to sleep peacefully.

On one of the nights Draco was in their room Severus laid in bed watching Lily pace the floor softly singing to the baby trying to sooth him back to sleep. He couldn't help but smile at the sight then the guilt and hurt hit. When Lily finally cooed Draco back to sleep and came back to bed, Severus pulled her tightly to him. "Love I promise if I have to buy us one on the black market, we will have our own child when this is over." He whispered.

Lily let a silent tear fall and whispered, "Just live through this first, then we'll talk about children."

Things continued on this way until October. The 30th of October was the first time in months their left arms had burned with that familiar unwanted pain. Lucius and Severus looked at each other in sheer terror as they felt it. "You go first, you were with a slag in Knockturn Alley." Severus said feeding Lucius his alibi knowing they were being called to Malfoy Manor where Lucius should have been. Lucius quickly bid his goodbyes and love to Narcissa and Draco, looked to the others in fear, "Please take care of them."

"They'll be safe no matter what. We have several safe guards besides the wards." Lily reassured Lucius.

With a crack Lucius was gone leaving a devastated wife and crying baby; whom Remus took quickly from Narcissa's arms to tend to him.

Severus looked at Lily, Remus and Sirius and said, "You know what to do if anything goes wrong. Lily there's extra protection in the wardrobe should you need it." Slyly letting her know the twin was still at Hogwarts. Then he quickly grabbed Lily and hugged her like he would never see her again, kissed her and looked her straight in the eyes saying, "I love you."

Lily with a tear rolling down her cheek choked out, "I love you. Be careful."

"Love I'm sure we are being called to be tasked, he's been far too quite for too long. We will be fine and will be back soon." Severus said with a sad smile. "Take care of them." Severus said to Remus and Sirius.

"With our lives." The pair chimed back.

With an unwanted apparition crack Severus was gone as well. The house was quite that night; no one could find anything to talk about that could calm the fears of the two women. They all waited in silence, the only sounds being made were those of whomever was entertaining little Draco.


	50. Chapter 50

Lucius and Severus were seated at the endless black table at Malfoy Manor in their usual spots, with their thoughts locked up tight. The Dark Lord cared little about Lucius's story of where he was; his only thoughts were of getting every last Death Eater into the Manor.

Bellatrix was shooting daggers at Lucius, she still wanted to kill him for her sister going missing and his behavior since; thinking he was staying drunk and screwing whores in Knockturn Alley, when he should be looking for his wife.

Lucius looked at her smugly and smirked, like he enjoyed her anger toward him.

The Manor door swung open, Karkaroff came in late as usual but today it wasn't looked over; the Dark Lord promptly hit him with Crucio as soon as he cleared the door. When that display of discipline was over and Karkaroff made his way to his seat the Dark Lord began his never ending hissing but this time every single Death Eater, old and new hung on his every word. It had been months since he had gathered them and they knew this would be important.

"You all are a great disappointment to me, on the exception of Bellatrix and Crouch Jr. I care not to tell you how many of you failed your last task. Properly punishing each of you would take too much of my precious time, though I have greatly considered making time for just that!" The Dark Lord hissed as he walked the length of the table looking as if he could kill them all at any moment. "I have found there were not very many pure or half blood families that were expecting during the set time frame of the prophecy, thanks to Mr. Crouch Jr. They all can be taken out in a single night if need be. I will handle those families myself, as it seems none of you are competent enough to fulfill a simple task." The Dark Lord spitting venom with every word.

No one dared to flinch or even move. They all sat like statues cowering under their very pissed off master.

"I called you here to inform you that you all have the same task. Tomorrow in the muggle world, children and their parents will celebrate Halloween. They will all be walking up and down streets in every neighborhood. I have a list of possible muggle born babies, thanks to the wonderful and faithful Bellatrix. You will be paired together and sent to these muggle homes. You will verify the names and addresses you are given and that there is a baby of proper age in that home. You will do nothing else. I have chosen tomorrow night because most homes will be empty during dusk hours. I have almost made this fool proof for you idiots. I don't care how you achieve this task but if you should fail to bring me what I ask for by midnight tomorrow; death will be what you beg for." The Dark Lord bellowed at them from the head of the table. "Bella, give these morons their tasks while I go have a drink to calm myself before I kill this lot of unworthy filth." The Dark Lord barked as he left the room.

Bellatrix quickly called pairs of names and handed each parchment with the same information on each. She called Lucius and Severus last with an evil smirk as the pair walked over to her they could see the evil dancing in her eyes as she handed them the parchment with their task. They said nothing and turned to walk back to there seats. "Oh, Snapey. My Lord knows your little secret. You're both in for it. I can't wait to see what he does to you two." Bellatrix teased followed by her high-pitched evil cackle.

Severus and Lucius tensed but refused to lose their composure. "Bella, I haven't a clue what you are referring to. I have no secrets." Severus said flatly and stoic. He returned to his seat, internally screaming but never let it show on his face.

The Dark Lord slithered back into the room still looking like they all were scum deserving of death, "Fail and you will beg Merlin to bring your death. Get out! All of you! Except you, Severus and Lucius, I wish to speak with you two."

The Manor cleared quickly, no one waited to be told twice to leave. "Come into the library with me." The Dark Lord hissed.

As the three of them made their way to the room Lucius looked to Severus, Severus quickly shook his head no and threw his nose into the air to show Lucius that they must remain confident and strong. They must do whatever it took to protect those in Prince Manor even if that meant death.

It was by sheer luck that the library was a decent walk across the Manor as Lucius seen Severus's left hand and quickly nudged him and played with his own wedding band.

Severus paled, he had gotten so used to not having to hide his ring he had forgotten about it needing to be concealed. He quickly cast a nonverbal disillusionment charm on his wedding ring, begging Merlin that no one else noticed.

Once they reached the library they were demanded to sit, the Dark Lord handed them both a glass of whiskey and took the seat across from them, he simply sat and sneered as he was trying to read their thoughts but couldn't get into either of their minds. "I see you both have become exceptional occlumens. Impressive, I know why Severus learned this wonderful talent but what is your secret Lucius? What are you hiding? If I had to guess I would assume it has something to do with that lovely wife of yours that vanished." The Dark Lord said in an accusing tone.

Both men sat quiet with their heads up; knowing saying anything could be the wrong thing. They had no clue what had been found and were not about to give the Dark Lord any information he didn't already have. Their best move was to wait on him to tell them what he knew; the Dark Lord loved to gloat and it wouldn't take him long to spill what he knew.

"Severus you picked up the talent of occlumency before becoming branded, I have always known this. I did not know why until a few weeks ago. Mating with a mudblood is disgusting and filthy, no matter how beautiful they may be. I understand why you would want to hide your bastard mudblood child but I have since learned you properly took care of the problem. You shall live for now, for you corrected your mistake. Although, I cannot seem to locate the lovely mudblood you impregnated or her dear friends. I know they were inseparable after you left Hogwarts and joined my ranks. I assume they are in hiding with the Order. Would I be correct, Severus?"

Severus never flinched with his answer, "My Lord I would not know, I have not spoken to her since well before the incident. I do know they had great favor with Dumbledore. I would not be surprised if you are correct sir. She was terrified of me when we last spoke. It is very possible she thinks I would finish the job should I see her again and has asked Dumbledore to hide her and those miserable bastards who tormented me all those years. They all fear me, and rightly so. They all deserve my wrath."

The Dark Lord sat drumming his fingers thinking, "Yes, that would make sense after what you did to the filthy bitch and her friend. Quite impressive Severus, not only did you kill the unworthy child you left her barren so there will never be anymore filth come from her disgusting blood."

Severus was seething on the inside, he could have used the killing curse on the Dark Lord at that moment and never lose a minutes sleep over it but he never allowed his emotions to show. Severus knew everyone inside Prince Manor was depending on him to be this asshole he needed to be, letting the bastard's insults toward his wife and child get under his skin would only tip off the Dark Lord that Lily still remained in his life and get him and Lucius killed on the spot.

The Dark Lord snarled as he looked at Lucius, "Yours is a new talent. Lucius, what have you done that you feel the need to hide it from me?"

Severus and the Dark Lord's conversation had given Lucius time to think, he thought of Narcissa and about Draco growing up without a father and it killed him thinking that could happen. He had promised his son he would not fail him. He could only think of one thing to tell the Dark Lord that would make any sense at all. There was only one lie to tell that would stop the hunt for Narcissa, it was a terrible lie and he shuttered at the thought of it being real but it must be told. It would solve everything, that's if the Dark Lord believed it. He knew that either way he could end up dead by someone's hand but it was a risk he must take. "My Lord, I am keeping a dark secret, I lied to you about Narcissa. The night she disappeared did not happen as I told you it did, My Lord." Lucius finally spoke.

Severus sat frozen in his seat thinking 'What the fuck is this stupid bastard doing?! I will kill him if he betrays me now'.

The Dark Lord tilted his head to one side, curiosity written all over his face, "Well…. What happened then and where is she?"

Lucius looked at Severus with a pleading and pitiful look, drew a deep breath and then said, "I killed her. We did fight that night and I did strike her several times. I was drunk and livid, she constantly complained about your presence in our home and refused to be branded after my many pleas. It was a constant fight when no one was around and finally that night, she asked me for a divorce because she wanted no part of our life anymore. I refused to grant her a divorce and told her to deal with it, she knew what she was getting into when she married me. We fought back and forth for hours, she told me that we were all disgusting murders and deserved to be in Azkaban and I fiercely reminded her of her lineage and that she was a disappointment to them all. She threw a vase at me and hit me in the head with it when I told her she wasn't worthy of me or the lifestyle she had grown accustomed to. That is when I physically attacked her, when I stood she was a bloody mess and I felt horrible for what I had done. Lucius said with great sincerity.

He took another deep breath and began again, "That was until she said "He will kill you when he sees me." I learned that night that she had been having an affair with a muggle. She had been fucking a muggle of all things, you can imagine my rage and disgust. I tortured her until she agreed to take me to his house. I sent her to the door while I hid a few feet away, I had to see if she was lying to get out of our marriage or if it were true. Their affair was obvious, he immediately asked what had happened to her and said he would kill me when she told him I had beaten her. She started crying and then she leaned up and kissed him, told him that she loved him then told him to run, because I was there to kill him. In a blind rage I killed them both on the spot. My Lord, I snapped when I saw my wife kiss and confess her love for a filthy muggle. The man lived in muggle London and knew I had to cover my crime up quickly, as to not get caught. I apparated myself and their bodies to the ocean, levitated them far out into the sea and then I sent both their bodies to the bottom of the Atlantic; I imagine the fish ate well for a few days. I apologize My Lord, I did not wish for you to find out my wife felt that way about you, what we are trying to accomplish or would stoop so low to mate with a muggle and then come home to me. My Lord, this is all very embarrassing for me." Lucius finished apologetically.

Severus sat in awe, 'Fucking brilliant asshole, I couldn't have lied that well!' he thought. He knew the tale wasn't over and he now understood Lucius's look before he told this fabulous lie. Severus cleared his throat and meekly said, "My Lord, I must admit that I taught Lucius occlumency. I am the closest person he has to a friend. I'm sure you remember me being here often and rather drunk before I took your mark. Lucius was helping me though my shameful event and I felt as though I owed him. When he came to me and told me of his problem and how he wanted to keep it a secret because he was ashamed of her actions looking badly upon him. I understood his problem and taught him how to close his mind. We both have been with women we were ashamed of you knowing about so we have formed a friendship though a common bond of shame. That is why we are often together, we are drinking away our shame and secrets." Severus chimed in adding more to the story before the Dark Lord could ask any more questions.

The pair was expecting more questions to pick apart their stories and hoping they could continue to build off each others lies but that never came, what came was unheard of.

The Dark Lord laughed, a deep, true, evil and cold laughter filled the room. "I had planned on killing you both tonight, Bellatrix had me convinced you both were traitors. Especially when Crouch Jr found the mudbloods medical records while looking for the prophecy child's records. You see Hogwarts has to send copies of all serious injuries or conditions to St. Mungo's and your name, Severus, appeared on some of those papers. Then I had Bella do some asking around about you, the mudblood and her friends with your old classmates. The timing of the child could of only been yours, Severus. Everyone Bella talked to confirmed you two were thick as thieves until the mudblood fainted and you carried her to the hospital wing. Then suddenly you two were never seen together again. Polyjuice is an amazing thing, people spill all their stories and gossip when they think they are talking to a friend and no one bats an eye when a healer spends hours in the records room at St. Mungos. Then we have Lucius, whose wife mysteriously disappears and then he can't seem to complete his tasks or is injured severely putting him in a hidden hospital for weeks; all that just seemed a little convenient. Bella will be livid when she finds out she was wrong about you two and that her beloved sister was the blood traitor who is now dead. I thought your occlumency abilities were learned to cover up traitorous deeds but you two were hiding the fact that you were fucking unworthy women." The Dark Lord said with a chuckle.

Severus and Lucius looked to each other not knowing what to think. Had they really just flat out lied to the Dark Lord and he bought their stories? They were somewhat relieved but weren't relaxing just yet, he did say he planned on killing them.

The Dark Lord quickly went back to his usual vile and cold demeanor, "You see, that whiskey you both consumed, had Veritaserum in it, you couldn't have lied to me even if you wanted to. I am thankful now, that I didn't just kill you two as I had originally planned. You both have always done well until recently. I assume your shame and secrets have gotten the better of you and kept you distracted. I shall be on my way now that we have this matter cleared up. Lucius, I do not blame you for your actions. I have killed for far less; the blood traitor bitch got what she deserved. I shall order Bellatrix to leave you be from now on." The vile man slithered his way into the hallway and yelled for Bellatrix.

Bella came skipping toward the Dark Lord until she spotted Lucius and Severus standing in the doorway, she stopped dead in her tracks and sneered at them both, "My Lord! How do they still live? They have betrayed you!"

Severus grinned and waved and Lucius blew her a kiss just to piss her off.

"Hush Bella! You were wrong. Come, we must talk about a few things." The Dark Lord bellowed right before their very welcomed apparition crack came.

"Holy Fuck! How did we pull that off? How did we lie under Veritaserum?" Lucius said in amazement as he sunk into a chair.

"I have no fucking clue. Maybe it was a bad batch." Severus answered confused. Severus noticed a small movement in the corner, "Dobby?" The small fidgeting elf in a filthy pillowcase came into the light. It didn't take him long to figure out somehow their lives had been saved by elves. Severus laughed, "You know Shelby don't you?"

Dobby stood in fear, "Yes sir, I do. Dobby has known elf Shelby for many years."

"Lucius Malfoy, I swear to Merlin if I ever hear you yell at him again I will kill you myself, this elf you treat like shit, is the only fucking reason we are alive." Severus said in a serious tone pointing at the cowering elf.

"How is that? He didn't do anything to save us. He's just an elf who cleans and cooks. There is no way he outsmarted the Dark Lord." Lucius said dismissively.

"Dobby, please tell your master what you've been up to. I promise I will protect you. I will not allow him to yell or punish you." Severus assured the frightened elf.

Dobby stood wringing his hands but did as he was told, "Master Malfoy, the Dark Lord and Madame Lestrange have been to the Manor many times while Master has been away. Dobby has heard the things they have said about Master. Dobby hears many things and knows that Master and Madame Malfoy are trying to do good. Dobby was trying to help sir. Dobby knew of the Dark Lord's plans for tonight to kill Master and Mr. Snape. Dobby did not wish this to happen. Dobby is most sorry and will punish himself thoroughly. Dobby left the Manor and went to Prince Manor and told these things to elf Shelby. Shelby was most upset and gave Dobby something to put in the glasses to keep the truth potion from working."

"Holy hell, we were really saved by house elves!?" Lucius said in disbelief.

"It's amazing what they will do if you treat them correctly. Shelby is always slipping things into drinks as she sees fit. She has spent many hours with me learning potions and is quite amazing with them. I would almost put my life on the line to say that I bet everyone in Prince Manor has been slipped a small amount of calming draught tonight." Severus gloated.

Dobby still stood fidgeting in fear. Severus looked at Lucius with arched eyebrows and pointed to Dobby, "You owe him a life debt. I think the least you can do is say 'Thank you', offer him a proper uniform and treat him better from now on!"

Lucius still stunned that he owed his life to the house elf nodded, "Dobby, thank you for what you did, without you we would have died. You may wear more proper attire and I will not be speaking to you so harshly anymore and you are not to punish yourself for leaving the Manor for my benefit. Is there anything else you wish to have?"

Dobby looked up with those huge eyes, filled with fear and hope, "Master, if it is not too much trouble. May Dobby go back to Prince Manor soon and see baby Master Malfoy?"

Lucius nodded and said, "I don't think that shall be a problem but we need to ask Mr. Snape for permission since it is his home."

Severus smiled, "Dobby you are welcome in my house anytime you wish and Master Malfoy is ok with this too, aren't you Master Malfoy?"

Lucius looked sideways at Snape, "Yes, Dobby you may visit Prince Manor as you wish, as long as your jobs are done and you ask permission first if I am here. If I'm are already there or I am gone somewhere else you may go without permission to help Madame with baby Draco."

"Oh, thank you Master. Dobby is most excited to see Master Draco. Dobby has been wishing to see the new Master Malfoy." Dobby beamed.

"Let's get back, I'm sure they are all worried to death and this will be a long night, I'm afraid. Come on Dobby you may as well come too you can help with Draco while I have a long talk with Madame. I have a lot of explaining to do that I know will probably get me smacked." Lucius said in an unusually polite tone.

"Can I please sit quietly in the corner while you tell her? I will even pay you to let me watch Narcissa hex you into oblivion for telling the Dark Lord she is a dead blood traitor adulteress. What's it gonna cost me? I promise I can pay it." Severus teased.

"You know what, after the mini heart attack I had thinking I was going to die tonight and you helping me with my lie, you can watch for free. Because I'm going to tell her everything and when she gets done with me who do you think she's coming after? Then of course she will feel the need to tell her beloved sister what her husband said about her as well." Lucius said with his famous smirk.

"Damn, didn't think of that. Let's go face these women. Good thing Remus knows a few healing spells. Lily has a hell of a right hook." Severus said laughing just before they apparated into Prince Manor.


	51. Chapter 51

Upon returning to Prince Manor to their very relieved wives, they called for Dumbledore, handed over Draco to Remus who had Dobby following his every move and then went into the bar room to have a drink and prepared to piss off their wives. Over the next hour they unraveled the story of what happened at Malfoy Manor in great detail, telling on themselves for every lie they told the Dark Lord.

Lily was a bit upset but understood the need for the lies.

Narcissa on the other hand was a little more upset. She proceeded to cuss Lucius for everything he was worth. Lily tried to intervene and explain the benefits of the Dark Lord thinking her dead but Narcissa was livid about being made an adulteress.

Lucius took his punishment from his unrelenting wife without a word or a smirk.

"Hell Lucius I don't mind being dead but you seriously had to turn me into a whore too?!" Narcissa screamed followed by an open handed slap across his left cheek.

The whole room stood still in silence until Lily grabbed Narcissa by the arm and sternly said, "Cissy, that's enough! Come on, we need to leave them to talk and we need to have a chat as well." Narcissa still livid allowed Lily to lead her out of the room and upstairs into the library where she managed to calm her down and shame her for her actions.

Lucius was left rubbing his cheek that was now stinging with four small red perfectly shaped finger whelps.

Snape poured him a drink and pushed it down the bar, "Sorry man, I didn't think she would seriously get that pissed."

Lucius laughed, "She has always took great pride in her gracefulness and ladylikeness. I destroyed both of those things in a lie, I knew she would be pissed."

Dumbledore was left shaking his head at what he had just heard and seen and remained quiet for a short time. Finally he spoke up, "You two have no choice but to deliver the information. This was a close call and if it weren't for those elves you'd both be dead. Please inform me of the information you gather as quickly as you can."

"You're correct sir, we have no choice but to deliver what he asks. He is unhinged and would kill both of us. I honestly do not think the prophecy child will be born in the muggle world." Snape said with a tone of despair and hope.

Dumbledore sighed, "I agree, the child will be at least half blood if not pure in my opinion but he's leaving no stone unturned. I just hope he doesn't plan to kill every child born under these dates. I can't believe the Ministry failed at protecting those records better, of course no one would expect Crouch Jr as a Death Eater. Gentlemen, please be careful tomorrow and do as he wishes. I will see you both soon. I must go and deal with some things with the Order." Dumbledore bid his goodbye and was gone with a crack.

Severus and Lucius dared not to leave the bar they sat there drinking and talking about the best way to handle the mission ahead of them.

A short while later a very embarrassed and much calmer Narcissa appeared in the doorway.

Snape chuckled, "I'll leave you two alone if you promise not to beat on my friend again." Eyeing Narcissa as he spoke. Narcissa put her head down in shame and Snape took his glass and walked to the doorway where Narcissa stood. "He did it to end the hunt for you and Draco. You are still as every bit the woman you were before." Severus stopped and whispered before exiting the room.

Narcissa timidly made her way over to Lucius, "I am so sorry. I should have never gotten so upset. I understand now. Lucius I am so sorry." Narcissa pleaded.

Lucius laughed, "It's ok, I knew you'd be pissed."

"No, it is not ok, I hit you! You were protecting us and I slapped you for it. I am a horrible person!" Narcissa shrieked.

Lucius shook his head, "Witch as much as I have put you through over the past few years I think a single slap was well deserved."

Narcissa huffed, "I feel awful, is there anything I can do?"

Lucius rubbed his still red cheek, "Yeah, never punch me. I bet Lily has taught you her right hook and if it's as bad as Snape says I'm sure you'd break my jaw." Lucius finished with a laugh.

Narcissa rolled her eyes, "Dear Merlin, let's go get our son before Dobby drives Remus insane."

Just before dusk the following evening Severus and Lucius said their goodbyes and prepared to apparate to the first address on their list. "What's the first address?" Lucius asked.

"12 Winkfield Lane, Windsor, Berkshire." Severus said with distain at having to do this.

"Well we better be off. I don't wish to die after living through that close call." Lucius said with a huff.

The two men landed in a darkened alleyway on Winkfield lane and walked the street among all the other people in the very affluent neighborhood. They for once didn't look out of place due to it being Halloween night, everyone was dressed funny. Lucius and Severus noticed the homes as they passed them, they were all very expensive beautiful homes, these weren't typical muggle homes, these muggles came from money. "This can't be good. Money is power in the muggle world. I thought this was a wild goose chase but this changes things. He has carefully picked certain muggles." Severus said uneasy.

"You noticed that as well." Lucius agree. They found the home that sat at #12. "Dear Merlin, this is not what I was expecting." Lucius said in awe at the three story red brick home sitting before him.

"Let's get this over with, all we need is names and if a child is here. There's no need to give him detailed information I'm sure he already has." Severus said grimly.

The pair slyly made their way to the back of the home, which appeared to be empty due to the lack of lighting. With a quick flick they were inside. The very large and lavish home that was indeed empty. Severus and Lucius parted ways. Severus searched the second floor for baby things while Lucius searched the main floor for mail and pictures. They quickly found both, within 15 minutes they were both back on the main floor. Lucius found a piece of mail with the names Meredith and Steven Fletchley and a photo of the pair proudly holding a chubby little boy who looked just a few months old.

Severus was wearing a grim look, "There's a huge nursery upstairs holding every baby item one could ever hope for."

Lucius frowned and showed him the photo and mail, "Take it with us as proof?"

Severus nodded yes, "Let's get out of here. Where are we going next?"

Lucius dug out the parchment, "4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey."

With a crack the pair found themselves standing at the end of Privet Drive, it was lined with modest muggle homes. These homes were more of what they had expected, they quickly made their way through the crowded streets of parents and children and found #4. It like the other home was fairly dark on the inside in was a modest two-story home, in which they quickly made their way into. Lucius entered first, "I'll check upstairs this time. You look for proof down here."

Severus nodded as Lucius made his way around the darkened home. Severus looked in random places he knew muggles liked to keep mail, these were tidy muggles so there wasn't much laying around. Severus looked to the fireplace where several photos sat. He couldn't make them out but as he crossed the room his blood ran cold. He stood in shock and anger.

Lucius came bounding down the stairs, "There's definitely a baby here."

"That fucking bitch!" Severus said low and cold.

"What is it?" Lucius asked confused. Severus grabbed a picture of a fat man, a skinny woman and a fat baby, whirled around, "This is a fucking test. This is Lily's sister!"

Lucius looked at the picture, "Lily is the prettier sister. She hates her sister. Why are you so upset?"

Severus narrowed his eyes, "This is Bella letting me know she knows all about Lily, dumbass!"

"Oh!" Lucius said in understanding. "Snape we don't have a choice. You know that. Look at how big that kid is. He probably isn't even in the time frame. This is just Bella trying to piss you off." Lucius tried to reason with Snape.

Severus drew a deep breath, "You're probably right. He is rather large and Petunia is as ugly as ever. Help me find a piece of mail and let's get this over with."

It took some searching but they finally located a piece of mail with the name, Petunia and Vernon Dursley, on it. "Come on let's go to Knockturn Alley and call him. I don't want the bastard hanging around my house all night, he never said where to bring this stuff anyways." Lucius suggested.

"Fine by me. I need a damn drink anyways." Severus agreed.

In the same dark alley Snape had called the Dark Lord the night that Barty Crouch Jr. killed the slag, he called him there again. It was only moments until the vile hissing could be heard.

"I assume you two have completed your task?" The Dark Lord said in a cold tone.

"Yes My Lord, we have what you requested from both homes." Lucius said as he handed over both pieces of mail and the photos.

"My Lord, both homes had fully furnished and used looking nurseries, both looked to be for boys." Severus added.

"Very good. You may go. You have done well tonight my faithful servants." The Dark Lord hissed before disapparating.

"For fucks sake let's get a drink or two before I have to tell my wife and Dumbledore I just handed over my bitch of a sister-in-law and her child to the Dark Lord." Severus said aggravated. They found the closest bar and drank heavily for the next hour.

The news of the Dark Lord targeting Petunia was a bit shocking to both Lily and Dumbledore. Lily hadn't spoken to her sister in years due to her refusing to allow Lily to be a part of her wedding so she didn't even know of her child. "I'll go visit mum and dad in the morning to find out more information on the baby." Lily said solemnly.

"Lily love the child looks a bit older than what the Dark Lord is looking for. I honestly believe its Bellatrix sending me a message. You must be extra careful, and you will take Sirius or Remus with you." Severus said in a 'don't even try to argue with me' tone.

Dumbledore was a little disappointed they could only provide the two names due to having to call the Dark Lord to them, "He's being very careful. He didn't call a meeting so none of you would know the other's information." Dumbledore said grimly.

"Yes, I do believe that was his plan. That way if the information gets out then he will know who the traitor is." Severus said quietly.

"You and Lucius do as you must with as little harm as possible. You must maintain your good graces. Now is not the time to test his patience. We will have to wait on his next move." Dumbledore warned.

The next morning Lily visited her parents with Sirius and casually brought up Petunia.

Her mother was more than happy to tell her all about her first grandchild, Dudley. He was born June 23rd, which put him outside of the prophecy window. They all breathed a sigh of relief knowing it was just Bellatrix being evil, letting Snape know she knew all about Lily and her family. Lily didn't care much for her sister but no one deserved to lose their child. There was little chance he would be magical anyways, both Petunia and her husband were completely muggle.

The Dark Lord grew quiet again after Halloween. They were not called for meetings or tasked with anything else for a few weeks. They all enjoyed the peaceful time watching Draco grow a little more everyday, knowing hell was coming soon.

The Dark Lord who held a great distain for muggles seemed to be studying their behavior. The first weekend in December Severus felt that burn he hated.

Lucius just happened to be at Malfoy Manor for once, which was a good thing. Severus gave his usual speech of keep them safe at all costs and hugged and kissed Lily like it would be their last before apparating to Malfoy Manor.

The look on Lucius's face told him they were about to be tasked with something disgusting and Severus hated it.

The Dark Lord skipped his usual speech of why they were doing this and got to the point for once. He was still cold and vile but much calmer than the last meeting. He stood calmly at the head of the table once everyone arrived on time and began, "You have been called here to complete the second part of your mission. After much research I have picked the families I feel could be a threat to me in the muggle world. I have picked today because the muggles are in between their major holidays and won't be missed for a few weeks. You and your previous partner will go to the home given to you and kill the entire family. I want the prophecy child brought back to me dead as proof you have done as you are told. Bella will also check every address for the dead parents in case any of you are feeling merciful. Fail and you die. You have 4 hours to complete this mission. One second late and I kill you on the spot. I do not care who you are or how high you are ranked. Bellatrix give them the addresses. If I were you, I'd leave immediately." The Dark Lord demanded in a cold calculated tone.

Severus and Lucius were both sick at the thought of killing an entire family. Severus knew he would be handed the address of Privet Drive. Bellatrix handed him the parchment with an evil cackle and his heart sunk, already knowing what the parchment said he simply crumpled it in his fist. He stood to walk outside of the Malfoy gates to apparate thinking the entire time of how to get around this. 'Think you fucking idiot! There must be another way.' Severus thought as he walked.

Lucius quickly caught up to him, "I just knew it was going to be Lily's sister. I assume the Dark Lord made the final call and money trumped revenge." Lucius whispered.

Severus turned on heel, "What? It's not Petunia?"

Lucius looked confused, "No, did you not read the address? It's not any better of a task but at least it's not family. It's the Fletchley couple in Berkshire."

Severus sighed, "No, it's not better but at least I don't have to kill family."

"If only the poor muggle bastards had house elves to save their asses." Lucius said sadly sarcastic.

"Lucius you are fucking brilliant sometimes. Let's get to Berkshire, we only have four hours!" Severus said almost excited.

Once they landed in Berkshire Snape immediately called Shelby. "Yes Master?" the little elf said almost immediately. "Go to my stores and bring me a bottle of Draught of Living Death and hurry Shelby! People's lives depend on it!" Snape said hushed and hurried. Shelby left in an immediate pop.

"What in the hell do you have planned?" Lucius asked.

"I'm keeping us from killing three muggles hopefully." Severus said unsure. "I've never given this to muggles much less a baby, too much and they never wake up. The right amount and they are dead in appearance, sort of like suspended animation. Dead but not, if I get the dose right." Severus further explained his plan while waiting on Shelby.

Shelby promptly returned with the correct bottle. "Thank you Shelby, now please go home and stay there. Tell Madame Snape to call for Dumbledore, tell them both I said it is life or death for three people if they are not there when I return." Severus ordered.

"Yes sir Master Snape." Shelby replied before leaving with a small pop. "There's no easy way to do this, I say we go through the back door like last time. We body bind both parents and go from there. I made this so it's potent. I will need time to figure out how much to give to each of them, especially the child.

"I'll do whatever you want to do if it means we don't have to kill them." Lucius said hopeful.

The pair silently made their way through the back door and found the couple sitting at the dinning room table. Severus nodded to Lucius and they both threw a body bind curse at each person. "I'll stay here and talk to them and start trying to figure out the dose. You go and locate the child." Severus ordered, taking over the mission.

Lucius said nothing and left to find the child. Severus sat that the table where the couple were held by the curse. They could not speak or move but could see and hear. Severus quickly explained he was going to give them a sleeping 'medication' to save their lives and that someone would come and help shortly. He couldn't possibly explain everything to these people, he only told them enough to reassure them that all would be ok in the end.

Severus tried to guess their height and weight to formulate how much to give each of them to keep from putting them into a permanent slumber. Lucius returned to the kitchen where Severus was feverously trying to double check all his calculations to keep them out long enough yet not poison them beyond coming back.

"The baby is asleep in his crib. Is there anything I can do to help?" Lucius asked timidly.

"I've double checked this to my best. Just beg Merlin I'm right." Severus said nervously. Severus looked down at the potion and the amounts he had measured out and to each person. "I am truly sorry for having to do this, but it is this or death and we're trying to save you and your child." Severus said genuinely sorrowful. "Lucius, I need you to bind them to the chair. We will have to remove the body bind to give this to them."

Lucius quickly made his way over to the man and with a flick of his wand ropes tied the man to the chair. Severus stood on the other side with the measured amount of potion,

"We must be quick, verbally undo the body bind so I know when to pour this down his throat." Severus ordered. Lucius verbally gave the counter curse and Severus grabbed the man's face and poured the potion down his throat. Within seconds the man went limp.

They walked over to the mother, Severus with potion in hand nodded to Lucius as soon as the curse was lifted Severus grabbed her face but she managed to say "Wait, please!" before Severus got the potion in her mouth. Severus stopped and looked at the visibly scared lady, "Ma'am you must hurry. We are on a time limit and I must do this no matter what you say."

"I know, all I ask is you please take care of my son. Please. I know you must be merciful men or you would have just killed us. Please take care of him until I can get him back. That is all I ask of you." She pleaded as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Severus looked down at the lady with a face full of regret and sorrow, "I promise we will do our very best to protect your son. We have a couple of mother's to look after him until you can be awakened. I am truly sorry about this." Severus said as he gently grabbed her face and she allowed him to pour the potion down her throat. Just as her husband she went limp within seconds.

"I fucking hate this shit. Dammit!" Severus yelled after the woman fell unconscious.

"I don't particularly care for it anymore either. We truly were sick bastards before." Lucius said quietly as he looked at the couple to anyone would appear to be dead. Their chests didn't rise and fall and they already had paled some.

"We need to fix the scene. It can't look this easy. Break a few things around the house like there was a struggle. I will position them to look more natural." Severus told Lucius. They quickly went to work to made the house and couple appear to have struggled and look like the fell naturally when they died from the killing curse. Severus triple checked that he had everything he used to calculate and prepare the potion. "Now for the baby." Severus said feeling sick, knowing he must have this dose perfect.

"I'll get him." Lucius said grimly. Lucius quickly entered the kitchen with the baby boy who was now wide-awake wrapped in a fluffy blue blanket.

Severus took the baby from Lucius feeling sick and nervous, "Little guy, I hate to do this but it's your only chance." Severus said quietly as he picked up the dropper with the draught in it. The baby smiled at Severus and made a cooing noise, which tore at his heart, 'Merlin, please let me have this right.' Snape thought as he smiled back and placed the dropper in the baby's mouth. He watched as the baby scrunched his nose as the bitter taste fell on his tongue, then went limp and lifeless in appearance.

The pair exited the home; Severus called Shelby, giving her all the notes he made and the remainder of the draught and directed her to go straight home. "Lucius if this doesn't work we are dead men." Severus said nervously looking down at the baby who by all appearances looked dead, his little cheeks were already paling.

"I know Snape. I know. We've walked this wire for a while now. You'd think we'd of become used to it by now." Lucius replied.

Severus wrapped the blanket tightly around the baby and placed him tightly against his chest covering him with his cloak to help prevent splinching him during apparition back to Malfoy Manor. "Well, I suppose it's time to see if our luck has ran out or not. We shall see who the bigger fool is, us or the Dark Lord, let's go."


	52. Chapter 52

Snape and Lucius apparated to the gates of Malfoy Manor without incident. The baby was still limp and pale. Severus and Lucius simply gave each other a hopeful glance and put on their best Death Eater façade and made their way into the Manor with Severus carrying the baby.

The Manor was empty on the exception of Bellatrix and the Dark Lord. "Ah, I see my eager and faithful servants have accomplished their task first. Quite impressive to be the first ones back." The Dark Lord's cold vile voice echoed as he walked toward them.

Severus was still clutching the child close to him. Silently begging Merlin to let his plan work and allow them all to walk out of that Manor alive.

"I assume you succeeded?" The Dark Lord questioned.

"Yes My Lord, all three of them are dead." Severus said in low cold tone.

"We shall see about that. Let me see the child." The Dark Lord demanded.

Severus grudgingly moved the baby away from his body but did not let the child leave his hands.

The Dark Lord sneered as he looked at the muggle child. "Bellatrix, go make sure the parents are dead as well and hurry. I want them gone before the next pair arrives." The Dark Lord ordered as he still looked at the child in disgust. "Remove the blanket. I wish to make sure you have properly completed your task." He then ordered Severus.

Severus cradled the baby in one arm while he unwrapped the fluffy blue blanket leaving the baby exposed in just his thin sleeper. The Dark Lord watched intently at the child to see if it would breathe or move. The baby lay limp in Severus's arms; the Dark Lord then poked the child with his wand not wanting to touch it. When the Dark Lord seen no signs of life from the child he barked, "Put the child in this chair Severus." The Dark Lord was still not totally convinced the child was dead. No more mistakes could be made. He had to make sure the child was truly dead.

Severus gritted his teeth, but slowly walked over to a nearby wingback chair and placed the baby in it and stepped back but not far. He felt a sense of dread as soon as his fingers left the child's body.

The Dark Lord sneered and slithered around the child still looking for signs of life. He stopped directly in front of the chair looked down at the child in disgust, "Filthy muggle." He tilted his head to the side and raised his wand pointed it at the baby and the words echoed throughout the Manor as the cruel voice bellowed, "Crucio!"

Severus with a clench jaw and balled fist made one step forward when he felt Lucius grab him from behind. He turned to look at him and with his head down he shook his head 'no'. Severus was livid on the inside, he wanted to kill the Dark Lord on the spot even if it meant death for him. Anyone cruel enough to torture an innocent baby didn't deserve to breathe.

The baby never moved, he never cried, he never took a breath; the Dark Lord cackled then looked to Lucius and Severus, "Excellent! The filth really is dead. One less little brat to have to worry about."

It took everything the pair had to remain in their Death Eater façade and accept the compliment. "Thank you, My Lord." They coldly rang in unison.

Bellatrix's apparition pop came and the Dark Lord turned to her, "Well…."

Bellatrix had hell dancing in her eyes, "They appeared dead but I made sure My Lord. I set the house on fire." Bellatrix said with an evil smirk.

"Wonderful. Such a good servant you are." The Dark Lord said in praise, which elated Bellatrix. The Dark Lord turned to Lucius and Severus, "You two are dismissed, you may go do whatever it is you two do so often together, drinks and whores, I assume." The Dark Lord hissed at them.

Severus wasn't about to leave that child in the hands of that evil bastard, "My Lord, may I take the child and properly bury him. You have verified he and his parents are dead. He is but a baby." Severus said in a pleading tone.

The Dark Lord looked smugly at Snape, "I suppose your brief time as a soon to be father left a soft spot. I suppose every Death Eater is allowed a few moments of compassion. If it will ease your conscience, yes you may dispose of the filth any way you wish Severus."

Severus nodded, "Thank you My Lord." He muttered as he quickly picked up the baby. "Lucius I'll meet you in our usual spot in about 30 minutes." Severus lied as a cover.

"I'll go with you, we can dispose of it quicker if we do it together then we can see who wins at shots tonight. Winner picks the losers slag!" Lucius lied in return with a chuckle as they walked out of the Manor.

Severus quickly bundled the baby, pressed him against his chest and wrapped his cloak around him before they reached the gates. He whispered to Lucius, "Laugh and slap me on the back, leave your hand there so we can apparate." Lucius did as he was told and within seconds they landed inside Prince Manor.

The apparition crack was heard throughout Prince Manor, as it had been dead silent since Shelby had returned the second time with the bottle of draught.

"Severus! What do I need to do?" Dumbledore said in a rush as soon as he seen the pair.

"Sir, I'm not sure. I gave them the draught thinking that would be enough to satisfy the Dark Lord, but Bella returned saying she had set the house on fire. I have no clue if they are still alive or not." Severus said in a panic.

"What about the baby?" Lily asked nearly in tears.

"I have him, I convinced the Dark Lord to let me 'properly bury' him. The fucking Dark Lord used Crucio on him to make sure he was truly dead. I have no idea how injured he is, as I gave him the draught too. It was all I could think of to keep from killing them." Severus said pitifully.

"Severus I need the address, I will handle the parents, you all handle the child." Dumbledore said hurriedly.

Lucius fished the parchment out of his pocket and handed it to Dumbledore. Dumbledore was gone in an instant.

"Sev, love, the baby. I need to see him and I need you to think. I need you to try to remember how long he will be out. Was that the only spell used on him?" Lily said gently but with a tone of seriousness.

Severus unusually shaken came to his senses and gently placed the bundled baby in Lily's open arms, "Yes, just the draught and the Cruciatus curse. He should wake on his own but I'm not sure when he will wake, I've never given it to a muggle much less a baby. I gave him a very small amount I don't think he will be out long. That's if I didn't give him too much."

Lily looked loving down at the child then to her very shaken and brave husband, "We have him now. Go have a drink or five, both of you. I'll send Shelby for Madame Pompfrey if Remus and I can't handle his injuries. You two go settle your nerves; both of you did an amazing job. We are all safe now. Lucius, Narcissa and Draco are napping, I'll let her know you're back when they get up."

The men looked at each other but dared not to argue, it had been a hell of a day and a drink did sound tempting. Lily was right, she was the most capable healer in the house and they were finally all safe; at least everyone in Prince Manor was.

While the men sat in silence and drank reflecting on the days events. Lily and Remus checked over the baby. They found no visible injuries nor could either of them detect internal injuries. They did find the faintest sound of a heart beat so they knew the baby had survived the Cruciatus curse and was still alive even though he appeared very much dead.

Lily always kept some of Draco's clothing, blankets and diapers in her room for when he slept in their room, she asked Remus to go after clean clothing and a diaper. While Remus was gone she gave the baby a nice warm bath in the kitchen sink to get the filth of the presence of the Dark Lord off him.

In no time at all the baby had that intoxicating smell of innocence back, clean clothing and a clean blanket did wonders for his appearance.

"I think this is all we can do but wait for him to wake." Remus said quietly.

"Yes, I think you're right. I'll keep him with me." Lily said never breaking her gaze from the ball of innocence sleeping in her arms.

Remus watched Lily with the baby knowing how quickly she would attach herself to him and gave a slight frown knowing it probably wouldn't last; they would have to return him to his family if they lived. "I'll be in my room should you need any help." He said softly before leaving.

Lily took the baby with her to check on the guys and found they were quickly drinking away their stress. They both looked up and smiled seeing Lily holding the much better looking baby they had risked their lives for.

"Merlin Lily, what did you do to him? He looks like a different child." Lucius said looking at the baby intently.

Lily laughed, "It's a miracle what a bath and fresh clothing will do isn't it."

"He does look much better. I think some of his color is returning. Was he injured badly?" Severus asked worried yet relieved.

"Honestly, he wasn't really injured at all. I think maybe the draught saved him from the Crucio that bastard sent at him." Lily answered angry at the thought of the baby being tortured.

"So he should be fine then?" Lucius asked timidly.

"Yes, he'll be fine once the draught wears off. Remus and I couldn't find anything else wrong with him." Lily answered smiling down at the little one.

"That's a relief." Severus said with a sigh.

"We just wanted to check on you. I wanted to make sure you two were alright as well. We'll be going now." Lily said as she kissed Severus on the cheek.

Lily left the bar with the baby, satisfied that Sev and Lucius would be fine after the horrible day they had endured. She walked the main floor of the house quietly whispering random things to the still slumbering baby in her arms. She finally made her way to a rocker that had been placed in the living room for Narcissa and Draco. It was beautiful in there at night. The glass wall the chair faced gave a beautiful view of the moon and stars. She found herself mimicking what she had seen Narcissa do with Draco many nights when he refused to sleep. She sat and pointed out constellations and said their names. When she couldn't remember anymore to name, she sat and hummed softly to the baby not realizing how long she had been there or even caring. The moment that child was placed in her arms, he had her wrapped around her finger. Now if only he would wake.

She never heard the whispers in the doorway; she never noticed all of her housemates were gathered behind her watching her fall in love with this child that wasn't hers to fall in love with. She refused to think about the fact that this sweet little baby could be gone by tomorrow. She refused to worry about the fact he may never wake. She refused to face facts and be sensible like she would be normally. Lily's only thoughts were that this little boy needed to be taken care of and she wanted to be a mother more than anything. She selfishly gave into her wants and desires; that little baby was her only concern in the world in that moment.

"This could be bad." Sirius said in a low tone.

"You think I don't realize that!" Severus snapped quietly.

"What are we going to do with her when she has to give him up?" Remus asked in a hushed tone.

"Hell, if I know. I'll buy her a damn baby if I have to!" Snape said in quite frustration.

"Well, Bella did say she set the house on fire….. it's possible…" Lucius whispered hopefully.

"Lucius! Please!" Narcissa bit with a small slap to the arm.

"I'm simply saying, he could be an orphan now." Lucius whispered defending himself.

"I'm sure there are other family members." Remus said in a low sad tone.

"Just leave her be. Give her this, however long it lasts. Let her be a mother. I'll find a way to fix it when and if the time comes to give him back." Severus said quietly as he watched his wife finally getting to mother a child. Something he had taken from her; it was a bittersweet moment and he refused to ruin it.


	53. Chapter 53

Dumbledore arrived at Prince Manor the next day around noon wearing a grim face. "I need to talk to Severus and Lucius alone." Were his only words.

The three men made their way into the library and silenced the room. They all took seats, Lucius and Severus were holding their breath knowing this couldn't be good.

Dumbledore sat rubbing his forehead not wanting to deliver this information but felt they needed to know, "Gentlemen, there is no easy way to put this. Bellatrix did set the home on fire; by the time I reached the address there were already muggle aurors and healers there. There was nothing I could do to help. I did manage to find out that the wife is in what muggles call a coma and they think she will live, even with the injuries she sustained due to the house being set ablaze but she will not be well for some time. I assume the draught is what is causing what the muggles are calling a coma. The husband, unfortunately did not survive." Dumbledore said sadly.

Severus paled, "Was it my fault or Bellatrix?"

"Severus, you did all you could, to do the right thing in the position you are in. From what I gathered he died due to the fire, they couldn't get him out in time." Dumbledore assured him. "We do have several other problems and we need to discuss and how to handle them. The muggle aurors believe the child to be dead. We must decide on what is best for the child should his mother recover. If the mother does recover, we have the issue of her knowing you two used magic on her and taking her child. We can't let that information get into the muggle world. We have but two options, we obliviate her memory of that day and return the child to his rightful mother or, we obliviate her memory completely and allow Lily to raise the child."

Severus slumped in his seat, "Lily is already attached to him and she doesn't even know his name. I promised that woman everything would be fine in the end. I can't just steal someone else's child. I know Lily will be heartbroken but we can not keep that woman's child should she return to a state to where she can properly raise him."

Dumbledore nodded, "I agree it would be best to return him to his mother if at all possible. We have another problem. The muggle government knows of our world and is suspicious of how many families ended up in a similar fate. They have alerted the Ministry and the Ministry agrees with them that this was the work of Death Eaters. There has been a large bounty placed on every known Death Eater; both of your names are on that list. I think I can buy you some leniency if you were to turn yourselves in and I explain in private to the Minister what you two have been doing. We have piles of evidence of your help at the Order headquarters. I will leave the choice to you, just know it will be worse if you are caught. The Ministry owes me many favors and I would gladly cash them all in for your freedom." Dumbledore said solemnly.

"Death or Azkaban. I should have known this was too good to be true." Severus said bitterly.

"Severus, we don't know that. I may be able to persuade the Minister to advise the aurors to simply not see you and Lucius." Dumbledore said in a hopeful tone.

"Buy Lucius's way out. I'll serve my time. He has a child to raise. Obliviate Lily the day I go to Azkaban and prepare the paper work for me to sign everything over to her. Neither of you are to tell Lily or Narcissa, you said the choice was mine; this is what I choose. I'll go turn myself in after New Years." Severus said sternly as he stood and left the room.

The mood in Prince Manor was tense all afternoon. Everyone noticed the look of sadness on Dumbledore's face as he bid his farewells.

Lucius did as he was asked; he never said a word to Narcissa or Lily about the bounty on him or Severus, or the plan Severus had laid out for himself.

The Manor remained quite until a high pitched laughter followed by "Well hello little one." Rang through the Manor. They all ran to the source of the noise knowing it was Lily.

"He's awake?" Severus asked before he could even see around the chair.

"Yes, love, he just woke. Isn't he adorable!" Lily beamed looking at the yawning baby cradled in her arms.

Severus timidly made his way over to the chair and squatted down next to Lily, she sat the baby up so he could see all the people impatiently waiting to meet him. The baby seemed to be fixed on Severus, he looked directly at him smiled, cooed and swatted at his nose.

Severus laughed, "Looks like he will be just fine."

Lily smiled at Severus, "I think he will, all thanks to you and Lucius."

"Lily, his mother is alive and I made her a promise. Should she recover we have to return him to her. You understand that right, love?" Severus questioned in a timid tone.

Lily continued to smile at the baby and making faces at him, without giving it much thought, "I know."

"Lily what are we going to call him? We never found his name on anything." Lucius asked to change the touchy subject.

Lily laughed and in a mocking tone saying in the direction of the baby, "Men aren't very smart, no they aren't! If they were they would have seen your name embroidered on the corner of the blanket they brought you to me in." Lily then looked up "His name is Justin. Goofballs."

The room erupted in laughter and they all gathered around the dark haired, dark eyed, smiling baby that now had a name. It took some convincing for Severus to pry baby Justin from Lily but the child kept reaching for him and she had totally neglected herself since the night before.

"Lily, there are five of us, I think we can handle two babies while you go rush through a shower. He will be fine." Severus said almost sarcastically.

Narcissa stood smiling, "Lily dear he will be fine. Go take a minute to yourself, he will still be here when you return."

Lily couldn't argue with the entire room, with a frown she gave in, "Fine, I'll go." She kissed the baby on the head and gently brushed down a wild tuft of hair with her hand before she gave the entire room a look of defeat and quickly made her way upstairs.

Severus laughed, "I bring home a child and suddenly I don't exist anymore! I bet the most expensive bottle of whiskey in this house she comes and takes this baby away from me in 10 minutes."

Lucius slapped Severus on the shoulder, "Mate, that's how it works, babies trump everything and I wouldn't take that bet, in fact, I give it less than 10 minutes."

Remus and Sirius were standing behind Snape playing with the baby. "I say 8 minutes." Remus chuckled.

Sirius snickered, "7 minutes."

Narcissa shook her head at all of them, "That girl was born to be a mother. I hope this all works out. Draco needs changed and I say 5." Laughing as she walked away.

After the task of killing the chosen muggle born children, the Dark Lord went quite again. Lucius didn't bother going back to Malfoy Manor knowing aurors would come and take him away if he were to be found. Severus and Lucius continued to keep the secret of the bounty and his lack of leaving Prince Manor through a series of elaborate lies.

They all fell into their perspective roles, Lily and Severus played mum and dad to baby Justin and Remus and Sirius were the faithful uncles to Draco and Justin.

The days ticked by and in a blink the women had decorated Prince Manor with enough Christmas décor it rivaled Hogwarts Great Hall. When the guys would complain they were met with dirty looks and told, "It's the boys first Christmas!" which usually ended the complaining.

Severus knew what was coming for him and dread didn't even begin to describe the feeling he felt when he thought of being in Azkaban; the thought of Lily being obliviated again was worse than the thought of the lengthy sentence he knew he faced for his crimes. He kept the thoughts drowned in whiskey and focused on how happy Lily was, her entire being lit up when that baby smiled at her. He would simply smile at her playing with him and think, 'I guess this is as close to making it right with her as I deserve.'

Remus and Sirius were the only two who would leave the house so they handled all of the Christmas shopping for everyone. It was a huge task, it seemed as if they had apparated to a town in every country they wouldn't be noticed and bought one of everything for the boys. The adult gifts were much easier to come by.

Lily did send Shelby for Eileen and had her buy Sirius and Remus very nice gifts from all of them for their many trips to make the boys Christmas special. Eileen like Lily fell in love with Justin immediately and soon adopted Lily's attitude that he was their child now.

Christmas morning was chaos; the two babies sitting in their mother's laps were completely overwhelmed by everything handed to them. Shelby had made it her job to capture all family moments since the night Lily and Severus 'accidentally got married'. Shelby took pictures of everything. The little elf was hardly found without a camera on her. She didn't have a clue that those pictures would prove priceless someday. The adults all received beautiful and fitting gifts. It was a wonderful day, Eileen stayed for Christmas dinner and Dumbledore happened by "Just to check on everyone." There was not a word spoken of the Dark Lord or the Order or the war that was raging or anything that was stressful. They all acted as if they were a large normal family having a normal Christmas dinner. It was a beautiful memory they would all have to hang on to in the coming days.

"You can't do this! She needs you, if she loses you and that baby she will have no reason to live. You know I have obliviated her before and it didn't last. You can't obliviate that kind of love Severus. She will remember you in time! I see how you look at that child; you have grown to love him as well. Furthermore, how do we explain to her that suddenly she has a child and a huge Manor with no clue how she acquired it; then I come and have to take Justin back to his mother in the muggle world. Please Severus give me an explanation for all of this." Dumbledore ranted at Severus in the silenced library on New Years Eve.

Severus with his mind made up, "Lie, tell her whatever she needs to hear, and she has Sirius and Remus. They will not leave her and they have gotten her through the loss of a child before." He said in a cold tone.

"She lost a child she never got to hold. She has held him, nurtured him, walked the floor at 3 a.m. with him, SHE HAS MOTHERED HIM! THIS IS DIFFERENT! SHE NEEDS YOU!" Dumbledore yelled.

Severus drew a deep breath, "Have you taken care of Lucius's problem?"

Dumbledore narrowed his eyes, "You know I have, why do you feel as though you must face this alone? I told you from the beginning I would stand behind you when this time came. Let me help you dammit!"

Severus simply shook his head, "That's all I really needed to know. My crimes, my punishment. I will take them like a man; Sir, one does not take the brand thinking he will live happily ever after. I have gotten far more happiness than I ever deserved. She married me, I have known love that I never thought possible and for however long it lasts I gave her back the child I took. I have but one request. Should she have to return Justin, find an orphan from our world and help her adopt him. She will have more than enough money to take care of herself and a child for ten lifetimes."

Dumbledore paced the room, "You refuse to change your mind? There is nothing I can say to persuade you to let me help you?"

"No sir, I made this mess. I have done things that are unforgivable and well…. I guess you could say the dementors have come calling." Severus said unfazed.

Dumbledore was now livid at Severus's causal demeanor of leaving the life he had worked so hard to make, "Severus, I truly appreciate all you have done for our world to help the light. Without you, we would be losing this war. You have walked a tight rope between light and dark and saved hundreds of lives, one of which your wife downstairs thinks hung the moon. For you to walk away from her and him like they don't mean a damn thing to you… makes you a selfish bastard!" Dumbledore said in a menacing tone as he marched out the door slamming it and disapparating without a word to anyone else.

Severus sat quietly letting the words sink in. He thought for a while and then laughed, "Too good to be true. My happily ever after is over." He mused to himself as he finished the glass of whiskey.

The mother's had the babes asleep long before midnight with silencing charms on their rooms. Dobby was with Draco and Shelby was with Justin. This year the foursome had grown to six plus two babies but they held on to their tradition of ringing in the New Year together and smashed. At the stroke of midnight the kiss was given (which had to be explained to Narcissa and Lucius beforehand) and the toast to 1981 "May this be the year we have waited on since 1978" Sirius said in a laugh.

"Dear Merlin it has to be this year!" Remus chimed in.

"You've done this together since 1978?" Lucius asked a bit shocked.

"Well actually it started New Years eve 1977." Lily said with a tipsy giggle.

"Well we are late to the party then." Lucius said with a smirk. "I guess our invitations got lost by the owl you sent?" Lucius said picking at Severus.

Severus barely gave a grin, "I suppose so." Severus fell into deep thought about how much he would miss each person, before they entered his life Azkaban would have been a walk in the park but now he had more happy memories than sad ones. He found himself getting depressed by the thought and decided that he would not spend his last night with his family like this. No, tonight they would raise hell and be young and carefree one more time before he disappeared from their lives tomorrow. "Ladies, if you could go anywhere in the world right now where would it be?" Severus suddenly asked.

Lily and Narcissa looked confused at each other. "I'd like to see Las Vegas for real….." Lily said with a coy grin.

Severus gave a cheek splitting grin, "Oh really Madame Snape. It just so happens I have never been there before either. Have any of you been?" Severus asked his housemates.

He got a room full "No's." "Well then that is where we shall go then."

"What?!" rang out from several people. "We can't leave the boys!" Lily said firmly.

"Yes we can love. Ladies get dressed nicely and quickly. I will have everything arranged by the time you get done." Severus sent for Dumbledore and asked for one more night of happiness, which required a port key.

Dumbledore returned with the port key and upon handing it over to Severus parted with, "I really wish you would change your mind." Severus nodded and Dumbledore left.

Severus then sent for Eileen. His disheveled mother arrived quickly and panicked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to know if you would like to assume your grandma position and stay here with Justin and Draco and let us all have a night out. We will be leaving the country but you know you are safe here and there are three elves here to help you." Severus said playing the grandma card to get his way.

Eileen slapped Severus's arm, "Merlin! Don't scare me like that! I thought something was wrong with the baby! Of course I'll stay with them."

Severus rubbed his arm and chuckled, "You can sleep in our room, Justin is in there. Dobby will come get you should he need help with Draco."

"Severus, I have been a mother for quite some time. I can handle two little babies, especially with three house elves. Now you go change, those clothes won't do. Go on now." Eileen said pushing Severus toward the stairs.

Severus dug in his heels and stopped, he turned and looked at his mother with nothing but love on his face, "Thank you mum, for everything. I love you and thank you for never giving up on me." Then he gently kissed her cheek before bounding up the stairs.

Eileen placed her hand over the spot her son had just kissed and a tear rolled down her cheek, she loved the affection but knew something wasn't right. 'I'll get to the bottom of this as soon as they depart.' She thought.


	54. Chapter 54

Within 45 minutes of Eileen's arrival the 6 of them were in the foyer preparing to grab to port key that would take them to Las Vegas, they could have left sooner but Severus and Lily had to help Lucius and Narcissa with their choice of clothing. They knew little of the muggle world and had to change clothes 3 times before they were in suitable clothing; not to mention trying to explain the muggle money Severus and Lily kept in the Manor as 'just in case' money. Eileen reassured the two mothers that the babes would be fine and to have fun.

They finally grabbed the port key and upon arriving in Las Vegas they took in everything Sin City had to offer. They drank, attempted to gamble, watched shows they didn't quite understand and visited everything they could in the town that never slept. It was an amazing place even to wizards and witches.

"Wow! Muggles do know how to party!" Sirius slurred in amazement while stumbling down the strip.

Lily laughed, she knew more about the place than anyone else being muggle born, "You know a lot of American's come here to get married." She said nudging Remus.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Lils, like we could ever get married the muggle way. Not to mention we've never even really discussed it."

Sirius straightened up, "So, you think you're too good to marry a Black then?"

"Merlin Sirius, that's not what I meant. Muggles don't allow gay people to marry and we have never even talked about it." Remus said in a huff.

Lily still hinting, "You might not could get married the muggle way, but money is power in the muggle world. I'm sure we could rent a chapel for 30 minutes or so." Finishing with a suggestive giggle.

Severus smiled and whispered to Lily, "Love have you decided someone needs to get married here?"

Lily looked up innocently, "I have no clue what you're talking about."

Severus chuckled and shook his head. They continued to walk the strip when the two women squealed and with a pleading look asked if the could go into the infamous Tiffany's. The guys already knew they were defeated and said yes. The women were quickly lost in the crowd so the guys found somewhere to sit and talk. Sirius announced he had to go to the bathroom and disappeared as well. Lucius, Severus and Remus sat and talked about what was left to see before they had to return home.

Sirius who had told a little white lie finally found Lily and Narcissa. "Do you think he would marry me if I asked?" Sirius blurted out at the two women who were dazzled by all the sparkling diamonds in a case.

"What?" Lily asked confused.

"I asked a question…. Do you think he would tell me no?" Sirius asked again.

Lily smiled, "I was only teasing but if you are truly in love like I think you are then if you asked properly, I honestly think he would accept."

"I do love him and I hope you're right because I just bought rings with all the muggle money I won a few hours ago." Sirius said with a laugh.

"Sirius! Do you realize how much money that was? Didn't you win almost five thousand dollars?" Lily asked shocked.

"I really don't know how much it was but if he says yes then it's worth it. I am going to need some help though. I think it only fitting Snape performs the vow and I need you and Narcissa to find a fitting place while Lucius and I keep him busy. I know this is risky but please!" Sirius begged.

Narcissa and Lily smiled, "You have to ask first love." They said in unison.

"Shit, I forgot about planning that part." Sirius admitted.

Narcissa patted Sirius's shoulder, "We pasted a lovely park a few blocks ago, and I think I saw a small pond. We could happen back by there."

Sirius laughed thinking back to their first night together, "A pond would be perfect but I need to slip out of here and get there first. Tell them you seen me stagger out of here and I'll beat you there. One of you send him to the pond alone."

The girls smiled and nodded, "Ok, you sure about this?" Lily asked.

"As sure as you were the night you married Snape." Sirius replied with an arched eyebrow.

With a knowing nod the two women left to go lead the guys back to the park; all the men were clueless thinking they were chasing a drunken Sirius in a foreign town. They found the park and looked around frantically, then Lily saw a large black dog by the small pond in the distance. "Remus, go check by that pond, you know the crazy thing loves water." Lily said with a giggle.

Remus stalked off toward the pond mumbling about how stupid Sirius could be sometimes while Lily and Narcissa quietly whispered to Snape and Lucius what was about to happen.

Remus spotted the dog knowing it was Sirius, "Think you're funny, do you? I should throw your mutt ass in there!" Remus bellowed aggravated.

The black dog stood, walked over to Remus and placed his head under Remus's hand. Remus giving up being mad just laughed and patted the dog's head, "What am I gonna do with you?"

The dog nudged Remus's hand and dropped a black velvet box in it. Remus knitted his eyebrows and opened the box. Inside was matching black bands with a silver moon and a paw print engraved on both of them. He was so taken aback by the rings he never noticed Sirius return to his human form and was on one knee in front of him.

"Well you could make an honest man out of me and marry me." Sirius said as a question.

Remus looked up shocked, "You aren't kidding are you?"

Sirius smiled, "Nope, totally serious!" laughing at his name pun. "So is that a yes or a no?" Sirius asked the still shocked Remus.

"I can't imagine putting up with anyone else for the rest of my life. Of course I'll marry your crazy ass. I love you." Remus managed to say without crying.

Sirius stood, "I wouldn't want to annoy anyone else for the rest of my life. I love you." The two embraced in a kiss that fairytales are wrote about.

They never noticed that the other four people had slowly made their way closer to them. When they broke their kiss, Snape cleared his throat, "That sounded a lot like vows. I think all you need now is someone to seal them. I would be glad to return the favor."

"It would be an honor." Remus said with a smile.

Narcissa and Lucius stood hand in hand watching Snape seal Remus and Sirius's vows while Lily who had taken a page from Shelby's book before they departed snapped pictures like she had done all night.

"There's only one way to celebrate a wedding! We need to find a liquor store! It's tradition!" Snape said after Sirius and Remus broke their marriage kiss.

"Who's taking whose last name?" Lily asked with a giggle.

"Ummmm…. I'm sure he doesn't want to be known as a Lupin." Remus said with a soft laugh.

"What!? I only married you to get rid of the Black name!" Sirius shrieked.

Everyone laughed and they made their way back to the strip to find a liquor store to find several bottles of whiskey to finish this almost perfect New Years.

Back in Prince Manor, no sooner than the six of them disappeared by port key did Eileen call for Dumbledore.

He arrived promptly. "Eileen, what's happened?" He asked shocked at being called back to the Manor.

"Do not play coy with me, I want to know what is going on with my son. I know by his behavior, something is amiss." Eileen said flatly.

Dumbledore stood silent not knowing if he should break Severus's trust, upon thinking on it he remembered Severus had only said not to tell Lily or Narcissa, he never said anything about keeping the secret from his mother. "Eileen, I will make this short and sweet. Severus and Lucius had to commit crimes in the muggle world for Voldermort and there has been a large bounty placed on them. I tried reasoning with Severus to let me help him and he refused. He plans to turn himself into the Ministry tomorrow."

"Like hell he will!" Eileen shouted.

"I have tried many times in many ways to convince him otherwise and he is fairly set in his decision." Dumbledore said quietly trying to calm the livid woman.

"Have you not talked to the Minister about this?" Eileen charged.

"Yes, I have. I worked out a deal for Lucius, he is to go unnoticed until after Voldermort's downfall then he will have to go to trail for his crimes but his service for the Order will take a great deal of time off any sentence he may or may not receive. I offered the same thing for Severus but he refuses to allow me to help. The Minister already knows he defected long before Lucius and how vastly he has helped and the lives he has saved." Dumbledore defended himself.

"So he plans to just walk into the Ministry and let them take him straight to Azkaban then?" Eileen questioned in disbelief.

"He simply said he was going to turn him self in after New Years. That is why I gave him the port key. He asked for one more night of freedom. I felt it was the least I could do for him." Dumbledore said sadly.

"Well if he thinks I'm going to just sit back and do nothing he has lost his mind." Eileen bit.

"If you have a plan, I'd love to hear it." Dumbledore said flatly.

Eileen eyes were dancing with Slytherin evil, "Sometimes it's who you know that's important, then again sometimes it's what you know that makes things happen or not happen in this case. I happen to know a few things Minister Bagnold wouldn't want the public to find out. I'll be in her office first thing in the morning, you keep him out of the Ministry."

Dumbledore nodded, "I will do all I can."

Dumbledore departed and Eileen went and laid down on Lily's side of the bed next to the bassinet little Justin was fast asleep in, she intended to stay awake all night but found herself awakened by Lily.

"What time is it? Where is Severus?" Eileen said in a panic.

Lily smiled, "It's about 8. We got home around 3 a.m. our time. We had an amazing night. Sev is in the guest room we slept in. I came in here to shower. I thought you might have things to do today."

"Oh good, yes I do. Thank you dear. I must go quickly." Eileen said in a rush. Eileen rushed to the closest fireplace and flooed into the Ministry to demand a meeting with Minister Bagnold.

Dumbledore strode up and down the street around the Ministry looking for Severus, hoping he wouldn't floo inside. He had walked what seemed like a thousand paces when he noticed a little red fox sitting next to a bench directly across the street from the Ministry. He chuckled knowing it was Severus and slowly made his way across the busy street and sat on the bench. To anyone else he looked like a crazy old man talking to himself but he knew the little fox could hear and understand everything he said. He made pleas to Severus about Lily, Justin, Eileen and the Order. He talked about the torment that Azkaban would be. He was saying anything he could think of the change his mind about going into that building. The little fox sat stoic and rigid just like Severus would if he were in human form. Dumbledore continued to talk of anything he could to change Severus's mind. Dumbledore had one card left to play, it was a cruel card but he would play it if need be, "I suppose you think it best for Justin and Lily to live and grow up without a father and husband. I do guess it's better than what you know of a father and husband though. Your father was a vile man from my understanding. I suppose maybe that's why you're so eager to go to Azkaban. You're afraid you'll be just like him. Then again, Lily could always remarry and end up with someone far worse than you could ever dare be. Then again Justin's mother could heal completely in the next week or so and I will have to go rip Justin from Lily and poor Lily will be so deep in despair who knows what she will do, losing her husband and child in the same week. Won't matter to you though, you'll be in Azkaban trying to fight off the dementors. You'll be too tormented to worry about the wife and child you abandoned."

The fox was now bearing its teeth at Dumbledore who chuckled, "Ah, hit a nerve didn't I, my dear boy sometimes the truth hurts."

"Who in Merlin's name are you talking to Albus?" Eileen questioned.

Dumbledore looked at the fox and arched an eyebrow, "Myself, I suppose. What did the Minister say?"

"Severus has the same deal as Lucius, aurors are to be notified that he isn't to be killed or brought in. As long as he stays fairly hidden he will be unbothered until after Voldermort's fall. He and Lily must return Justin if his mother recovers but according to the Minister she is still unconscious, so we don't have to worry about that now. Then after I reminded her of a few embarrassing facts she assured me Severus nor Lucius would 'probably serve no time'." Eileen said in triumph.

"Well how do you plan on telling your son this? He was determined to walk in there today." Dumbledore asked.

"He has a wife and child to take care of! He needs to get over his…. Whatever it is and get his shit together and finish what he started." Eileen said sharply.

"Very well. Shall we depart?" Dumbledore asked holding out his hand for Eileen.

"Yes we may." Eileen said with a smile.

Dumbledore turned to look at the little fox but he was gone.

After Eileen left in such a hurry Lily checked on Justin who was still sound asleep, she returned to the guest room her and Severus stayed in last night. She thought she would find her husband still in bed but the bed had been made and a piece of parchment and a box lay on the pillow she had slept on. Lily quickly unfolded the parchment and sat on the bed to read it.

 

 

Lily, Once again I must ask for your forgiveness. I am breaking a

promise. I have hid from you the fact that there has been a large

bounty placed on Lucius and I for our part in Justin's kidnapping.

I have signed everything over to you. Dumbledore has all the papers,

including divorce papers should you wish to file those after the Dark Lord falls.

I'm so sorry love. I must do this, please forgive me and then forget me.

I have asked Dumbledore to Obliviate you but I know he won't, he fought

me on the subject for too long. Love, I have left you with everything you

could ever want or need. Take the money and adopt a houseful of kids

you, Remus and Sirius can turn the Manor into an Orphanage. Just be

happy love. I am so sorry our happily ever after wasn't forever. I beg of

you Lily, please forget me. I know in time the dementors will take away

every good memory I have and you're in every one of them.

You have truly made my life worth living. I owe you for every single

happy memory I have. You loved me when no one else did. I know this

will be hell losing each of these memories day by day. Please

don't live through that torment. Please let Dumbledore do as I asked.

I'll love you Always.

Severus

 

 

Lily sat in shock with tears streaming down her face. How could he just leave like this again. He promised he would never leave me again she whispered to herself. Lily opened the box that was sitting in lap she removed from it a silver chain than had a charm on it with the word 'Always' engraved in Severus's handwriting. Her silent tears turned into loud sobs as it hit her that her husband was probably in Azkaban by now.

Narcissa heard Lily down the hall and came to check on her, finding her in a mess clutching a piece of parchment and a necklace. Lily acknowledged Narcissa by handing her the parchment through sobs, Narcissa read it and now cried along with Lily. The two women who loved wanted men held on to each other and cried, they understood each others pain, they might not be sisters by blood but they were sisters by circumstance and this kind of circumstance is when they would lean on each other the most.


	55. Chapter 55

Lily sat at the kitchen table sipping tea Narcissa was forcing her to drink; it had been seven long days and nights since Severus had disappeared. "Forget him, he says! Like it's that easy. Let Dumbledore Obliviate you Lily. Fucker, has a solution for everything I guess." Lily said sarcastically more to herself than to anyone.

No one dared to speak; they all silently left the kitchen and left Lily to her thoughts. She thought of him and only him, everything that intertwined their lives, all the reasons she refused to forget him. 'His birthday is in two days. Surely he will come home before then.' she thought as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Dumbledore, Eileen, Remus and Sirius had looked everywhere they could think of to find him to no avail. He never entered the Ministry New Years day, he simply vanished. Dumbledore blamed himself due to the harsh words he said to Severus about being like his father. The tension in the house could be cut with a knife, everyone was walking on eggshells with Lily. The only person in the house who could make her smile or stop crying was baby Justin.

Lily heard the apparition crack that came in the predawn hours on January 9th but she never bothered to get up. Justin was sound asleep and she assumed it was someone returning from looking for Severus. It wasn't until her bedroom door spilled light from the hallway into her room and she heard that low velvet voice call her name, which could only belong to one man, did she jump out of bed. She ran to Severus and hugged him then frantically checked to see if he was injured, once she found he was in perfect condition the anger set in, "Where in the fuck have you been?" Lily growled.

"Love I'm sorry. I know I should have returned sooner but I had some things I needed to work through. There is no excuse that will ever make up for what I have done but I needed to do it." Severus said in a low apologetic tone.

"What could possibly take nine days for you to figure out?" Lily hissed.

"I needed to figure out why I always give up, why I think I don't deserve anything good, why I'm afraid of who I will become and mostly I needed to figure out how not to become my father." Severus mumbled with his head hung in shame.

Those words stung Lily harder than she thought possible, she didn't realize how much he was struggling with issues with himself and she had been so wrapped up in Draco and Justin that she had failed to notice. "Well, did you find what you were looking for?" Lily asked in a much softer tone.

"Mostly yes, I have been taught hate my whole life, whether it be toward myself and my mother or muggle-borns all I have ever known is hate. Then you, this ray of fucking hope wanders into my life and you're the only good thing about life. I wanted you, I had you, I lost you and then I get you back and still I think I am not worthy of the happiness you bring to me. Just like that baby, I feel like I don't deserve the smiles he gives me or why would he want me to hold him. I am a disgusting vile excuse of a human being. I don't deserve anything or anyone good. I tried to turn myself in and be put where I belong but my mother and Dumbledore stopped that from happening. Lily you both would be better off without me. There is nothing good in me without you. All of the good I have done has been for you. I returned tonight to tell you that I plan to leave for good and for you to move on with life. I have received every patronus sent, I only returned because I knew you were upset and worried."

Lily gave a bitter laugh, "Everything is for me? Everything? You've done nothing kind just to be kind? So I guess all of this is bullshit huh?" she said as she shoved a handful of random pictures of the last year into his hands, which had been laying on the bed. "You faked every laugh, every smile, every kind word to Remus or Sirius or Lucius. You brought that baby back here solely for me. Not to keep him alive? You chose to poison his parents instead of killing them for me? You moved Remus, Sirius, Narcissa, Draco and Lucius in this house for my benefit only? You're really going to stand there and tell me all those pictures of every moment over the last year has been bullshit! It's all fake right? Dammit Sev! There's more to you than me! Open your damn eyes!" Lily said in a range of emotions.

"Lily….." Severus tried to speak but couldn't. With every picture and every memory he realized, not one picture he had been handed had Lily in it.

Lily grabbed the pictures from his hands and threw them back on the bed, she placed her hands on his cheeks and made him look her in the eyes. "Sev, I know it's easier for you to think you're a undeserving monster but you're not. Deep down, you are good all by yourself. You deserve us and more. This war has fucked with all of our minds, I'm sorry I didn't notice you were having a hard time but I'm here, I refuse to be obliviated and I refuse to give up on you. I love you dammit. I don't give two fucks about the brand on your arm, the people you have killed or tortured or whatever it is that bothers you so bad. You made a mistake, you're fixing it, you can't run because it got a little overwhelming. I'm here, along with five other people who have been worried sick as well. We are a family dammit."

"Lily what if I fail? What if I do turn out like him? What if I end up dead or in Azkaban? Would it not be easier if I were already gone?" Severus barely choked out.

"No, it would not because you will not fail. You have all of us standing behind you and helping you. You are nothing like your father. You treat me like a queen and that baby over there loves you. You will not die because I won't let you and you will not end up in Azkaban because Eileen Prince says so. Now stop all this leaving bullshit and self doubting and come take a bath with me and I'll show you what you've missed in the last week." Lily said with a seductive smile grabbing his hand leading him to their favorite spot in the entire house.

The following morning the kitchen table was packed as it had been every morning since Severus vanished. Eileen and Dumbledore had already made it there and as Lily walked into the kitchen quietly carrying Justin she heard them planning where each of them would look that day.

She instructed Severus to stand just outside the doorway and listen, thinking this would help him understand his importance to people. Lily went about her morning routine making Justin's bottle not saying a word while the others chatted on and on about their fears, worries and where they could look.

Lily finally took a seat at the corner of the table where she could see Severus leaning against the wall outside the kitchen listening to everyone with all their words of worry and true concern. Lily gave him an 'I told you so look' with an arched eyebrow.

He shook his head in disbelief and walked into the kitchen silently, "If I were looking for the selfish bastard I would start by turning around." Severus said a rather chipper.

The room filled with gasps and then he was attacked with hugs and then the questions and threats came. He simply said he needed some time to think and apologized.

Eileen wasn't buying it but gave up when Lily caught her eye and winked mouthing 'later'.

"Well fuck this search party! It's your birthday dude! Now we plan a birthday party!" Sirius said cheerfully.

"I hardly think anyone feels like celebrating me after what I have put you all through the past week." Severus said softly.

Severus was met with a room full of objections to his refusal of a birthday party and told to hush about 'that nonsense'.

"You only turn 21 once! This will be epic!" Sirius said with an evil smirk as he left with Remus and Lucius to plan a party.

"I told you so." Lily said smugly as she feed Justin another spoonful of mashed bananas.

"I know love. I just don't see what they do, I guess." Severus said as he looked at her and smiled.

"We love you and we need you. If you leave us again, I will personally hex you into oblivion. Sweetheart." Lily said in an even yet scary tone.

Severus's 21st birthday party was indeed epic although hardly any of them could remember it. Eileen stayed to watch the boys and the six of them tried to drink the well stocked bar dry. Hangover potions were handed out by Eileen with a smirk as soon as one of them woke. The words, "I'm never drinking again." Were said by almost every one of them but those words would prove false in time.

Lily's birthday party later that month was much calmer but still fun. Valentines Day came and went with all the usual gifts and of course nightly silencing charms on all 3 rooms.

February 17th would prove to be one of the worst days of Lily and Severus's lives. That was the day Dumbledore came and told them that Justin's mother had awakened and he obliviated the day of Justin's kidnapping and that they would have to return Justin to her in just a few days.

Lily held on to Justin for dear life for those few following days. She barely slept thinking she would miss a moment with him. Three days later on the 20th Dumbledore arrived to take Justin back to the muggle world to his real mother. It was a long hard goodbye for the entire house, Lily swore to keep track of him and she would always watch over him through tears and sobs. Severus was heartbroken far more than he cared to admit, not just for Lily but for himself as well, he had grown to love the little boy.

Lily was a mess, she stayed in bed for almost a week; when she finally did get up everything she found that reminded her of Justin made her cry. Shelby kept all of her drinks spiked with calming draught. It was well into March before Lily resembled anything of her former self.

Severus found that she loved being in her animagus form and apparated them to random forests where they could change forms and play in the woods. Anytime Lily would start getting depressed he would grab her and apparate somewhere new. It helped them both heal and cope with the things they had a hard time dealing with. They both found peace in it, running wild and free without a care in the world.

It wasn't until June that Severus and Lucius felt the burn that they had almost forgotten about. They weren't called to Malfoy Manor because of the bounty still being in place on all Death Eaters. They were called somewhere they had never been before. It looked to have once been a beautiful home but it had been long deserted. The Dark Lord was no where to be seen, they entered the home and found a table near the door, on the table was a piece of parchment with Lucius and Snape's name on it. It was a simple note.

 

 

Lucius and Severus,

I have my own bounties.

Kill on sight.

Frank and Alice Longbottom.

Kill their brat first.

The Dark Lord.

 

 

Severus and Lucius didn't say a word, they took the parchment and left; going directly back to Prince Manor and inform Dumbledore that hits were being handed out by the Dark Lord in pairs. More than likely these were prophecy families.

Dumbledore informed them to not waste their time looking for the Longbottoms, they had been in hiding for months and would not be found in public. Dumbledore was very certain he had all the prophecy families hidden and that they all had secure secret keepers. He seemed unfazed for once.

Severus and Lucius still made appearances in known Death Eater hang outs just to seem like they were looking. They never stayed out long, just enough to be spotted by a handful of people and then went back to the safety of Prince Manor. This went on all summer and into the fall. When the weather started getting colder without a word from the Dark Lord they stopped even making appearances.

They went about life like normal. The pain of Justin being gone still stung on occasion but Draco quickly brought back his aunts smile. Severus was quickly becoming one of Draco's favorite people, he was the only one who dared to take him outside when Narcissa wasn't looking. They sank into a routine of normal again, the house was filled with laughter again and they almost forgot there was even a war going on most days. They didn't know what the Dark Lord was doing and didn't care. The Order never called for Lily, Remus or Sirius because they had nothing for them to do. They lived together happily watching and helping Draco grow.

Halloween night was a hard night for all of them, that night marked the one-year anniversary of locating Justin and they couldn't properly celebrate the holiday with Draco because even though the Dark Lord had grown silent the war was not over. Thanks to Sirius and Remus Draco got to celebrate the holiday, in a way, they got him a dragon costume and a ton of candy. The manor was so large that Lily, Severus, Remus, Sirius and all three house elves went to different rooms and gave him candy as he visited them. It was as close as they could get to letting him celebrate the holiday in true fashion. It didn't take Draco long to obtain a good sugar high and then quickly crash. He was sound asleep in a sticky mess by 9 p.m.

"I refuse to wake him to bathe him." Narcissa stated firmly with crossed arms looking down at the toddler covered in chocolate asleep on the living room rug.

"Come on Cissy, you can't put him to bed like that." Sirius said laughing.

"I can and I will. I should make you deal with him Uncle Sirius since you thought it would be funny to see how many chocolate frogs he could eat!" Narcissa said with narrowed eyes.

Sirius laughed, "I didn't think he could catch them all…"

Narcissa gave Sirius a 'go to hell' look before picking up the platinum haired dragon and heading upstairs to wipe him off and put him to bed.

"Well that's over. The kid is off to bed. Time to have a drink." Sirius said as he got up and walked toward the bar.

It appeared that the idea was popular, within 10 minutes all six of them were perched at the bar drinking their favorite brand of poison. They got lost in conversation and laughter. They were reliving the years that it was just the four of them, telling Lucius and Narcissa how they had pulled it all off and all the hilarious moments they had shared, like the shitting potion and why the word 'balls' still could get a giggle out of Remus at times. They were howling in laughter.

"Looking back I don't know how we haven't gotten caught." Snape said with a chuckle.

"Occlumency" rang out from the other five followed by more laughter.

"I truly would have never thought I'd be sitting here with all of you like this, but I wouldn't trade these last few months for all the gold in Gringotts." Lucius said in a serious tone.

"I wouldn't either. I have found true friends and a sister in this house." Narcissa followed Lucius's thought.

"Awww, we love you too." Sirius said sweetly.

Snape chuckled, "Do you know how many times we've said that to each other?"

"About a million!" Remus chimed in.

"We have walked a twisted road but we all ended up where we're supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason!" Lily said with a wink and a raised glass in a toast.

The laughter and stories continued, it was the happiest they had been in a very long time. It wasn't the alcohol making them happy it was each other. They truly had formed a family that at some point had put their lives on the line for the other.

Severus looked around the room and smiled finally understanding what Lily had tried to tell him months ago, she was the best part of him but she wasn't the only part of him. He did have good in him and these people were living proof of it. "Let me tell you guys why I spent so much time with Madame Pompfrey!" Snape said with a laugh looking at Sirius.

"Bastard." Sirius chuckled back.

About half way through the story a knock on the front door could be heard and the entire room immediately hushed.

"What the hell! Nobody knows about this place. How could someone be knocking on the door." Lily whispered.

"I don't know but you and Cissy get upstairs with Draco now!" Snape ordered. Snape ordered Lucius, Remus and Sirius to strategic spots in the Manor to protect the door and the stairs. Once everyone was in place Snape slowly opened the front door, "Dear Merlin, why the hell are you knocking! You know that's a good way to get killed! Get in here!" Snape bit.

"I apologize, I couldn't apparate in. I need to speak to Lily please." Dumbledore said wearing a very sad and distraught face.

Sirius dashed up the stairs to get Lily and let them know it was just Dumbledore.

"Why could you not apparate in?" Snape asked.

"I'll explain shortly." Was Dumbledore's short answer.

Lily came bounding down the stairs in a panic knowing something was wrong. Dumbledore would never knock on the door unless it was something bad. "What's wrong?" she said frantically as she reached the bottom step.

Dumbledore looked at her with a sad look, "Come let's go talk in another room."

"We can go into another room but they are my family, if it involves me I want them there." Lily said firmly.

Dumbledore nodded, "As you wish, living room please."

They all followed each other into the living room Snape and Lily sat next to each other holding hands while Dumbledore took the seat across from them. Everyone else spread out in the room but were all fairly close.

Dumbledore looked around the room then rubbed his face with both hands in exasperated frustration and sadness, "I suppose this does involve most of you anyways. As you all know I have hidden every family I felt was a target to Voldermort. I thought they were all safe. They all had very trusted secret keepers, or at least I thought so. One of the families secret keepers sold them out to Voldermort." Dumbledore said sadly with disappointment written all over his face.

"So they are in danger then? Do you need another place to hide them?" Severus asked.

Dumbledore put his head down and shook out 'no', "I'm afraid I failed them. Voldermort found them tonight. Both parents are dead."

"Why are you telling us this? Is it someone we know?" Lily asked confused.

Dumbledore clasped his hands together and huffed, "Yes, you might say that but I'm here for a different reason. The child lived, the mother threw herself in front of Voldermort's killing curse and some kind of love magic happened and the curse rebounded on him. Voldermort is gone, at least for now." Dumbledore got out before the room erupted in a loud mixture a gasps and sighs of relief followed by celebrations.

The excitement of Voldermort being dead was all any of them could think about, they totally forgot to ask whom it was that gave their life to end the reign of terror. When the noise died down Lily noticed Dumbledore's expression hadn't changed, "That's not all of it, what else happened?" she asked.

Dumbledore now looked rather nervous, "As I said, the child lived. He is now a true orphan. I have checked and he has no living family to take him and you were legally named his Godmother, shortly after he was born. I delivered the papers to the Ministry myself over a year ago. If you should agree to take him in, no one could ever take him from you. It would not be like last time. Lily I know those wounds haven't healed but his have just began."

Lily sat rigid and silent thinking for a short time, "I can't have another child ripped from me. What happens if I say no?" she finally asked.

"I will have no choice but to take him to an orphanage. Lily I know what you went through last time. There is no one to come to take him away from you. His parents knew this before they died, that's why you were named his Godmother and legal guardian upon their demise." Dumbledore said in a soft pleading tone.

"You're absolutely sure there is no one. I mean no one who can come take him in 6 months or 6 years?" Lily asked again still not convinced.

"Lily, they filed legal paper work to make him yours. There is no one, no one to take him but you. Lily, I wouldn't ask if I thought there was anyway he could be taken from you and he is going to need a strong family to help raise him. He would have that in this house." Dumbledore reassured her.

Lily looked to Severus, he smiled at her, "Love I'll do whatever you want."

Lily sat conflicted, the mother in her desperately wanted to say yes but her brain was saying no, she wanted to be a mother but she couldn't deal with having another child ripped from her.

"Lily, I assure you he is yours, please just meet him and if you don't feel a connection to the child then I will take him and never mention him again." Dumbledore pleading through Lily's silence.

"I can do that. When will you be bringing him?" Lily asked trying to gather courage.

"He is here now. That is why I couldn't apparate in. He is with Minerva outside." Dumbledore stated.

"Why did you leave them outside! It's cold out there!" Severus bit as he strode off to the door to call for Minerva.

Minerva walked into Prince Manor carrying a bundle of blankets, her bloodshot puffy eyes gave away the fact she had been crying for some time. Minerva gave Lily a small smile, "Hello dear, I wish this were under better circumstances, but it's good to see you."

"It's nice to see you Professor." Lily said timidly eyeing the bundle in Minerva's arms.

Lily started to fell a weird pull that she had only felt once before, the pull she felt when she found Severus at Eros's grave the first time. She would take a few steps forward and stop, it was an internal battle of mind over heart.

No one said a word, they all stood in silence and watched. Severus followed Lily but kept a small distance between them. Lily finally found herself in front of Minerva unsure of what to do or say.

Minerva seemed to know exactly what to do. She placed the bundle of blankets containing the little boy in Lily's arms. A tear immediately rolled down Lily's cheek, she had loved Justin dearly but this child, that she hadn't even seen his face yet, felt different. It was as though the universe had placed him there, never to leave her. It was almost a magical connection between them, Lily felt an immediate bond with the child she still yet to lay eyes on.

Severus was now standing directly behind Lily looking over her shoulder. He placed his hand in the small of her back to let her know he was there, Lily looked at him nervously, he smiled at her saying, "Whatever you decide love."

Lily looked back down at the ball of blankets and drew a deep breath before she found the courage to pull back the corner of the blanket that covered the little boys face. As she pulled it back Lily and Severus both gasped at the child, laying in Lily's arms was a chubby, raven haired, emerald eyed, little boy with a fresh wound shaped much like a lightening bolt; that was almost the mirror image of Eros they both had dreamt of years ago. They looked at each other knowing what the other was thinking. Lily couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh or cry so she did a little of both.

Dumbledore smiled a sad smile at Minerva knowing the toddler had won his place in their hearts already.

Severus and Lily were mesmerized by the toddler, who after all he had been through that night was happy and smiling up at time with those huge emerald eyes.

"Lily, it can't be can it?" Severus whispered.

"I don't know Sev and I don't care." Lily whispered back.

Dumbledore broke up the happy moment, "Lily, do I need to ask?"

Lily looked at him with a smirk, "You knew I'd keep him if I laid eyes in him but I swear to Merlin I will literally kill anyone who tries to take him from me."

Dumbledore nodded, "As any good mother would, and someday you may very well have to. We shall leave you now, I'm sure you'll need to sort things out for him. I will return tomorrow with paperwork from the Ministry to make him legally yours to ease your mind. We also have a few things to discuss regarding Voldermort and the child. Oh, Lucius and Narcissa, I wouldn't leave here until the majority of the Death Eaters are caught, it wouldn't do for Bellatrix to find you right now." Dumbledore said as he and Minerva headed toward the door.

"Headmaster, wait! You never told me his name." Lily shouted.

Dumbledore turned, shooting a sad look toward Sirius and Remus, then looked to Lily and said, "Harry. Harry Potter."

 

 

The End.


	56. Final Goodbye

Yes, that was the end. You can stop flicking, there are no more pages. I'm going to tell you a very short story about the story you just read. I sat down in late October 2016 under advice from a friend and began this story to work out some very personal issues. This story started as a way for me to work through my own heartbreak and loss. See in my real life my story is very much like that of Snape and Lily's in canon. Only in my story Snape died instead of Lily. Snape and Lily's story is what drew me into the Potter world and held me there. I know exactly how Snape felt, he is one of the two fictional characters I truly felt connected to. So I decided to give them the happily ever after I didn't get. Of course I had to throw twists and turns in there to make it interesting or make it mirror events of my own story. Somewhere along the line this story took a life of it's own and became bigger than 'our' story. I shared it fearfully with a few close friends and they pushed and pushed for me to publish it on fanfic sites. I continued to write but couldn't find the courage to upload it or hit publish until the end of December, when I published the unfinished work on FFN and wattpad. I was amazed I had readers the first day of publication. Since finishing the story I decided to share it here in hopes that you will enjoy it as well. You have read this entire story never knowing that it very much mirrored my personal life and you validated my feelings of loss and heartache. This story was not total fiction, its characters were borrowed but the plot was not entirely fictional. You, the readers and reviewers have helped me through a very hard time in my life. Thank you.

Now the burning question….. What next? Honestly I don't know. I have considered both options of an epilogue or a short sequel but I can't decide on either at the moment. I know this has taken a lot of hard work and hours and hours of research. Currently I don't have to time for another huge story like this turned out to be. I think I may do some funny light hearted one shots for a while and then maybe write a short sequel. I guess you'll just have to stick with me to find out.

Thanks for sticking with me and taking this journey down memory lane with me. I'm in a better place for talking that walk.

Much Love,

XOXOXO

Bella Prince

 


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